Lost Fic: Juliet & Kate: Fire in her eyes: Chapter 3
Title: Fire in her eyes
Author(s): kassandra_luem & carlyisnot
Fandom: Lost
Pairing: Juliet & Kate- (Juliate!)
Rating: PG ish for now
Summary:* "I know all about you, Juliet. You're dead already. Completely dead on the inside. You're not even a human being anymore."
"You know what, Kate? Maybe you're right."*
**The aftermath of a suspicious fire causes Kate to re-evaluate everything she has ever believed about Juliet Burke.**
***Set roughly amidst the chaos of season 3. ***
Disclaimer: We don't own anything!
1 & 2 @ our LJ the2julies.livejournal.com/1328.html
Chapter 3
Kate
“Stop. Her shoulder.” Kate protests, not ready to face the questions about Jack, and strangely unable to enjoy Juliet’s agony. Didn’t Juliet just save her life after all? Kate forgot all about the dislocated shoulder until that moment., Juliet never even flinched as Sayid threw her up against that tree.
“I never touched her shoulder.” Sayid feels the need to defend himself against Kate’s harsh gaze aimed in his direction.
“No, you didn’t,” Kate answers him. “Just… put her shoulder back, will you?”
“Way to go, Freckles.” Sawyer congratulates her. “But sorry, Juliet, there isn’t time to fix your shoulder. A big old oil tank is about to explode and we gotta get outta here.”
Kate tries to remember which shoulder she had pulled against as Juliet dragged her from the burning building. While Juliet finally screamed , she makes no other show of pain, she isn’t clutching it with her uninjured arm. It takes a minute for Kate to remember. She stands in front of the woman boldly, the others watching closely, wondering just what she is going to do and hoping that whatever it is, it will be excruciatingly painful for Juliet.
Juliet screams for a second time as Kate pushes the arm back into its socket. And somehow that sound causes Kate’s breath to catch in her throat.
Sayid smirks with pleasure at this new sight of Juliet in pain and screaming, and Kate can tell that they are all thinking she did it for that purpose, to cause Juliet pain. They aren’t entirely wrong. Kate pulled on Juliet’s arm more forcefully than necessary, and twisted it violently before locking it back into place. Partly out of anger, partly out of fear. Fear of this strange feeling inside of her, this feeling of compassion for Juliet.
Kate had to do something to stomp that out of her heart. So she forced herself to do it, twist that arm painfully back and forth before relocating it. Yet it wasn’t nearly as satisfying as she imagined. Causing this woman who hid her pain so well, to scream, to bite down on her lip in agony. After everything Juliet and her people did, Kate imagined revenge would have been sweeter. She should have learned, long ago, that revenge left bitterness staining your soul, and that the regret, the darkness, was simply not worth it. Hurting Juliet won’t bring Jack back. Just as killing her father didn’t bring healing or peace to her or her mother.
“What do you mean. About Jack. Tell me, Kate?” Sawyer asks finally. They all turn to her, questions in their eyes. But she has no words. Kate only shakes her head sadly.
At this silent confirmation that Jack is dead, their anger turns back to Juliet. Sawyer clenches his fist, ready to punch her. Sawyer and Sayid are going to beat her until she talks or drops dead. Which ever comes first. And in the mean time there’s fierce fire blazing all around, moving steadily closer, ready to consume whatever comes across its path without discrimination..
Kate catches Juliet’s eye.
“We need to get out of here,” Juliet says it to Kate-
“Shut up” Sawyer spits at her, “no one asked you.”
Juliet is right, Kate thinks to herself, but she doesn’t dare say that aloud.
The noise of an explosion from the other end of the compound causes them all to jump in shock..
“We need to go, there is nothing we can do for Jack.” Kate forces herself to say it, the words catch in her throat and she turns away from the others, hiding the tears in her eyes, turns away from the burning smouldering wreckage. From Jack. The thought of leaving Jack behind, alive or dead, tears her heart out, but it isn’t safe. Juliet is right. It’s time to go.
Sawyer places his hand on Kate’s shoulder, she pushes him away raising her voice louder, “We need to go. Now. “
Most of the others begin walking back along the trail after Sawyer and Sayid nod in agreement. But Kate waits for them, for Juliet, because she knows Juliet is the one with the answers, and she is not ready to let that go. And because her feet are somehow glued to the spot she’s standing and she doesn’t think she can move.
The men talk softly between themselves. From his back pack Sawyer pulls a rope and Kate realises with horror that he is going to tie Juliet to the tree and leave her there to burn.
“No”. Kate protests. Loudly. They look to her as if she was mad, completely insane. Juliet looks to her too a…strange softness in her eyes.
“Kate go with the others, you don’t need to see this. We’ll take care of it.” Sawyer orders her.
“No!”. she repeats. Forcefully.
“It’s nothing less than what she did to Jack.” Sawyer explains.
Kate wants to protest that it is cruel, inhumane, that they won’t stoop to the level of the Others. It would sound hypocritical coming from her, a convicted murderer. Instead Kate says something else, also true, and perhaps more convincing.
“She is the only one who knows…the things that happened in there. I need to know. I need answers. Juliet comes with us.”
The men exchange a troubled glance and finally give in. Kate is becoming almost hysterical in her insistence, and Sawyer doesn’t have it in him to resist her in such a state.
The expression on Juliet’s face doesn’t change. One minute the woman is tied to a tree left for dead, without fear, without pleading. Juliet didn’t ask for a thing. The next minute she is free, saved, all because of Kate, yet she is not grateful, not relieved, not anything. Just stone cold again. Any trace of softness in her eyes, gone.
Sayid pushes Juliet along the path. “Come.” Sawyer says to Kate, extending his hand to her, but she stands firmly cemented to the spot. As much as it makes sense to leave, to get the others to safety, as much as she knows there is no point in standing here letting herself burn to the ground, she just doesn’t have it in her to make her legs take her away from this place, to leave Jack behind as if he meant nothing. She shakes her head slightly without saying a word.
Sawyer knows better than to try to convince her to move, he can see that she just isn’t capable of physically walking away, can’t bring herself to do it. And he quickly sweeps her into his arms before she can protest, as if she was a little girl, and carries her along the path towards the beach.
~~~
Hours later Kate wakes in her tent, screaming. Sun rushes to her side, soothing her with comforting words. Kate pushes her aside, she needs to breathe, and hastily makes her way out of the tent.
The sun is almost setting, daylight fading across the ocean. A crisp chill in the air. Eerie silence hangs over the camp. Emptiness. The others are preparing dinner around the campfire.
Kate stands for a moment, staring into the flickering flames. And she remembers the intense heat, the thick smoke choking her, her hand burning against the metal handcuffs, Jack’s lifeless hand brushing against her own. It is too much.
She walks purposefully toward the fire, kicking angrily at the burning logs with her feet, pushing them into the sand to extinguish the flames. Charlie is behind her in an instant pulling her away, and someone, somewhere, brings a bucket of water, putting the fire out before Kate manages to catch her clothes alight.
They look to Kate, all of them. Concerned and confused. They look to her and Kate sees it in their eyes, sees their hopes and dreams for ‘Kate their leader’, for Kate to take over and keep things going now Jack is gone, all those hopes shatter in their weary eyes.
They look to her and see that Kate, their fearless leader, lost the plot.
After asking if she was ok, Charlie gently tells her that it’s going to be freezing tonight, people need to eat. Fire means survival when you are living in the open.
“No fire. “ She orders.
It is not because of her presence as a leader that they scatter in obedience to her command. It is merely the fact that they feel sorry for her, poor Kate, who lost the plot, lost Jack, they pity her. And so for one night, they allow her this moment of insanity, grant her request, and make their way to their tents, cold and hungry.
“Where are they?” Kate asks Charlie after the others are gone.
He looks confused
“Sawyer, Sayid … her?” Kate clarifies.
“Jack’s tent.” Charlie stumbles over the words. The thought of Juliet in Jack’s tent sickens Kate.
Kate turns to Charlie with a silent icy gaze that said ‘Don’t you dare follow me.’ and makes her way to Jack’s tent.
They are tying Juliet with ropes as Kate enters, binding her hands behind her back, it seems unnecessary considering Sayid and Sawyer took it upon themselves to be Juliet’s body guard. Where is she going to go, what is she going to do?
“You are going to pay for this.” Sawyer speaks harshly to Juliet.
“You should be thanking me.” Juliet responds. “I saved your girlfriends life, got Jack out of the way. She’s all yours now.” After the way Juliet endured Sayid’s earlier interrogation in silence, it is a shock to hear her speak at all. Even if it is a taunt at Sawyer. But as Juliet looks up and sees Kate in the doorway, her boldness vanishes. As if she didn’t want Kate to hear that comment.
“Her shoulder”, Kate reminds Sawyer as he binds her hands behind her back. Sawyer smirks and pulls harder against the ropes.
Juliet shoots Kate a look that says ‘Thanks a lot for opening your big fat mouth.’ Sayid just shakes his head, wondering why on earth Kate would care. And in truth, Kate isn’t sure why it bothers her so much, thinking of the pain Juliet is in. Why should she care? Is it just guilt because she’s the one who inadvertently yanked that arm out of its socket? She reminds herself again that while she remembers little about the fire and the week preceeding it, and could scarcely trust the memories she did have. Juliet is still one of them. And Kate has to believe, along with the others, that Juliet is somehow responsible for all of this.
It angers Kate, that bitter look from Juliet. She was trying to help, and it’s more than Juliet deserves. And now her own people are looking at her like she had way too much smoke on the brain for giving a second thought to Juliet’s shoulder. And Juliet for all of Kate’s efforts, is blaming Kate for their cruelty. When in reality, Juliet has no one to blame but herself, no one forced her into a life of ‘otherness’, kidnapping and tormenting innocent people, no one forced her into a burning building, Kate never asked her to save the day.
“I want to talk to her alone.” Kate announces.
The men exchange glances of hesitation
“What is she going to do? She is tied up.”
“We’ve been trying all afternoon, she isn’t going to say a word.” Sayid says.
“Leave us alone.” Kate insists.
And just the way the others scattered and put out the campfire against their better judgement, the men leave the tent.
Kate shakes her head as she hears Sawyer exclaim, “What the fuck happened to the fire?”. It almost makes her smile.
Then there is silence. Juliet sits on the ground, her arms and legs bound, and Kate stands towering over her
“Tell me. Everything”. Kate finally speaks.
“You were there Kate” Juliet reminds her.
“I don’t remember.” Kate confesses.
“Maybe that’s for the best.” Juliet suggests. “It’s a good thing you hit your head then.”
Kate can’t think of a reply. Burning inside her is endless anger and confusion and guilt and shame. Nothing makes sense. Juliet has the answers, and Kate tells herself that if she stands there and angrily demands the truth, Juliet might just give it to her. That causes her to hesitate. Because like Juliet said, maybe it is for the best to forget.
“You should take care of that.” Juliet says, her eyes on the deep laceration to the side of Kate’s head.
“Its fine, Sun put some herbal stuff on it.” Kate answers, wondering how the conversation took this direction, she has to get back on track, find her answers. The not knowing will kill her faster than the truth.
“It’s going to get infected if you don’t take proper care of it. “ Juliet warns.
“Well that’s a problem, Juliet, since you killed our Doc.” Kate accuses her icily. And she can scarcely believe the callous way she herself refers to Jack’s death, turning it into something to taunt Juliet with. It is disrespectful, and Kate hates herself for it.
Juliet doesn’t flinch at Kate’s words. “This is his tent, where does he keep his medical supplies? Maybe I can help.”
Kate shrugs. The last thing on her mind is her head, and she can’t fathom why it should matter to Juliet either.
“Untie me, I’ll help you.” Juliet tells her.
Kate laughs. “If you want me to untie you, you’ll have to do better than that!“
“I am a doctor.” Juliet reminds Kate.
“You think I’d trust you?”
“What choice do you have Kate?”
Kate knows she has plenty of choices. But for reasons she doesn’t understand, Kate unties the woman. After all, Sawyer and Sayid are just outside, where is Juliet going to go, what more can she possibly do?
Juliet strains her eyes in the diming light, looking through Jack’s box of assorted medications and first aid supplies. Finally she selects two pills from a bottle, and some sort of tube of cream. Juliet then sits cross legged on the floor in the far corner of the tent, where the light is brightest.
“Sit.” she tells Kate.
Kate shifts nervously from one foot to the other, looks over her shoulder at the tent flap wondering just what the hell what would happen if the boys came back in right at this moment in time, and finally sits herself opposite Juliet, allowing her to apply the cream to the gash on her head. It stings and Kate pulls away angrily.
“Sorry.” Juliet apologises.
“Sorry?” Kate repeats. “You’re sorry for that? “
Juliet doesn’t reply. When she’s finished she hands Kate the two pills. Kate holds them tentatively in the palm of her hand.
“Antibiotics.” Juliet explains. “The wound is deep, it’s bound to get infected out here.”
Kate looks at the pills, they could be anything. She shakes her head. “No way.” There’s no way she is swallowing those.
“You don’t trust me? “
“Should I?”
“Do you really even care, Kate?”
“Excuse me?”
“You almost kill me when I risk my own life entering a burning building to save you, almost get yourself killed to save a dead body. If Sawyer hadn’t picked you up in his arms tell me you wouldn’t have run back inside that compound looking for Jack. How much does your life really mean to you? Do you really even care if I poison you?”
Juliet may not be trying to poison her, but she is trying damn hard to confuse her. And succeeding. Why would she have gone into the building for Kate? Did Juliet know Jack was dead already? Was he really dead already? SO many questions. As she recalls her nightmare about Jack, Kate isn’t sure she really wants to know the answers. And in answer to Juliet’s question- No, right now she doesn’t care much if she takes strange pills and drops dead.
Having decided that she swallows them quickly.
Juliet reaches towards her wrist, and Kate shivers. Telling herself it was just from the cold because she was stupid enough to put the fire out. The skin had blistered from the handcuffs burning against her skin, but Juliet’s touch soothes the throbbing aching pain.
“I heard you screaming.” Juliet tells her.
“In the fire?” Kate asks, remembering how she tried so hard to scream for Jack. “You’d scream, too, trapped in a burning building. Or maybe you wouldn’t. “
Juliet ignores the insult. “No, not in the fire. Just before.”
Kate finds it unnerving the way Juliet looks her in the eye the way everyone else is afraid to. Without pity and without thinking she is crazy. It unnerves Kate the way Juliet boldly asks to be untied. It frightens her the way Juliet’s touch stops her heart beating, and that cold gaze of steel , the way she never screamed as Sayid tormented her, it is disturbing, it is wrong. Juliet isn’t human and she can’t be trusted. And Kate despises herself for sitting like this opposite this woman. It’s why she hardens her tone when she answers.
“I had a nightmare. Some of us have feelings. You know, when we see a man burn to death before our very eyes …”
Juliet is unperturbed. “Is that what you dreamt about? Jack?” Juliet asks, as if it is any of her business. The way Juliet seems to see into her soul, the way she is asking questions about Jack, coupled with Kate’s own fear at her feelings towards the woman, causes Kate to ignore the question, and angrily attack Juliet.
“What is wrong with you anyway? Jack never hurt you, Jack never hurt anyone. You and your people are barbaric, torturing, kidnapping, experiment on innocent people, you’re completely criminally insane. But you, you’re the worst, because you just don’t care. You killed Jack and you don’t care, you’re a cold blooded killer.”
“I’m a cold blooded killer?” Juliet asks in disbelief. “If that isn’t the pot calling the kettle black then I don’t know what is.” She answers calmly, while skilfully refraining from incriminating herself in Jack’s death.
“You don’t know anything about me!” Kate insists, angry beyond belief that Juliet would know anything about her past, much less throw it in her face.
“And you don’t know anything about me!” Juliet answers, angry now. And Kate finds it satisfying that she seems to have cracked Juliet’s cold lifeless veneer, that she found the woman does have some kind of feelings.
“I know all about you, Juliet. You’re dead already. Completely dead on the inside. You have no feelings, no remorse. How long do you think before someone snaps and kills you? It’s what you deserve, you killed Jack. I know you did. How did you know where to find us? How did you know he was dead already? Why wont you answer any of our questions? Because you’re guilty and you’re not even sorry. And now you’re here, surrounded by people who hate you, people who want you to suffer a long long time and die. And it doesn’t even touch you, you’re not even afraid, you don’t beg for your life, for your freedom. Because there is nothing living inside you Juliet. You’re not even a human being anymore.“
Author(s): kassandra_luem & carlyisnot
Fandom: Lost
Pairing: Juliet & Kate- (Juliate!)
Rating: PG ish for now
Summary:* "I know all about you, Juliet. You're dead already. Completely dead on the inside. You're not even a human being anymore."
"You know what, Kate? Maybe you're right."*
**The aftermath of a suspicious fire causes Kate to re-evaluate everything she has ever believed about Juliet Burke.**
***Set roughly amidst the chaos of season 3. ***
Disclaimer: We don't own anything!
1 & 2 @ our LJ the2julies.livejournal.com/1328.html
Chapter 3
Kate
“Stop. Her shoulder.” Kate protests, not ready to face the questions about Jack, and strangely unable to enjoy Juliet’s agony. Didn’t Juliet just save her life after all? Kate forgot all about the dislocated shoulder until that moment., Juliet never even flinched as Sayid threw her up against that tree.
“I never touched her shoulder.” Sayid feels the need to defend himself against Kate’s harsh gaze aimed in his direction.
“No, you didn’t,” Kate answers him. “Just… put her shoulder back, will you?”
“Way to go, Freckles.” Sawyer congratulates her. “But sorry, Juliet, there isn’t time to fix your shoulder. A big old oil tank is about to explode and we gotta get outta here.”
Kate tries to remember which shoulder she had pulled against as Juliet dragged her from the burning building. While Juliet finally screamed , she makes no other show of pain, she isn’t clutching it with her uninjured arm. It takes a minute for Kate to remember. She stands in front of the woman boldly, the others watching closely, wondering just what she is going to do and hoping that whatever it is, it will be excruciatingly painful for Juliet.
Juliet screams for a second time as Kate pushes the arm back into its socket. And somehow that sound causes Kate’s breath to catch in her throat.
Sayid smirks with pleasure at this new sight of Juliet in pain and screaming, and Kate can tell that they are all thinking she did it for that purpose, to cause Juliet pain. They aren’t entirely wrong. Kate pulled on Juliet’s arm more forcefully than necessary, and twisted it violently before locking it back into place. Partly out of anger, partly out of fear. Fear of this strange feeling inside of her, this feeling of compassion for Juliet.
Kate had to do something to stomp that out of her heart. So she forced herself to do it, twist that arm painfully back and forth before relocating it. Yet it wasn’t nearly as satisfying as she imagined. Causing this woman who hid her pain so well, to scream, to bite down on her lip in agony. After everything Juliet and her people did, Kate imagined revenge would have been sweeter. She should have learned, long ago, that revenge left bitterness staining your soul, and that the regret, the darkness, was simply not worth it. Hurting Juliet won’t bring Jack back. Just as killing her father didn’t bring healing or peace to her or her mother.
“What do you mean. About Jack. Tell me, Kate?” Sawyer asks finally. They all turn to her, questions in their eyes. But she has no words. Kate only shakes her head sadly.
At this silent confirmation that Jack is dead, their anger turns back to Juliet. Sawyer clenches his fist, ready to punch her. Sawyer and Sayid are going to beat her until she talks or drops dead. Which ever comes first. And in the mean time there’s fierce fire blazing all around, moving steadily closer, ready to consume whatever comes across its path without discrimination..
Kate catches Juliet’s eye.
“We need to get out of here,” Juliet says it to Kate-
“Shut up” Sawyer spits at her, “no one asked you.”
Juliet is right, Kate thinks to herself, but she doesn’t dare say that aloud.
The noise of an explosion from the other end of the compound causes them all to jump in shock..
“We need to go, there is nothing we can do for Jack.” Kate forces herself to say it, the words catch in her throat and she turns away from the others, hiding the tears in her eyes, turns away from the burning smouldering wreckage. From Jack. The thought of leaving Jack behind, alive or dead, tears her heart out, but it isn’t safe. Juliet is right. It’s time to go.
Sawyer places his hand on Kate’s shoulder, she pushes him away raising her voice louder, “We need to go. Now. “
Most of the others begin walking back along the trail after Sawyer and Sayid nod in agreement. But Kate waits for them, for Juliet, because she knows Juliet is the one with the answers, and she is not ready to let that go. And because her feet are somehow glued to the spot she’s standing and she doesn’t think she can move.
The men talk softly between themselves. From his back pack Sawyer pulls a rope and Kate realises with horror that he is going to tie Juliet to the tree and leave her there to burn.
“No”. Kate protests. Loudly. They look to her as if she was mad, completely insane. Juliet looks to her too a…strange softness in her eyes.
“Kate go with the others, you don’t need to see this. We’ll take care of it.” Sawyer orders her.
“No!”. she repeats. Forcefully.
“It’s nothing less than what she did to Jack.” Sawyer explains.
Kate wants to protest that it is cruel, inhumane, that they won’t stoop to the level of the Others. It would sound hypocritical coming from her, a convicted murderer. Instead Kate says something else, also true, and perhaps more convincing.
“She is the only one who knows…the things that happened in there. I need to know. I need answers. Juliet comes with us.”
The men exchange a troubled glance and finally give in. Kate is becoming almost hysterical in her insistence, and Sawyer doesn’t have it in him to resist her in such a state.
The expression on Juliet’s face doesn’t change. One minute the woman is tied to a tree left for dead, without fear, without pleading. Juliet didn’t ask for a thing. The next minute she is free, saved, all because of Kate, yet she is not grateful, not relieved, not anything. Just stone cold again. Any trace of softness in her eyes, gone.
Sayid pushes Juliet along the path. “Come.” Sawyer says to Kate, extending his hand to her, but she stands firmly cemented to the spot. As much as it makes sense to leave, to get the others to safety, as much as she knows there is no point in standing here letting herself burn to the ground, she just doesn’t have it in her to make her legs take her away from this place, to leave Jack behind as if he meant nothing. She shakes her head slightly without saying a word.
Sawyer knows better than to try to convince her to move, he can see that she just isn’t capable of physically walking away, can’t bring herself to do it. And he quickly sweeps her into his arms before she can protest, as if she was a little girl, and carries her along the path towards the beach.
~~~
Hours later Kate wakes in her tent, screaming. Sun rushes to her side, soothing her with comforting words. Kate pushes her aside, she needs to breathe, and hastily makes her way out of the tent.
The sun is almost setting, daylight fading across the ocean. A crisp chill in the air. Eerie silence hangs over the camp. Emptiness. The others are preparing dinner around the campfire.
Kate stands for a moment, staring into the flickering flames. And she remembers the intense heat, the thick smoke choking her, her hand burning against the metal handcuffs, Jack’s lifeless hand brushing against her own. It is too much.
She walks purposefully toward the fire, kicking angrily at the burning logs with her feet, pushing them into the sand to extinguish the flames. Charlie is behind her in an instant pulling her away, and someone, somewhere, brings a bucket of water, putting the fire out before Kate manages to catch her clothes alight.
They look to Kate, all of them. Concerned and confused. They look to her and Kate sees it in their eyes, sees their hopes and dreams for ‘Kate their leader’, for Kate to take over and keep things going now Jack is gone, all those hopes shatter in their weary eyes.
They look to her and see that Kate, their fearless leader, lost the plot.
After asking if she was ok, Charlie gently tells her that it’s going to be freezing tonight, people need to eat. Fire means survival when you are living in the open.
“No fire. “ She orders.
It is not because of her presence as a leader that they scatter in obedience to her command. It is merely the fact that they feel sorry for her, poor Kate, who lost the plot, lost Jack, they pity her. And so for one night, they allow her this moment of insanity, grant her request, and make their way to their tents, cold and hungry.
“Where are they?” Kate asks Charlie after the others are gone.
He looks confused
“Sawyer, Sayid … her?” Kate clarifies.
“Jack’s tent.” Charlie stumbles over the words. The thought of Juliet in Jack’s tent sickens Kate.
Kate turns to Charlie with a silent icy gaze that said ‘Don’t you dare follow me.’ and makes her way to Jack’s tent.
They are tying Juliet with ropes as Kate enters, binding her hands behind her back, it seems unnecessary considering Sayid and Sawyer took it upon themselves to be Juliet’s body guard. Where is she going to go, what is she going to do?
“You are going to pay for this.” Sawyer speaks harshly to Juliet.
“You should be thanking me.” Juliet responds. “I saved your girlfriends life, got Jack out of the way. She’s all yours now.” After the way Juliet endured Sayid’s earlier interrogation in silence, it is a shock to hear her speak at all. Even if it is a taunt at Sawyer. But as Juliet looks up and sees Kate in the doorway, her boldness vanishes. As if she didn’t want Kate to hear that comment.
“Her shoulder”, Kate reminds Sawyer as he binds her hands behind her back. Sawyer smirks and pulls harder against the ropes.
Juliet shoots Kate a look that says ‘Thanks a lot for opening your big fat mouth.’ Sayid just shakes his head, wondering why on earth Kate would care. And in truth, Kate isn’t sure why it bothers her so much, thinking of the pain Juliet is in. Why should she care? Is it just guilt because she’s the one who inadvertently yanked that arm out of its socket? She reminds herself again that while she remembers little about the fire and the week preceeding it, and could scarcely trust the memories she did have. Juliet is still one of them. And Kate has to believe, along with the others, that Juliet is somehow responsible for all of this.
It angers Kate, that bitter look from Juliet. She was trying to help, and it’s more than Juliet deserves. And now her own people are looking at her like she had way too much smoke on the brain for giving a second thought to Juliet’s shoulder. And Juliet for all of Kate’s efforts, is blaming Kate for their cruelty. When in reality, Juliet has no one to blame but herself, no one forced her into a life of ‘otherness’, kidnapping and tormenting innocent people, no one forced her into a burning building, Kate never asked her to save the day.
“I want to talk to her alone.” Kate announces.
The men exchange glances of hesitation
“What is she going to do? She is tied up.”
“We’ve been trying all afternoon, she isn’t going to say a word.” Sayid says.
“Leave us alone.” Kate insists.
And just the way the others scattered and put out the campfire against their better judgement, the men leave the tent.
Kate shakes her head as she hears Sawyer exclaim, “What the fuck happened to the fire?”. It almost makes her smile.
Then there is silence. Juliet sits on the ground, her arms and legs bound, and Kate stands towering over her
“Tell me. Everything”. Kate finally speaks.
“You were there Kate” Juliet reminds her.
“I don’t remember.” Kate confesses.
“Maybe that’s for the best.” Juliet suggests. “It’s a good thing you hit your head then.”
Kate can’t think of a reply. Burning inside her is endless anger and confusion and guilt and shame. Nothing makes sense. Juliet has the answers, and Kate tells herself that if she stands there and angrily demands the truth, Juliet might just give it to her. That causes her to hesitate. Because like Juliet said, maybe it is for the best to forget.
“You should take care of that.” Juliet says, her eyes on the deep laceration to the side of Kate’s head.
“Its fine, Sun put some herbal stuff on it.” Kate answers, wondering how the conversation took this direction, she has to get back on track, find her answers. The not knowing will kill her faster than the truth.
“It’s going to get infected if you don’t take proper care of it. “ Juliet warns.
“Well that’s a problem, Juliet, since you killed our Doc.” Kate accuses her icily. And she can scarcely believe the callous way she herself refers to Jack’s death, turning it into something to taunt Juliet with. It is disrespectful, and Kate hates herself for it.
Juliet doesn’t flinch at Kate’s words. “This is his tent, where does he keep his medical supplies? Maybe I can help.”
Kate shrugs. The last thing on her mind is her head, and she can’t fathom why it should matter to Juliet either.
“Untie me, I’ll help you.” Juliet tells her.
Kate laughs. “If you want me to untie you, you’ll have to do better than that!“
“I am a doctor.” Juliet reminds Kate.
“You think I’d trust you?”
“What choice do you have Kate?”
Kate knows she has plenty of choices. But for reasons she doesn’t understand, Kate unties the woman. After all, Sawyer and Sayid are just outside, where is Juliet going to go, what more can she possibly do?
Juliet strains her eyes in the diming light, looking through Jack’s box of assorted medications and first aid supplies. Finally she selects two pills from a bottle, and some sort of tube of cream. Juliet then sits cross legged on the floor in the far corner of the tent, where the light is brightest.
“Sit.” she tells Kate.
Kate shifts nervously from one foot to the other, looks over her shoulder at the tent flap wondering just what the hell what would happen if the boys came back in right at this moment in time, and finally sits herself opposite Juliet, allowing her to apply the cream to the gash on her head. It stings and Kate pulls away angrily.
“Sorry.” Juliet apologises.
“Sorry?” Kate repeats. “You’re sorry for that? “
Juliet doesn’t reply. When she’s finished she hands Kate the two pills. Kate holds them tentatively in the palm of her hand.
“Antibiotics.” Juliet explains. “The wound is deep, it’s bound to get infected out here.”
Kate looks at the pills, they could be anything. She shakes her head. “No way.” There’s no way she is swallowing those.
“You don’t trust me? “
“Should I?”
“Do you really even care, Kate?”
“Excuse me?”
“You almost kill me when I risk my own life entering a burning building to save you, almost get yourself killed to save a dead body. If Sawyer hadn’t picked you up in his arms tell me you wouldn’t have run back inside that compound looking for Jack. How much does your life really mean to you? Do you really even care if I poison you?”
Juliet may not be trying to poison her, but she is trying damn hard to confuse her. And succeeding. Why would she have gone into the building for Kate? Did Juliet know Jack was dead already? Was he really dead already? SO many questions. As she recalls her nightmare about Jack, Kate isn’t sure she really wants to know the answers. And in answer to Juliet’s question- No, right now she doesn’t care much if she takes strange pills and drops dead.
Having decided that she swallows them quickly.
Juliet reaches towards her wrist, and Kate shivers. Telling herself it was just from the cold because she was stupid enough to put the fire out. The skin had blistered from the handcuffs burning against her skin, but Juliet’s touch soothes the throbbing aching pain.
“I heard you screaming.” Juliet tells her.
“In the fire?” Kate asks, remembering how she tried so hard to scream for Jack. “You’d scream, too, trapped in a burning building. Or maybe you wouldn’t. “
Juliet ignores the insult. “No, not in the fire. Just before.”
Kate finds it unnerving the way Juliet looks her in the eye the way everyone else is afraid to. Without pity and without thinking she is crazy. It unnerves Kate the way Juliet boldly asks to be untied. It frightens her the way Juliet’s touch stops her heart beating, and that cold gaze of steel , the way she never screamed as Sayid tormented her, it is disturbing, it is wrong. Juliet isn’t human and she can’t be trusted. And Kate despises herself for sitting like this opposite this woman. It’s why she hardens her tone when she answers.
“I had a nightmare. Some of us have feelings. You know, when we see a man burn to death before our very eyes …”
Juliet is unperturbed. “Is that what you dreamt about? Jack?” Juliet asks, as if it is any of her business. The way Juliet seems to see into her soul, the way she is asking questions about Jack, coupled with Kate’s own fear at her feelings towards the woman, causes Kate to ignore the question, and angrily attack Juliet.
“What is wrong with you anyway? Jack never hurt you, Jack never hurt anyone. You and your people are barbaric, torturing, kidnapping, experiment on innocent people, you’re completely criminally insane. But you, you’re the worst, because you just don’t care. You killed Jack and you don’t care, you’re a cold blooded killer.”
“I’m a cold blooded killer?” Juliet asks in disbelief. “If that isn’t the pot calling the kettle black then I don’t know what is.” She answers calmly, while skilfully refraining from incriminating herself in Jack’s death.
“You don’t know anything about me!” Kate insists, angry beyond belief that Juliet would know anything about her past, much less throw it in her face.
“And you don’t know anything about me!” Juliet answers, angry now. And Kate finds it satisfying that she seems to have cracked Juliet’s cold lifeless veneer, that she found the woman does have some kind of feelings.
“I know all about you, Juliet. You’re dead already. Completely dead on the inside. You have no feelings, no remorse. How long do you think before someone snaps and kills you? It’s what you deserve, you killed Jack. I know you did. How did you know where to find us? How did you know he was dead already? Why wont you answer any of our questions? Because you’re guilty and you’re not even sorry. And now you’re here, surrounded by people who hate you, people who want you to suffer a long long time and die. And it doesn’t even touch you, you’re not even afraid, you don’t beg for your life, for your freedom. Because there is nothing living inside you Juliet. You’re not even a human being anymore.“