Fic: Lives Are For Living. (11/35)
Title Lives Are For Living. (11/35)
Fandoms Torchwood/Being Human crossover fic.
Characters/pairings Andy Davidson/Tom McNair. Other Torchwood and Being Human characters will appear later on.
Word count: This part 2700. (Total posted 21,900 /65,000)
Rating This part PG (adult over all)
Contains Mentions of depression/anxiety. Mentions of past canon major character death. Mention of minor character death - not canon. In later parts canon level violence, graphic sex, Andy's homophobic mother. Spoilers for Being Human (UK version) up to series 5 episode 3, and for Torchwood up to Children of Earth.
A/N: Crossover with Being Human. Technically a CoE fix it as it's set in the same 'verse as Finding Ways To Smile Again (although that isn't apparent until about 2/3 the way through the story). Follows on from Break and Breakaway from Tom McNair's POV - which is where it breaks from Being Human canon.
Summary
After being pushed out of the police force following the events of Children of Earth, Andy Davidson tries to build a new life for himself in the deep in the Welsh countryside.
Tom McNair walked out off his old life after realising it wasn't what he needed.
A chance meeting would take their lives in directions that they had never expected and bring them love that they'd not thought they'd find.
Starts here: http://the-silver-sun.livejournal.com/214504.html
Things were definitely looking up, Andy thought as he finished writing on the calendar. In just over two weeks he'd had have his very own solar panels and storage battery. The ten grand it had cost had been a sizeable chunk of his lump sum pay out, but it did mean that he'd not have to worry about lighting or power costs for years to come.
Looking out the living room window he could see Tom already hard at work on the old milking shed, stripping off the rusted metal roof. Tom confused him in the nicest possible ways. They spent most of their time together, working or talking or just sitting around, Tom reading or carving, since the shop had agree to buy ten more wooden animals from him, and himself reading or playing a game on his laptop now that they had the generator working reliably enough that he had somewhere to plug it into to charge.
Ever since the fight in Rhayader Tom had made a point of asking if there was anything he wanted, if he needed any help with anything, sought out his opinion on a variety of things and seemed genuinely interested in whatever he had to say. He'd wondered at first if Tom had been trying very subtly to flirt with him, but Tom didn't seem to do subtle in anything else. In fact he'd been nothing but open and painfully honest with him on just about everything apart from a few details about his past which Andy suspected he held back as they weren't entirely legal and were upsetting for him to remember. Honestly it had been a relief to have somebody like that around to remind him that not everybody was talking about him behind his back.
Andy was still looking out the window wondering if he was totally miss reading the situation with Tom when his phone rang. Reluctantly he turned away from the window, hoping it wasn't the solar panel fitters trying to sell him a load of expensive extras or a customer service survey follow up call or them trying to sell him optional extras, he picked up his mobile. “Andy Davidson speaking.”
“Hiya, how are things going?”
“Gwen?” Andy didn't bother trying to hide his surprise. Not that he wasn't happy to hear from her, but since joining Torchwood Gwen really didn't do social calls. “Things are going okay. Better than they had been in ages really. Has something happened?”
“I’m fine. So are Rhys and Ceri.”
He could hear the ‘but’ in her voice and wondered if the ‘I know it’s all going to hell, but I’m still putting a brave face on it’ smile was there too. He hoped not, they'd all had too much to put up with lately. “Something has happened though, hasn't it?” he asked, feeling his good mood slipping away, nerves starting to claw at him.
There was a pause and then Gwen said, “You remember the Nikki and Jonah Bevan case, don’t you?”
Andy took shaky breath. Trying to convince himself and Gwen that he really wasn't starting to freak out about what she was going to say, he was rather pleased with himself when he managed a rather jokey,“I’m hardly likely to forget. You left me looking like a right tit at the dock, going off in the boat like that, you know.”
“Sorry about that, I didn't want you to get mixed up in it. Not before I knew what was out there. The things I seen...” she trailed off.
“So what's happened?” Andy asked, hating how much Torchwood had taken from her, what it did to everybody who got too close. Certain now that it wasn't good news, he added, “They found him didn't they?”
After this length of time there was almost no chance Jonah would have been found alive. The circumstances of his disappearance had meant that an accident was highly unlikely. The chances where that Cardiff CID would now be gearing up for a murder investigation. He’d been one of the original investigating officers and he'd spent a good bit of his own off duty time helping Nikki Bevan organise her missing persons support group. They’d definitely want to talk to him, ask him why he’d failed. He sat down feeling lightheaded and sick. He couldn’t do it. Couldn’t face Nikki Bevan and know he’d failed her.
“Andy? Are you still there?”
“Yes,” he said weakly, fighting the urge to just switch off the phone. Had Gwen said anything else? He wasn't sure. “They've finally found him then?” he asked hoping he wasn't asking something she'd just told him.
“They've not found him. I mean Nikki had known where he was since just after I went out to Flat Holm. There a place out there, sort of like a hospital I suppose, for people who've seen things...Torchwood things.”
“So why are you telling me this now?” It's more hurt and angry than he intended it to be, as he knew that Gwen would only have called him if she'd thought it was the right thing to do.
“Don't be like that, I just didn't want you hearing it on the news or oh I don't know somewhere, and thinking I didn't care enough to tell you. So I thought I should do it, that I should be the one to tell you.”
Andy swallowed hard. Gwen sounded upset and that was never a good sign. “It's bad isn't it?”
“They’re dead,” Gwen said quietly. “I had to go and identify them this morning.”
“Them? Jonah and who…oh hell.” There was a rushing noise in his ears Andy knew he was missing most of what Gwen was saying. Cliff and accident filtered though, but little else.
“…cleared it so they won’t contact you. I didn't know you were still off until I asked if they'd told you. Seems like ages since I last saw you, when are you going to be back in Cardiff?”
“I’m not,” Andy said faintly, glad he was sitting down. “I sold my flat. I left. I'm not coming back.”
“You've transferred?” Gwen asked, surprised. “I hope it's somewhere nice and they've not pushed you out to some back office pushing paper.”
“I've left the police. I had the choice between taking medical retirement or facing prosecution, what do you think I picked?” Andy said, the helpless anger that he felt at the time he found not having eased in the long months since. Even if the thought of putting on his uniform had, by the end of his service, made him come out in cold sweat, he'd still wished that leaving been his choice and on his terms, not something he'd been bullied and pushed into it.
“Bloody hell, I had no idea. Why didn't you call me? I would have set them straight. You were a good copper, you cared about people, you were one of the best of us. Do you want me to see if I can get them to reconsider?” Gwen said, sounding determined. “Torchwood’s got a bit of leverage again now. Apparently the Queen - the actual Queen, Andy, had a word with them, the government, privately like. She didn't take too kindly to them blowing up crown property apparently.”
“Don’t ask. Please don’t ask them.” Andy closed his eyes, palms slick with sweat, starting to shake. “I couldn't tell you then, you only just had a baby. But I can’t go back there. Not back to everybody talking about me behind my back, waiting for me freak out and cock it all up again. Gwen, just please leave it alone.”
“Hey, slow down a minute, you sound awful. Are you going to be alright?” Gwen sounding really worried for him. “Do you want me to come over? I can drop Ceri at my mam’s…Just tell me where you're living now.”
“No, don't.” He wanted nothing more than to retreat somewhere nobody could see him or could talk to him and where he didn't have to worry about what anyone thought about him doing that. “I’ll be alright. I’ve got to go. I’m getting some solar panels delivered soon.” It’s a lie, but two weeks is close enough that it doesn’t feel like too much of one given the circumstances.
Gwen didn't sound that convinced and asked, “Have you got anybody there with you? I wish I hadn't told you any of this now. You really don't sound like you should be on your own at the minute.”
“I'm not, there's Tom. He’s working with me to fix up the place. I'll be alright.” He nodded, trying to convince himself that it was the truth. “Really, I'll be alright, it was just a bit of shock. I really like her.”
“Well if you’re sure,” Gwen said sounding less than happy with it. “Look, can I call you back later, we could catch up about other stuff. I'd be nice to talk again.”
She was lonely, he could tell, mixing having a young baby, a husband who spent much of the time driving long distance lorries and a job a isolating as Torchwood had to be hard. But as much as he wanted to help her didn't feel able to deal with anybody else's problems at the moment, even if they were a friend. “I can't, I'm going out. I'll call you sometime, in a few days maybe. Bye.”
Ending the call before Gwen could say anything else, he sat at the table staring blankly at the phone. Why had he said he'd call? He didn't want to. He didn't want to do anything or talk to anyone. The mobile bleeped with an incoming text and he glared at it, willing it to go away, to leave him alone. The phone beeped again, insistent to be answered, and he picked it up, holding it for a moment before throwing it as hard as he could at the wall.
He couldn't really have picked a worse time as just as the phone shattered, Tom walked in. He looked at the bits of broken mobile and said, “I take it the call to them solar power blokes didn't go right good then?”
“What! No, that went okay, it's all good,” Andy said distractedly, hoping that Tom would believe it and leave him alone.
“Yer shaking again,” Tom said sounding worried as he moved closer. “This ain't about the fight is it? I ain't in trouble am I?”
Gripping the edge of the table until his knuckles turned white, Andy said, “No, nothing like that. It was just...er, just someone I used to know. Someone from my old job. They'd just solved an case we'd worked. I'm fine really.”
“But that's good news ain't it?” Tom put a hand on his shoulder. “So why are yer so upset? It ain't 'cause it's to do with why you left is it?”
“I didn't leave,” Andy said bitterly. What was it with people not wanting to leave him alone today? “They pushed me out. Not mentally fit for the role, a danger to my colleagues and the public apparently.”
“That's rubbish. You're alright?” Tom gave his shoulder a squeeze. “You seem alright to me.”
Andy closed his eyes. He couldn't let himself take any comfort now or he was going break. What he needed, he told himself, was to be left alone until he didn't feel like running out the door and never stopping. “Just leave it, you wouldn't understand.”
“I won't if you don't tell me, will I?” Tom said, kindly. “So why don't you give it a try. I might even be able to help.”
“I said leave it! I've not pestered you about your weird life, have I?” Andy snapped, pushing Tom's hand from his shoulder. “I only hired you because I felt sorry for you.”
The look of hurt and confusion in Tom's eyes made him think of the sad-eyed, abandoned puppies that the RSPCA used for their 'A dog is for life' ads. He'd wanted Tom give him some space, but he'd gone too far. “Tom, I didn't...”
“Yes, yer did.” Tom turned away and headed for the door. “I'll be out in the barn if you need me. Or I can jus' go if yer want.”
“Of course I don't.”
“Not while you can still use me, right?” Tom opened the door. “Yer jus' like the rest,” he said, sounding more hurt and disappointed than angry, before slamming the door shut behind him.
“Tom, I'm sorry,” Andy said quietly to the now empty room. Then, dispensing with any pretence of holding it together, he buried his head in his hands and wept.
x0x0x0x
The whole atmosphere on the farm had changed after that, and while Tom had stayed and worked without complaint, it had also been without conversation unless it was of the ‘what needs to be done now’ variety. He didn't seem to be angry, he was still polite to him, but there wasn’t anything else any more, Andy thought as he watched him work, and it hurt. He’d driven a wedge between them and ruined whatever it was that had been slowly developing, whether it had been friendship or maybe the beginnings of something more, because he was a colossal fuck up and somebody nobody in their right mind would want to be friends with.
Objectively he knew that it wasn't true, once he'd had a lot of friends, people he went to the pub with or the rugby, people who invited to him to house warming parties and weddings. Were they really? The treacherous thought followed with wearying regularity. They dropped you soon enough when they realised that you weren't any use to them, that you were too odd, that you weren't any use to anybody any more. No, he'd only been their friend when he'd been good old Andy who'd volunteer to cover the crappiest shifts because he wanted to be nice to them, as soon as he wasn't able to then they all turned their backs.
There was nothing left in his life apart from renovating the farm, Andy thought bitterly as set to work on removing more of the copper from milking shed, and even that held little appeal now. Something that had felt so promising, like he was building a better future when Tom was speaking to him now felt like a life sapping chore. Once it was fixed up, he told himself, he'd sell it and leave. He didn't know or care where, he just needed to get away from the site of another one of his failures.
Jamming the bar into the gap between the pipe and the wall, Andy tried to copy what Tom was doing at the far end of the milking shed. When pulling the bar towards himself failed to have any affect, and determined not to be beaten by a lump of metal, he moved round to the other side of the now wedged pry bar and tried pushing it away from himself instead.
There was a creak and for a single, horrible moment Andy thought that perhaps he was about to bring the entire wall tumbling down on top of himself, then a piece of the stonework shattered. The pipe however remained in place and the pry bar sprung back out of his hands. There was no time to avoid it and it hit him hard across the bottom of his chest. With a gasp Andy staggered back, pain radiating out from where it had struck.
Stumbling over to where they'd let a pile of sacks of sand and cement a few days earlier, his legs feeling wobbly with fright, Andy sat down heavily and tired to breathe. It hurt to sit upright so Andy leant forwards, trying to take shallow breaths as that seemed to be less painful, but far worse at lessening the spiralling panic fast over taking him.
“What you done now?” Tom asked, failing entirely not to look like he was worried as hell, as he hurried over to him. Crouching down in front of Andy, he said, “You're walking disaster area you.”
Wrapping an arm around him aching ribs, Andy let his head fall against Tom's shoulder. “I don't know, but it really hurts.
Part 12 http://the-silver-sun.livejournal.com/220065.html
NOTES.
I hope that this didn't appear to be anti Gwen because she gave Andy the bad news. This wasn't my intention. She wasn't trying to be horrible to him and she really does care about him. She didn't know how bad it had been for him as he'd not told her and she'd not been in a situation where she'd have found out.
As this doesn't fit with Miracle Day in any way I decided to give Gwen's daughter a different name to show that.
Fandoms Torchwood/Being Human crossover fic.
Characters/pairings Andy Davidson/Tom McNair. Other Torchwood and Being Human characters will appear later on.
Word count: This part 2700. (Total posted 21,900 /65,000)
Rating This part PG (adult over all)
Contains Mentions of depression/anxiety. Mentions of past canon major character death. Mention of minor character death - not canon. In later parts canon level violence, graphic sex, Andy's homophobic mother. Spoilers for Being Human (UK version) up to series 5 episode 3, and for Torchwood up to Children of Earth.
A/N: Crossover with Being Human. Technically a CoE fix it as it's set in the same 'verse as Finding Ways To Smile Again (although that isn't apparent until about 2/3 the way through the story). Follows on from Break and Breakaway from Tom McNair's POV - which is where it breaks from Being Human canon.
Summary
After being pushed out of the police force following the events of Children of Earth, Andy Davidson tries to build a new life for himself in the deep in the Welsh countryside.
Tom McNair walked out off his old life after realising it wasn't what he needed.
A chance meeting would take their lives in directions that they had never expected and bring them love that they'd not thought they'd find.
Starts here: http://the-silver-sun.livejournal.com/214504.html
Things were definitely looking up, Andy thought as he finished writing on the calendar. In just over two weeks he'd had have his very own solar panels and storage battery. The ten grand it had cost had been a sizeable chunk of his lump sum pay out, but it did mean that he'd not have to worry about lighting or power costs for years to come.
Looking out the living room window he could see Tom already hard at work on the old milking shed, stripping off the rusted metal roof. Tom confused him in the nicest possible ways. They spent most of their time together, working or talking or just sitting around, Tom reading or carving, since the shop had agree to buy ten more wooden animals from him, and himself reading or playing a game on his laptop now that they had the generator working reliably enough that he had somewhere to plug it into to charge.
Ever since the fight in Rhayader Tom had made a point of asking if there was anything he wanted, if he needed any help with anything, sought out his opinion on a variety of things and seemed genuinely interested in whatever he had to say. He'd wondered at first if Tom had been trying very subtly to flirt with him, but Tom didn't seem to do subtle in anything else. In fact he'd been nothing but open and painfully honest with him on just about everything apart from a few details about his past which Andy suspected he held back as they weren't entirely legal and were upsetting for him to remember. Honestly it had been a relief to have somebody like that around to remind him that not everybody was talking about him behind his back.
Andy was still looking out the window wondering if he was totally miss reading the situation with Tom when his phone rang. Reluctantly he turned away from the window, hoping it wasn't the solar panel fitters trying to sell him a load of expensive extras or a customer service survey follow up call or them trying to sell him optional extras, he picked up his mobile. “Andy Davidson speaking.”
“Hiya, how are things going?”
“Gwen?” Andy didn't bother trying to hide his surprise. Not that he wasn't happy to hear from her, but since joining Torchwood Gwen really didn't do social calls. “Things are going okay. Better than they had been in ages really. Has something happened?”
“I’m fine. So are Rhys and Ceri.”
He could hear the ‘but’ in her voice and wondered if the ‘I know it’s all going to hell, but I’m still putting a brave face on it’ smile was there too. He hoped not, they'd all had too much to put up with lately. “Something has happened though, hasn't it?” he asked, feeling his good mood slipping away, nerves starting to claw at him.
There was a pause and then Gwen said, “You remember the Nikki and Jonah Bevan case, don’t you?”
Andy took shaky breath. Trying to convince himself and Gwen that he really wasn't starting to freak out about what she was going to say, he was rather pleased with himself when he managed a rather jokey,“I’m hardly likely to forget. You left me looking like a right tit at the dock, going off in the boat like that, you know.”
“Sorry about that, I didn't want you to get mixed up in it. Not before I knew what was out there. The things I seen...” she trailed off.
“So what's happened?” Andy asked, hating how much Torchwood had taken from her, what it did to everybody who got too close. Certain now that it wasn't good news, he added, “They found him didn't they?”
After this length of time there was almost no chance Jonah would have been found alive. The circumstances of his disappearance had meant that an accident was highly unlikely. The chances where that Cardiff CID would now be gearing up for a murder investigation. He’d been one of the original investigating officers and he'd spent a good bit of his own off duty time helping Nikki Bevan organise her missing persons support group. They’d definitely want to talk to him, ask him why he’d failed. He sat down feeling lightheaded and sick. He couldn’t do it. Couldn’t face Nikki Bevan and know he’d failed her.
“Andy? Are you still there?”
“Yes,” he said weakly, fighting the urge to just switch off the phone. Had Gwen said anything else? He wasn't sure. “They've finally found him then?” he asked hoping he wasn't asking something she'd just told him.
“They've not found him. I mean Nikki had known where he was since just after I went out to Flat Holm. There a place out there, sort of like a hospital I suppose, for people who've seen things...Torchwood things.”
“So why are you telling me this now?” It's more hurt and angry than he intended it to be, as he knew that Gwen would only have called him if she'd thought it was the right thing to do.
“Don't be like that, I just didn't want you hearing it on the news or oh I don't know somewhere, and thinking I didn't care enough to tell you. So I thought I should do it, that I should be the one to tell you.”
Andy swallowed hard. Gwen sounded upset and that was never a good sign. “It's bad isn't it?”
“They’re dead,” Gwen said quietly. “I had to go and identify them this morning.”
“Them? Jonah and who…oh hell.” There was a rushing noise in his ears Andy knew he was missing most of what Gwen was saying. Cliff and accident filtered though, but little else.
“…cleared it so they won’t contact you. I didn't know you were still off until I asked if they'd told you. Seems like ages since I last saw you, when are you going to be back in Cardiff?”
“I’m not,” Andy said faintly, glad he was sitting down. “I sold my flat. I left. I'm not coming back.”
“You've transferred?” Gwen asked, surprised. “I hope it's somewhere nice and they've not pushed you out to some back office pushing paper.”
“I've left the police. I had the choice between taking medical retirement or facing prosecution, what do you think I picked?” Andy said, the helpless anger that he felt at the time he found not having eased in the long months since. Even if the thought of putting on his uniform had, by the end of his service, made him come out in cold sweat, he'd still wished that leaving been his choice and on his terms, not something he'd been bullied and pushed into it.
“Bloody hell, I had no idea. Why didn't you call me? I would have set them straight. You were a good copper, you cared about people, you were one of the best of us. Do you want me to see if I can get them to reconsider?” Gwen said, sounding determined. “Torchwood’s got a bit of leverage again now. Apparently the Queen - the actual Queen, Andy, had a word with them, the government, privately like. She didn't take too kindly to them blowing up crown property apparently.”
“Don’t ask. Please don’t ask them.” Andy closed his eyes, palms slick with sweat, starting to shake. “I couldn't tell you then, you only just had a baby. But I can’t go back there. Not back to everybody talking about me behind my back, waiting for me freak out and cock it all up again. Gwen, just please leave it alone.”
“Hey, slow down a minute, you sound awful. Are you going to be alright?” Gwen sounding really worried for him. “Do you want me to come over? I can drop Ceri at my mam’s…Just tell me where you're living now.”
“No, don't.” He wanted nothing more than to retreat somewhere nobody could see him or could talk to him and where he didn't have to worry about what anyone thought about him doing that. “I’ll be alright. I’ve got to go. I’m getting some solar panels delivered soon.” It’s a lie, but two weeks is close enough that it doesn’t feel like too much of one given the circumstances.
Gwen didn't sound that convinced and asked, “Have you got anybody there with you? I wish I hadn't told you any of this now. You really don't sound like you should be on your own at the minute.”
“I'm not, there's Tom. He’s working with me to fix up the place. I'll be alright.” He nodded, trying to convince himself that it was the truth. “Really, I'll be alright, it was just a bit of shock. I really like her.”
“Well if you’re sure,” Gwen said sounding less than happy with it. “Look, can I call you back later, we could catch up about other stuff. I'd be nice to talk again.”
She was lonely, he could tell, mixing having a young baby, a husband who spent much of the time driving long distance lorries and a job a isolating as Torchwood had to be hard. But as much as he wanted to help her didn't feel able to deal with anybody else's problems at the moment, even if they were a friend. “I can't, I'm going out. I'll call you sometime, in a few days maybe. Bye.”
Ending the call before Gwen could say anything else, he sat at the table staring blankly at the phone. Why had he said he'd call? He didn't want to. He didn't want to do anything or talk to anyone. The mobile bleeped with an incoming text and he glared at it, willing it to go away, to leave him alone. The phone beeped again, insistent to be answered, and he picked it up, holding it for a moment before throwing it as hard as he could at the wall.
He couldn't really have picked a worse time as just as the phone shattered, Tom walked in. He looked at the bits of broken mobile and said, “I take it the call to them solar power blokes didn't go right good then?”
“What! No, that went okay, it's all good,” Andy said distractedly, hoping that Tom would believe it and leave him alone.
“Yer shaking again,” Tom said sounding worried as he moved closer. “This ain't about the fight is it? I ain't in trouble am I?”
Gripping the edge of the table until his knuckles turned white, Andy said, “No, nothing like that. It was just...er, just someone I used to know. Someone from my old job. They'd just solved an case we'd worked. I'm fine really.”
“But that's good news ain't it?” Tom put a hand on his shoulder. “So why are yer so upset? It ain't 'cause it's to do with why you left is it?”
“I didn't leave,” Andy said bitterly. What was it with people not wanting to leave him alone today? “They pushed me out. Not mentally fit for the role, a danger to my colleagues and the public apparently.”
“That's rubbish. You're alright?” Tom gave his shoulder a squeeze. “You seem alright to me.”
Andy closed his eyes. He couldn't let himself take any comfort now or he was going break. What he needed, he told himself, was to be left alone until he didn't feel like running out the door and never stopping. “Just leave it, you wouldn't understand.”
“I won't if you don't tell me, will I?” Tom said, kindly. “So why don't you give it a try. I might even be able to help.”
“I said leave it! I've not pestered you about your weird life, have I?” Andy snapped, pushing Tom's hand from his shoulder. “I only hired you because I felt sorry for you.”
The look of hurt and confusion in Tom's eyes made him think of the sad-eyed, abandoned puppies that the RSPCA used for their 'A dog is for life' ads. He'd wanted Tom give him some space, but he'd gone too far. “Tom, I didn't...”
“Yes, yer did.” Tom turned away and headed for the door. “I'll be out in the barn if you need me. Or I can jus' go if yer want.”
“Of course I don't.”
“Not while you can still use me, right?” Tom opened the door. “Yer jus' like the rest,” he said, sounding more hurt and disappointed than angry, before slamming the door shut behind him.
“Tom, I'm sorry,” Andy said quietly to the now empty room. Then, dispensing with any pretence of holding it together, he buried his head in his hands and wept.
x0x0x0x
The whole atmosphere on the farm had changed after that, and while Tom had stayed and worked without complaint, it had also been without conversation unless it was of the ‘what needs to be done now’ variety. He didn't seem to be angry, he was still polite to him, but there wasn’t anything else any more, Andy thought as he watched him work, and it hurt. He’d driven a wedge between them and ruined whatever it was that had been slowly developing, whether it had been friendship or maybe the beginnings of something more, because he was a colossal fuck up and somebody nobody in their right mind would want to be friends with.
Objectively he knew that it wasn't true, once he'd had a lot of friends, people he went to the pub with or the rugby, people who invited to him to house warming parties and weddings. Were they really? The treacherous thought followed with wearying regularity. They dropped you soon enough when they realised that you weren't any use to them, that you were too odd, that you weren't any use to anybody any more. No, he'd only been their friend when he'd been good old Andy who'd volunteer to cover the crappiest shifts because he wanted to be nice to them, as soon as he wasn't able to then they all turned their backs.
There was nothing left in his life apart from renovating the farm, Andy thought bitterly as set to work on removing more of the copper from milking shed, and even that held little appeal now. Something that had felt so promising, like he was building a better future when Tom was speaking to him now felt like a life sapping chore. Once it was fixed up, he told himself, he'd sell it and leave. He didn't know or care where, he just needed to get away from the site of another one of his failures.
Jamming the bar into the gap between the pipe and the wall, Andy tried to copy what Tom was doing at the far end of the milking shed. When pulling the bar towards himself failed to have any affect, and determined not to be beaten by a lump of metal, he moved round to the other side of the now wedged pry bar and tried pushing it away from himself instead.
There was a creak and for a single, horrible moment Andy thought that perhaps he was about to bring the entire wall tumbling down on top of himself, then a piece of the stonework shattered. The pipe however remained in place and the pry bar sprung back out of his hands. There was no time to avoid it and it hit him hard across the bottom of his chest. With a gasp Andy staggered back, pain radiating out from where it had struck.
Stumbling over to where they'd let a pile of sacks of sand and cement a few days earlier, his legs feeling wobbly with fright, Andy sat down heavily and tired to breathe. It hurt to sit upright so Andy leant forwards, trying to take shallow breaths as that seemed to be less painful, but far worse at lessening the spiralling panic fast over taking him.
“What you done now?” Tom asked, failing entirely not to look like he was worried as hell, as he hurried over to him. Crouching down in front of Andy, he said, “You're walking disaster area you.”
Wrapping an arm around him aching ribs, Andy let his head fall against Tom's shoulder. “I don't know, but it really hurts.
Part 12 http://the-silver-sun.livejournal.com/220065.html
NOTES.
I hope that this didn't appear to be anti Gwen because she gave Andy the bad news. This wasn't my intention. She wasn't trying to be horrible to him and she really does care about him. She didn't know how bad it had been for him as he'd not told her and she'd not been in a situation where she'd have found out.
As this doesn't fit with Miracle Day in any way I decided to give Gwen's daughter a different name to show that.