Fic: Tea With Hagrid
Title: Tea With Hagrid
Author:
that_september
Rating: PG.
Characters/Parings: Hagrid, you. Gen.
Disclaimer: It's J.K. Rowling's sandbox.
Summary: You try to sneak into the Forbidden Forest. Hagrid catches you. He talks, you drink tea with too much sugar and listen. Oneshot ficlet, written pre-DH, May 2007.
Oi, there! What d’yeh think yer doin’ out ‘ere so late? Sneakin’ into the forest, were yeh?
No, no, don’t try an’ explain yerself, no use. Lucky for yeh, I’m in a good mood. Mebbe if you just go on back up to th’ castle, I’ll forget I ever saw yeh…What’s that, eh? A dare from your friends, is it?
Well, don’t be an idjit, that fores’ is forbidden for a reason, mind, and it don’t matter none that yeh want teh be as brave as Harry Potter! Harry Potter was a righ’ little rule-breakin’ brat, don’t let no one ever tell yeh otherwise. Oh, tha’s right, I knew him. Well…mebbe. C’mon in fer a cuppa, then, I’ll tell yeh about it, I s’pose. Don’ get caught when yeh head back to the castle; more’n my job’s worth if they find out yeh were sneakin’ around an’ I didn’t do nothin’.
Mind them crates by the door! Yeah, yeah, those are fer me latest lesson. Cross ‘twixt a dragon and a-no, don’t touch ‘em, yeh moron! Wha’, you wanna get yer hand bitten clean off?
Well, go on, sit down over there. Yeh take yer tea with two sugars or three?
…Five? Blimey, yeh wan’ some tea with that sugar there, young ‘un?
Oh, righ’. Yeah, Harry an’ me were good friends. Taught ‘im everythin’ he ever knew ‘bout interestin’ creatures.
What d’yeh mean, did he really break rules? ‘Course he did! Don’t s’pose there was ever a rule Hogwarts made ‘e didn’t find a way to get ‘round.
Naw, don’ get me wrong, he was a good kid. Smart little buggers, him and his two friends were.
Oh, them? Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger-what a pair! Stuck to Harry like a coupla talkative shadows, they did!
Well, a’course they were heroes. Sometimes rules are meant t'be broken, young un’, yeh’ll understand when yer older.
…Yeah, I was there. The Las’ Battle.
Yeh know I rallied the Giants? Yep, got ‘em all organized, nice an’ official-like. Couldn’ta won anything without them.
Well, I fought too, but never got hurt. I’ve seen me fair share of battle…ain’t nothin’ ever kilt me yet. Tha’s me, good ol’ reliable Rubeus Hagrid. I’ve been around since before yer grandfather, I reckon.
Mind yer tongue, there! Don’ say the name-yeah, tha’ name. You-Know-‘Oo. Ah, yeh kids don’ understand wha’ it’s like, that kinda fear. T’me, it’s worse than a curse. Jus’…leave it alone, all righ’?
Yeah, I saw ‘im die.
Yeh ever ‘ear a Banshee?
No? Well good on yeh, Banshees screech somethin’ awful, louder’n nails on a chalkboard, they are.
Anyway, when he died, sounded worse’n a Banshee. Sounded like the world was ending.
Oh, yeah, lotsa dirt and blood and gore everywhere; it was like an explosion.
When all tha’ smoke cleared, it was jus’ Harry and Ron and Hermione standin’ there, and then Harry fell with this thud, and them other two, they dropped to the ground then, too.
Ah, it was ‘orrible. We thought they all had died.
I rushed over there meself, but-would yeh believe it?-they were laughin’. Laughin’ their heads off, tears streamin’ down their faces, rollin’ around and huggin’ each other and cacklin’ like mad. Couldn’t no one make ‘eads nor tails of it at firs’, but between yeh and me, I think they was just ‘appy to be alive. ‘Appy it was over, yeh know?
I tell yeh though, I ain’t never met no three kids braver’n them. ‘s not every day yeh look evil in th’ eye an’ win.
Ah, c’mon, don’ yeh pay attention in History o’ Magic? They been gone fer twenty years now! Walked off righ’ after that battle with Ginny Weasley, an’ nobody never heard a word from ‘em ever again.
Well…personally, I couldn’t really say where they wen’. Dumbledore knows I searched ‘igh an’ low fer a good, long while, but they don’t wanna be found, see. I jus’ think they saw things, yeh know? The sorta things that change people, make ‘em want to hide from th’ world. They deserved a rest, mind. They never woulda gotten tha’ if they’da stayed.
‘Course I miss ‘em, but they’re out there, somewhere. Not dead yet, not by a long shot. Harry, he owes me. He’ll be back to see me before I’m buried, jus’ wait an’ see.
Is what legen’ true? Ah, the one ‘bout the ghost stag that haunts the fores’? Eh, I seen it. Yeh want teh know the truth? Tha’s no ghost. Looks a lot like Harry’s Patronus, if yeh ask me. But what do I know? I’m jus’ an old man, after all.
Well, there yeh are, yeh’ve heard yer story, yeh’ve drunk yer tea. Yeh sure yeh don’ want a rock cake? C’mon, take a few. I made ‘em myself!
Yeh best be goin’ back teh the castle now, and mind yeh stay outta tha’ fores’. Tell yer friends teh come see me if they tear the mickey outta yeh; I’ll set ‘em straight.
Wha’s tha’, now? Well, sure yeh can come ‘round tomorrow, if yeh like. I don’ get too many visitors these days.
Yeah, yeah, off with you, now. G’night-oh, an’ keep to the right’a the pumpkin patch; I only jus’ let the Blast-Ended Skrewts out for a bit of a walk.
…Hah, didja see that, Fang? I ain’t never seen a kid run so fast in all me life.
Author:
that_september
Rating: PG.
Characters/Parings: Hagrid, you. Gen.
Disclaimer: It's J.K. Rowling's sandbox.
Summary: You try to sneak into the Forbidden Forest. Hagrid catches you. He talks, you drink tea with too much sugar and listen. Oneshot ficlet, written pre-DH, May 2007.
Oi, there! What d’yeh think yer doin’ out ‘ere so late? Sneakin’ into the forest, were yeh?
No, no, don’t try an’ explain yerself, no use. Lucky for yeh, I’m in a good mood. Mebbe if you just go on back up to th’ castle, I’ll forget I ever saw yeh…What’s that, eh? A dare from your friends, is it?
Well, don’t be an idjit, that fores’ is forbidden for a reason, mind, and it don’t matter none that yeh want teh be as brave as Harry Potter! Harry Potter was a righ’ little rule-breakin’ brat, don’t let no one ever tell yeh otherwise. Oh, tha’s right, I knew him. Well…mebbe. C’mon in fer a cuppa, then, I’ll tell yeh about it, I s’pose. Don’ get caught when yeh head back to the castle; more’n my job’s worth if they find out yeh were sneakin’ around an’ I didn’t do nothin’.
Mind them crates by the door! Yeah, yeah, those are fer me latest lesson. Cross ‘twixt a dragon and a-no, don’t touch ‘em, yeh moron! Wha’, you wanna get yer hand bitten clean off?
Well, go on, sit down over there. Yeh take yer tea with two sugars or three?
…Five? Blimey, yeh wan’ some tea with that sugar there, young ‘un?
Oh, righ’. Yeah, Harry an’ me were good friends. Taught ‘im everythin’ he ever knew ‘bout interestin’ creatures.
What d’yeh mean, did he really break rules? ‘Course he did! Don’t s’pose there was ever a rule Hogwarts made ‘e didn’t find a way to get ‘round.
Naw, don’ get me wrong, he was a good kid. Smart little buggers, him and his two friends were.
Oh, them? Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger-what a pair! Stuck to Harry like a coupla talkative shadows, they did!
Well, a’course they were heroes. Sometimes rules are meant t'be broken, young un’, yeh’ll understand when yer older.
…Yeah, I was there. The Las’ Battle.
Yeh know I rallied the Giants? Yep, got ‘em all organized, nice an’ official-like. Couldn’ta won anything without them.
Well, I fought too, but never got hurt. I’ve seen me fair share of battle…ain’t nothin’ ever kilt me yet. Tha’s me, good ol’ reliable Rubeus Hagrid. I’ve been around since before yer grandfather, I reckon.
Mind yer tongue, there! Don’ say the name-yeah, tha’ name. You-Know-‘Oo. Ah, yeh kids don’ understand wha’ it’s like, that kinda fear. T’me, it’s worse than a curse. Jus’…leave it alone, all righ’?
Yeah, I saw ‘im die.
Yeh ever ‘ear a Banshee?
No? Well good on yeh, Banshees screech somethin’ awful, louder’n nails on a chalkboard, they are.
Anyway, when he died, sounded worse’n a Banshee. Sounded like the world was ending.
Oh, yeah, lotsa dirt and blood and gore everywhere; it was like an explosion.
When all tha’ smoke cleared, it was jus’ Harry and Ron and Hermione standin’ there, and then Harry fell with this thud, and them other two, they dropped to the ground then, too.
Ah, it was ‘orrible. We thought they all had died.
I rushed over there meself, but-would yeh believe it?-they were laughin’. Laughin’ their heads off, tears streamin’ down their faces, rollin’ around and huggin’ each other and cacklin’ like mad. Couldn’t no one make ‘eads nor tails of it at firs’, but between yeh and me, I think they was just ‘appy to be alive. ‘Appy it was over, yeh know?
I tell yeh though, I ain’t never met no three kids braver’n them. ‘s not every day yeh look evil in th’ eye an’ win.
Ah, c’mon, don’ yeh pay attention in History o’ Magic? They been gone fer twenty years now! Walked off righ’ after that battle with Ginny Weasley, an’ nobody never heard a word from ‘em ever again.
Well…personally, I couldn’t really say where they wen’. Dumbledore knows I searched ‘igh an’ low fer a good, long while, but they don’t wanna be found, see. I jus’ think they saw things, yeh know? The sorta things that change people, make ‘em want to hide from th’ world. They deserved a rest, mind. They never woulda gotten tha’ if they’da stayed.
‘Course I miss ‘em, but they’re out there, somewhere. Not dead yet, not by a long shot. Harry, he owes me. He’ll be back to see me before I’m buried, jus’ wait an’ see.
Is what legen’ true? Ah, the one ‘bout the ghost stag that haunts the fores’? Eh, I seen it. Yeh want teh know the truth? Tha’s no ghost. Looks a lot like Harry’s Patronus, if yeh ask me. But what do I know? I’m jus’ an old man, after all.
Well, there yeh are, yeh’ve heard yer story, yeh’ve drunk yer tea. Yeh sure yeh don’ want a rock cake? C’mon, take a few. I made ‘em myself!
Yeh best be goin’ back teh the castle now, and mind yeh stay outta tha’ fores’. Tell yer friends teh come see me if they tear the mickey outta yeh; I’ll set ‘em straight.
Wha’s tha’, now? Well, sure yeh can come ‘round tomorrow, if yeh like. I don’ get too many visitors these days.
Yeah, yeah, off with you, now. G’night-oh, an’ keep to the right’a the pumpkin patch; I only jus’ let the Blast-Ended Skrewts out for a bit of a walk.
…Hah, didja see that, Fang? I ain’t never seen a kid run so fast in all me life.