SV Weekly Episodic Madness: Hug (S1.11)
To recap: goth_clark and I thought it would be cool for SV fen to revisit the show from start to finish, sharing thoughts on the episode, writing stories, drooling in tandem, so that's what this is about: anyone out there, f-listed or not, is invited to partake of the joy that is Hug.
Hug is the most misleading episode title in history, because where's all the damn hugging? It sets you up for some crazy Krypto-virus that unleashes a mad rampage of wild embraces, the SV denizens engaged in a frenzy of snuggling that, naturally, leads to lots of sex, Clark with his legs wrapped around Lex's waist, his arms around Lex's neck, the loft floor squeaking, hay seed billowing, Lex whispering, Finally, finally...
Um. Okay, maybe that's just me, but you know what I mean, right? Surely there's an early version of the script where meteoric mind-changers Bob Rickman, toxic-waster, and Kyle Tippett, hermit-artist, worked their mojo through enthusiasitc cuddling, not a bland handshake, only Al&Miles got their homophobic freak on and kiboshed the potential queerfest. Fortunately, stamping out the gay on Smallville is like flicking water from Prufrockian coffee spoons at a forest fire. Utterly hopeless, baby.
On the other hand, maybe I've been too literal-minded, and Hug is so-called because the characters all desperately need one at some point in the episode. Consider the case of that Adonis in flannel, the ever-lovely, ever-helpful downhome hottie, Clark Kent. Lana gets it in her head that Kyle Tippett must be evil because he's different, and that Clark's willingness to consider otherwise indicates a betrayal of her delightful self. To make matters worse, she champions Whitney over Clark, holding up her boyfriend as a model of masculine asskickage, though, as Clark reminds her, He strung me up in a field. The conversation continues:
Lana: So that’s what this is about ? You haven’t forgiven him.
Clark: Lana, I just think there’s something else going on here.
Lana: Yeah, there is. You’re looking for an excuse to knock Whitney. You know what he’s going through with his dad. If you don’t like him, just say it. Don’t pretend to be his friend.
Ouch! Who else wants to tie Lana to a cross in the freezing night and stand beside her doing crow-calls? To make Clark even more hug-needy, Rickman uses his Krypto-grip to convince Jonathan to sell the farm. But that's nothing compared to the episode's climax, when Rickman gives Lex and Uzi and sends Clark's one true love on a murderous mission to turn Clark into alien Swiss cheese. Clark has to watch Lex in full-blown evil mode, which includes trying to fry him alive, before spraying him with bullets that, as we see later, leave him covered with fist-sized bruises.
On the other hand, Lex has spent the previous forty-five minutes proving that his love is the stuff of fangirl dreams, a love so big and gay that even George W. was holed up in the Oval Office penning an epic poem in their honor. (It's tentatively titled, The Lexiad: Or How I Realized that Gay was Good, and will soon be available from Torquere Press. Get your orders in now!) Clark, realizing that Kyle's basically misunderstood, rescues him from jail, and takes him to Lex's place. The beauty of this? Lex doesn't even ask why, just helps automatically, naturally, lovingly, obsessed-with-Clarkedly. How can I say this when we're not shown what happens when Clark shows up with Kyle in his arms? Because Lex asks him later, when the doctor's sewn up Kyle and things have calmed down, saying, I'm curious. Why did you think I'd be willing to harbor a fugitive? Clark tells him gay straight: I figured my parents would freak. And if I took him to a hospital, they'd put him back in jail. You're the only one I could trust. And that's the end of that. God, couldn't you just swoon? And, as if that weren't sweet enough, Clark leaves Luthor Manor wearing his boyfriend's shirt, at Lex's insistence. Anyone want to consider how the missing changing-of-the-shirt scene played out? Oh, momma.
Wait! There's more, the gayest ending of a show since...Well, ever. Clark and Lex standing together at the loft window, the sun setting, the two of them post-coitally blissful, and their final words are a goddamn declaration. Clark, bruised but brimming with love, says, It’s still strange to think that he and Rickman were once best friends. Think we’ll ever end up like that?, to which Lex replies, starry-eyed, Trust me, Clark. Our friendship is going to be the stuff of legends. What can you do except topple over and roll on the floor, squeeing like a thirteen-year-old girl? Ahem. So, does Clark need a hug? He's sending out such powerful rays of happiness that Jonathan'll be popping by with his shotgun any minute.
Then there's Lex himself. Does he need a hug? Normally, I'd say, no, scream, Yes!!!! Except that, as far as episodes go, this one goes blissfully well for Lex: he finds out that Clark trusts him more than anyone in the world, that Clark considers them best friends 4evah, and he doesn't have any unhappy memories of going Rambo on Clark's ass to mess with his happy. Honestly, if you ask Lex to name the best days of his life, he'll pick the time Bob Rickman came to town.
Our two heroes, then, don't really need the hugs beyond the ones they give each other. That doesn't hold true, however, for the minor characters. Ol' Vics Hardwick needs one helluva big hug: her supposed boyfriend's cheating on her with the prettiest boy in the land, and even the writers hate her enough to give her only a single line in the entire episode. And, just for a laugh, do you remember what that line is? I'll leave you boys alone. Bwhahahaha! Okay, she's speaking to Lex and Rickman, but still. She knows that she's not wanted. I have to wonder if Vics hunkered down somewhere with Pete, her one-line soulmate--his is, What do you think they have in common?--where they bitched about Lex until Vics caught sight of Pete's muscled stomach, and thought, If underage sex is good enough for Lex...
Then there's poor Chloe, the litmus test for Clark's sexual orientation. When she challenges Kyle for evidence that he has Krypto powers, he tells her that she has feelings for Clark, and must act on them. Chloe, a pretty, smart girl, plants an enthusiastic kiss on Clark, who...Looks like Ron Weasley when he slaps the slug curse on himself. You can practically hear Clark thinking, Ew! Girl cooties! Ptooie!, and you just *know* that later on Clark will be looking at Lex, thinking, How come I still want Lex to kiss me, when I clearly don't like kissing...Oh, wow. Because. This means I'm... So, yes, Chloe does need a hug right about now. Sorry, girlfriend, but why not go join the orgy of under-age mayhem taking place under the football bleachers? Vics seems like an open-minded girl, and Pete's got that crush on you...
Hug is yet another episode that represents the golden age of Smallville. You've got yer Gay Love, an interesting anti-hero in Kyle Tippett (who's rewarded for this by being the only Krypto-freak who isn't either killed or sent to Belle Reve), some intriguing hints of Lex's Club Zero, great justification against stupid Al&Miles and co.'s argument that the Lana-hate isn't justified...If I were reviewing this episode a la Ebert and Roeper, misleading title aside, I'd give it two cocks up.
As always, comments are welcome!
Hug is the most misleading episode title in history, because where's all the damn hugging? It sets you up for some crazy Krypto-virus that unleashes a mad rampage of wild embraces, the SV denizens engaged in a frenzy of snuggling that, naturally, leads to lots of sex, Clark with his legs wrapped around Lex's waist, his arms around Lex's neck, the loft floor squeaking, hay seed billowing, Lex whispering, Finally, finally...
Um. Okay, maybe that's just me, but you know what I mean, right? Surely there's an early version of the script where meteoric mind-changers Bob Rickman, toxic-waster, and Kyle Tippett, hermit-artist, worked their mojo through enthusiasitc cuddling, not a bland handshake, only Al&Miles got their homophobic freak on and kiboshed the potential queerfest. Fortunately, stamping out the gay on Smallville is like flicking water from Prufrockian coffee spoons at a forest fire. Utterly hopeless, baby.
On the other hand, maybe I've been too literal-minded, and Hug is so-called because the characters all desperately need one at some point in the episode. Consider the case of that Adonis in flannel, the ever-lovely, ever-helpful downhome hottie, Clark Kent. Lana gets it in her head that Kyle Tippett must be evil because he's different, and that Clark's willingness to consider otherwise indicates a betrayal of her delightful self. To make matters worse, she champions Whitney over Clark, holding up her boyfriend as a model of masculine asskickage, though, as Clark reminds her, He strung me up in a field. The conversation continues:
Lana: So that’s what this is about ? You haven’t forgiven him.
Clark: Lana, I just think there’s something else going on here.
Lana: Yeah, there is. You’re looking for an excuse to knock Whitney. You know what he’s going through with his dad. If you don’t like him, just say it. Don’t pretend to be his friend.
Ouch! Who else wants to tie Lana to a cross in the freezing night and stand beside her doing crow-calls? To make Clark even more hug-needy, Rickman uses his Krypto-grip to convince Jonathan to sell the farm. But that's nothing compared to the episode's climax, when Rickman gives Lex and Uzi and sends Clark's one true love on a murderous mission to turn Clark into alien Swiss cheese. Clark has to watch Lex in full-blown evil mode, which includes trying to fry him alive, before spraying him with bullets that, as we see later, leave him covered with fist-sized bruises.
On the other hand, Lex has spent the previous forty-five minutes proving that his love is the stuff of fangirl dreams, a love so big and gay that even George W. was holed up in the Oval Office penning an epic poem in their honor. (It's tentatively titled, The Lexiad: Or How I Realized that Gay was Good, and will soon be available from Torquere Press. Get your orders in now!) Clark, realizing that Kyle's basically misunderstood, rescues him from jail, and takes him to Lex's place. The beauty of this? Lex doesn't even ask why, just helps automatically, naturally, lovingly, obsessed-with-Clarkedly. How can I say this when we're not shown what happens when Clark shows up with Kyle in his arms? Because Lex asks him later, when the doctor's sewn up Kyle and things have calmed down, saying, I'm curious. Why did you think I'd be willing to harbor a fugitive? Clark tells him gay straight: I figured my parents would freak. And if I took him to a hospital, they'd put him back in jail. You're the only one I could trust. And that's the end of that. God, couldn't you just swoon? And, as if that weren't sweet enough, Clark leaves Luthor Manor wearing his boyfriend's shirt, at Lex's insistence. Anyone want to consider how the missing changing-of-the-shirt scene played out? Oh, momma.
Wait! There's more, the gayest ending of a show since...Well, ever. Clark and Lex standing together at the loft window, the sun setting, the two of them post-coitally blissful, and their final words are a goddamn declaration. Clark, bruised but brimming with love, says, It’s still strange to think that he and Rickman were once best friends. Think we’ll ever end up like that?, to which Lex replies, starry-eyed, Trust me, Clark. Our friendship is going to be the stuff of legends. What can you do except topple over and roll on the floor, squeeing like a thirteen-year-old girl? Ahem. So, does Clark need a hug? He's sending out such powerful rays of happiness that Jonathan'll be popping by with his shotgun any minute.
Then there's Lex himself. Does he need a hug? Normally, I'd say, no, scream, Yes!!!! Except that, as far as episodes go, this one goes blissfully well for Lex: he finds out that Clark trusts him more than anyone in the world, that Clark considers them best friends 4evah, and he doesn't have any unhappy memories of going Rambo on Clark's ass to mess with his happy. Honestly, if you ask Lex to name the best days of his life, he'll pick the time Bob Rickman came to town.
Our two heroes, then, don't really need the hugs beyond the ones they give each other. That doesn't hold true, however, for the minor characters. Ol' Vics Hardwick needs one helluva big hug: her supposed boyfriend's cheating on her with the prettiest boy in the land, and even the writers hate her enough to give her only a single line in the entire episode. And, just for a laugh, do you remember what that line is? I'll leave you boys alone. Bwhahahaha! Okay, she's speaking to Lex and Rickman, but still. She knows that she's not wanted. I have to wonder if Vics hunkered down somewhere with Pete, her one-line soulmate--his is, What do you think they have in common?--where they bitched about Lex until Vics caught sight of Pete's muscled stomach, and thought, If underage sex is good enough for Lex...
Then there's poor Chloe, the litmus test for Clark's sexual orientation. When she challenges Kyle for evidence that he has Krypto powers, he tells her that she has feelings for Clark, and must act on them. Chloe, a pretty, smart girl, plants an enthusiastic kiss on Clark, who...Looks like Ron Weasley when he slaps the slug curse on himself. You can practically hear Clark thinking, Ew! Girl cooties! Ptooie!, and you just *know* that later on Clark will be looking at Lex, thinking, How come I still want Lex to kiss me, when I clearly don't like kissing...Oh, wow. Because. This means I'm... So, yes, Chloe does need a hug right about now. Sorry, girlfriend, but why not go join the orgy of under-age mayhem taking place under the football bleachers? Vics seems like an open-minded girl, and Pete's got that crush on you...
Hug is yet another episode that represents the golden age of Smallville. You've got yer Gay Love, an interesting anti-hero in Kyle Tippett (who's rewarded for this by being the only Krypto-freak who isn't either killed or sent to Belle Reve), some intriguing hints of Lex's Club Zero, great justification against stupid Al&Miles and co.'s argument that the Lana-hate isn't justified...If I were reviewing this episode a la Ebert and Roeper, misleading title aside, I'd give it two cocks up.
As always, comments are welcome!