Watch me fangirl all over two other fic writers!
Okay, so my adoration for the fid_gin and unfolded73 collaboration trilogy in fid_gin 's Loved 'verse apparently knows NO bounds. None at all. I am so boundless in my love that I had to devote an entire post to fangirling all over them and basically having the e-babies of these three stories.
Before I begin, if you have not read them I urge you to run and not walk to the following links--just make sure you are aware that these stories are OH SO ADULT and contain glorious Ten-on-Ten slash. They're so much more than that, but I feel a warning is necessary. Go read them first so I can assume that I won't be spoiling anyone in my gushings below the cut.
Alone Time
Unspeakable
Feeling By Proxy
Let me just obsessively delineate the reasons why I am just gooey over these fics.
The Doctor in brown didn't look up from where he was writing in a leather-bound journal with that ridiculous quill. He leaned over to try and catch a peek at the swooping and looping Gallifreyan script, but the Doctor suddenly pulled the journal up close to his chest and looked up, scowling. "I don't know what you mean," he said, defensively.
The Doctor bristled at what had always been his standard answer whenever Rose had cast him that shifty look of hers and asked whether he'd been 'reading her mind'.
The Doctor's ability to be slightly psychic has always fascinated me. In the show, they only whip that out when it's convenient to the plot, and then mysteriously forget about it at other times. I also love what a complete and utter prick Brown Suit is being here. He's completely shut himself up emotionally, has a stick up his ass the size of a Louisville Slugger, and is just in general behaving towards Blue Suit as if he's a stranger. Which is just so insulting, but so Doctor.
He told her he never expected to survive.
"You make it sound like you're disappointed you lived," she said, and tentatively, he outstretched one hand to touch her face, waiting for her to flinch. It had been easy, he thought, for her to accept him as the Doctor when she had no choice. But now?
She leaned into his touch, just a bit, just enough, and his heart melted. "Oh no," he answered, his voice nearly a whisper. "Not disappointed at all."
This is the sound of my heart being ripped out and falling to the floor. OH ALT!TEN!
But here he was, a new creature and yet shackled with the all-consuming love for this woman, and sometimes it made him want to scream and smash things.
WAAAHHHHH!!!! Really I know I'm just flailing around at this point but come on. Is that not the saddest thing ever in the history of man?
It wasn't the most flattering acceptance of a come-on that he'd ever received, but he felt his heart rate increase anyway. There was something about being with this man who was him and yet so much more, this man who he remembered being, and the thought of all the times Rose had watched them do what they were about to engage in, moaning encouragement.
I. Love. This. Here's what I love: As much of a complete and utter prick that the Doctor can be, he's still the Doctor and it is still impossible to not love him. I have pretty much zero actual experience with the classic series, but in the new series Time Lords are always presented as having this...quality, this bizarre preternatural charisma. We don't get to meet too many of them, so the sample size is small, but think about it: Dr. Yana has his Chantho. The Master has Lucy. The Doctor has....like, everyone. John Smith has Joan Redfern, and his little student fanboy as well. Rose is utterly in love with the Doctor, and, well, so is the other Doctor. The thing is, the proper Doctor is the only being around who doesn't love him. He hates himself. But this other Doctor is a little bit head-over-heels for him, I think. As infuriating and assholish as he can be, you can't not be captivated by him. Even when he's you.
"Tell me," Rose repeated, reaching around and running the length of it up and down over his entrance.
"I want," and he groaned, bucking back against the first teasing pressure. "Please ... fuck me ... oh God, inside me, now."
The plastic was warm from her hands, slick with the lubricant she'd applied, and she slid it inside of him with such confidence he found himself wondering whether she'd done this before? With him? But pleasure stamped out any burgeoning jealousy, and he yowled as she hit him just right inside, fucking him in a slow rhythm with her hand while with the other she pushed his hips down, spreading for him. Inside of her, improbably fucked on both sides by Rose, he came embarrassingly fast.
Yeah, no deep thinky thoughts there, I just think that is unbearably hot. Good job, ladies. I know I demanded pegging, and pegging I did get! The backstory is that after I read Unspeakable I just could not get the idea out of my head of Ten II bottoming for Rose. It's mentioned just in passing in that fic, just like this off-hand comment, and yet I walked around with a smirk on my face for days after I read that. So, when asked my humble opinion about what should go on in the last part of the trilogy, I pretty much demanded to know how all that came about. God I'm glad I did. Phew.
"It's me that she'll likely tire of, as the two of you grow older, if you decide to have children-"
"What?"
"Don't pretend you've never thought of it, I know you have. So has she." He held up a hand to stop any further denials. "It'll happen someday, I'm resigned to that."
"Even if it did, it's not like they wouldn't be your children too."
"I suppose." He raked his hands through his hair. "More people for me to watch grow old and die."
The idea of that struck him with sudden force. "That will be worse than watching us die, won't it? Watching your children die. Again."
The other Doctor laughed without mirth. "You know me too well."
"Well, I am you, as you have so often said."
The Doctor in brown pinstripes shook his head. "You aren't, I was wrong." He reached out and touched the other man's cheek. "You're you."
I...seem to have something in my eye. God that is brutal. A total one-two punch of the Doctor watching his children die again and then his acceptance of Alt!Ten as his own person. Gaaaaahhhh!!!!
"You are the most unlikely creature in the whole of the universe. Part Time Lord, part human. A brilliant mind, and an open heart, and more passionate about life and fear and sex and longing than anyone I've ever known. Don't you see how amazing you are? You're you, Doctor." The other Doctor leaned over and kissed him on the forehead. "Forgive me for making you feel like anything less."
Tears welled in his eyes. "Please don't. Don't be so … so kind to me, I can't bear it."
"Why ever not?"
He almost choked on the answer. "Because a part of me still wants to take her away from you, have her all to myself."
"A part of me wants to let you. So that I don't have to watch you die. Watch your children, your grandchildren, die."
They sat in silence for a moment. "Well," the Doctor in blue said, his voice cracking, "we're a pair, aren't we?"
"Indeed. Two bodies, twice as many irresolvable issues."
~FLAILING SQUID ARMS~ I just have no words left at this point. I am an empty husk of a person. Doctor asking forgiveness? I am broken. Other Doctor admitting his jealousy? Gah. A little shared self-loathing? Jesus fuck, it's just gut-wrenching.
They led him to his own bedroom, began to undress him, and so much attention should have made him feel awkward; would have perhaps, before today. But he allowed it, allowed Rose to slowly slip buttons through buttonholes and allowed the Doctor in brown to reach around from behind and unfasten his trousers, slipping them over his erection and down. The dream-like quality of both of them circling him whispering encouragement and endearments, the odd conversation with the Doctor - he began to feel a little drunk. It was when the other Doctor, still dressed in his brown suit, went to his knees in front of him that he felt genuinely dizzy, like he was floating above it all and looking down. "What …?" he started to ask.
And Alt!Doc really truly finally gets his. Oh, Ten II. Oh, you. And hooray for Rose and proper Doctor doing this for him. And I love the dream-like quality of the prose here as well (I'm concentrating so much on the story and characterisation elements, but none of this would be even a quarter as effective if fid_gin and unfolded73 were not such fantastic artists). The image that is painted here is just beautiful, and hot, and I might need to take a cold shower. Too bad I'm at work.
The Doctor recognized the action a half second before he felt the cool fingers of the other hand on the side of his own face, gentle as he had been in the library. "Feel her," he heard him whisper just before the circuit was completed and the world fell away.
I really just wanted to quote like the entire last several paragraphs but I won't. I love a bit of telepathic!sex, but even more so, I love what the Doctor is giving Alt!Doc here, and I love that he's finally doing it, even though he's known for ages that the duplicate Doctor is unable to have a telepathic link any more and misses it. I love how it brings the story full circle, and it's just gorgeously written.
So, here's to you, you two. My admiration for you both: let me show you it. Oop, looks like I just did.
Before I begin, if you have not read them I urge you to run and not walk to the following links--just make sure you are aware that these stories are OH SO ADULT and contain glorious Ten-on-Ten slash. They're so much more than that, but I feel a warning is necessary. Go read them first so I can assume that I won't be spoiling anyone in my gushings below the cut.
Alone Time
Unspeakable
Feeling By Proxy
Let me just obsessively delineate the reasons why I am just gooey over these fics.
- Alt!Ten, Alt!Ten, Alt!Ten. Why oh why do I love him so? I just...gah. I may hate a lot about how Journey's End worked out, but one thing that came from that whole hot mess was Blue Suit Doc, who for some reason just does things to me. Do not get me wrong, the proper Doctor does some similar things, but something about Alt!Ten's complete lack of agency in his own creation just makes me want to take him home and squish him. And our two lovely authoresses here portray him as I tend to see him: not a bloodthirsty genocidal maniac as proper Ten would have us believe (foo on him, he's got such massive ulterior motives, you can not trust a word he says about his clone), but kind of innocent, lost, not quite sure who or what he is and how he fits in to the grand scheme of the universe.
- The whole Tencest scenario is all at once just illegally knickers-dampening and unspeakably sad--or at least has such enormous potential to be unspeakably sad. And in these stories both potentialities are investigated in full. The concept of an AU in which both Doctors stay together, with Rose, is just....sad, really, in the end. And really mostly sad for Brown Suit Doc because he absolutely hates himself, yet here he is, living in a world where he literally has to look himself in the eye constantly. And yet, as self-loathing as he is, he's also an utter narcisisst, and having this duplicate of himself around, it's got to just pull him in two directions at once.
- I'm a bit OCD and I love that we get a window in to this world from the POVs of the three characters respectively. Alone Time is from Rose's perspective (which is why we don't know how exactly the two Doctors got in to such a compromising position to begin with until the last story), Unspeakable is about Brown Suit's whole fucked up deal, and Feeling by Proxy is of course the one I was waiting with bated breath for because it explores Blue Suit Doc's feelings about the whole situation.
- I love the real serious darkness of a lot of Unspeakable and Alt!Ten finally asserting himself, and I'm a sucker for a wee bit of a hate-fuck, if I'm honest. And I just absolutely dig to China and back that these stories are so much more than just excuses for dirty dirty porn.
The Doctor in brown didn't look up from where he was writing in a leather-bound journal with that ridiculous quill. He leaned over to try and catch a peek at the swooping and looping Gallifreyan script, but the Doctor suddenly pulled the journal up close to his chest and looked up, scowling. "I don't know what you mean," he said, defensively.
The Doctor bristled at what had always been his standard answer whenever Rose had cast him that shifty look of hers and asked whether he'd been 'reading her mind'.
The Doctor's ability to be slightly psychic has always fascinated me. In the show, they only whip that out when it's convenient to the plot, and then mysteriously forget about it at other times. I also love what a complete and utter prick Brown Suit is being here. He's completely shut himself up emotionally, has a stick up his ass the size of a Louisville Slugger, and is just in general behaving towards Blue Suit as if he's a stranger. Which is just so insulting, but so Doctor.
He told her he never expected to survive.
"You make it sound like you're disappointed you lived," she said, and tentatively, he outstretched one hand to touch her face, waiting for her to flinch. It had been easy, he thought, for her to accept him as the Doctor when she had no choice. But now?
She leaned into his touch, just a bit, just enough, and his heart melted. "Oh no," he answered, his voice nearly a whisper. "Not disappointed at all."
This is the sound of my heart being ripped out and falling to the floor. OH ALT!TEN!
But here he was, a new creature and yet shackled with the all-consuming love for this woman, and sometimes it made him want to scream and smash things.
WAAAHHHHH!!!! Really I know I'm just flailing around at this point but come on. Is that not the saddest thing ever in the history of man?
It wasn't the most flattering acceptance of a come-on that he'd ever received, but he felt his heart rate increase anyway. There was something about being with this man who was him and yet so much more, this man who he remembered being, and the thought of all the times Rose had watched them do what they were about to engage in, moaning encouragement.
I. Love. This. Here's what I love: As much of a complete and utter prick that the Doctor can be, he's still the Doctor and it is still impossible to not love him. I have pretty much zero actual experience with the classic series, but in the new series Time Lords are always presented as having this...quality, this bizarre preternatural charisma. We don't get to meet too many of them, so the sample size is small, but think about it: Dr. Yana has his Chantho. The Master has Lucy. The Doctor has....like, everyone. John Smith has Joan Redfern, and his little student fanboy as well. Rose is utterly in love with the Doctor, and, well, so is the other Doctor. The thing is, the proper Doctor is the only being around who doesn't love him. He hates himself. But this other Doctor is a little bit head-over-heels for him, I think. As infuriating and assholish as he can be, you can't not be captivated by him. Even when he's you.
"Tell me," Rose repeated, reaching around and running the length of it up and down over his entrance.
"I want," and he groaned, bucking back against the first teasing pressure. "Please ... fuck me ... oh God, inside me, now."
The plastic was warm from her hands, slick with the lubricant she'd applied, and she slid it inside of him with such confidence he found himself wondering whether she'd done this before? With him? But pleasure stamped out any burgeoning jealousy, and he yowled as she hit him just right inside, fucking him in a slow rhythm with her hand while with the other she pushed his hips down, spreading for him. Inside of her, improbably fucked on both sides by Rose, he came embarrassingly fast.
Yeah, no deep thinky thoughts there, I just think that is unbearably hot. Good job, ladies. I know I demanded pegging, and pegging I did get! The backstory is that after I read Unspeakable I just could not get the idea out of my head of Ten II bottoming for Rose. It's mentioned just in passing in that fic, just like this off-hand comment, and yet I walked around with a smirk on my face for days after I read that. So, when asked my humble opinion about what should go on in the last part of the trilogy, I pretty much demanded to know how all that came about. God I'm glad I did. Phew.
"It's me that she'll likely tire of, as the two of you grow older, if you decide to have children-"
"What?"
"Don't pretend you've never thought of it, I know you have. So has she." He held up a hand to stop any further denials. "It'll happen someday, I'm resigned to that."
"Even if it did, it's not like they wouldn't be your children too."
"I suppose." He raked his hands through his hair. "More people for me to watch grow old and die."
The idea of that struck him with sudden force. "That will be worse than watching us die, won't it? Watching your children die. Again."
The other Doctor laughed without mirth. "You know me too well."
"Well, I am you, as you have so often said."
The Doctor in brown pinstripes shook his head. "You aren't, I was wrong." He reached out and touched the other man's cheek. "You're you."
I...seem to have something in my eye. God that is brutal. A total one-two punch of the Doctor watching his children die again and then his acceptance of Alt!Ten as his own person. Gaaaaahhhh!!!!
"You are the most unlikely creature in the whole of the universe. Part Time Lord, part human. A brilliant mind, and an open heart, and more passionate about life and fear and sex and longing than anyone I've ever known. Don't you see how amazing you are? You're you, Doctor." The other Doctor leaned over and kissed him on the forehead. "Forgive me for making you feel like anything less."
Tears welled in his eyes. "Please don't. Don't be so … so kind to me, I can't bear it."
"Why ever not?"
He almost choked on the answer. "Because a part of me still wants to take her away from you, have her all to myself."
"A part of me wants to let you. So that I don't have to watch you die. Watch your children, your grandchildren, die."
They sat in silence for a moment. "Well," the Doctor in blue said, his voice cracking, "we're a pair, aren't we?"
"Indeed. Two bodies, twice as many irresolvable issues."
~FLAILING SQUID ARMS~ I just have no words left at this point. I am an empty husk of a person. Doctor asking forgiveness? I am broken. Other Doctor admitting his jealousy? Gah. A little shared self-loathing? Jesus fuck, it's just gut-wrenching.
They led him to his own bedroom, began to undress him, and so much attention should have made him feel awkward; would have perhaps, before today. But he allowed it, allowed Rose to slowly slip buttons through buttonholes and allowed the Doctor in brown to reach around from behind and unfasten his trousers, slipping them over his erection and down. The dream-like quality of both of them circling him whispering encouragement and endearments, the odd conversation with the Doctor - he began to feel a little drunk. It was when the other Doctor, still dressed in his brown suit, went to his knees in front of him that he felt genuinely dizzy, like he was floating above it all and looking down. "What …?" he started to ask.
And Alt!Doc really truly finally gets his. Oh, Ten II. Oh, you. And hooray for Rose and proper Doctor doing this for him. And I love the dream-like quality of the prose here as well (I'm concentrating so much on the story and characterisation elements, but none of this would be even a quarter as effective if fid_gin and unfolded73 were not such fantastic artists). The image that is painted here is just beautiful, and hot, and I might need to take a cold shower. Too bad I'm at work.
The Doctor recognized the action a half second before he felt the cool fingers of the other hand on the side of his own face, gentle as he had been in the library. "Feel her," he heard him whisper just before the circuit was completed and the world fell away.
I really just wanted to quote like the entire last several paragraphs but I won't. I love a bit of telepathic!sex, but even more so, I love what the Doctor is giving Alt!Doc here, and I love that he's finally doing it, even though he's known for ages that the duplicate Doctor is unable to have a telepathic link any more and misses it. I love how it brings the story full circle, and it's just gorgeously written.
So, here's to you, you two. My admiration for you both: let me show you it. Oop, looks like I just did.