Decode
How can I decide what’s right
When you’re clouding up my mind?
I can’t win
Your losing fight
All the time
Edward? So, what's up with the new girl?
What could I tell Emmett? There was nothing there. Her mind was a blank canvas to me, waiting for the right paints to come along. It was so incredibly frustrating. I thought, at first, that perhaps there was something wrong with me until her scent hit me and I knew she had been sent from some personal demon to torment me. I had to leave. Emmett didn't understand at first, but once he went hunting with me, I did my best to explain.
"So, you want to kill her?"
"Yes, very much so."
"Carlisle won't like it, but we all lapse every now and then."
I shot him a look and said nothing. He decided to speak to me through thoughts once he understood the pain I was in.
Okay, sorry, no killing. We can't leave town. Why don't you change her?
I moved my head imperceptibly, but enough that my brother would pick up on it.
Why not?
"Because I have these... human feelings that I cannot understand, that I thought were long dead and I have to save her. She's so fragile, so terribly breakable..."
So, change her, like I said.
"And condemn her to our life? Make her a monster? She's got a father who loves her and happens to be the local law enforcement, Emmett." I sighed as I watched my brother finish off the last of his bear. My own stomach was so full, I knew my thirst was quenched. The question remained, though -- would it be enough to return to school and to Bella Swan?
"I can't read her mind. I won't change her. I can't be human for her -- what do I have to offer her when God Himself has forsaken us?"
"Carlisle doesn't think that," Emmett pointed out as he sat on the rock next to me.
"No. He doesn't." Which didn't exactly make it right or true. I let my head rest against my hands, covering my face as if that would somehow wash away the memory of her scent filling my mind with murderous thoughts. "I don't know what to do."
"Go back to school, test out how the hunting trip worked. We'll all be there, Edward. You'll be fine."
I laughed, but there was no humor in the sound. "Yes, of course you're right. Let's go home."
Edward Cullen
The Twilight Saga
Word Count: 398 (not including lyrics)
When you’re clouding up my mind?
I can’t win
Your losing fight
All the time
Edward? So, what's up with the new girl?
What could I tell Emmett? There was nothing there. Her mind was a blank canvas to me, waiting for the right paints to come along. It was so incredibly frustrating. I thought, at first, that perhaps there was something wrong with me until her scent hit me and I knew she had been sent from some personal demon to torment me. I had to leave. Emmett didn't understand at first, but once he went hunting with me, I did my best to explain.
"So, you want to kill her?"
"Yes, very much so."
"Carlisle won't like it, but we all lapse every now and then."
I shot him a look and said nothing. He decided to speak to me through thoughts once he understood the pain I was in.
Okay, sorry, no killing. We can't leave town. Why don't you change her?
I moved my head imperceptibly, but enough that my brother would pick up on it.
Why not?
"Because I have these... human feelings that I cannot understand, that I thought were long dead and I have to save her. She's so fragile, so terribly breakable..."
So, change her, like I said.
"And condemn her to our life? Make her a monster? She's got a father who loves her and happens to be the local law enforcement, Emmett." I sighed as I watched my brother finish off the last of his bear. My own stomach was so full, I knew my thirst was quenched. The question remained, though -- would it be enough to return to school and to Bella Swan?
"I can't read her mind. I won't change her. I can't be human for her -- what do I have to offer her when God Himself has forsaken us?"
"Carlisle doesn't think that," Emmett pointed out as he sat on the rock next to me.
"No. He doesn't." Which didn't exactly make it right or true. I let my head rest against my hands, covering my face as if that would somehow wash away the memory of her scent filling my mind with murderous thoughts. "I don't know what to do."
"Go back to school, test out how the hunting trip worked. We'll all be there, Edward. You'll be fine."
I laughed, but there was no humor in the sound. "Yes, of course you're right. Let's go home."
Edward Cullen
The Twilight Saga
Word Count: 398 (not including lyrics)