Mrs.Cuddlesworth
A fun l'il story I posted a few years back under a diff'rent name, and now I'm tossing it up again because I like it. :)
Title: Mrs.Cuddlesworth the Vampire Slayer
Summary: A tale of a past Slayer in the Buffyverse
Rating: PG
Notes: Originally written as a sort-of background story for something I was planning in The Buffybot Adventures, but not directly related to anything in that series. Any knowledge of that series of stories is not at all necessary for this bit of fluff. Approx.2400 words
Into every generation is born a Slayer...one girl in all the world with the strength to fight the demons, the vampires, and the forces of darkness.
So it has been for millennia. But in 1886, it all almost came crashing to a halt, in a story that will not be found in any Watcher’s diary. Indeed, from January to September of that year, the council of Watchers was in a high panic. The previous Slayer, an Afghani girl called Meena, had died in the line of her duty. The Watchers, as is their calling, set their resources once again to the search for her successor...the next Slayer to be called. They gathered their psychics, read the ancient scrolls, scoured the prophecies and runes.
And found nothing.
Days, weeks, months went by at the Council’s headquarters in London with no hint of a new Slayer called. The writings of Meena’s Watcher, Alexander Drake (killed by the same Djinnstorm that brought Meena down), were pored over. And when his diaries were examined, they found something most disturbing.
Months earlier, Meena had defeated the Mage of Rings, a vicious warlord who practiced the darkest arts for his own cruel gain. According to Drake’s account, there was a terrible battle that lasted hours. At the end, the Mage lay dying, his heart filled with rage for his enemy, the Slayer. He swore vengeance, and with his dying breath he cursed Meena. He swore by all the demons in all the Hells that the Slayer line would end with her. No more would a Slayer be called upon the former’’s death. He swore the world would be wiped clean of their unworthy, blasphemous race.
Drake recorded this all, but paid it little heed. He believed it to be the dying ravings of a madman.
The council, upon reading this tale, was no longer so sure.
It was a dark year for the Watchers, panic nearly causing a serious rift in the ranks, until, in late September, their hopes were delivered. Reports came in of a new Slayer, in Tibet. The psychics confirmed this, and the Watchers breathed a collective sigh of relief. In the end, business returned to normal, and it was assumed that the curse had only succeeded in delaying the succession, and nothing more.
This was NOT the case.
The truth was much stranger, and could have been found only a few miles from the Council headquarters, at the home of Albert Percy, a well-to-do businessman with a lovely wife and daughter. Around the same time as Meena the Vampire Slayer was being laid to rest by grateful villagers, away in London Mr and Mrs Percy were starting to notice some very unusual behaviour in their household. Their daughter Melinda had always been a very odd child, that was always understood, but something was different now. Strange things were afoot in the Percy household that summer, oh yes, and there was a strong suspicion that whatever it was, it could be traced back to Melinda...more specifically, her and her best friend, Mrs.Cuddlesworth. Oh, she would try and fool you with those pretty, sad eyes of hers, but the Percys knew something was amiss. Mrs.Cuddlesworth had always been so dependable, so quiet, so obedient.
Everything, they believed, a good dog should be. How were they to know, how could anyone in fact possibly understand? How could the Percys know about the curse of the Mage of Rings, a dreadful, hateful spell that didn’t quite have enough power behind it, despite its caster’s might, to stop the ancient line of Slayers? That it was only sufficient to...shall we say, BEND that line, just out of sight of those who might be looking for the next stop along the path? That forces beyond their thought and comprehension had turned their pedigree Bedlington terrier, for nearly nine strange, strange months, from a simple and loyal household pet into that scourge of the London supernatural underworld...
MRS.CUDDLESWORTH
The Vampire Slayer
It was late January when things started to change. Melinda and Mrs.Cuddlesworth were all jumbled together by the fire, Melinda resting on her best friend’s sleeping back as she often did. There was nothing Mrs.Cuddlesworth enjoyed more, Mister Percy often noted, than a jolly good nap by a roaring fire in Winter. She would lay there, blissful and reposed for hours on end.
Until that January, that is, when she started waking up every few minutes, barking angrily. Frightened the devil out of poor Melinda the first time, and Mrs. Percy thought for sure that a mouse had been scented.
It turned out not. Quite simply, Mrs.Cuddlesworth appeared to have developed a sudden sleep disorder which no one could understand. Constantly she would wake up barking, snarling at some dream-foe or other, though she would calm down almost instantly. The constant interruptions grated on Mister Percy’s nerves something awful.
“Damned fool thing,” he would say, puffing hastily on his pipe, “...a dog, having bad dreams? Whatever about?”
“I expect she’s chasing rabbits in her sleep,” Melinda offered helpfully, missing the mark rather delightfully broadly, “...yes. That’s it. Rabbits...or perhaps kittens. She DOES enjoy a good chase after a kittycat, you know. Such a lovely girl, my Mrs.Cuddlesworth. Perhaps I could tie a ribbon in her coat...””
*************
Melinda did indeed tie a ribbon, several in fact, into Mrs.Cuddlesworth’s coat. On more than one occasion. She had to, you see, because the ones she tied in never seemed to stay for more than a night. At least, after Mrs.Cuddlesworth started vanishing from the yard for hours on end.
Poor Melinda was at her wit’s end the first time it happened, and had her Father and Mother out combing the streets for some sight of her beloved pet. At last, near dawn, Mrs.Cuddlesworth came bounding up the front lane to the house, happy as you please, getting a big hug from Melinda.
“Oh, Mrs.Cuddlesworth, you gave me such a fright! Wherever did you get off to?”
Mrs.Percy, though also happy at the return of her daughter’s best friend, turned up her nose at the state of Mrs.Cuddlesworth’s coat. “Looks like she’s been romping in a quarry,” she noted distastefully, “...the poor thing’’s filthy with ashes!”
“Damned fool thing,” Mister Percy grumbled, tired from walking about all night, “...fancy a dog, taking off for a midnight stroll like that. Load of nonsense.”
“Perhaps she went to visit the Queen,” Melinda theorized, woefully inaccurately but charming nonetheless, “...I always said she was a very regal dog indeed. Yes. That must be it. Such a wonderful dog, you are Mrs.Cuddlesworth.”
Mrs.Cuddlesworth yipped playfully, licking her best friend’s face. Melinda laughed and hugged her some more, and told her never to run off like that again.
**************
Mrs.Cuddlesworth ran off again the next night. And every night she could manage after that, although she always came back by dawn, and despite their misgivings and worries, eventually the Percy family got used to the situation. Although Mister Percy never failed to make mention of what a damned fool thing these nocturnal wanderings were. Especially for a dog.
It was shortly after nightfall one evening in summer, Mrs.Cuddlesworth already disappeared for the night, when the Percys heard a ring at their front bell. Mrs.Percy was nearest, and walked to the door, wondering who would be ringing at this hour.
“Thomas? Thomas Lee? Why, it’s been years!”
The man at the door, who did indeed go by the name of Thomas Lee, smiled at Mrs.Percy. “Dora, you sweet thing. It’’s so good to see you again...I was in the area, and couldn’’t resist popping in on you two. May I come in?”
Dora Percy smiled gaily. “Of course! Goodness, Thomas, I haven’t laid eyes on you since our school days! What a delight.” Walking her guest inside, Dora shouted towards the study. “Albert! Guess who’s here?”
Mister Percy, too, was thrilled to see his old school chum Thomas again, shaking his hand eagerly. He was a little surprised at the strength in Thomas’ grip these days, and made a playful mention of it. Thomas laughed it off as his hosts led him to a seat in the study, then repaired to the kitchen to brew up a quick pot of tea. While in the kitchen, Mrs.Percy couldn’t help but worry aloud to her husband that Thomas must not be getting enough good summer sun. So much paler than she remembered him!
The tea was almost finished when the noises started echoing down the hallway. A terrible, angry barking, followed by some sort of roar, and a dreadful crash. Mister Percy blanched, racing out of the kitchen while Dora fumbled with the teapot, following him a moment later. When they reached the study, they couldn’t believe their eyes.
Thomas was gone, without a trace. Poor Mister Percy’s favourite old table was shattered, splintered every which way. And standing there in the middle of the ruin, one of the table legs gripped firmly in her jaws, was Mrs.Cuddlesworth, her coat still bristling with anger. The Percys stared in mute dismay for a moment as Melinda, roused from her bed by the commotion, came jumping down the stairs in her nightshirt.
“What’’s happened?” she asked, sleepiness banished from her voice, “...is Mrs.Cuddlesworth home already? Was she having bad dreams?”
“Bloody nightmares is more like it!” Mister Percy stepped forward, hands sternly on his hips as he surveyed the scene. Mrs.Cuddlesworth turned and sat politely, sharpened shard of table still solid in her teeth.
“I don’t understand...where has Thomas gotten to? Albert?”
Mister Percy harrumphed at his wife’s questions. “Likely ran for his life when he heard this one barking like that! Nearly made ME jump out of my skin, I’’ll tell you. And what’s she done to my table? It’’s ruined! Damned fool thing...”
Weaving past her parents, Melinda ran in and gave her best friend a big hug. “Oh, Mrs.Cuddlesworth, were you scared? Is that why you were barking? You poor dear! Did some horrible friend of Mummy and Daddy’s frighten you?”
Mister Percy blanched again. “Now, see here, young lady..!”
“Melinda, do get away from all that mess, you’’ll get splinters,” Mrs.Percy admonished, waving Melinda and Mrs.Cuddlesworth out of the study. As they approached her, she crinkled her nose. “And there’s more of those ashes! Honestly, Mrs.Cuddlesworth, what ARE you getting up to these days?”
Mrs.Cuddlesworth just wagged a satisfied tail as answer, and Mister Percy gave her a long, hard stare. Something was up with this damned fool dog, he suspected. And not at all a good thing.
************
The next day, over the protestations of his daughter, Mister Percy tied a good strong rope to Mrs.Cuddlesworth’s periwinkle collar, and drove a long wooden stake into the ground outside, attaching the other end of rope to it. As night fell, he clapped the sweat off his hands and looked triumphantly down at Mrs.Cuddlesworth, now fixed quite solidly to the family yard.
“No more damned fool ramblings about London for YOU, old girl,” he said with a grin, “...you just guard the homestead like a good dog. And mind the barking!”
With a final nod, Mister Percy patted Mrs.Cuddlesworth on her head and headed inside, closing the door behind him. Mrs.Cuddlesworth sniffed about, and took a few glances at her new rope.
A minute later she was gone, fled to the streets of London by a forceful calling that her doggie brain didn’t understand, but could hardly resist.
She took the stake with her, wagging her tail happily.
************
This continued for the rest of summer; Mister Percy trying his best to curb Mrs.Cuddlesworth’s odd new habits to no avail, Melinda experimenting with different varieties of ribbon to see if one would last more than a single night, and Poor Mrs.Percy continually sweeping up the ashes Mrs.Cuddlesworth would constantly track through the house. Until one day, September 23rd, 1886, when the sun rose on a chilly morning in London, and Melinda immediately noticed that something was terribly, terribly wrong.
Mrs.Cuddlesworth had not come home.
Melinda and her parents searched all that day, asking all the neighbours and passers-by they encountered for any news they might have, but had no success.
They would hear nothing of Mrs.Cuddlesworth until late that evening, when a bobby showed up at the door. Mister Percy opened the door, and found the dread in his heart quite a surprise. The dread was well earned.
Mrs.Cuddlesworth, the bobby told him with a sad tone, was dead.
*************
Her body had been found in an alley some miles away, bruised and bloodied. The poor thing must have gotten into a tussle with some larger dog, the bobby suspected, and the tag on her collar had led him back to the Percy’s. Mister Percy thanked him with a heavy heart for his pains, closing the door and wondering how he would ever break the news to Melinda.
Mrs.Cuddlesworth was, after all, her best friend. And he had been rather fond of her too.
For just a moment before he turned to the stairs to deliver the grim tidings, Albert Percy found a strange thought occurring to him...like an intuition, really.
It wasn’t another dog, he decided with odd certainty. And he didn’t know why he thought that, but he was sure of it. No regular mutt would be enough to do in his brave Mrs.Cuddlesworth, no thank you. There was something strange about that old girl, God rest her soul, stranger he now realized than he could well imagine. The thought actually comforted him, after driving him positively batty for months on end. But now, it felt right. He rather liked the notion that dear Mrs.Cuddlesworth might have gone out on...well, on a higher calling of some kind. Something important. That would be a fine way to go. Especially for a dog.
Mister Percy stopped, shaking his head in embarrassment at his thoughts. He was starting to think like Melinda, now. Damned fool thing, grown man thinking thoughts like that. Damned fool thing.
Mister Percy sighed, taking his first step upstairs. He already missed the barking.
THE END
Title: Mrs.Cuddlesworth the Vampire Slayer
Summary: A tale of a past Slayer in the Buffyverse
Rating: PG
Notes: Originally written as a sort-of background story for something I was planning in The Buffybot Adventures, but not directly related to anything in that series. Any knowledge of that series of stories is not at all necessary for this bit of fluff. Approx.2400 words
Into every generation is born a Slayer...one girl in all the world with the strength to fight the demons, the vampires, and the forces of darkness.
So it has been for millennia. But in 1886, it all almost came crashing to a halt, in a story that will not be found in any Watcher’s diary. Indeed, from January to September of that year, the council of Watchers was in a high panic. The previous Slayer, an Afghani girl called Meena, had died in the line of her duty. The Watchers, as is their calling, set their resources once again to the search for her successor...the next Slayer to be called. They gathered their psychics, read the ancient scrolls, scoured the prophecies and runes.
And found nothing.
Days, weeks, months went by at the Council’s headquarters in London with no hint of a new Slayer called. The writings of Meena’s Watcher, Alexander Drake (killed by the same Djinnstorm that brought Meena down), were pored over. And when his diaries were examined, they found something most disturbing.
Months earlier, Meena had defeated the Mage of Rings, a vicious warlord who practiced the darkest arts for his own cruel gain. According to Drake’s account, there was a terrible battle that lasted hours. At the end, the Mage lay dying, his heart filled with rage for his enemy, the Slayer. He swore vengeance, and with his dying breath he cursed Meena. He swore by all the demons in all the Hells that the Slayer line would end with her. No more would a Slayer be called upon the former’’s death. He swore the world would be wiped clean of their unworthy, blasphemous race.
Drake recorded this all, but paid it little heed. He believed it to be the dying ravings of a madman.
The council, upon reading this tale, was no longer so sure.
It was a dark year for the Watchers, panic nearly causing a serious rift in the ranks, until, in late September, their hopes were delivered. Reports came in of a new Slayer, in Tibet. The psychics confirmed this, and the Watchers breathed a collective sigh of relief. In the end, business returned to normal, and it was assumed that the curse had only succeeded in delaying the succession, and nothing more.
This was NOT the case.
The truth was much stranger, and could have been found only a few miles from the Council headquarters, at the home of Albert Percy, a well-to-do businessman with a lovely wife and daughter. Around the same time as Meena the Vampire Slayer was being laid to rest by grateful villagers, away in London Mr and Mrs Percy were starting to notice some very unusual behaviour in their household. Their daughter Melinda had always been a very odd child, that was always understood, but something was different now. Strange things were afoot in the Percy household that summer, oh yes, and there was a strong suspicion that whatever it was, it could be traced back to Melinda...more specifically, her and her best friend, Mrs.Cuddlesworth. Oh, she would try and fool you with those pretty, sad eyes of hers, but the Percys knew something was amiss. Mrs.Cuddlesworth had always been so dependable, so quiet, so obedient.
Everything, they believed, a good dog should be. How were they to know, how could anyone in fact possibly understand? How could the Percys know about the curse of the Mage of Rings, a dreadful, hateful spell that didn’t quite have enough power behind it, despite its caster’s might, to stop the ancient line of Slayers? That it was only sufficient to...shall we say, BEND that line, just out of sight of those who might be looking for the next stop along the path? That forces beyond their thought and comprehension had turned their pedigree Bedlington terrier, for nearly nine strange, strange months, from a simple and loyal household pet into that scourge of the London supernatural underworld...
MRS.CUDDLESWORTH
The Vampire Slayer
It was late January when things started to change. Melinda and Mrs.Cuddlesworth were all jumbled together by the fire, Melinda resting on her best friend’s sleeping back as she often did. There was nothing Mrs.Cuddlesworth enjoyed more, Mister Percy often noted, than a jolly good nap by a roaring fire in Winter. She would lay there, blissful and reposed for hours on end.
Until that January, that is, when she started waking up every few minutes, barking angrily. Frightened the devil out of poor Melinda the first time, and Mrs. Percy thought for sure that a mouse had been scented.
It turned out not. Quite simply, Mrs.Cuddlesworth appeared to have developed a sudden sleep disorder which no one could understand. Constantly she would wake up barking, snarling at some dream-foe or other, though she would calm down almost instantly. The constant interruptions grated on Mister Percy’s nerves something awful.
“Damned fool thing,” he would say, puffing hastily on his pipe, “...a dog, having bad dreams? Whatever about?”
“I expect she’s chasing rabbits in her sleep,” Melinda offered helpfully, missing the mark rather delightfully broadly, “...yes. That’s it. Rabbits...or perhaps kittens. She DOES enjoy a good chase after a kittycat, you know. Such a lovely girl, my Mrs.Cuddlesworth. Perhaps I could tie a ribbon in her coat...””
*************
Melinda did indeed tie a ribbon, several in fact, into Mrs.Cuddlesworth’s coat. On more than one occasion. She had to, you see, because the ones she tied in never seemed to stay for more than a night. At least, after Mrs.Cuddlesworth started vanishing from the yard for hours on end.
Poor Melinda was at her wit’s end the first time it happened, and had her Father and Mother out combing the streets for some sight of her beloved pet. At last, near dawn, Mrs.Cuddlesworth came bounding up the front lane to the house, happy as you please, getting a big hug from Melinda.
“Oh, Mrs.Cuddlesworth, you gave me such a fright! Wherever did you get off to?”
Mrs.Percy, though also happy at the return of her daughter’s best friend, turned up her nose at the state of Mrs.Cuddlesworth’s coat. “Looks like she’s been romping in a quarry,” she noted distastefully, “...the poor thing’’s filthy with ashes!”
“Damned fool thing,” Mister Percy grumbled, tired from walking about all night, “...fancy a dog, taking off for a midnight stroll like that. Load of nonsense.”
“Perhaps she went to visit the Queen,” Melinda theorized, woefully inaccurately but charming nonetheless, “...I always said she was a very regal dog indeed. Yes. That must be it. Such a wonderful dog, you are Mrs.Cuddlesworth.”
Mrs.Cuddlesworth yipped playfully, licking her best friend’s face. Melinda laughed and hugged her some more, and told her never to run off like that again.
**************
Mrs.Cuddlesworth ran off again the next night. And every night she could manage after that, although she always came back by dawn, and despite their misgivings and worries, eventually the Percy family got used to the situation. Although Mister Percy never failed to make mention of what a damned fool thing these nocturnal wanderings were. Especially for a dog.
It was shortly after nightfall one evening in summer, Mrs.Cuddlesworth already disappeared for the night, when the Percys heard a ring at their front bell. Mrs.Percy was nearest, and walked to the door, wondering who would be ringing at this hour.
“Thomas? Thomas Lee? Why, it’s been years!”
The man at the door, who did indeed go by the name of Thomas Lee, smiled at Mrs.Percy. “Dora, you sweet thing. It’’s so good to see you again...I was in the area, and couldn’’t resist popping in on you two. May I come in?”
Dora Percy smiled gaily. “Of course! Goodness, Thomas, I haven’t laid eyes on you since our school days! What a delight.” Walking her guest inside, Dora shouted towards the study. “Albert! Guess who’s here?”
Mister Percy, too, was thrilled to see his old school chum Thomas again, shaking his hand eagerly. He was a little surprised at the strength in Thomas’ grip these days, and made a playful mention of it. Thomas laughed it off as his hosts led him to a seat in the study, then repaired to the kitchen to brew up a quick pot of tea. While in the kitchen, Mrs.Percy couldn’t help but worry aloud to her husband that Thomas must not be getting enough good summer sun. So much paler than she remembered him!
The tea was almost finished when the noises started echoing down the hallway. A terrible, angry barking, followed by some sort of roar, and a dreadful crash. Mister Percy blanched, racing out of the kitchen while Dora fumbled with the teapot, following him a moment later. When they reached the study, they couldn’t believe their eyes.
Thomas was gone, without a trace. Poor Mister Percy’s favourite old table was shattered, splintered every which way. And standing there in the middle of the ruin, one of the table legs gripped firmly in her jaws, was Mrs.Cuddlesworth, her coat still bristling with anger. The Percys stared in mute dismay for a moment as Melinda, roused from her bed by the commotion, came jumping down the stairs in her nightshirt.
“What’’s happened?” she asked, sleepiness banished from her voice, “...is Mrs.Cuddlesworth home already? Was she having bad dreams?”
“Bloody nightmares is more like it!” Mister Percy stepped forward, hands sternly on his hips as he surveyed the scene. Mrs.Cuddlesworth turned and sat politely, sharpened shard of table still solid in her teeth.
“I don’t understand...where has Thomas gotten to? Albert?”
Mister Percy harrumphed at his wife’s questions. “Likely ran for his life when he heard this one barking like that! Nearly made ME jump out of my skin, I’’ll tell you. And what’s she done to my table? It’’s ruined! Damned fool thing...”
Weaving past her parents, Melinda ran in and gave her best friend a big hug. “Oh, Mrs.Cuddlesworth, were you scared? Is that why you were barking? You poor dear! Did some horrible friend of Mummy and Daddy’s frighten you?”
Mister Percy blanched again. “Now, see here, young lady..!”
“Melinda, do get away from all that mess, you’’ll get splinters,” Mrs.Percy admonished, waving Melinda and Mrs.Cuddlesworth out of the study. As they approached her, she crinkled her nose. “And there’s more of those ashes! Honestly, Mrs.Cuddlesworth, what ARE you getting up to these days?”
Mrs.Cuddlesworth just wagged a satisfied tail as answer, and Mister Percy gave her a long, hard stare. Something was up with this damned fool dog, he suspected. And not at all a good thing.
************
The next day, over the protestations of his daughter, Mister Percy tied a good strong rope to Mrs.Cuddlesworth’s periwinkle collar, and drove a long wooden stake into the ground outside, attaching the other end of rope to it. As night fell, he clapped the sweat off his hands and looked triumphantly down at Mrs.Cuddlesworth, now fixed quite solidly to the family yard.
“No more damned fool ramblings about London for YOU, old girl,” he said with a grin, “...you just guard the homestead like a good dog. And mind the barking!”
With a final nod, Mister Percy patted Mrs.Cuddlesworth on her head and headed inside, closing the door behind him. Mrs.Cuddlesworth sniffed about, and took a few glances at her new rope.
A minute later she was gone, fled to the streets of London by a forceful calling that her doggie brain didn’t understand, but could hardly resist.
She took the stake with her, wagging her tail happily.
************
This continued for the rest of summer; Mister Percy trying his best to curb Mrs.Cuddlesworth’s odd new habits to no avail, Melinda experimenting with different varieties of ribbon to see if one would last more than a single night, and Poor Mrs.Percy continually sweeping up the ashes Mrs.Cuddlesworth would constantly track through the house. Until one day, September 23rd, 1886, when the sun rose on a chilly morning in London, and Melinda immediately noticed that something was terribly, terribly wrong.
Mrs.Cuddlesworth had not come home.
Melinda and her parents searched all that day, asking all the neighbours and passers-by they encountered for any news they might have, but had no success.
They would hear nothing of Mrs.Cuddlesworth until late that evening, when a bobby showed up at the door. Mister Percy opened the door, and found the dread in his heart quite a surprise. The dread was well earned.
Mrs.Cuddlesworth, the bobby told him with a sad tone, was dead.
*************
Her body had been found in an alley some miles away, bruised and bloodied. The poor thing must have gotten into a tussle with some larger dog, the bobby suspected, and the tag on her collar had led him back to the Percy’s. Mister Percy thanked him with a heavy heart for his pains, closing the door and wondering how he would ever break the news to Melinda.
Mrs.Cuddlesworth was, after all, her best friend. And he had been rather fond of her too.
For just a moment before he turned to the stairs to deliver the grim tidings, Albert Percy found a strange thought occurring to him...like an intuition, really.
It wasn’t another dog, he decided with odd certainty. And he didn’t know why he thought that, but he was sure of it. No regular mutt would be enough to do in his brave Mrs.Cuddlesworth, no thank you. There was something strange about that old girl, God rest her soul, stranger he now realized than he could well imagine. The thought actually comforted him, after driving him positively batty for months on end. But now, it felt right. He rather liked the notion that dear Mrs.Cuddlesworth might have gone out on...well, on a higher calling of some kind. Something important. That would be a fine way to go. Especially for a dog.
Mister Percy stopped, shaking his head in embarrassment at his thoughts. He was starting to think like Melinda, now. Damned fool thing, grown man thinking thoughts like that. Damned fool thing.
Mister Percy sighed, taking his first step upstairs. He already missed the barking.
THE END