The Hetalia Mental Challenge: Week 1
The Hetalia Mental Challenge
Week 1
Hello ladies and gents! Welcome to the Hetalia Mental Challenge… also known as the Asylum Challenge in which I put Hetalia sims in there and hope they survive for awhile.
Contestant Number 1: Arthur Kirkland
Reasons for being here: “I’m not crazy! I’m not! I don’t even know how I got here, or why I’m with some of the worst Nations of the world! Flying Mint Bunny understands!”
His LTW is to reach the top of the Culinary track. Yeah, I know. How ironic, oh my god. I feel bad for all of my sims that have to taste his cooking.
Contestant Number 2: Gilbert Beilschmidt
Reasons for being here: “I dunno, he seems really weird nowadays. He talks to that bird too much and I don’t think he looks after himself…”
“That’s no surprise, he smells like an alley cat all the time.”
“Austria! Behave!”
Contestant Number 3: Ludwig Beilschmidt
Reasons for being here: “I want to make sure Italy and Prussia are safe… uhh… I have OCD, ja. So take me in to this asylum. DON’T TELL ANYONE I SAID THAT!””
Contestant Number 4: Feliciano Vargas
Reasons for being here: “Fratello is being such an idiot, I’m sick of him, take him away to the crazy house, I need my alone time!”
Contestant Number 5: Natalia Arlovskaya
Reasons for being here: “Uh… little sister scares me a bit; I think she has an obsession with little brother Russia. Maybe you could care for her?”
Contestant Number 6: Ivan Braginsky
Reasons for being here: “Uh… um… R-Russia i-is really s-scary w-with his p-pipe… c-can you d-do something about i-it?”
“LATVIA! Who are you talking to?”
“N-NO ONE! Sorry, I have to go.”
Contestant Number 7: Vladimir Bochinsky
Reasons for being here: “He laughs too much, and steals all of my yogurt! Do something!”
Contestant Number 8: Tino Vainamoinen
Reasons for being here: “Uh… how do I say this… I think m’wife is a bit murderous. He went on a rampage t’other day and scared t’crap out of Denmark. It was over Christmas, I think.”
And thus, that starts our challenge.
Heather Huffington: Can I be a part of this too---
England: lol no, leave you useless premade.
What the hell are you two doing? I’m not even five seconds in and you’re flirting, god damnit! Control yourselves.
Or you could completely ignore me.
I didn’t even know Germany X Finland was possible. Wut.
Alright, so I got bored of that and ordered England to make everyone food after getting a job in the culinary career. This way I won’t have to worry about fires when he’s at work.
Prussia: Butterflies! Kesese, so awesome!
Italy & Romania: Sex!
Russia: Can you please remove yourselves from my scarf, da?
Omfg. Why do I even have the ACR mod installed?!
Belarus: Well done for making out with Germany!
Finland: Haven’t you said that a thousand times already?
Yes she has, and she needs to stop spamming you because YOU HAVE MOTIVES TO TAKE CARE OF.
Prussia: Look at my butterflies, England!~
England: That’s disturbing. Please let them go.
Prussia: NEVER.
This is scarier than I originally thought, and there hasn’t been room for motive fail yet.
Well, after calming down and making sure no one touched his precious butterflies; Prussia decided to start skill building. I applaud you Prussia, skill building is very nice and makes me happy.
On the other hand, Romania and Italy decided it would be a GREAT time to have sex! Ffs, can we please keep it in our pants?
Romania: lolno
England is skill building, I ordered him to start studying some precious cooking skills that will be useful later.
And now it’s time for the pre-mades to show up as some sort of screwed up welcoming wagon. Nervous Subject, Ajay Loner and PT#9? Damn, if that was my welcoming wagon, I’d move straight back out.
England: Uh… greetings?
Nervous: My Mohawk can summon a leprechaun and a pot of gold!
England: Oh. Interesting. [help]
Woohoo! You go England! Show everyone what you’ve got!
Russia has been staring at them for awhile and it’s starting to terrify me.
Russia: Psst! I hear that England has decided to cook food for us, and it’s still raw!
Romania: How does that work when he made yogurt?!
Russia: Exactly!
Nervous, can u not. That food was supposed to be for the actual inmates, oh my god. WHY DID I INVITE PRE-MADES INTO THIS HOUSE?!
Nervous: AGH MY EARS!
England: can we not
Nervous: Huh?
England: Go away, I’m too British!
Well, it’s nice to see the visitors enjoying themselves but…
I DON’T CARE ABOUT THE VISITORS.
What is everyone doing?! Keep those motives up!
PRAISE THE LORD JESUS, ITALY DECIDED TO COME DOWN THE STAIRS!
Italy: Food?
Yes, now go eat and please don’t die.
Germany: Do you ever feel like someone is behind you, watching your every move?
No, but there is literally someone watching you. Don’t turn around. Nervous might freak out.
How interesting. Russia showers with his scarf on. Completely normal.
Ugh, stupid stalker townies calling Russia up and inviting him Downtown. He’s in an asylum, HE CAN’T LEAVE!
Finland: *Admires the paintings* Hmmm, these remind of food, something that I need because I'm hungry, but I'm gonna ignore that fact and continue admiring the paintings!
…
I’m sick of these visitors.
England: Goodbye, see you all NEVER AGAIN.
PT#9: I didn’t get a line…
England: NO ONE CARES; JUST GET OUT OF MY BLOODY… ASYLUM!
Great, now I have to deal with the plate parade.
Whenever they want to wash their plates, they’re going to have to go through the shower room to get to the bathroom sink (I separated them on purpose), so they get a lovely view of dat ass whenever someone is showering.
Bed countdown! England is the first to sleep, thank lord.
No Italy, you can’t sleep next to a stereo that is blasting out music, sorry. Go upstairs in the unoccupied beds.
Ah, there goes the second bed space, I see. Smart thinking, Belarus. Hope that your big brother will be forced to climb in the double bed with you.
Everyone: Yes! This is our chance to waste the fridge supplies and use it all up in one night!
I will end you if you set that stove on fire.
Roxie Sharpe: Hello! I’m a premade from college!
Russia: Da? I thought you were a prostitute, nevermind.
Roxie: …
Russia: Just kidding, hahaha! That is what we call Russian humour, you see?
Roxie: … bye.
Finland: I dunno about you guys, but I’m feeling 22.
Russia: Please stop with crappy American cheap pop music, da?
Germany: WHY AM I STILL AWAKE.
Romania: This food that we just prepared and basically wasted is really nice!
Prussia: Would it be illegal to touch England inappropriately while he sleeps---
England: You wanker! I can still hear you! You can be worse than the Frog!
Sigh. Well that’s bed space #3 reserved for Prussia.
Romania: -Sigh of relief- I thought I would have to share with the psycho over there.
Nope, that place goes to…
FINLAND?!
Finland: I have bigger balls than everyone in this asylum! If she tries to murder me in my sleep, I have a Nokia ready to throw at her. Night night!~
And while everyone sleeps, Italy and Germany don’t get along? I hope it’s the lack of sleep making them grumpy and that they don’t actually hate each other. I don’t mind GerIta!
Then, after harassment and attempting to eat, poor Italy gives into the temptations of the sandman and decides to sleep.
Finally, England’s awake. I don’t need to worry about these idiots killing themselves anymore.
Germany: This bed is mine! I EARNED IT! I CONQUERED EUROPE!
No, you’re hallucinating. Go to sleep already.
Russia: Wait! What about me?!
Either wait for someone to wake up, or pass out. Your choice.
OH MY GOOD LORD.
Russia: What the hell?
Belarus: TAKE ME BIG BROTHER! TAKE ME RIGHT HERE!
Russia: … -sobbing silently-
Prussia’s butterflies are dead.
England: I don’t think I want to break that news to him…
Me either.
Belarus broke the shower?!
England: Fantastic!
Shut up eyebrows, we need to hire a repairman or something!
Belarus: Do you think he’ll wake up if we talk to him?
Prussia: NOMNOMNOM beats me.
Belarus: Italyyyyy, the scaryyyy Belarussss is coming to FIND YOUUUU.
Italy: -no response-
Prussia: Maybe he’s dead.
Jeez you guys, could you stink anymore? I can smell you through the screen, take a shower.
England’s first day at the job! Please get a promotion.
And get home fast, I don’t trust these guys.
Well, it looks like Belarus is doing this house well; she made some sandwiches which means no stove. Keep up the good work, PLEASE.
PRUSSIA! PUT SOME CLOTHES ON! For god’s sake, you’re outside within public eye!
Prussia: I am too awesome for clothes, kesesese!
Ffs.
*Russia walks outside*
Prussia & Romania: Oh my god, what is that horrible SMELL?
Russia: Da? ._.
As romantic as this is, can we please sTOP??
Go fill your motives!
THANK YOU, A PROMOTION!
Ugh well he needs a creativity point to get up the career ladder, so I forced him to play the piano for awhile.
WHAT?! Again?! Oh my god!
Love is in the air. Finland has just fallen in love with Germany, how saucy! Meanwhile, Russia plans his attack on Germany by tickling him?! Yeah okay, very effective. Where is the plot?
And in the middle of woohoo, Italy suddenly fell in love with Romania. Damn this crack!
Russia is arguing with Finland about ‘rockets’.
Right. Okay. Going to ignore every single sexual innuendo out there related to rockets, considering Finland and Germany have been getting it on right in front of Russia.
YOU GUYS DO THIS EVERY NIGHT!
Stop wasting the damn food!
Russia: Piano, da?
Italy: -Plays the piano really badly-
This is what happens to the people who don’t get in bed at night.
England just casually congratulating Romania for being so sexy. Thanks for that.
Prussia: Incest?
Germany: NEIN.
Finland: Germany I thought you were mine!
Romania: What have I just walked into? ...
I wonder the same thing too, Romania.
British food at its finest.
Wow. Some random guy decided to invite Belarus to his music studio or whatever. Cheers, but Belarus is an ASYLUM PATIENT, she can’t leave the house!
Belarus: Who the hell are you? ...
Guy: COME TO OUR MUSIC STUDIO!
Belarus: No. I’m only playing this thing because there is nothing else to do.
At least her brother still makes her happy. Kind of. -Shudders-
I made England build up some logic and Romania kept clapping. Strange.
That music guy showed up again. Plz stahp, I’m sick of your shit bro.
Russia and Belarus are fighting. Wut.
This game is screwing things up I’m terrified.
Belarus does not take rejection well. RIP Russia.
Romania: PLEASE LEAVE. I need to pee!
Germany & Finland: LOLNOPE.
Romania: ._.
Trolls everywhere.
Belarus: WHY DOES BIG BROTHER REJECT ME SO?!
Jeez, this is not a good sign. Please don’t set fire to the house Belarus.
cAN WE NOT
I know it’s against the rules, but I decided to buy an exercise bike because I realized I forgot to put in any workout equipment.
Russia’s enjoying it regardless.
> Very happy to see them building skills without my consent~
I find it really awkward when Germany and Italy cross paths, because they seem to dislike each other.
I can’t remember if romance between the player and one of the in-mates is allowed, but I want at least one couple to kind of make sense, so there’s PrUK, you guys.
Finland: BOOO! THIS TEAPOT SUCKS!
That’s lovely, but why?!
Russia got fit from all that working out.
Things are heating up with the PrUK, but damn England! Forcing your tongue down his throat much?
Germany: DAMNIT, get out bruder and co, I need to pee!
Prussia: MMMMMmMmMmmfffffFffFFFFFff
Germany: ffs.
INSTANT WORK CLOTHES CHANGE!
Prussia: What the fich is he wearing?
Have a nice day at work England.
England: I’ll try.
PLEASE DON’T BURN THE KITCHEN DOWN RUSSIA.
Praise the lordina.
England’s back, with a promotion! About time! He’s a Fast Food Shift Manager… wow, working up the ladder.
I sent England to bed pretty much straight away. Throughout the night, most of the inmates stayed downstairs, despite the fact they should be sleeping at night. Strange.
> sobs because Germany and Finland is starting to grow on me.
First motive failure award goes to Russia! He fell asleep… standing up. Too bad he’s going to have to get back up because the stereo is on.
Oh. It looks like Belarus has become one with her food instead of Russia. Sweet dreams.
This guy is here again?! You people need to stop using this piano.
Another day at work and I still didn’t manage to make him get that creativity skill he needed. Damn.
Oh Belarus, you peed yourself right next to the toilet. Well done. Second motive failure.
No promotion. Time to sleep, blah blah.
Let’s see how everyone else is doing while England gets rest.
Damn, Prussia’s getting good at the piano! Romania’s cheering for his amazing skills!
Circe Beaker: Hey, can you move? I want to shower…
Belarus: Shut up scum! You’re only in this story because England needed a friend to get a promotion!
Circe Beaker: … Rude!
Belarus: I can be ruder, now move it, four eyes!
Oh hello simself! I would invite you in but…
Sim Me: It’s fine, arsehole. I’ll just aimlessly wander the streets of Strangetown far away from my house!
Hey, blame the game, not me! I don’t decide who walks by this house.
Germany: … -takes out the trash suspiciously-
I have a feeling this conversation has been recorded.
Trust me Circe, I feel the same whenever I see them swapping spit.
Come on guys, give it a rest.
Belarus, please be careful with that stove…
Oh praise the lordina again.
Circe Beaker: Don’t give up the day job, you’re crap at piano!
Germany: Did I ask for the opinion of a wench?
Now, now, we can all get along. Say, what the hell are you doing here, Circe, it’s like almost 4 am. Go home.
Russia, can we not?
Russia: Sponge bath, da? Just like in homeland! The sponge trailing down my body...
NO.
Is Germany training you or?...
Italy: Nope! Germany doesn’t seem to like me anymore!
Oh yeah.
England and Prussia fell in love! Aw, so cute!
England and Romania became best friends. That makes me happy, I just wish Norway was here too, then it’d be the Magic Trio!
Another day at work. You better get a promotion, damnit. It’s Saturday, the week is almost over! PROMOTION PLEASE.
Italy got fit? Apparently? Oh. Okay.
FINALLY, A PROMOTION!
The sibling rivalry continues. At least it’s Sunday, only one more day until I can close Week 1 off.
Let us hope this Sunday is calm and not chaotic. (famous last words)
It’s doubtful he’s gonna get a promotion today, he needs one more friend.
Ugh I love Romania’s face okay.
Oh crap, I best invite Circe over; I need her as England’s friend.
Oh look! A new victim to make friends with!
Daniel Sellers: … I was on a morning jog.
England: Become friends with me?
Daniel Sellers: What’s in it for me?
England: Absolutely nothing!
Daniel Sellers: … Okay!
cAN WE STOP WITH THE FREE MEMBERSHIPS PLEASE?
Russia can’t go to your crappy gym, GO AWAY.
After some interaction, Daniel gave in and became friends, SCORE!
Now to call Circe to see if she’s done with work--
There’s no food, everyone’s unhappy. I had to order Chinese and Groceries to save them all. Forget Circe.
Anyone want to answer the door?
Everyone: FOOD!
Delivery Woman: Omf-
Germany, Italy, we just ordered Chinese-
Italy: PASTA!
Germany: … PASTA!
Oh crap.
ARE YOU KIDDING ME FOR GOD’S SAKE
ROMANIA WHAT HAVE YOU DONE.
ITALY PUT HIS PASTA ON AND IT WAS FINE.
Then Germany put his pasta down and didn’t cook it…
So instead rOMANIA thought “OH I’ll cook it instead despite the fact I can't cook for shit!” and caused a fIRE.
CALL THE FIRE STATION NOW.
Thank you fireman -kisses-.
Time for bed after all that drama. I hope no one else causes a fire.
I know Prussia, I’m sorry. It’s all Romania’s fault, blame him.
Well, the week has ended on a bad note. The kitchen is messy, Belarus and Russia still hate each other, and everyone stinks.
At least Germany’s still in the mood to exercise.
Now Prussia is playing the piano naked. Thank you Prussia. This helps me.
Belarus: DO WANT.
Germany: DO NOT WANT!
England has woken up so it’s about time we conclude this week.
Stats of Week 1
Name: Arthur Kirkland (England)
Career: Host (Culinary)
Skills: 2 cooking, 3 logic, 3 creativity
Hobby Enthusiasm: 3 Cuisine, 2 Games, 2 Music & Dance.
Asp Points: 15,500
Love interest(s): Gilbert Beilschmidt (Prussia)
Inmate relations:
Prussia - 100/91 (2B)
Romania - 100/66 (2B)
Russia - 39/39 (2B)
Germany - 23/23 (2B)
Finland - 22/20 (1B)
Italy - 19/19 (1B)
Belarus - 2/2 (1B)
Household Stats:
Family friends: 2
Family funds: 2,324
Amount of fires: One.
Motive failures: Two. One pee, one pass out.
TO BE CONTINUED