you can't fight gravity on a planet that insists that love is like falling

[neptune_sleuth]

So she'd spent the weekend as a hyperactive child, as Little Mary Sunshine, as Suzie Homemaker. So she'd told Logan she wanted babies, and implied that they ought to be his. That didn't mean she had to wallow. Veronica Mars had been there and done that, and she had every intention of moving on

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[callmeweevil]

It's the foot stickin' down from the tree that catches my eye, and I look up with a smile. Most of my face still feels like a giant bruise, but it's lookin' better than it did yesterday, and I can at least walk for more than ten minutes without wheezing. Lucky I heal quick, huh? "How's the view from up there, V?" I call, cupping a hand around my mouth.

[callmeweevil]

"Well, that makes two of us," I mutter. I can read her body language and I can tell she feels bad, and it's just makin' this whole thing worse. I wanna tell her I didn't mean to make her upset, but somehow I doubt it'd do much good. If she's upset, nothin' I say is gonna make it better. "Just forget it, okay," I say, my voice still low and I'm hopin' it doesn't sound as bitter as I'm afraid it does. "I didn't tell you nothin' you didn't already know."

[neptune_sleuth]

Veronica scoffed softly. "Actually, that's the bad part," she said, voice soft enough she might have been talking to herself. "I didn't." As if she hadn't had enough people throwing it in her face lately that she was self-absorbed. "I don't really notice other people's feelings, if you hadn't noticed," she added wryly.

[callmeweevil]

I shrug. "Well, you know. I'm not exactly Dr. Phil," I say with a bit of a grin; it feels hollow and forced, but I paste it on anyway. I want to point out that I didn't really admit to anything, but somehow I'm sure she got the picture and wouldn't believe me anyway. I don't really know what else to say; part of me just wants to go off and feel like shit about this somewhere she doesn't have to watch me.

[neptune_sleuth]

"That would be awesome," Veronica told him, mock-earnest. "Then you could just fix all of this right up." Her head bent, shaking, expression thoughtful. A moment passed in quiet before she murmured, "I hate not knowing what to say."

[callmeweevil]

You and me both, I think with a twist of my mouth. "Don't say anything," I suggest, crossing my arms over my chest. It's not like I can get more embarrassed than I already am, but I have a feelin' if she tries to talk about this more that might get proven wrong.

[neptune_sleuth]

Veronica raised an eyebrow. "Have... you forgotten who you're talking to?" she asked, turning her head, expression wryly amused. "I can't - I can't not talk. I just... can't say anything that actually needs to be said."

[callmeweevil]

"What d'you think needs to be said?" I ask with a short, dry little laugh. "There ain't anythin' I can think of. Look Veronica, we both know before the day's out you're gonna convince yourself this never happened, so why don't you do me a favor and start now?" And I go to brush by her, on my way to God knows where, just so long as it isn't here with her givin' me that face.

[neptune_sleuth]

Veronica didn't stop to point out that this day had seen her do other things in more dire need of being forgotten. She just reached out and a laid a hand on his arm to stop him.

"Go off in a huff, see if I care," she told him firmly, "but I'm not done. If this is going to mess up our friendship, tell me now."

She could hear Logan in her own voice, and she hated it. The demands and ultimatums - why she let him get away with anything, she still couldn't say.

[callmeweevil]

"It's not," I say softly, stopping level with her so by turnin' my head I'm looking right down at her. "There's not a lot you could do to stop me comin' back, Veronica, even if you tried." It's not an admission I'd make to many people; but I gotta remind myself she's not Lilly, she won't use it against me later. I hope.

[neptune_sleuth]

Her expression softened then - but only for a moment before she forced a smile. "I don't get it," Veronica said, and shrugged. "Don't get me wrong, I happen to like being adored, but - the more I think about it, the more wonder what I'm doing right."

As far as I can see, all I do is mess things up - especially since I got here.

[callmeweevil]

"You're you," I mutter, "that's enough," so quiet I'm half hopin' she'll choose to pretend I didn't say anything at all. I cannot fucking believe I'm doin' this, practically tellin' Veronica Mars I have-- I don't even know what. A crush? Whatever. Feelings for her? Maybe. Sure. Okay, we're friends, and half the time we're together I wish I had the green light to do stupid things like hug her, touch her hand, her neck-- it's not even like I want her, not the way I wanted Lilly... but then again, I doubt anyone's ever gonna have quite the same effect on me that Lilly did, and I'm thinkin' that's a good thing.

[neptune_sleuth]

It shouldn't be, she thought, and it was quite possibly the first time Veronica Mars had ever stopped watching the world revolve around her long enough to think maybe it shouldn't. "What does being me come with?" she asked wryly. Break the tension. "Please tell me I get a crown and cape of some kind."

[callmeweevil]

"Yeah, the Veronica Mars action figure comes complete with tiara and superhero cape," I say softly, turning a barely noticeable bit towards her, my hand shifting so my fingers brush her elbow. My eyes won't leave hers, and I'm tryin' to tell myself to walk away now, but somethin' won't let me. Somethin's telling me to stay, to see this through. Whatever it is.

[neptune_sleuth]

The possibility of there actually being a Veronica Mars action figure somewhere in some other world is a little bit disturbing, but I can't focus on that now.

"Goody," she managed to chirp. "I always wanted a tiara." And a pony, she thought automatically, but no one believed her anyway.

[callmeweevil]

Her eyes on mine are kinda skittish and I'm wonderin' if she's panicking as much as I don't wanna admit I am right now. "Yeah, well, you missed your shot at prom queen by showin' up here, 'sonly fair, right?" I murmur, my fingers brushing her elbow again. I realize (like it's news, which it isn't) that I wanna kiss her, but I don't, 'cus God only knows what's gonna come out of it if I do; it won't be good, you can bet that.