fic: dick is a six letter person [block b; jaekwon; pg-13/r]
dick is a six letter person
block b; jaekwon, minkyung; pg-13/r; 3000
block b plays twister.
dick is a six letter person
Yukwon’s right leg is burning with the intensity of a thousand suns and he’s gritting his teeth so hard that he thinks he’s going to grind them to nothingness. He stands by his observation that Jiho’s ass is far too close to his face for comfort but he has worse things to worry about. Like the fact that his right leg is brushing against Minhyuk’s something and he really hopes it’s not his dick. It is kinda soft though so Yukwon has hopes that maybe it’s his belly or something but he can’t exactly turn his head 180 degrees to see.
“Okay! It’s Jaehyo’s turn next!” Kyung happily says, and Yukwon has half a mind to punch him in the face for putting them through this. Actually, Yukwon’s pretty sure he’s going to shove Kyung off a cliff once his personal space is Jiho’s ass free.
The sound of his fingers hitting the spinner fills the air and Yukwon wishes desperately that he could bring his legs back in and feel human again because this elastic band existence really isn’t working for him. Really.
“Jaehyo, your left foot to green,” Kyung calls out, and Taeil’s sitting next to him on the floor, having stubbornly refused to be part of their game. Yukwon thinks is entirely too unfair and calls Taeil a motherfucking traitor in his mind before he feels Jaehyo’s left leg, which has been awkwardly pressed against Yukwon’s stomach, shift from the yellow circle it had been on to the green circle.
Momentarily Yukwon freezes entirely, his body going ridged because that is not Jaehyo’s motherfucking dick pressing into his crotch, no it is fucking not, that is not even humanly possible because you don’t just feel your bandmate’s dicks while playing stupid, American games but Jaehyo’s just let out a horrified squeak.
“Jesus fucking Christ,” he growls, shakily and distantly he hears Kyung telling Jiho to move his right arm to red. Somehow this results in Jiho’s ass pressing into Yukwon’s face and his cry is muffled by the fabric of Jiho’s jeans. Somewhere, deep inside of Yukwon, something breaks.
“Kyung,” Jiho announces, voice heavy with strain. “I am going to motherfucking kill you right after I win this fucking thing.”
Kyung’s cackling is entirely not comforting.
Somehow, and Yukwon has no idea how, Minhyuk and Kyung have both dragged Jiho away from the nest Jiho had made for himself by his bed, in his bed, Yukwon doesn’t really know. The important thing is that Jiho only knows how to work, constantly scribbling down lyrics or muttering about how the music doesn’t feel right - which, could Jiho be more of a pretentious ass? - and so Yukwon’s a bit surprised that Jiho’s the one who looks dishevelled and not Minhyuk or Kyung. Actually, to be quite honest, he’s surprised neither of them have had their faces scratched off.
“I have fucking shit to do,” Jiho growls at Kyung, who glares back and elbows him hard enough that Jiho curses.
“Shut up, the album will still be there in the morning,” Kyung says, motioning his head toward the pile of pillows Jihoon had, until recently, been using to bemoan about the fact that he never got presents as cool as Jiho-hyung in. Yukwon had tuned him out because he had better things to do like find the lyrics to Grenade but Taeil had tried to distractedly console him, like a good hyung. But Jaehyo had pulled Jihoon off the pile and now Kyung and Minhyuk had shoved Jiho onto it instead.
“Stay,” Minhyuk tells Jiho, who looks indignant and angry all at the same time, mouth opening and closing ridiculously. Yukwon can’t help the chuckle that escapes him, which Taeil mimics and he guesses it’s okay to find all of Jiho’s grouchiness terribly amusing.
“Okay! So, since we’ve all been working so hard lately,” Kyung starts, and Yukwon closes the lid of his laptop because he has a feeling he won’t be able to look up Bruno Mars lyrics while Kyung makes his little announcement if Jiho wasn’t allowed to work on their album. “I thought, along with Jaehyo hyung’s guidance, we should play a fun little game! Now ask me what game it is!”
Yukwon thinks Kyung is a bit of a dumbass but he says nothing, opting to remain silent because there is a sinking feeling in his stomach thanks to the terrifying glint in Kyung’s eyes.
“What game?” Jihoon asks, excitement on par with Kyung’s. It’s no wonder Minhyuk is always mentioning how the two of them should just get married or something. Of course, Yukwon’s always thought Minhyuk sounded a bit too jealous when he said anything pertaining to Kyung like the time he had spent one hour - an hour! As if Yukwon didn’t have a life or something and just lived to listen to Minhyuk’s love life problems - complaining about the fact that Kyung spent too much time with Jiho in the studio and oh god, why wasn’t Minhyuk allowed to be there too?, so his opinion didn’t really count.
“Twister!” Kyung exclaims, clapping his hands together. Yukwon raises an eyebrow in Kyung’s general direction but before he can ask what the fuck Twister even is, Jiho lets out a strangled sort of scream.
“There is no fucking way we’re playing that!” Jiho shouts, dismissive, already rising from his pile of pillows.
“Shut up Jiho, no one asked you for your opinion,” Kyung snaps at him and gives him a shove so he falls back into the pillows.
Jaehyo grins down at Jiho’s scowling face, and reaches to pinch his cheek. Jiho swats the hand away angrily before it makes contact, looking for all the world like a cat drenched in water. “Jiho-ah, cheer up. What if Kyung had suggested truth or dare, can you imagine what he would have made us do?” Jaehyo tells him but Kyung’s too busy spreading a giant, rectangular piece of plastic across their living room floor to catch the insult. Jihoon’s just thrown their laundry into a corner to make space and Yukwon feels the beginnings of a headache.
“How did I end up in this group?” he mutters to no one but himself but Taeil nods his head solemnly as he turns to face Yukwon.
“I ask myself that every day.”
Which, okay, Yukwon understands but for the most part, Yukwon likes being part of Block B. Likes that they’re all a bit ridiculous and outrageous and make stupid faces at all their events. He even likes Jaehyo, who Yukwon thinks is awkward and long and maybe, just maybe, after Yukwon saw his dick that one time he accidentally walked in on him showering, he’s become terrified of.
He shifts uncomfortably in his seat, eyes flickering over Jaehyo who’s taken to sitting next to Jiho with his arm wrapped around his shoulders.
“Okay, okay, it’s ready! Minhyuk-hyung, can you pass me the spinner?” Kyung asks Minhyuk who grabs something out the box Kyung’s pulled his plastic sheet from. Yukwon surveys the sheet on the floor, notes the colourful dots all spread out equally and frowns. Just what are they supposed to be doing here.
“So, what is ‘Twister’?” Yukwon asks, drawing every pair of eyes in the room to him. Kyung grins, as if Yukwon’s just set him up to make some sleazy, greasy joke that no one finds funny except maybe Minhyuk, and even then only secretly.
“It’s like trying out the sex positions in the Kamasutra but there’s no sex,” Jiho answers.
Yukwon’s eyes must have widened rather noticeably because Kyung is sending a dark glare in Jiho’s direction and trying to smile convincingly at Yukwon the next. “It’s fun, really. Do you think Minhyuk hyung would agree to play a game that wasn’t fun?”
Yukwon looks over at Minhyuk who shrugs rather uselessly. That horrible feeling was returning to Yukwon’s gut.
Jihoon falls first, his knee hitting the Twister mat as he struggles to stretch his left leg to a red dot underneath Jiho’s torso. He loses his balance, letting out a loud yell as he awkwardly bends his own waist to save himself. When he falls though, Jiho lets out a victorious howl, which is followed by Jaehyo’s ringing laughter.
Yukwon’s just grateful that for the most part that he only looks like an awkward turtle, his limbs not cross wired like Minhyuk’s or cramped together like Jiho’s. There is the small issue, of course, of Jaehyo’s body pressing against Yukwon’s closer then he’d like but Kyung’s telling him to move his right leg to a blue circle so he really has no time to dwell on the fact that his mind is forming terrifying images of him somehow ending up underneath Jaehyo on the Twister mat.
Quite frankly, doing the splits in the air like this, with his calf now pressing into Minhyuk’s something makes it far too painful to focus on the reason why Jaehyo’s existence makes Yukwon tense up like a little boy caught with his hand in the cookie jar.
There is actually sweat - sweat! - dripping down Yukwon’s forehead right now. Minhyuk’s out, having fallen somewhere in between Jiho trying to shove his arm through a rather small hole made by the crossing of Yukwon’s right leg and Minhyuk’s left leg and Yukwon having to move that same right leg to a yellow circle. While this had made the strain on his legs lessen, it had rather awkwardly resulted in his own crotch rubbing against Jaehyo’s. Rubbing! For fuck’s sake, what kind of satanic game was this and of course Kyung wanted to be the referee, that son of a bitch.
More importantly, Yukwon is pretty sure he isn’t supposed to feel heat curl up in the pit of his stomach when his dick rubs up against Jaehyo’s. Pretty sure but not entirely since Yukwon didn’t make it a habit to go around rubbing his crotch against other boys’.
There was a part of Yukwon that was screaming because Jaehyo was wearing sweatpants and he could feel everything. And by everything he meant the ridiculous length of Jaehyo’s dick and the fact that it was semi-hard and that Yukwon had only ever told Minhyuk the one time when he had been too drunk to keep his mouth shut that he sometimes had dreams about Jaehyo’s dick. Only sometimes though because Yukwon didn’t dream about other guys dicks. No, that was for Minhyuk.
But semi-hard! What is Jaehyo even thinking that he’s getting turned on in such a dire situation and more importantly, why had they decided to listen to Kyung, Kyung of all the fucking people in the world, over Jiho. This mistake would not be made twice.
Thankfully, he’s gotten the small reprieve of his face not being pressed into Jiho’s ass, but Jesus Christ, the Lord was testing him right now. Yukwon isn’t sure how much more of this intense body touching he can handle and if the Kamasutra is anything like this, the fuck if he was ever going to sexually experiment.
Later, when Yukwon won’t leave the bathroom because he has nowhere else to hide from Jaehyo’s dick, Minhyuk slides a note underneath the door. Yukwon reaches over to grab it, not quite moving from his position against the bathroom counters.
“Kyung promised to blow me.”
Yukwon’s pretty sure Jiho’s not the only one who’s going to be committing homicide.
The first thing Minhyuk does after he disentangles himself from the limbs of the rest of his members is whistle long and low. Yukwon knows exactly why and he also knows that he’s going to draw a penis on Minhyuk’s face in permanent marker the next time he falls asleep in the van.
“Talk about compromising positions,” he hears Minhyuk whisper to, who he assumes to be Kyung since Yukwon saw Taeil and Jihoon head for the kitchen to make popcorn, the assholes.
Kyung snickers and there’s a horrified second where Yukwon swears, swears he’s just heard the familiar sound of a phone camera going off but Kyung’s telling him to move his left leg to another green circle. Yukwon strains his neck down, to see what his options are and feels his stomach drop because he can only go one circle further away from where he is now.
Which means more dick rubbing.
Why.
Awkwardly, Yukwon tries to lift his body so that it doesn’t slide against Jaehyo’s but this doesn’t work as well as he’d hoped because his right leg is cramping, so Yukwon stutters, practically grinds his hips against Jaehyo’s and Jaehyo’s squeaking again.
He almost whimpers, biting down on his lip hard enough that he’s pretty sure he’s going to start bleeding soon.
“Yukwon’s so flexible, huh,” Jiho remarks, and there’s a lingering amusement in it, as if he’s somehow caught onto Yukwon’s secret, giant dichotomous fear-wanting for Jaehyo’s dick.
Oh God, what was his life becoming.
“Can’t start losing to my dongsaengs, now can I?” Yukwon says, sounding every bit as competitive as Jiho. Jaehyo laughs nervously behind them and Yukwon grits his teeth. Dicks be damned, he was going to win this thing.
When Jiho collapses, actually collapses all over Yukwon and Jaehyo ruining everything and all of Yukwon’s dreams, there is a an almost thirty second gap between Yukwon’s laughter at the absurdity of this whole game and his realisation that oh shit, he was lying on top of Jaehyo.
And not even the good king of lying, which, yes it exists and Yukwon doesn’t always have sex dreams thankyouverymuch. The sort of lying where Yukwon’s getting a front row ticket to Jaehyo’s feet and inhibited contact with certain body parts of said band member.
It doesn’t help that Jiho’s somehow managed to entangle his arms with Yukwon’s so Yukwon can’t even scramble away like his brain is screaming at him to do. Instead he lies perfectly still, perfectly aware of Jaehyo’s cock and how through the progression of the game it had really only gotten harder. Yukwon’s about ready to hyperventilate because he knows he’s hard and he knows there is no damned way Jaehyo doesn’t know.
Okay, okay he tells himself, just pull your arm out from underneath Jiho and -
“Dogpile!” Kyung screams over everything, the howling laughter from Jihoon and the loud cursing from Jiho. Yukwon has literally seconds to ready himself for the impact of bodies falling on top of him before they hit, his lungs suffocating under the weight.
“Kwon-ah,” Jaehyo’s voice calls from the other side of the bathroom door.
Yukwon freezes, Minhyuk’s note crumpled in his fist so tight that he feels like it’s going to make an impression into his skin.
“W-what?” he calls out, staring at the locked door as if Jaehyo was somehow going to seep through it by osmosis.
“Are you okay?” Jaehyo asks and he does sound genuinely concerned, which would be nice and all if Yukwon weren’t having an extensional crisis over how he wanted Jaehyo’s dick and how he wanted it pretty bad.
“Fine,” he answers, quicker then he should have but really he wants Jaehyo to go the fuck away so he can continue to lament the sorry turn his life was taking.
“Well that’s good,” Jaehyo says, pausing briefly before continuing. “Would you mind if I used the bathroom then?”
Yes, Yukwon wants to say because the bathroom is his and everyone can go piss outside for all he cares, no one is coming into his bathroom until they break the door down. “Uh, gimme a sec,” he says, instead, reaching to unlock the bathroom door. He’s still on his knees when Jaehyo pushes the door in and Yukwon flails momentarily to catch his balance and is met with Jaehyo’s crotch when he finally regains it.
Fuck everything.
“Hi,” Jaehyo’s crotch says and Yukwon swallows, throat suddenly dry and parched.
“Hi,” he answers, head shifting upwards to meet Jaehyo’s eyes. His hyung looks uncertain for a second before he kneels before Yukwon.
They’re pretty much at eye level know, which is a relief because Yukwon isn’t sure he’s ready to have conversations with Jaehyo’s dick yet.
“So, that was a bit awkward, huh,” Jaehyo comments, eyes not quite meeting Yukwon’s. The blush that rises to his cheeks is instant and burning and why in God’s good name does Jaehyo want to talk about this?!
“Uh, yeah, sort of,” Yukwon replies, briefly wondering why they were both choosing to kneel on the bathroom floor and have a conversation.
“I guess it could have been worse.”
“Yeah, you could have had Jiho’s ass in your face.” This earns him a disbelieving laugh and Yukwon feels a little better because Jaehyo has a really nice smile, yes. His dick might be terrifying but his smile is not. Definitely, no.
“That’s…unfortunate.”
“Well, I guess it depends on how much you like Jiho’s ass.” Yukwon shrugs his shoulders a little nonchalantly and Jaehyo’s grinning at him now.
“It’s not my favourite ass, to be honest.”
“Really?”
“Really.” Yukwon is starting to feel that same, ridiculous heat in his stomach again and he can’t look away from the intensity written on Jaehyo’s face.
There’s no real thought process in his deciding to move closer to Jaehyo’s mouth, he just presses forward until his lips are softly against Jaehyo’s, who’s a bit tense, which is worrying. But when Yukwon shifts his head just slightly, so his nose isn’t bumping into Jaehyo’s, Jaehyo’s hand comes up and curls into Yukwon’s hair, his lips parting just the tiniest bit to slide against Yukwon’s.
Yukwon thinks that maybe he’ll worry about Jaehyo’s dick later. His lips were pretty fucking fascinating.
- apparently, i'm actully a twelve year old and really like dick jokes.
- idk why i decided writing crackfic was a good idea but i did it anyways. u____u #iregretnothing
- i apologise if this was not even in the least bit hilarious but i really didn't want to make kwon sound like jay park because you know, he's not jay park.
block b; jaekwon, minkyung; pg-13/r; 3000
block b plays twister.
dick is a six letter person
Yukwon’s right leg is burning with the intensity of a thousand suns and he’s gritting his teeth so hard that he thinks he’s going to grind them to nothingness. He stands by his observation that Jiho’s ass is far too close to his face for comfort but he has worse things to worry about. Like the fact that his right leg is brushing against Minhyuk’s something and he really hopes it’s not his dick. It is kinda soft though so Yukwon has hopes that maybe it’s his belly or something but he can’t exactly turn his head 180 degrees to see.
“Okay! It’s Jaehyo’s turn next!” Kyung happily says, and Yukwon has half a mind to punch him in the face for putting them through this. Actually, Yukwon’s pretty sure he’s going to shove Kyung off a cliff once his personal space is Jiho’s ass free.
The sound of his fingers hitting the spinner fills the air and Yukwon wishes desperately that he could bring his legs back in and feel human again because this elastic band existence really isn’t working for him. Really.
“Jaehyo, your left foot to green,” Kyung calls out, and Taeil’s sitting next to him on the floor, having stubbornly refused to be part of their game. Yukwon thinks is entirely too unfair and calls Taeil a motherfucking traitor in his mind before he feels Jaehyo’s left leg, which has been awkwardly pressed against Yukwon’s stomach, shift from the yellow circle it had been on to the green circle.
Momentarily Yukwon freezes entirely, his body going ridged because that is not Jaehyo’s motherfucking dick pressing into his crotch, no it is fucking not, that is not even humanly possible because you don’t just feel your bandmate’s dicks while playing stupid, American games but Jaehyo’s just let out a horrified squeak.
“Jesus fucking Christ,” he growls, shakily and distantly he hears Kyung telling Jiho to move his right arm to red. Somehow this results in Jiho’s ass pressing into Yukwon’s face and his cry is muffled by the fabric of Jiho’s jeans. Somewhere, deep inside of Yukwon, something breaks.
“Kyung,” Jiho announces, voice heavy with strain. “I am going to motherfucking kill you right after I win this fucking thing.”
Kyung’s cackling is entirely not comforting.
Somehow, and Yukwon has no idea how, Minhyuk and Kyung have both dragged Jiho away from the nest Jiho had made for himself by his bed, in his bed, Yukwon doesn’t really know. The important thing is that Jiho only knows how to work, constantly scribbling down lyrics or muttering about how the music doesn’t feel right - which, could Jiho be more of a pretentious ass? - and so Yukwon’s a bit surprised that Jiho’s the one who looks dishevelled and not Minhyuk or Kyung. Actually, to be quite honest, he’s surprised neither of them have had their faces scratched off.
“I have fucking shit to do,” Jiho growls at Kyung, who glares back and elbows him hard enough that Jiho curses.
“Shut up, the album will still be there in the morning,” Kyung says, motioning his head toward the pile of pillows Jihoon had, until recently, been using to bemoan about the fact that he never got presents as cool as Jiho-hyung in. Yukwon had tuned him out because he had better things to do like find the lyrics to Grenade but Taeil had tried to distractedly console him, like a good hyung. But Jaehyo had pulled Jihoon off the pile and now Kyung and Minhyuk had shoved Jiho onto it instead.
“Stay,” Minhyuk tells Jiho, who looks indignant and angry all at the same time, mouth opening and closing ridiculously. Yukwon can’t help the chuckle that escapes him, which Taeil mimics and he guesses it’s okay to find all of Jiho’s grouchiness terribly amusing.
“Okay! So, since we’ve all been working so hard lately,” Kyung starts, and Yukwon closes the lid of his laptop because he has a feeling he won’t be able to look up Bruno Mars lyrics while Kyung makes his little announcement if Jiho wasn’t allowed to work on their album. “I thought, along with Jaehyo hyung’s guidance, we should play a fun little game! Now ask me what game it is!”
Yukwon thinks Kyung is a bit of a dumbass but he says nothing, opting to remain silent because there is a sinking feeling in his stomach thanks to the terrifying glint in Kyung’s eyes.
“What game?” Jihoon asks, excitement on par with Kyung’s. It’s no wonder Minhyuk is always mentioning how the two of them should just get married or something. Of course, Yukwon’s always thought Minhyuk sounded a bit too jealous when he said anything pertaining to Kyung like the time he had spent one hour - an hour! As if Yukwon didn’t have a life or something and just lived to listen to Minhyuk’s love life problems - complaining about the fact that Kyung spent too much time with Jiho in the studio and oh god, why wasn’t Minhyuk allowed to be there too?, so his opinion didn’t really count.
“Twister!” Kyung exclaims, clapping his hands together. Yukwon raises an eyebrow in Kyung’s general direction but before he can ask what the fuck Twister even is, Jiho lets out a strangled sort of scream.
“There is no fucking way we’re playing that!” Jiho shouts, dismissive, already rising from his pile of pillows.
“Shut up Jiho, no one asked you for your opinion,” Kyung snaps at him and gives him a shove so he falls back into the pillows.
Jaehyo grins down at Jiho’s scowling face, and reaches to pinch his cheek. Jiho swats the hand away angrily before it makes contact, looking for all the world like a cat drenched in water. “Jiho-ah, cheer up. What if Kyung had suggested truth or dare, can you imagine what he would have made us do?” Jaehyo tells him but Kyung’s too busy spreading a giant, rectangular piece of plastic across their living room floor to catch the insult. Jihoon’s just thrown their laundry into a corner to make space and Yukwon feels the beginnings of a headache.
“How did I end up in this group?” he mutters to no one but himself but Taeil nods his head solemnly as he turns to face Yukwon.
“I ask myself that every day.”
Which, okay, Yukwon understands but for the most part, Yukwon likes being part of Block B. Likes that they’re all a bit ridiculous and outrageous and make stupid faces at all their events. He even likes Jaehyo, who Yukwon thinks is awkward and long and maybe, just maybe, after Yukwon saw his dick that one time he accidentally walked in on him showering, he’s become terrified of.
He shifts uncomfortably in his seat, eyes flickering over Jaehyo who’s taken to sitting next to Jiho with his arm wrapped around his shoulders.
“Okay, okay, it’s ready! Minhyuk-hyung, can you pass me the spinner?” Kyung asks Minhyuk who grabs something out the box Kyung’s pulled his plastic sheet from. Yukwon surveys the sheet on the floor, notes the colourful dots all spread out equally and frowns. Just what are they supposed to be doing here.
“So, what is ‘Twister’?” Yukwon asks, drawing every pair of eyes in the room to him. Kyung grins, as if Yukwon’s just set him up to make some sleazy, greasy joke that no one finds funny except maybe Minhyuk, and even then only secretly.
“It’s like trying out the sex positions in the Kamasutra but there’s no sex,” Jiho answers.
Yukwon’s eyes must have widened rather noticeably because Kyung is sending a dark glare in Jiho’s direction and trying to smile convincingly at Yukwon the next. “It’s fun, really. Do you think Minhyuk hyung would agree to play a game that wasn’t fun?”
Yukwon looks over at Minhyuk who shrugs rather uselessly. That horrible feeling was returning to Yukwon’s gut.
Jihoon falls first, his knee hitting the Twister mat as he struggles to stretch his left leg to a red dot underneath Jiho’s torso. He loses his balance, letting out a loud yell as he awkwardly bends his own waist to save himself. When he falls though, Jiho lets out a victorious howl, which is followed by Jaehyo’s ringing laughter.
Yukwon’s just grateful that for the most part that he only looks like an awkward turtle, his limbs not cross wired like Minhyuk’s or cramped together like Jiho’s. There is the small issue, of course, of Jaehyo’s body pressing against Yukwon’s closer then he’d like but Kyung’s telling him to move his right leg to a blue circle so he really has no time to dwell on the fact that his mind is forming terrifying images of him somehow ending up underneath Jaehyo on the Twister mat.
Quite frankly, doing the splits in the air like this, with his calf now pressing into Minhyuk’s something makes it far too painful to focus on the reason why Jaehyo’s existence makes Yukwon tense up like a little boy caught with his hand in the cookie jar.
There is actually sweat - sweat! - dripping down Yukwon’s forehead right now. Minhyuk’s out, having fallen somewhere in between Jiho trying to shove his arm through a rather small hole made by the crossing of Yukwon’s right leg and Minhyuk’s left leg and Yukwon having to move that same right leg to a yellow circle. While this had made the strain on his legs lessen, it had rather awkwardly resulted in his own crotch rubbing against Jaehyo’s. Rubbing! For fuck’s sake, what kind of satanic game was this and of course Kyung wanted to be the referee, that son of a bitch.
More importantly, Yukwon is pretty sure he isn’t supposed to feel heat curl up in the pit of his stomach when his dick rubs up against Jaehyo’s. Pretty sure but not entirely since Yukwon didn’t make it a habit to go around rubbing his crotch against other boys’.
There was a part of Yukwon that was screaming because Jaehyo was wearing sweatpants and he could feel everything. And by everything he meant the ridiculous length of Jaehyo’s dick and the fact that it was semi-hard and that Yukwon had only ever told Minhyuk the one time when he had been too drunk to keep his mouth shut that he sometimes had dreams about Jaehyo’s dick. Only sometimes though because Yukwon didn’t dream about other guys dicks. No, that was for Minhyuk.
But semi-hard! What is Jaehyo even thinking that he’s getting turned on in such a dire situation and more importantly, why had they decided to listen to Kyung, Kyung of all the fucking people in the world, over Jiho. This mistake would not be made twice.
Thankfully, he’s gotten the small reprieve of his face not being pressed into Jiho’s ass, but Jesus Christ, the Lord was testing him right now. Yukwon isn’t sure how much more of this intense body touching he can handle and if the Kamasutra is anything like this, the fuck if he was ever going to sexually experiment.
Later, when Yukwon won’t leave the bathroom because he has nowhere else to hide from Jaehyo’s dick, Minhyuk slides a note underneath the door. Yukwon reaches over to grab it, not quite moving from his position against the bathroom counters.
“Kyung promised to blow me.”
Yukwon’s pretty sure Jiho’s not the only one who’s going to be committing homicide.
The first thing Minhyuk does after he disentangles himself from the limbs of the rest of his members is whistle long and low. Yukwon knows exactly why and he also knows that he’s going to draw a penis on Minhyuk’s face in permanent marker the next time he falls asleep in the van.
“Talk about compromising positions,” he hears Minhyuk whisper to, who he assumes to be Kyung since Yukwon saw Taeil and Jihoon head for the kitchen to make popcorn, the assholes.
Kyung snickers and there’s a horrified second where Yukwon swears, swears he’s just heard the familiar sound of a phone camera going off but Kyung’s telling him to move his left leg to another green circle. Yukwon strains his neck down, to see what his options are and feels his stomach drop because he can only go one circle further away from where he is now.
Which means more dick rubbing.
Why.
Awkwardly, Yukwon tries to lift his body so that it doesn’t slide against Jaehyo’s but this doesn’t work as well as he’d hoped because his right leg is cramping, so Yukwon stutters, practically grinds his hips against Jaehyo’s and Jaehyo’s squeaking again.
He almost whimpers, biting down on his lip hard enough that he’s pretty sure he’s going to start bleeding soon.
“Yukwon’s so flexible, huh,” Jiho remarks, and there’s a lingering amusement in it, as if he’s somehow caught onto Yukwon’s secret, giant dichotomous fear-wanting for Jaehyo’s dick.
Oh God, what was his life becoming.
“Can’t start losing to my dongsaengs, now can I?” Yukwon says, sounding every bit as competitive as Jiho. Jaehyo laughs nervously behind them and Yukwon grits his teeth. Dicks be damned, he was going to win this thing.
When Jiho collapses, actually collapses all over Yukwon and Jaehyo ruining everything and all of Yukwon’s dreams, there is a an almost thirty second gap between Yukwon’s laughter at the absurdity of this whole game and his realisation that oh shit, he was lying on top of Jaehyo.
And not even the good king of lying, which, yes it exists and Yukwon doesn’t always have sex dreams thankyouverymuch. The sort of lying where Yukwon’s getting a front row ticket to Jaehyo’s feet and inhibited contact with certain body parts of said band member.
It doesn’t help that Jiho’s somehow managed to entangle his arms with Yukwon’s so Yukwon can’t even scramble away like his brain is screaming at him to do. Instead he lies perfectly still, perfectly aware of Jaehyo’s cock and how through the progression of the game it had really only gotten harder. Yukwon’s about ready to hyperventilate because he knows he’s hard and he knows there is no damned way Jaehyo doesn’t know.
Okay, okay he tells himself, just pull your arm out from underneath Jiho and -
“Dogpile!” Kyung screams over everything, the howling laughter from Jihoon and the loud cursing from Jiho. Yukwon has literally seconds to ready himself for the impact of bodies falling on top of him before they hit, his lungs suffocating under the weight.
“Kwon-ah,” Jaehyo’s voice calls from the other side of the bathroom door.
Yukwon freezes, Minhyuk’s note crumpled in his fist so tight that he feels like it’s going to make an impression into his skin.
“W-what?” he calls out, staring at the locked door as if Jaehyo was somehow going to seep through it by osmosis.
“Are you okay?” Jaehyo asks and he does sound genuinely concerned, which would be nice and all if Yukwon weren’t having an extensional crisis over how he wanted Jaehyo’s dick and how he wanted it pretty bad.
“Fine,” he answers, quicker then he should have but really he wants Jaehyo to go the fuck away so he can continue to lament the sorry turn his life was taking.
“Well that’s good,” Jaehyo says, pausing briefly before continuing. “Would you mind if I used the bathroom then?”
Yes, Yukwon wants to say because the bathroom is his and everyone can go piss outside for all he cares, no one is coming into his bathroom until they break the door down. “Uh, gimme a sec,” he says, instead, reaching to unlock the bathroom door. He’s still on his knees when Jaehyo pushes the door in and Yukwon flails momentarily to catch his balance and is met with Jaehyo’s crotch when he finally regains it.
Fuck everything.
“Hi,” Jaehyo’s crotch says and Yukwon swallows, throat suddenly dry and parched.
“Hi,” he answers, head shifting upwards to meet Jaehyo’s eyes. His hyung looks uncertain for a second before he kneels before Yukwon.
They’re pretty much at eye level know, which is a relief because Yukwon isn’t sure he’s ready to have conversations with Jaehyo’s dick yet.
“So, that was a bit awkward, huh,” Jaehyo comments, eyes not quite meeting Yukwon’s. The blush that rises to his cheeks is instant and burning and why in God’s good name does Jaehyo want to talk about this?!
“Uh, yeah, sort of,” Yukwon replies, briefly wondering why they were both choosing to kneel on the bathroom floor and have a conversation.
“I guess it could have been worse.”
“Yeah, you could have had Jiho’s ass in your face.” This earns him a disbelieving laugh and Yukwon feels a little better because Jaehyo has a really nice smile, yes. His dick might be terrifying but his smile is not. Definitely, no.
“That’s…unfortunate.”
“Well, I guess it depends on how much you like Jiho’s ass.” Yukwon shrugs his shoulders a little nonchalantly and Jaehyo’s grinning at him now.
“It’s not my favourite ass, to be honest.”
“Really?”
“Really.” Yukwon is starting to feel that same, ridiculous heat in his stomach again and he can’t look away from the intensity written on Jaehyo’s face.
There’s no real thought process in his deciding to move closer to Jaehyo’s mouth, he just presses forward until his lips are softly against Jaehyo’s, who’s a bit tense, which is worrying. But when Yukwon shifts his head just slightly, so his nose isn’t bumping into Jaehyo’s, Jaehyo’s hand comes up and curls into Yukwon’s hair, his lips parting just the tiniest bit to slide against Yukwon’s.
Yukwon thinks that maybe he’ll worry about Jaehyo’s dick later. His lips were pretty fucking fascinating.
- apparently, i'm actully a twelve year old and really like dick jokes.
- idk why i decided writing crackfic was a good idea but i did it anyways. u____u #iregretnothing
- i apologise if this was not even in the least bit hilarious but i really didn't want to make kwon sound like jay park because you know, he's not jay park.