Fic: A History of Heaven (Gabriel/Various Angels, PG-13 for this chapter) 21/59
For full notes and other chapters, please see the Masterpost.
Notes: In this story, before Lucifer fell, his name was Sammael. He was not Lucifer in Heaven.
There is one other canon character operating under an OC name, but I wish for his identity to remain unknown.
Chapter Rating: PG-13
Chapter word count: 1,915
Chapter Summary: After fighting with Raphael, Gabriel goes to sulk in his tower, where Cariel has developed selective amnesia.
CHAPTER 21:
Cariel Forgot
Gabriel and Raphael both bolted from Michael’s tower as soon as they were dismissed, heading in opposite directions. Gabriel heard Cariel call out for him, but he didn’t stop. Cariel could see the direction he was flying and know his destination.
In the western quadrant of Heaven, Gabriel’s tower spiraled into the air, red glass stretching out like tendrils of fire (like molten sulfur, dripping onto Sammael’s skin as Gabriel pinned him to the rocks below. He sang her name in worship as she worked her body over his). Gabriel shook his head to clear the memory and skimmed over the dangerous spikes to land at the top. It felt like centuries had passed since he was last here. He never cared much for the minutiae of sitting still and reading reports on a good day, but with the constant feuding between Michael and Sammael, Gabriel had frequently tried to find any excuse he could to slip away. With all the concern about his presumed death before the massive dragon battle, Gabriel was not looking forward to his return welcome.
Several of his Cherubim greeted the Archangel enthusiastically as Gabriel reentered his tower, rushing to hug him tightly in the fashion his Cherubim had adopted instead of bows, and accepting warm, slightly-forced smiles before dashing off to alert the others in the tower. Gabriel had to stop and greet six of his lower Seraphim before he made it into his personal chambers. Cariel was already there, as his familiar presence wasn’t nearly so exciting to the rest of the choir and he hadn’t been delayed by well-meaning choir members. The Seraph was reclining in Gabriel’s chair, his feet upon the desk, his healed hands tucked behind his head.
“Hello, Boss.”
“Out.” Gabriel jerked his thumb over his shoulder, muffling his pleasure at seeing Cariel relaxed and ready to assist. Whatever Alastair had done clearly hadn’t affected Cariel’s personality any.
Cariel slipped from Gabriel’s chair and moved around the desk, sitting in one of the lower chairs there. “You look tense,” he remarked as Gabriel dropped into his own seat. “Did Michael chew you out, or was it just too much Raphael for one century?”
“Bit of both, more the latter.” Gabriel sighed, sinking his head into his hands. “He has no fucking right to demand I…” He trailed off with a groan, giving up on hands entirely to let his head drop to his desk. “Raphael knows what we did in the ocean,” he mumbled.
“In the ocean?”
Gabriel lifted his head enough to peer across the desk at his second. Cariel’s head was cocked to the side, a very confused frown on his face.
“What did we do in the ocean?”
“The…” Gabriel flapped a hand uselessly between them, frowning himself. “You’ve forgotten it already?”
Cariel shook his head slowly. “Gabriel, I don’t remember ever being in the ocean with you. We’ve been on plenty of beaches, but you don’t like going into the water.”
“Just before the dragons.” Gabriel pushed his head off his desk. “We were looking for Sammael. Zachariah and his garrisons were above. Barely more than a month ago, Cariel. You don’t remember?”
“I remember… you were missing. Then you were in that cave, and I rushed to your side. Then you returned to Heaven to speak with Michael.” Cariel’s frown deepened. “That’s not what happened?”
“You’re missing about three hours there.” Gabriel stared over at his second; surely Cariel wouldn’t have denied that kiss when it was just the two of them. He was too genuinely confused. “Alastair,” Gabriel growled in realization.
Cariel’s eyes widened. “You think he stole those hours from me?”
“He was only supposed to remove the location of Purgatory!” But Alastair was following Raphael these days, while he waited for Sammael’s return. Alastair could have easily seen the kiss, removed the memory, and told Raphael before Raphael joined Gabriel in Michael’s tower. Raphael “had ways” indeed…
“Cariel… may I see what he did to your mind?” Gabriel gestured across the desk at Cariel’s head.
Cariel hesitated, a trace of wariness in his eyes. “I don’t know if that’s such a good idea.”
“Why not?” Gabriel frowned at his second. “I thought I had your loyalty.”
“You do!” Cariel was quick to assure Gabriel. “I just…” The slight embarrassment that fizzled through Cariel’s grace gave the truth away.
Cariel didn’t remember kissing Gabriel. He didn’t remember admitting that he cared more for his choirmaster than a Seraph should. Alastair hadn’t affected Cariel’s personality. Those feelings would still be in Cariel’s mind, but his Seraph thought it was a secret he needed to keep hidden. Gabriel softened a little at his lieutenant.
“Cariel, I promise, there is nothing you can think privately that would make me love you any less. You are my valued second, my closest friend. Please, let me see how much damage Alastair did.”
Now that he was looking, Gabriel could see the way Cariel’s grace pulsed at the praise, brightening as Gabriel said he loved him. It was a subtle little glow, but it was definitely there. Cariel did love Gabriel, and probably had for centuries, if not millennia. Gabriel reached across the table for his Seraph. Cariel lifted a hand to meet Gabriel’s, lacing their fingers together. “Okay.”
Cariel was still scared, but he trusted Gabriel. Such a display of devotion never failed to warm Gabriel from the inside out. He leaned across the table a little further, touching two fingers to Cariel’s forehead and closing his eyes.
It was all too easy to slip inside Cariel’s mind. Gabriel skimmed over the surface, trying to ignore how much Cariel was thinking about how their hands were still clasped together. He pressed into Cariel’s memories, gently flipping through his Seraph’s understanding of the past.
A few little holes were clipped out of the dragon fight, here and there, pieces Gabriel recognized as identifying how to find Purgatory. The memories were completely gone, not rewritten or hidden. Cariel’s memories had been seamlessly stitched together around the gaps, but Gabriel could recognize the tell-tale puckering of modification. He paused for a moment to examine a memory of Cariel watching Gabriel wrestle with the dragon, feeling Cariel’s bitter fear clawing at his throat, the desperate urge to do something as Gold grabbed at one of Gabriel’s flaming wings. Looking at it this way, Gabriel realized the full scope of his insanity. How had he ever managed to pull off mind-controlling a dragon!?
It had worked out in the end. All the rampaging dragons were removed from the earth, and no additional angels had died. Gabriel tucked away that memory with a little smile and pushed further back.
Cariel hadn’t been lying. His memories jumped from cave to dismissal with no detour into the water. Gabriel flipped back and forth several times, willing that kiss to return, but there was nothing. Cariel had no recollection of making a move on Gabriel, of revealing the secret he’d been carrying.
Gabriel slid back further in Cariel’s memory, finding the moment when Cariel realized Gabriel was alive again. He’d been here, sitting in Gabriel’s chair, staring blankly at the door Gabriel would always enter through. His whole being was choked with sadness, and the songs of the Host in his head were quiet and mournful, searching for their lost Archangel.
All of a sudden, a flare of grace ignited in the corner of Cariel’s mind, and the Seraph had sat up straight, his wings spread wide and trembling. He hadn’t even taken the time to fully confirm the identity of the bright angel before he was gone, ripping through the planes as fast as he could to materialize at Gabriel’s side.
There was Gabriel himself, or herself, rather, curled on the stone and gasping for breath. Relieflovejoy flooded through Cariel, chasing away the sadness, and for one dizzying, maddening moment, Cariel had wanted to grab Gabriel into his arms and kiss her soundly, to hold her tight and never let go. Riding the high of Cariel’s emotions, Gabriel was almost swept away by the sheer intensity of how much his Seraph loved him.
Distress allowed Cariel to regain his own senses, distress as Gabriel flinched away from him, cringing from his halo. Gabriel frowned at this memory of himself, hating how pale and weak she looked. No wonder Cariel had been so worried. Sammael’s realm truly was a draining place. Was it having this effect on Sammael too? Gabriel had to get him out of there, had to return him to Heaven before it was too late.
Giving himself a shake, Gabriel extracted himself from Cariel’s memories, slipping back into his own mind and letting his hand drop. “They’re gone,” he told his Seraph. “Those hours have been completely cut out of your mind. I can’t restore them for you.”
“What happened?” Cariel asked. He was searching Gabriel’s grace with his eyes, looking for something. Rejection? Gabriel squeezed his fingers against Cariel’s, refusing to let his Seraph think Gabriel thought anything less of him for his love. “In the ocean? What happened that Raphael knows about? Why did Alastair remove that time?”
Gabriel should tell him. Cariel deserved to know what he had done and how Gabriel had responded. But… Gabriel looked at his Seraph and had no idea where to even begin with him. Cariel loved him, as he loved Michael and Sammael. Could he love Cariel the same way? Was that fair to any of his brothers? Cariel was a Seraph, younger, weaker, subordinate. It absolutely would not be proper to indulge in a relationship with him.
And yet, Gabriel found himself wanting to kiss Cariel again, to see if every kiss was as electric as that first one or if it had been a fluke.
Michael needed Gabriel’s attention now, though, and Cariel would want Gabriel’s attention if they did try anything. It wouldn’t be fair to Cariel to offer him a chance and then pull away with a “sorry, maybe later.”
“Nothing important.” Gabriel drew his hand away from Cariel and smiled at the Seraph even as he lied with an ease born of long practice. “It… we had agreed it wouldn’t be spoken of anyway, what Sammael had done down there. It’s better that you don’t remember.”
Gabriel didn’t feel guilty for lying to Cariel, but he did feel guilty that he didn’t feel guilty. He was just too accustomed to lying these days for it to bother him anymore. “I’ll be speaking with Alastair, making sure it remains contained. Thank you, Cariel, for your help these past few weeks.”
Cariel frowned a little, but he nodded, slowly rising to his feet. “You’re welcome, Gabriel. Is there anything else?”
“I’ll be spending most of my time with Michael for the foreseeable future,” Gabriel said. “I won’t be leaving Heaven again for a couple months, at least. Could you return Atis, my vessel, to his family? Give him my thanks.”
“Your wish, my wings.” Cariel stepped around the desk to support Atis as Gabriel slipped out of the human. He picked up the unconscious man easily, cradling him in his arms before flashing away.
Gabriel remained standing, staring blankly at the spot where Cariel had been just a moment earlier. Was this what it meant to lead? Making unpleasant choices? Gabriel hated it. The sooner Heaven was back to normal, with Sammael supporting Michael as the true leaders of the Host, the better.
Next...
Notes: In this story, before Lucifer fell, his name was Sammael. He was not Lucifer in Heaven.
There is one other canon character operating under an OC name, but I wish for his identity to remain unknown.
Chapter Rating: PG-13
Chapter word count: 1,915
Chapter Summary: After fighting with Raphael, Gabriel goes to sulk in his tower, where Cariel has developed selective amnesia.
CHAPTER 21:
Cariel Forgot
Gabriel and Raphael both bolted from Michael’s tower as soon as they were dismissed, heading in opposite directions. Gabriel heard Cariel call out for him, but he didn’t stop. Cariel could see the direction he was flying and know his destination.
In the western quadrant of Heaven, Gabriel’s tower spiraled into the air, red glass stretching out like tendrils of fire (like molten sulfur, dripping onto Sammael’s skin as Gabriel pinned him to the rocks below. He sang her name in worship as she worked her body over his). Gabriel shook his head to clear the memory and skimmed over the dangerous spikes to land at the top. It felt like centuries had passed since he was last here. He never cared much for the minutiae of sitting still and reading reports on a good day, but with the constant feuding between Michael and Sammael, Gabriel had frequently tried to find any excuse he could to slip away. With all the concern about his presumed death before the massive dragon battle, Gabriel was not looking forward to his return welcome.
Several of his Cherubim greeted the Archangel enthusiastically as Gabriel reentered his tower, rushing to hug him tightly in the fashion his Cherubim had adopted instead of bows, and accepting warm, slightly-forced smiles before dashing off to alert the others in the tower. Gabriel had to stop and greet six of his lower Seraphim before he made it into his personal chambers. Cariel was already there, as his familiar presence wasn’t nearly so exciting to the rest of the choir and he hadn’t been delayed by well-meaning choir members. The Seraph was reclining in Gabriel’s chair, his feet upon the desk, his healed hands tucked behind his head.
“Hello, Boss.”
“Out.” Gabriel jerked his thumb over his shoulder, muffling his pleasure at seeing Cariel relaxed and ready to assist. Whatever Alastair had done clearly hadn’t affected Cariel’s personality any.
Cariel slipped from Gabriel’s chair and moved around the desk, sitting in one of the lower chairs there. “You look tense,” he remarked as Gabriel dropped into his own seat. “Did Michael chew you out, or was it just too much Raphael for one century?”
“Bit of both, more the latter.” Gabriel sighed, sinking his head into his hands. “He has no fucking right to demand I…” He trailed off with a groan, giving up on hands entirely to let his head drop to his desk. “Raphael knows what we did in the ocean,” he mumbled.
“In the ocean?”
Gabriel lifted his head enough to peer across the desk at his second. Cariel’s head was cocked to the side, a very confused frown on his face.
“What did we do in the ocean?”
“The…” Gabriel flapped a hand uselessly between them, frowning himself. “You’ve forgotten it already?”
Cariel shook his head slowly. “Gabriel, I don’t remember ever being in the ocean with you. We’ve been on plenty of beaches, but you don’t like going into the water.”
“Just before the dragons.” Gabriel pushed his head off his desk. “We were looking for Sammael. Zachariah and his garrisons were above. Barely more than a month ago, Cariel. You don’t remember?”
“I remember… you were missing. Then you were in that cave, and I rushed to your side. Then you returned to Heaven to speak with Michael.” Cariel’s frown deepened. “That’s not what happened?”
“You’re missing about three hours there.” Gabriel stared over at his second; surely Cariel wouldn’t have denied that kiss when it was just the two of them. He was too genuinely confused. “Alastair,” Gabriel growled in realization.
Cariel’s eyes widened. “You think he stole those hours from me?”
“He was only supposed to remove the location of Purgatory!” But Alastair was following Raphael these days, while he waited for Sammael’s return. Alastair could have easily seen the kiss, removed the memory, and told Raphael before Raphael joined Gabriel in Michael’s tower. Raphael “had ways” indeed…
“Cariel… may I see what he did to your mind?” Gabriel gestured across the desk at Cariel’s head.
Cariel hesitated, a trace of wariness in his eyes. “I don’t know if that’s such a good idea.”
“Why not?” Gabriel frowned at his second. “I thought I had your loyalty.”
“You do!” Cariel was quick to assure Gabriel. “I just…” The slight embarrassment that fizzled through Cariel’s grace gave the truth away.
Cariel didn’t remember kissing Gabriel. He didn’t remember admitting that he cared more for his choirmaster than a Seraph should. Alastair hadn’t affected Cariel’s personality. Those feelings would still be in Cariel’s mind, but his Seraph thought it was a secret he needed to keep hidden. Gabriel softened a little at his lieutenant.
“Cariel, I promise, there is nothing you can think privately that would make me love you any less. You are my valued second, my closest friend. Please, let me see how much damage Alastair did.”
Now that he was looking, Gabriel could see the way Cariel’s grace pulsed at the praise, brightening as Gabriel said he loved him. It was a subtle little glow, but it was definitely there. Cariel did love Gabriel, and probably had for centuries, if not millennia. Gabriel reached across the table for his Seraph. Cariel lifted a hand to meet Gabriel’s, lacing their fingers together. “Okay.”
Cariel was still scared, but he trusted Gabriel. Such a display of devotion never failed to warm Gabriel from the inside out. He leaned across the table a little further, touching two fingers to Cariel’s forehead and closing his eyes.
It was all too easy to slip inside Cariel’s mind. Gabriel skimmed over the surface, trying to ignore how much Cariel was thinking about how their hands were still clasped together. He pressed into Cariel’s memories, gently flipping through his Seraph’s understanding of the past.
A few little holes were clipped out of the dragon fight, here and there, pieces Gabriel recognized as identifying how to find Purgatory. The memories were completely gone, not rewritten or hidden. Cariel’s memories had been seamlessly stitched together around the gaps, but Gabriel could recognize the tell-tale puckering of modification. He paused for a moment to examine a memory of Cariel watching Gabriel wrestle with the dragon, feeling Cariel’s bitter fear clawing at his throat, the desperate urge to do something as Gold grabbed at one of Gabriel’s flaming wings. Looking at it this way, Gabriel realized the full scope of his insanity. How had he ever managed to pull off mind-controlling a dragon!?
It had worked out in the end. All the rampaging dragons were removed from the earth, and no additional angels had died. Gabriel tucked away that memory with a little smile and pushed further back.
Cariel hadn’t been lying. His memories jumped from cave to dismissal with no detour into the water. Gabriel flipped back and forth several times, willing that kiss to return, but there was nothing. Cariel had no recollection of making a move on Gabriel, of revealing the secret he’d been carrying.
Gabriel slid back further in Cariel’s memory, finding the moment when Cariel realized Gabriel was alive again. He’d been here, sitting in Gabriel’s chair, staring blankly at the door Gabriel would always enter through. His whole being was choked with sadness, and the songs of the Host in his head were quiet and mournful, searching for their lost Archangel.
All of a sudden, a flare of grace ignited in the corner of Cariel’s mind, and the Seraph had sat up straight, his wings spread wide and trembling. He hadn’t even taken the time to fully confirm the identity of the bright angel before he was gone, ripping through the planes as fast as he could to materialize at Gabriel’s side.
There was Gabriel himself, or herself, rather, curled on the stone and gasping for breath. Relieflovejoy flooded through Cariel, chasing away the sadness, and for one dizzying, maddening moment, Cariel had wanted to grab Gabriel into his arms and kiss her soundly, to hold her tight and never let go. Riding the high of Cariel’s emotions, Gabriel was almost swept away by the sheer intensity of how much his Seraph loved him.
Distress allowed Cariel to regain his own senses, distress as Gabriel flinched away from him, cringing from his halo. Gabriel frowned at this memory of himself, hating how pale and weak she looked. No wonder Cariel had been so worried. Sammael’s realm truly was a draining place. Was it having this effect on Sammael too? Gabriel had to get him out of there, had to return him to Heaven before it was too late.
Giving himself a shake, Gabriel extracted himself from Cariel’s memories, slipping back into his own mind and letting his hand drop. “They’re gone,” he told his Seraph. “Those hours have been completely cut out of your mind. I can’t restore them for you.”
“What happened?” Cariel asked. He was searching Gabriel’s grace with his eyes, looking for something. Rejection? Gabriel squeezed his fingers against Cariel’s, refusing to let his Seraph think Gabriel thought anything less of him for his love. “In the ocean? What happened that Raphael knows about? Why did Alastair remove that time?”
Gabriel should tell him. Cariel deserved to know what he had done and how Gabriel had responded. But… Gabriel looked at his Seraph and had no idea where to even begin with him. Cariel loved him, as he loved Michael and Sammael. Could he love Cariel the same way? Was that fair to any of his brothers? Cariel was a Seraph, younger, weaker, subordinate. It absolutely would not be proper to indulge in a relationship with him.
And yet, Gabriel found himself wanting to kiss Cariel again, to see if every kiss was as electric as that first one or if it had been a fluke.
Michael needed Gabriel’s attention now, though, and Cariel would want Gabriel’s attention if they did try anything. It wouldn’t be fair to Cariel to offer him a chance and then pull away with a “sorry, maybe later.”
“Nothing important.” Gabriel drew his hand away from Cariel and smiled at the Seraph even as he lied with an ease born of long practice. “It… we had agreed it wouldn’t be spoken of anyway, what Sammael had done down there. It’s better that you don’t remember.”
Gabriel didn’t feel guilty for lying to Cariel, but he did feel guilty that he didn’t feel guilty. He was just too accustomed to lying these days for it to bother him anymore. “I’ll be speaking with Alastair, making sure it remains contained. Thank you, Cariel, for your help these past few weeks.”
Cariel frowned a little, but he nodded, slowly rising to his feet. “You’re welcome, Gabriel. Is there anything else?”
“I’ll be spending most of my time with Michael for the foreseeable future,” Gabriel said. “I won’t be leaving Heaven again for a couple months, at least. Could you return Atis, my vessel, to his family? Give him my thanks.”
“Your wish, my wings.” Cariel stepped around the desk to support Atis as Gabriel slipped out of the human. He picked up the unconscious man easily, cradling him in his arms before flashing away.
Gabriel remained standing, staring blankly at the spot where Cariel had been just a moment earlier. Was this what it meant to lead? Making unpleasant choices? Gabriel hated it. The sooner Heaven was back to normal, with Sammael supporting Michael as the true leaders of the Host, the better.
Next...