Past Imperfect (5/7)
Title: Past Imperfect. (5/7)
Pairing/Characters: Jack/Ianto, team.
Rating: R
Warnings: Non-graphic memories of torture/interrogation. Torture/Interrogation scene in later chapter. (No sexual elements to torture.)
Summary: Waking up injured and with no memory of the past few days is only the start of Jack's problems as part of his forgotten past comes back to haunt him.
A/N: Set during in series two after Meat but before Adam. Apologies for the delay in getting this posted, RL stuff happening big time. I've not abandoned this fic, and I hope to post the last part in the next couple of weeks. I'm not entirely happy with all of this part, but I'm not sure what else could be done with it. I'm not posting this bit to comms, I'll wait until the last part is ready then post links to the completed fic.
Story starts here.
Part five:
“You’re in no position to be asking questions Captain Harkness.” A third eyelid blinks feline like across the man's dark yellow eyes. “That is the name you are using now, is it not?”
“Yes.” Jack licks dry lips, his head pounding.
“Well Captain.” The man walks around the chair that Jack is tied to. “Either you can tell me voluntarily what you did with the Crown Prince of Narvar Cygnis Prime, or I can make you tell me. Now which will it be?” His tone is pleasant, even conversational, and is completely at odds with the coldness in his eyes and smile.
Jack stares at his captor, the name means absolutely nothing to him. “Who?”
“You can't fool or con me, Captain.” He opens a metal case on a table that is set just out of reach of the chair. “I know you were there. You were seen, you took the boy. I just want to know what you did with him.”
“Nothing.” Sick fear coils in Jack's stomach. “I'm sorry if you lost him, if he mattered to you, but I don't know what you're talking about.”
“Matter? Personally I don't care if Prince Gaetra is dead or alive. This is just business.” He gets a syringe out of the case and then a bottle. “However, I have a reputation to uphold. I find people, information, and I'm good at it. The best.”
“I doubt that.”
“This should help loosen your tongue.” The ropes binding Jack's arms to the chair are tight, and he can't move as the needle breaks the skin. “I’ll be back in a few minutes,”
Dizzy, the drugs rapidly starting to take effect, Jack closes his eyes, head slumping forward.
Opening his eyes again, Jack sees the dim orange glow of the street light outside filtering in through the bedroom curtains. Naked, Ianto sleeps sprawled beside him, snoring quietly, the corners of his mouth occasionally twitching into a smile.
A dream. Jack rubs a hand across his eyes. No, he corrects himself, not a dream, a memory.
After staring up at the darkened ceiling, minutes slowly ticking by, Jack decides that going back to sleep isn't going to happen, and he gets out of bed. Not bothering to get dressed, Jack slips out of the bedroom without waking Ianto. Walking through the flat Jack picks up the notepad and pen that's next to the phone, before sitting down at the small table in Ianto's kitchen.
Jack is writing down the details of the memory, a precaution against forgetting it again, when Ianto, walks in.
“Bad dream?” Ianto asks, making sure that Jack has realised that he's there before slipping his arms around Jack's shoulders.
“Not exactly.” Jack leans back against Ianto. “I'm starting to remember what happened.”
“Anything useful?” Ianto asks, sounding as concerned as he does hopeful.
“I don't know.” It's the truth, as while Jack now knows the reason why he was taken, he can't remember, or perhaps never knew, the person they wanted information about. Even the name of the planet hadn't been familiar.
“Do you think you'll remember anything else?” Ianto runs his hands down Jack's arms.
Jack sighs. He doesn't know, as all he's remembered so far raises more questions than it answers. “I hope so.”
Silence stretches out between them, until Ianto asks,“Are you going back to the Hub?” Although by the tone of his voice it's clear that he doesn't want Jack to leave.
“Not tonight.”
Ianto kisses side of Jack's neck. “In that case, lets go back to bed.”
* * *
“Because I'm not telling them,” Jack says to Ianto as they walk into the Hub, the cog door rolling shut behind them.
“And I still think you should,” Ianto insists. “At least tell Owen, let him make sure the mind probe didn't do any damage. We don't exactly have a good track record with it, do we?”
“I said no,” Jack snaps, feeling irritable despite the fact that he'd managed to get more sleep after going back to bed with Ianto. The problem is that no more memories have resurfaced, and Jack wonders if the little he has remembered is all that he's going to get; he hopes it's not. “I'm in charge here, and it's not up for debate.”
“All right.” Ianto doesn't look or sound happy about it. Turning away he says,“I'll go make us coffee then, sir.”
Sir. Ianto never calls him sir these days, unless it's as a part of one of their shared fantasies, or he's annoyed with him but doesn't want it to be immediately obvious to anybody who might be listening.
Jack is still standing by the door looking at Ianto, and wondering why Ianto is so annoyed with him and how he can fix it, when Tosh notices him.
“Jack! I think you'd better come and see this.”
“What you got for me?” Jack says enthusiastically, hurrying over to her, glad to have a distraction.
“The detection system is lighting up.” Tosh pulls up an overlay of the energy spikes onto a map of Cardiff on her screen. The readings, complete with times, are scattered in an arc across the northern edge of Cardiff.
“It's not random.” She points to locations where the teleporter has been used. “It's missing a few points, probably those locations are being covered by the other teleportation device, the one without there faulty shielding, but it's definitely following a search pattern.”
Tosh presses a few more keys and the map zooms out to show south Wales, then another overlay appears on the screen, this time detailing a spiral search pattern. “The centre of the search is focused on the Bay, but it's spiralling inward from the outskirts of Cardiff.”
“They're looking for me.” Jack's eyes stay fixed on the screen, unable to look away. The search pattern is efficient given that there are probably only three individuals involved; the two men in jump suits and the man with the alien eyes that he'd remembered in his dream.
“I'm sorry, Jack,” Tosh says, changing the view on screen back to just Cardiff. “I suppose I'd started to hope that they'd gone. That they'd decided to leave you alone.”
“Don't be. They're going to be the ones who're sorry when I catch up with them,” Jack says, already working out the best way to intercept the men searching for him.
Looking around the Hub, Jack sees Owen and Gwen who are talking to Ianto who's just started making coffee. “That's going to have to wait.”
“This better be important,” Owen grumbles.
Gwen gives Ianto a questioning look, which Ianto replies to with worried expression and a shake of his head.
As soon as they are all around Tosh's workstation, Jack says, “Toshiko I need you to coordinate from here, try to predict their next location. I want to know where they're going to be before they do.” Jack turns to Gwen. “You're with me, We'll head out to Roath. Owen, Ianto, get over to Blackweir. From there we should be able to intercept them wherever they show up.”
Then, without waiting to see if his team have heard him or even agree with his plan, Jack hurries down to the SUV, eager to be on his way now that finally he's going to get some answers.
* * *
“It's allowed to bother you, you know,” Gwen says, as she gets into the front of SUV beside Jack.
“What?” Jack says distractedly. Revving the engine, he drives the SUV out of the garage, emerging onto the street with a blare of the horn to warn traffic to get out of his way.
“What happened to you.” Gwen quickly fastens her seatbelt as the vehicle lurches as it clips the edge of the pavement.
“It doesn't,” Jack says quickly, hoping that Gwen will let it drop.
“Right,” Gwen says, clearly sounding like she doesn't believes him.
There's not time for any further conversation as they weave their way in and out of the traffic, the roads still busy at the tail end of morning rush hour.
They've almost reached Roath when Tosh's voice comes over the SUV's comm link. “They've teleported again. They're near the northern end of Albany Road. If they keep to their pattern you've got about ten minutes until they teleport again.”
Breaking hard, and wrenching the steering wheel round, Jack pushes the SUV in to a sharp turn.
The sun dazzles off the rain wet road, and Jack blinks.
He's sitting in a chair, hands bound behind his back. Breathing hurts, and he fancies he can hear the creak of a broken rib as he drags air into his aching lungs. Sweat trickles down his face, the salt stinging his split lip.
In front of him, the device his interrogator holds crackles with electricity.
The handcuffs hurt his wrists as he struggles, although it's nothing compared sharp pain the movement sends through his injured ribs. But even that fades into insignificance as the device is held against him, and he screams.
“Bloody hell, Jack!”
Jack opens his eyes to see Gwen grab the steering wheel, just in time to stop them ploughing into the back of a bus.
Jack slams on the breaks, his legs feeling like rubber, as he brings the SUV to an abrupt halt in the middle of the street amidst the smell and sound of tyres being pushed to their limits. As soon as it has stopped Jack gets out as fast as he can, his hands, slick with cold sweat, slipping across the door handle.
Heart pounding, the memory of pain still fresh in his mind, Jack leans forward. Bracing his hands on against his knees, Jack drags in a slow, deep breath, trying to calm himself.
“Jack?” Getting out of the SUV Gwen hurries round to him. “Jack, what's wrong?”
“Nothing.” Jack closes his eyes, trying to block out the still vivid feelings of helplessness, and the lingering memory of pain.
“You screamed and nearly drove us into the back of a bus,” Gwen says sounding shaken. “How's that nothing?” She puts a hand on his arm. “You're shaking.”
Jack doesn't reply, knowing that denying it would be pointless, but he grips his legs a little tighter hoping that it will make his hands look steadier. He can't even think of an appropriate quip to lighten the mood either; there's just nothing funny about nearly getting a friend hurt or worse.
Gwen looks around at the traffic jam starting to build up behind them, the cars unable to get past the SUV in the narrow street. “We've got to move.”
“Yeah.” Jack stands up slowly, still feeling a little disorientated. He knows he's wasted too much time, that the chances of them finding the men at the teleportation location gets slimmer with every minute that they delay.
Jack is about to get back into the drivers seat when Gwen puts her arm across the door. “Oh no, I'm driving,” Gwen says, her tone letting Jack know that arguing isn't going to have any chance of changing her mind. “I'd like to get back in one piece.”
“All right.” It's frustrating, but Jack knows that Gwen is right; if he drives right now there's every chance that they'll end up round a lamppost or in the back of car. Jack nods, then, keeping a hand against the SUV makes his way round to the front passenger seat.
Getting in, Jack doesn't say anything else until Gwen turns the SUV left at the end of the street. “Last time I looked Albany Road was in the other direction.”
“It is.” Gwen keeps her eyes on the road as she switches the SUV's handsfree on. “Owen, it's Gwen, we're heading back to the Hub. Could you meet us there?”
“You got them then?” Owen asks. Then says quieter, as he's speaking to Ianto rather than into the phone, “See, I told you you're driving too slow. We should have taken my car.”
“No. We nearly crashed,” Gwen tells him, before adding quickly, “We're all right though. Well I am, I think there's something wrong with Jack.”
Leaning over Jack switches off the handsfree. “What are you doing?”
“Trying to stop this before it gets out of hand.”
“Out of hand?” Jack asks, incredulous.
“Yes, out of hand.” Gwen stops the SUV at the traffic lights at the end of the street. “We can't just go charging in without a plan, Rhys getting shot made me realise that. Jack, if we keep doing this then one day we're going to go running in and we're not all going to come again.”
“Sometimes we have to,” Jack says wearily, hating the fact that in the end, however it happens, it will be his fault; it's the price of being in charge.
“But not this time,” Gwen says firmly. “We don't know what they're armed with, or if they'll try to kill anyone who tries to stop them.”
“Can't die, remember,” Jack says, managing to make it sound almost cheerful, despite still feeling shaken from the flashback. The fact that now all he can think of is how there are so many things worse than dying isn't helping.
“That's not the point, if you go charging after them and freeze up again they could just take you away,” Gwen says sounding more worried at the prospect of losing Jack than she had been when they'd nearly crashed. “All they need to do is grab hold of you, and teleport off. We might never see you again.”
Jack shudders. It's involuntary, the feeling of helplessness rushing back. He remembers little about how he'd got away, but it's enough to know that it had been been dumb luck, just one of the many narrow escapes that he's pulled off over the years. It's certainly no guarantee that if he is captured again that he'll be able to manage it a second time.
“Jack?” Gwen asks, concerned. “Are you sure you're all right?”
“Yeah,” Jack says, glad that Gwen's looking at the road rather than him; he's not entirely sure he'd manage to convince her otherwise. “Lets get back to the Hub, pick up what we need and get back out here.”
“Okay.” Gwen doesn't sound like she is completely convinced, but doesn't push the matter further. Contacting Owen again, she says, “Hey, we just lost reception for a minute, nothing to worry about. We're on our way back, see you in soon.”
Jack's hands have stopped shaking by the time they arrive back at the Hub, and the fear and helplessness he'd felt have shifted into anger. Anger at those who had taken him, anger at allowing himself it be so effected by a memory, anger at not being catch them and end this, and even anger at his team for taking control of the situation away from him. None of it is help by the fact that just before they had reached the Hub Tosh had contacted them to say that latest teleport location had broken out of the search pattern, and that she was unable now to predict the next location with any degree of accuracy.
Ianto and Owen are both waiting in the garage when they get out of the SUV.
“I'm fine,” Jack says irritably, before they can ask him anything, and walks over to the steps which lead up to the Hub. “Now lets get to work.”
The metal stair rail is cold under his hand.
Cold. So cold. They've taken his clothes, hosed him down with freezing water. The concrete floor he's lying on feels like ice, but he can't get up, his hands are cuffed behind his back. They're trying to break him, get him to confess. Confess? Confess what? Nothing makes sense. Everything hurts. Alone, forgotten, abandoned. Maybe it's punishment, maybe he deserves this for all the times he's failed, that he's going to fail. Hot tears filled with pain, frustration and loss well up, obscuring the bare room.
“Jack?”
Blinking, Jack looks up through tear blurred eyes at Owen's surprised face. “What happened?” Jack asks, hating that his voice isn't entirely steady.
“You just froze on the stairs, then fell over.” Owen pushes a hand down against Jack's chest as he tries to sit up. “Not to fast.”
“That's what happened in the SUV,” Gwen says, worried. “That how we nearly crashed.”
“It was nothing,” Jack snaps, hating everything about his current situation. He can't help but think that if he hadn't been so stupid as to use the mind probe nothing would have happened in the SUV, they would have caught the men who had taken him by now and he'd be getting answers out of them.
“I'm sorry, Jack, but they need to know,” Ianto says, not sounding happy about what he's about to do. Turning to Owen he says, “He used the mind probe on himself last night to try to find out what had happen.”
Jack glares at Ianto, but says nothing, knowing that if the situation were reversed he do exactly the same. Pushing Owen's hand aside, Jack gets up, glad that this flashback isn't as disorientating as the one in the SUV had been.
“Jack,” Gwen begins.
“This is not up for discussion,” Jack says, determined not to have to explain or justify his actions. Not waiting for a reply, he leaves the garage and head up to his office.
Once in his office, Jack closes the door behind him, and sits down at his desk. It's only a temporary reprieve from the questions that his team will have; they've already followed him back up into the Hub.
Nearby, Jack can hear Owen and Ianto talking.
“I'm just saying, the other day he freaked out and punched you, then he used a bit of tech that had made an alien heads explode, and now he's nearly crashed the SUV.”
“He's just got a lot on his mind,” Ianto replies, defensively.
“I know that,” Owen says sounding frustrated. “But if he ends up accidentally killing one of us it's not going to make him feel any better, is it?”
Sighing, Jack leans back in his chair and closes his eyes. Owen is right, and Jack knows that if any of them were to die because of him, he'd never forgive himself. It's hard enough knowing that every time he sends them out it could be the last time, and that chances are one day it really will be. It's their job though, and they know and accept the risks, but this, him putting them in unnecessary danger, shouldn't be part of it.
There's only one thing he can do, Jack decides; let somebody else be in charge until he gets it together again. It's not an easy decision, stepping back and letting others lead is something that Jack knows he's never been good at; he's too independent and has been let down too many times for that ever to be the case.
They'd managed without him when he'd been away, and if he's honest, they actually work better now as a team because of it. It doesn't make telling them that he's taking some time off any easier though.
He's about to leave the office and tell them when Ianto knocks on the door, then not waiting for a reply opens it. “There are reports coming in of a couple of weevils causing problems over by the new flats in Pontcanna,” Ianto says, sounding like he's been volunteered by the rest of then to speak to him. “What do you want to do?”
“You, Owen and Gwen can handle it,” Jack says, deciding he can always tell them later. “I've got work I can do here.”
None of them look happy about it, but don't question him.
Once they have gone Jack opens the file containing the CCTV footage of his abduction, and sets on a loop on the screen in front of him, Jack hopes that it will be enough to bring the remaining missing memories to the surface.
“Part Six.”
Pairing/Characters: Jack/Ianto, team.
Rating: R
Warnings: Non-graphic memories of torture/interrogation. Torture/Interrogation scene in later chapter. (No sexual elements to torture.)
Summary: Waking up injured and with no memory of the past few days is only the start of Jack's problems as part of his forgotten past comes back to haunt him.
A/N: Set during in series two after Meat but before Adam. Apologies for the delay in getting this posted, RL stuff happening big time. I've not abandoned this fic, and I hope to post the last part in the next couple of weeks. I'm not entirely happy with all of this part, but I'm not sure what else could be done with it. I'm not posting this bit to comms, I'll wait until the last part is ready then post links to the completed fic.
Story starts here.
Part five:
“You’re in no position to be asking questions Captain Harkness.” A third eyelid blinks feline like across the man's dark yellow eyes. “That is the name you are using now, is it not?”
“Yes.” Jack licks dry lips, his head pounding.
“Well Captain.” The man walks around the chair that Jack is tied to. “Either you can tell me voluntarily what you did with the Crown Prince of Narvar Cygnis Prime, or I can make you tell me. Now which will it be?” His tone is pleasant, even conversational, and is completely at odds with the coldness in his eyes and smile.
Jack stares at his captor, the name means absolutely nothing to him. “Who?”
“You can't fool or con me, Captain.” He opens a metal case on a table that is set just out of reach of the chair. “I know you were there. You were seen, you took the boy. I just want to know what you did with him.”
“Nothing.” Sick fear coils in Jack's stomach. “I'm sorry if you lost him, if he mattered to you, but I don't know what you're talking about.”
“Matter? Personally I don't care if Prince Gaetra is dead or alive. This is just business.” He gets a syringe out of the case and then a bottle. “However, I have a reputation to uphold. I find people, information, and I'm good at it. The best.”
“I doubt that.”
“This should help loosen your tongue.” The ropes binding Jack's arms to the chair are tight, and he can't move as the needle breaks the skin. “I’ll be back in a few minutes,”
Dizzy, the drugs rapidly starting to take effect, Jack closes his eyes, head slumping forward.
Opening his eyes again, Jack sees the dim orange glow of the street light outside filtering in through the bedroom curtains. Naked, Ianto sleeps sprawled beside him, snoring quietly, the corners of his mouth occasionally twitching into a smile.
A dream. Jack rubs a hand across his eyes. No, he corrects himself, not a dream, a memory.
After staring up at the darkened ceiling, minutes slowly ticking by, Jack decides that going back to sleep isn't going to happen, and he gets out of bed. Not bothering to get dressed, Jack slips out of the bedroom without waking Ianto. Walking through the flat Jack picks up the notepad and pen that's next to the phone, before sitting down at the small table in Ianto's kitchen.
Jack is writing down the details of the memory, a precaution against forgetting it again, when Ianto, walks in.
“Bad dream?” Ianto asks, making sure that Jack has realised that he's there before slipping his arms around Jack's shoulders.
“Not exactly.” Jack leans back against Ianto. “I'm starting to remember what happened.”
“Anything useful?” Ianto asks, sounding as concerned as he does hopeful.
“I don't know.” It's the truth, as while Jack now knows the reason why he was taken, he can't remember, or perhaps never knew, the person they wanted information about. Even the name of the planet hadn't been familiar.
“Do you think you'll remember anything else?” Ianto runs his hands down Jack's arms.
Jack sighs. He doesn't know, as all he's remembered so far raises more questions than it answers. “I hope so.”
Silence stretches out between them, until Ianto asks,“Are you going back to the Hub?” Although by the tone of his voice it's clear that he doesn't want Jack to leave.
“Not tonight.”
Ianto kisses side of Jack's neck. “In that case, lets go back to bed.”
* * *
“Because I'm not telling them,” Jack says to Ianto as they walk into the Hub, the cog door rolling shut behind them.
“And I still think you should,” Ianto insists. “At least tell Owen, let him make sure the mind probe didn't do any damage. We don't exactly have a good track record with it, do we?”
“I said no,” Jack snaps, feeling irritable despite the fact that he'd managed to get more sleep after going back to bed with Ianto. The problem is that no more memories have resurfaced, and Jack wonders if the little he has remembered is all that he's going to get; he hopes it's not. “I'm in charge here, and it's not up for debate.”
“All right.” Ianto doesn't look or sound happy about it. Turning away he says,“I'll go make us coffee then, sir.”
Sir. Ianto never calls him sir these days, unless it's as a part of one of their shared fantasies, or he's annoyed with him but doesn't want it to be immediately obvious to anybody who might be listening.
Jack is still standing by the door looking at Ianto, and wondering why Ianto is so annoyed with him and how he can fix it, when Tosh notices him.
“Jack! I think you'd better come and see this.”
“What you got for me?” Jack says enthusiastically, hurrying over to her, glad to have a distraction.
“The detection system is lighting up.” Tosh pulls up an overlay of the energy spikes onto a map of Cardiff on her screen. The readings, complete with times, are scattered in an arc across the northern edge of Cardiff.
“It's not random.” She points to locations where the teleporter has been used. “It's missing a few points, probably those locations are being covered by the other teleportation device, the one without there faulty shielding, but it's definitely following a search pattern.”
Tosh presses a few more keys and the map zooms out to show south Wales, then another overlay appears on the screen, this time detailing a spiral search pattern. “The centre of the search is focused on the Bay, but it's spiralling inward from the outskirts of Cardiff.”
“They're looking for me.” Jack's eyes stay fixed on the screen, unable to look away. The search pattern is efficient given that there are probably only three individuals involved; the two men in jump suits and the man with the alien eyes that he'd remembered in his dream.
“I'm sorry, Jack,” Tosh says, changing the view on screen back to just Cardiff. “I suppose I'd started to hope that they'd gone. That they'd decided to leave you alone.”
“Don't be. They're going to be the ones who're sorry when I catch up with them,” Jack says, already working out the best way to intercept the men searching for him.
Looking around the Hub, Jack sees Owen and Gwen who are talking to Ianto who's just started making coffee. “That's going to have to wait.”
“This better be important,” Owen grumbles.
Gwen gives Ianto a questioning look, which Ianto replies to with worried expression and a shake of his head.
As soon as they are all around Tosh's workstation, Jack says, “Toshiko I need you to coordinate from here, try to predict their next location. I want to know where they're going to be before they do.” Jack turns to Gwen. “You're with me, We'll head out to Roath. Owen, Ianto, get over to Blackweir. From there we should be able to intercept them wherever they show up.”
Then, without waiting to see if his team have heard him or even agree with his plan, Jack hurries down to the SUV, eager to be on his way now that finally he's going to get some answers.
* * *
“It's allowed to bother you, you know,” Gwen says, as she gets into the front of SUV beside Jack.
“What?” Jack says distractedly. Revving the engine, he drives the SUV out of the garage, emerging onto the street with a blare of the horn to warn traffic to get out of his way.
“What happened to you.” Gwen quickly fastens her seatbelt as the vehicle lurches as it clips the edge of the pavement.
“It doesn't,” Jack says quickly, hoping that Gwen will let it drop.
“Right,” Gwen says, clearly sounding like she doesn't believes him.
There's not time for any further conversation as they weave their way in and out of the traffic, the roads still busy at the tail end of morning rush hour.
They've almost reached Roath when Tosh's voice comes over the SUV's comm link. “They've teleported again. They're near the northern end of Albany Road. If they keep to their pattern you've got about ten minutes until they teleport again.”
Breaking hard, and wrenching the steering wheel round, Jack pushes the SUV in to a sharp turn.
The sun dazzles off the rain wet road, and Jack blinks.
He's sitting in a chair, hands bound behind his back. Breathing hurts, and he fancies he can hear the creak of a broken rib as he drags air into his aching lungs. Sweat trickles down his face, the salt stinging his split lip.
In front of him, the device his interrogator holds crackles with electricity.
The handcuffs hurt his wrists as he struggles, although it's nothing compared sharp pain the movement sends through his injured ribs. But even that fades into insignificance as the device is held against him, and he screams.
“Bloody hell, Jack!”
Jack opens his eyes to see Gwen grab the steering wheel, just in time to stop them ploughing into the back of a bus.
Jack slams on the breaks, his legs feeling like rubber, as he brings the SUV to an abrupt halt in the middle of the street amidst the smell and sound of tyres being pushed to their limits. As soon as it has stopped Jack gets out as fast as he can, his hands, slick with cold sweat, slipping across the door handle.
Heart pounding, the memory of pain still fresh in his mind, Jack leans forward. Bracing his hands on against his knees, Jack drags in a slow, deep breath, trying to calm himself.
“Jack?” Getting out of the SUV Gwen hurries round to him. “Jack, what's wrong?”
“Nothing.” Jack closes his eyes, trying to block out the still vivid feelings of helplessness, and the lingering memory of pain.
“You screamed and nearly drove us into the back of a bus,” Gwen says sounding shaken. “How's that nothing?” She puts a hand on his arm. “You're shaking.”
Jack doesn't reply, knowing that denying it would be pointless, but he grips his legs a little tighter hoping that it will make his hands look steadier. He can't even think of an appropriate quip to lighten the mood either; there's just nothing funny about nearly getting a friend hurt or worse.
Gwen looks around at the traffic jam starting to build up behind them, the cars unable to get past the SUV in the narrow street. “We've got to move.”
“Yeah.” Jack stands up slowly, still feeling a little disorientated. He knows he's wasted too much time, that the chances of them finding the men at the teleportation location gets slimmer with every minute that they delay.
Jack is about to get back into the drivers seat when Gwen puts her arm across the door. “Oh no, I'm driving,” Gwen says, her tone letting Jack know that arguing isn't going to have any chance of changing her mind. “I'd like to get back in one piece.”
“All right.” It's frustrating, but Jack knows that Gwen is right; if he drives right now there's every chance that they'll end up round a lamppost or in the back of car. Jack nods, then, keeping a hand against the SUV makes his way round to the front passenger seat.
Getting in, Jack doesn't say anything else until Gwen turns the SUV left at the end of the street. “Last time I looked Albany Road was in the other direction.”
“It is.” Gwen keeps her eyes on the road as she switches the SUV's handsfree on. “Owen, it's Gwen, we're heading back to the Hub. Could you meet us there?”
“You got them then?” Owen asks. Then says quieter, as he's speaking to Ianto rather than into the phone, “See, I told you you're driving too slow. We should have taken my car.”
“No. We nearly crashed,” Gwen tells him, before adding quickly, “We're all right though. Well I am, I think there's something wrong with Jack.”
Leaning over Jack switches off the handsfree. “What are you doing?”
“Trying to stop this before it gets out of hand.”
“Out of hand?” Jack asks, incredulous.
“Yes, out of hand.” Gwen stops the SUV at the traffic lights at the end of the street. “We can't just go charging in without a plan, Rhys getting shot made me realise that. Jack, if we keep doing this then one day we're going to go running in and we're not all going to come again.”
“Sometimes we have to,” Jack says wearily, hating the fact that in the end, however it happens, it will be his fault; it's the price of being in charge.
“But not this time,” Gwen says firmly. “We don't know what they're armed with, or if they'll try to kill anyone who tries to stop them.”
“Can't die, remember,” Jack says, managing to make it sound almost cheerful, despite still feeling shaken from the flashback. The fact that now all he can think of is how there are so many things worse than dying isn't helping.
“That's not the point, if you go charging after them and freeze up again they could just take you away,” Gwen says sounding more worried at the prospect of losing Jack than she had been when they'd nearly crashed. “All they need to do is grab hold of you, and teleport off. We might never see you again.”
Jack shudders. It's involuntary, the feeling of helplessness rushing back. He remembers little about how he'd got away, but it's enough to know that it had been been dumb luck, just one of the many narrow escapes that he's pulled off over the years. It's certainly no guarantee that if he is captured again that he'll be able to manage it a second time.
“Jack?” Gwen asks, concerned. “Are you sure you're all right?”
“Yeah,” Jack says, glad that Gwen's looking at the road rather than him; he's not entirely sure he'd manage to convince her otherwise. “Lets get back to the Hub, pick up what we need and get back out here.”
“Okay.” Gwen doesn't sound like she is completely convinced, but doesn't push the matter further. Contacting Owen again, she says, “Hey, we just lost reception for a minute, nothing to worry about. We're on our way back, see you in soon.”
Jack's hands have stopped shaking by the time they arrive back at the Hub, and the fear and helplessness he'd felt have shifted into anger. Anger at those who had taken him, anger at allowing himself it be so effected by a memory, anger at not being catch them and end this, and even anger at his team for taking control of the situation away from him. None of it is help by the fact that just before they had reached the Hub Tosh had contacted them to say that latest teleport location had broken out of the search pattern, and that she was unable now to predict the next location with any degree of accuracy.
Ianto and Owen are both waiting in the garage when they get out of the SUV.
“I'm fine,” Jack says irritably, before they can ask him anything, and walks over to the steps which lead up to the Hub. “Now lets get to work.”
The metal stair rail is cold under his hand.
Cold. So cold. They've taken his clothes, hosed him down with freezing water. The concrete floor he's lying on feels like ice, but he can't get up, his hands are cuffed behind his back. They're trying to break him, get him to confess. Confess? Confess what? Nothing makes sense. Everything hurts. Alone, forgotten, abandoned. Maybe it's punishment, maybe he deserves this for all the times he's failed, that he's going to fail. Hot tears filled with pain, frustration and loss well up, obscuring the bare room.
“Jack?”
Blinking, Jack looks up through tear blurred eyes at Owen's surprised face. “What happened?” Jack asks, hating that his voice isn't entirely steady.
“You just froze on the stairs, then fell over.” Owen pushes a hand down against Jack's chest as he tries to sit up. “Not to fast.”
“That's what happened in the SUV,” Gwen says, worried. “That how we nearly crashed.”
“It was nothing,” Jack snaps, hating everything about his current situation. He can't help but think that if he hadn't been so stupid as to use the mind probe nothing would have happened in the SUV, they would have caught the men who had taken him by now and he'd be getting answers out of them.
“I'm sorry, Jack, but they need to know,” Ianto says, not sounding happy about what he's about to do. Turning to Owen he says, “He used the mind probe on himself last night to try to find out what had happen.”
Jack glares at Ianto, but says nothing, knowing that if the situation were reversed he do exactly the same. Pushing Owen's hand aside, Jack gets up, glad that this flashback isn't as disorientating as the one in the SUV had been.
“Jack,” Gwen begins.
“This is not up for discussion,” Jack says, determined not to have to explain or justify his actions. Not waiting for a reply, he leaves the garage and head up to his office.
Once in his office, Jack closes the door behind him, and sits down at his desk. It's only a temporary reprieve from the questions that his team will have; they've already followed him back up into the Hub.
Nearby, Jack can hear Owen and Ianto talking.
“I'm just saying, the other day he freaked out and punched you, then he used a bit of tech that had made an alien heads explode, and now he's nearly crashed the SUV.”
“He's just got a lot on his mind,” Ianto replies, defensively.
“I know that,” Owen says sounding frustrated. “But if he ends up accidentally killing one of us it's not going to make him feel any better, is it?”
Sighing, Jack leans back in his chair and closes his eyes. Owen is right, and Jack knows that if any of them were to die because of him, he'd never forgive himself. It's hard enough knowing that every time he sends them out it could be the last time, and that chances are one day it really will be. It's their job though, and they know and accept the risks, but this, him putting them in unnecessary danger, shouldn't be part of it.
There's only one thing he can do, Jack decides; let somebody else be in charge until he gets it together again. It's not an easy decision, stepping back and letting others lead is something that Jack knows he's never been good at; he's too independent and has been let down too many times for that ever to be the case.
They'd managed without him when he'd been away, and if he's honest, they actually work better now as a team because of it. It doesn't make telling them that he's taking some time off any easier though.
He's about to leave the office and tell them when Ianto knocks on the door, then not waiting for a reply opens it. “There are reports coming in of a couple of weevils causing problems over by the new flats in Pontcanna,” Ianto says, sounding like he's been volunteered by the rest of then to speak to him. “What do you want to do?”
“You, Owen and Gwen can handle it,” Jack says, deciding he can always tell them later. “I've got work I can do here.”
None of them look happy about it, but don't question him.
Once they have gone Jack opens the file containing the CCTV footage of his abduction, and sets on a loop on the screen in front of him, Jack hopes that it will be enough to bring the remaining missing memories to the surface.
“Part Six.”