So I'm backstage after a show at the Viper Room. In walk 16 of the hottest groupies I've ever seen, wearing nothing but kimonos and body glitter. I mean we're doing zippos, zoomers, jalapeno poppers, you name it. Suddenly one of the twins starts yelling at me, "Oh My God! Your eyes are bleeding!" So they rush me to the hospital where I was ( Read more... )

I went to the dentist today. They used a sandblaster type thing on my teeth and I now have white powdery substance in my hair and my shirt and in my lungs. But it was worth it because my teeth sparkle and shine. My dentist was 23 and kinda hot, in a, I'm a dentist and while you were drinking beer and playing grab ass I was studying to become ( Read more... )

the great Blizzard of '05 is coming and Tara refuses to go the store to get supplies. In fact, shes going to a bar to get drunk. MY GOD!! IS SHE CRAZY!? I'd go but my car is buried in an 8ft drift. Fortunately I have 15 boxes of pop tarts, mexican penicillen and a great romance novel ( Read more... )

So I went to the doctor today to get a full-on physical. We skipped the prostate and the STD check, because those are painful and I treat my body like a nice antique vase'. Anyway he found abnormalties in my liver and I'm going to die ( Read more... )

Ok, whos driving?

The Great American Beer Festival
Denver, CO Colorado Convention Center
Sept 29th - Oct 1st
1,500 different beers

Tony, this could be the big one we've been talking about for years

Dear Ian,

In your face.

Love,
the Seahawks.

When someone important to you decides they no longer enjoy your sight, words, etc.. and wants you out of their life, you get kinda sad and think they'll be greatly missed. But then a little later you realize that you just don't care. Once that happens, all you really want is ice cream. Mmmmmmmm.

Tara just got home and she smells like an ashtray. Meanwhile I've been here, taking too much cold medicine and having delirious AIM conversations with Chrissy that make no sense. What a night!!!

I would like to retract my earlier posting where I referred to Dave Wombatman as a "deadbeat". I was wrong and he is in fact NOT a deadbeat. I apologize with all my hearts. Thank you and God Bless.

Woo-hoo! I got the call to meet with the Omaha Police Chief. It's set for Thurs Jan 6th, which is the day after I go to the dentist. So between my charm, my hair and sparkling white teeth I'll be pulling over MarQ for drunk driving in no time ( Read more... )