'At Night, Alone' [Philip Shea/Lukas Waldenbeck]
Title: "At Night, Alone"
Author: that_1_incident
Fandom: "Eyewitness"
Pairing: Philip Shea/Lukas Waldenbeck
Rating: R
Word Count: ~1,650
Warnings: Sexual themes.
Summary: What might have happened if Philip and Lukas weren't interrupted by those super-inconsiderate bikers and their guns.
Disclaimer: I took the premise of this and much of the dialogue from "Eyewitness" 1x1. Also, if I had any legit involvement with "Eyewitness" then the whole show would be Waldenshea. Like, is it bad that I don't care about this murderer dude at all?
Author's Notes: I named this fic after Mike Posner's latest album to show Avicii I was cool. (Cross-posted to AO3.)
---<---<---@
So it's basically a miracle that Philip's phone even gets a signal out at Lukas' dad's cabin, but Lukas is so excited about the new footage that he doesn't want to be a downer by telling the other boy that the video's uploading to YouTube at a snail's pace. Philip's just glad to see Lukas so buzzed about getting to follow his passion and impress his sponsors, with the eventual goal of going pro and doing what he loves as his job. It's, like, the ultimate dream, and Lukas is so wrapped up in chasing it that he didn't think twice when Philip approached him after math class and said he was into Motocross too - didn't ask any questions about his favorite tricks or personalities (which would have totally exposed Philip as a fraud), but simply said, "Dude, that's awesome; you should shoot for me sometime."
Philip had looked at the other boy's high cheekbones and floppy hair, felt a familiar thrill deep in his chest, and thought, This will end badly. Then he imagined himself sitting on the back of Lukas' bike, hands planted firmly on the other boy's slim hips, and said, "Sure."
--
Lukas grabs the lone beer from the cabin's mini fridge, and they split the bottle as they sit side by side on the twin bed pressed up against a wall. Philip glances down at his phone, reloads the video, and tries not to think about how Lukas' lips are touching the head of the bottle - the same place where his own had been pressed moments before.
"Hey, how many hits did I get?"
There's anxiety in Lukas' voice, and Philip figures the endorphins must be wearing off. Thanks to his mom, he knows what a comedown looks like. He forces himself to focus on the screen.
"Uh… 22 in less than five minutes. That's not bad, actually."
"No, damn, that's good!" Lukas exclaims, sounding pleased. "Any comments?"
His girlfriend left one, and although Philip resists the urge to roll his eyes, he can't quite manage to keep the mockery entirely out of his tone.
"Rose says that you're… dope," he informs Lukas, complete with dramatic pause, popping the P for full effect, and Lukas looks mildly uncomfortable.
Philip's noticed that Rose often seems to have that effect on him, both in person and simply as a topic of conversation, but, hey, given his feelings for Lukas, he's not exactly in any position to be objective. He changes the subject.
"You know that kid Tommy at school? He has a DSLR and I'm gonna borrow it. The resolution on it is so sick. It's so much better than this."
Lukas takes the phone and intently watches the miniature version of himself fly through the air.
"My sponsors are gonna flip out over this."
"Really?" Philip sets the beer bottle on the floor. "It's that good?"
"Yeah, it's amazing. I've never had footage this good."
Philip reaches for his phone, brushing Lukas' hand in the process. When Lukas stutters at the contact, his heart skips a beat.
"I mean, it's… you're… I mean, you're amazing. I mean, you're awesome."
There's something raw in his voice, something Philip's never heard from him before, and the way Lukas is looking at him is…
There's no way, no way he ever thought Lukas would be into him, but here he is, eyes flickering between Philip's eyes and his lips, an unmistakable invitation, so Philip leans in - and Lukas slaps him away.
"What the hell are you doing?!"
Philip wipes his mouth and refuses to meet Lukas' eyes. His stomach is in knots - he's never misinterpreted someone so badly before.
"Nothing. I'm not…" He looks at the floor, the ceiling, anywhere but at Lukas. The bed moves beside him, and he's pretty sure it's Lukas putting his head in his hands.
"So, uh, it's - so I, I got a ton of air on those jumps, huh?" Lukas asks after a few seconds of silence. He's trying so hard to sound casual, and the strain is coming through loud and clear.
"Yeah."
"Those whips aren't easy," Lukas persists.
"I didn't say they were."
Philip hates facades, hates small talk and fake-smiling and pretending things are cool when they're not. Another side effect of being the son of a junkie, he supposes. You just get burned out from that shit after a while.
"I thought you were into Motocross," Lukas says quietly, and he's so dumb. Straight boys are so dumb.
"No," Philip responds. He actually manages to look at Lukas for a second. "I'm not, actually, so…"
He stands up from the bed, jamming his hands into his pockets. He just wants to get out of there - out of the cabin, out of Tivoli, back to the city where he belongs. He's pretty sure he's the only gay kid in school, which was almost fine when no one knew about it, but now Lukas is going to blow up his spot.
"Hey, no, hey. Hey. Sit down."
Lukas touches his arm, simultaneously tentative and determined, and Philip doesn't know where he's going with this Katy Perry shit but he's hot and he's cold and Philip's not into it. Then he grasps Philip's sleeve tighter, touches Philip's jaw with his hand, and Philip looks at him apprehensively, wondering how the hell he's supposed to misinterpret this.
The press of Lukas' lips lasts a second - not even - and it's barely a kiss, but it's electric. They stare at each other for a moment, and the second kiss is a real one, a deep one, then Lukas lets out this quiet, disbelieving exhalation, and so is the third.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa." Lukas pulls back, hands still cupping Philip's face, and glances nervously out of the window. "What if someone sees us?"
Philip almost laughs.
"What, like a squirrel?"
"No one's gonna know about this." Lukas' eyes are wide and serious, and Philip's smile dies on his lips. "Because you're never gonna tell them."
The last thing Philip needs in his life is a closet case. He's got a mom on drugs and two foster parents who are overcompensating, not to mention a mysterious yet alluring loner status to cultivate at school. But at the risk of sounding totally lame, none of that seems to matter when Lukas' face is mere inches away, when Lukas' kiss is still burning on his lips. He shakes his head wordlessly, and Lukas leans in again.
--
The sun sets while they're not looking, fixated as they are on exploring each other's mouths, tugging at each other's hair, angling themselves against each other on the narrow bed in the cold cabin. By the time night falls, their shirts are off and Lukas is on top, mapping Philip's chest with his hands and lips like he's never done this with a guy before. He probably hasn't, Philip realizes dazedly, but it's hard to focus on thinking coherent thoughts right now.
Somehow, Philip maneuvers a hand into his back pocket and emerges with a condom.
"Hey," he says breathlessly, holding it up, and Lukas recoils like it's poison.
"Are you kidding me? I'm not doing that," he insists, but he's still straddling Philip, his hard-on pressing against Philip's left leg.
"Sorry," Philip says anyway, "just… everyone in the city carries one."
Lukas looks like a deer in headlights. "You've done this before?"
"Yeah. It's OK," Philip offers, and Lukas swallows hard. "It's OK."
He pulls Lukas toward him and Lukas acquiesces, lets Philip kiss his Adam's apple and palm his ass through his jeans. Philip can tell part of him wants this, but there's an indecision in his body language, a disconcerting stop-start in the intensity of his kisses. Philip wants nothing more than to feel Lukas inside him, to ride the wave together, to cling to the other boy like he did on the bike, but instead he slides his hand into his jeans and wraps his fingers around himself.
Lukas stops kissing him for a few seconds and Philip half-thinks he's going to bolt, speed off on his bike and leave Philip with nothing but spotty cell service and Google Maps to guide him home, but then Lukas reaches into his own jeans and buries his head in Philip's shoulder. Philip can feel the other boy's breath against his clavicle, Lukas' hot gasps coming in tandem with the strokes of his hand. There are too many layers between them, not enough skin against skin, but it's Lukas, the guy Philip lied to about liking Motocross just so they could spend some time together, and now he's above Philip, trembling.
When Philip lifts his free hand to Lukas' waistband and strokes the soft skin he finds at Lukas' hip, it almost feels like the other boy relaxes. As they kiss each other sloppily, Philip guides Lukas' rhythm, pressing gently as Lukas ruts into his hand. Philip's not going to last much longer, and he doesn't think Lukas is either.
He can tell when Lukas is getting close because Lukas panics, his eyes huge and fearful, like he's suddenly realized he's at the point of no return. In a move that feels weirdly chaste, Philip kisses him on the forehead, and a few thrusts after that, Lukas bites his lip and freezes. He comes with an eerie stillness, but the ecstasy that flashes across his face is enough to push Philip over the edge with a soft moan.
As they both catch their breaths, Lukas is sprawled on top of Philip, his head pressed against Philip's upper torso. Philip doesn't know what to say - what this means for Lukas, for him, for what comes after - and No one's gonna know about this echoes inside his head. He hates hiding, hates it, but for now he just slides his arm up Lukas' back and pulls the other boy close.
---<---<---@
Author: that_1_incident
Fandom: "Eyewitness"
Pairing: Philip Shea/Lukas Waldenbeck
Rating: R
Word Count: ~1,650
Warnings: Sexual themes.
Summary: What might have happened if Philip and Lukas weren't interrupted by those super-inconsiderate bikers and their guns.
Disclaimer: I took the premise of this and much of the dialogue from "Eyewitness" 1x1. Also, if I had any legit involvement with "Eyewitness" then the whole show would be Waldenshea. Like, is it bad that I don't care about this murderer dude at all?
Author's Notes: I named this fic after Mike Posner's latest album to show Avicii I was cool. (Cross-posted to AO3.)
---<---<---@
So it's basically a miracle that Philip's phone even gets a signal out at Lukas' dad's cabin, but Lukas is so excited about the new footage that he doesn't want to be a downer by telling the other boy that the video's uploading to YouTube at a snail's pace. Philip's just glad to see Lukas so buzzed about getting to follow his passion and impress his sponsors, with the eventual goal of going pro and doing what he loves as his job. It's, like, the ultimate dream, and Lukas is so wrapped up in chasing it that he didn't think twice when Philip approached him after math class and said he was into Motocross too - didn't ask any questions about his favorite tricks or personalities (which would have totally exposed Philip as a fraud), but simply said, "Dude, that's awesome; you should shoot for me sometime."
Philip had looked at the other boy's high cheekbones and floppy hair, felt a familiar thrill deep in his chest, and thought, This will end badly. Then he imagined himself sitting on the back of Lukas' bike, hands planted firmly on the other boy's slim hips, and said, "Sure."
--
Lukas grabs the lone beer from the cabin's mini fridge, and they split the bottle as they sit side by side on the twin bed pressed up against a wall. Philip glances down at his phone, reloads the video, and tries not to think about how Lukas' lips are touching the head of the bottle - the same place where his own had been pressed moments before.
"Hey, how many hits did I get?"
There's anxiety in Lukas' voice, and Philip figures the endorphins must be wearing off. Thanks to his mom, he knows what a comedown looks like. He forces himself to focus on the screen.
"Uh… 22 in less than five minutes. That's not bad, actually."
"No, damn, that's good!" Lukas exclaims, sounding pleased. "Any comments?"
His girlfriend left one, and although Philip resists the urge to roll his eyes, he can't quite manage to keep the mockery entirely out of his tone.
"Rose says that you're… dope," he informs Lukas, complete with dramatic pause, popping the P for full effect, and Lukas looks mildly uncomfortable.
Philip's noticed that Rose often seems to have that effect on him, both in person and simply as a topic of conversation, but, hey, given his feelings for Lukas, he's not exactly in any position to be objective. He changes the subject.
"You know that kid Tommy at school? He has a DSLR and I'm gonna borrow it. The resolution on it is so sick. It's so much better than this."
Lukas takes the phone and intently watches the miniature version of himself fly through the air.
"My sponsors are gonna flip out over this."
"Really?" Philip sets the beer bottle on the floor. "It's that good?"
"Yeah, it's amazing. I've never had footage this good."
Philip reaches for his phone, brushing Lukas' hand in the process. When Lukas stutters at the contact, his heart skips a beat.
"I mean, it's… you're… I mean, you're amazing. I mean, you're awesome."
There's something raw in his voice, something Philip's never heard from him before, and the way Lukas is looking at him is…
There's no way, no way he ever thought Lukas would be into him, but here he is, eyes flickering between Philip's eyes and his lips, an unmistakable invitation, so Philip leans in - and Lukas slaps him away.
"What the hell are you doing?!"
Philip wipes his mouth and refuses to meet Lukas' eyes. His stomach is in knots - he's never misinterpreted someone so badly before.
"Nothing. I'm not…" He looks at the floor, the ceiling, anywhere but at Lukas. The bed moves beside him, and he's pretty sure it's Lukas putting his head in his hands.
"So, uh, it's - so I, I got a ton of air on those jumps, huh?" Lukas asks after a few seconds of silence. He's trying so hard to sound casual, and the strain is coming through loud and clear.
"Yeah."
"Those whips aren't easy," Lukas persists.
"I didn't say they were."
Philip hates facades, hates small talk and fake-smiling and pretending things are cool when they're not. Another side effect of being the son of a junkie, he supposes. You just get burned out from that shit after a while.
"I thought you were into Motocross," Lukas says quietly, and he's so dumb. Straight boys are so dumb.
"No," Philip responds. He actually manages to look at Lukas for a second. "I'm not, actually, so…"
He stands up from the bed, jamming his hands into his pockets. He just wants to get out of there - out of the cabin, out of Tivoli, back to the city where he belongs. He's pretty sure he's the only gay kid in school, which was almost fine when no one knew about it, but now Lukas is going to blow up his spot.
"Hey, no, hey. Hey. Sit down."
Lukas touches his arm, simultaneously tentative and determined, and Philip doesn't know where he's going with this Katy Perry shit but he's hot and he's cold and Philip's not into it. Then he grasps Philip's sleeve tighter, touches Philip's jaw with his hand, and Philip looks at him apprehensively, wondering how the hell he's supposed to misinterpret this.
The press of Lukas' lips lasts a second - not even - and it's barely a kiss, but it's electric. They stare at each other for a moment, and the second kiss is a real one, a deep one, then Lukas lets out this quiet, disbelieving exhalation, and so is the third.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa." Lukas pulls back, hands still cupping Philip's face, and glances nervously out of the window. "What if someone sees us?"
Philip almost laughs.
"What, like a squirrel?"
"No one's gonna know about this." Lukas' eyes are wide and serious, and Philip's smile dies on his lips. "Because you're never gonna tell them."
The last thing Philip needs in his life is a closet case. He's got a mom on drugs and two foster parents who are overcompensating, not to mention a mysterious yet alluring loner status to cultivate at school. But at the risk of sounding totally lame, none of that seems to matter when Lukas' face is mere inches away, when Lukas' kiss is still burning on his lips. He shakes his head wordlessly, and Lukas leans in again.
--
The sun sets while they're not looking, fixated as they are on exploring each other's mouths, tugging at each other's hair, angling themselves against each other on the narrow bed in the cold cabin. By the time night falls, their shirts are off and Lukas is on top, mapping Philip's chest with his hands and lips like he's never done this with a guy before. He probably hasn't, Philip realizes dazedly, but it's hard to focus on thinking coherent thoughts right now.
Somehow, Philip maneuvers a hand into his back pocket and emerges with a condom.
"Hey," he says breathlessly, holding it up, and Lukas recoils like it's poison.
"Are you kidding me? I'm not doing that," he insists, but he's still straddling Philip, his hard-on pressing against Philip's left leg.
"Sorry," Philip says anyway, "just… everyone in the city carries one."
Lukas looks like a deer in headlights. "You've done this before?"
"Yeah. It's OK," Philip offers, and Lukas swallows hard. "It's OK."
He pulls Lukas toward him and Lukas acquiesces, lets Philip kiss his Adam's apple and palm his ass through his jeans. Philip can tell part of him wants this, but there's an indecision in his body language, a disconcerting stop-start in the intensity of his kisses. Philip wants nothing more than to feel Lukas inside him, to ride the wave together, to cling to the other boy like he did on the bike, but instead he slides his hand into his jeans and wraps his fingers around himself.
Lukas stops kissing him for a few seconds and Philip half-thinks he's going to bolt, speed off on his bike and leave Philip with nothing but spotty cell service and Google Maps to guide him home, but then Lukas reaches into his own jeans and buries his head in Philip's shoulder. Philip can feel the other boy's breath against his clavicle, Lukas' hot gasps coming in tandem with the strokes of his hand. There are too many layers between them, not enough skin against skin, but it's Lukas, the guy Philip lied to about liking Motocross just so they could spend some time together, and now he's above Philip, trembling.
When Philip lifts his free hand to Lukas' waistband and strokes the soft skin he finds at Lukas' hip, it almost feels like the other boy relaxes. As they kiss each other sloppily, Philip guides Lukas' rhythm, pressing gently as Lukas ruts into his hand. Philip's not going to last much longer, and he doesn't think Lukas is either.
He can tell when Lukas is getting close because Lukas panics, his eyes huge and fearful, like he's suddenly realized he's at the point of no return. In a move that feels weirdly chaste, Philip kisses him on the forehead, and a few thrusts after that, Lukas bites his lip and freezes. He comes with an eerie stillness, but the ecstasy that flashes across his face is enough to push Philip over the edge with a soft moan.
As they both catch their breaths, Lukas is sprawled on top of Philip, his head pressed against Philip's upper torso. Philip doesn't know what to say - what this means for Lukas, for him, for what comes after - and No one's gonna know about this echoes inside his head. He hates hiding, hates it, but for now he just slides his arm up Lukas' back and pulls the other boy close.
---<---<---@