Maleness vs. Masculinity

Mar 21, 2010 12:11

One of the most difficult things about this whole issue is what it means to want to "be a man".

tl;dr: gender != gender role )

insta-man in a can, what the hell am i anyway

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thaddeusdagan March 27 2010, 19:47:41 UTC
Our culture has a pretty dysfunctional relationship with gender and sexuality, doesn't it? These are some of the kinds of things I'm hoping to talk over with the therapist.

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dancingsinging April 10 2010, 06:03:26 UTC
Whoa. Yes, thank you for putting down these thoughts. It helps me see more clearly some of how this is complicated and painful.

If it helps, I'd love to get together for an in-person visit, and I'm pretty sure that I would perceive you as a man if you told me that's what you are and I made the effort to stay conscious of it (which of course I would!).

I know the analogy is not a perfect one by a long shot, but I've been finding that having a few friends who accept and embrace my identity as a lesbian/pansexual polyamorist helps me tremendously as I try to address the tension between this identity and my straight/monogamously-married lifestyle & identity. It's not a permanent solution, but it's keeping me breathing, you know?

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thaddeusdagan April 14 2010, 15:33:13 UTC
Yes, I've found that giving myself room to be a man - this journal, a few friends who know, meeting new friends online as an "out" transguy, presenting as a man when I'm home alone - is a big help while I sort the other stuff out. Like you said, it keeps me breathing - despite the binder. :p

And like I said, I'll give you a call next week and we'll get together - I'm looking forward to seeing you again!

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