Comments | tf_rare_pairing: the Proposal. Prime & Starscream. One Shot.

v_for_vincent in tf_rare_pairing

the Proposal. Prime & Starscream. One Shot.

Jan 09, 2010 03:38

Rare Pairings

Title: the Proposal

Series: None. One Shot.

Rating: PG13, for adult situations.

Verse: G1, some G1 for time keeping.

Summary: Optimus Prime finds himself temporarily ensnared by a trap even Megatron has failed to avoid.

Pairings: Prime & Starscream

( Notes and tale yonder link )

starscream, optimus prime, weekly request response, continuity: g1, author: v_for_vincent

Comments 8

graycalls January 8 2010, 16:54:22 UTC

*Laughs* Gotta love the mech, he really knows what hes doing. *Grins*

(btw, icon love!)

v_for_vincent January 9 2010, 02:15:52 UTC

Thanks!

Starscream is a wicked, wicked creature and definitely more than just a pretty face (or casual target practice for Megatron).

"(btw, icon love!)"
Please feel free to nab any icons that prove interesting.

eerian_sadow January 8 2010, 17:19:32 UTC

an engaging read. i liked watching Starscream play Prime like a fiddle. ^_^

however, this phrase seems to be missing something. 'I think you were looking for this' Prime held out

what, exactly is Prime holding out?

v_for_vincent January 9 2010, 02:49:15 UTC

Thank you!

"i liked watching Starscream play Prime like a fiddle. ^_^"

Isn't he just deliciously wicked? Poor Prime, never saw that coming.

"what, exactly is Prime holding out?"

Oops! A missing fragment there.
I really should stop writing at three in the morning.
All fixed now and thank you for spotting that.
I keep jumping from wordpad to Word, which makes for a fine mess.

dfastback68 January 8 2010, 17:27:17 UTC

I find characters like Prime and Megatron very hard to write. I think it's because I feel like I have nothing in common with them, and can't relate to the way they think/act. You did a good job with Prime - I think he's susceptible to sexy wiles like everybody else, but he still managed to reject Starscream.

My only criticism is that you seem to miss punctuation when someone is speaking. It makes the sentences kind of run together. Other than that, I loved it!

v_for_vincent January 9 2010, 02:59:05 UTC

Thanks for reading!

I think this is my second (third?) attempt to write Optimus Prime.
I haven't seen any other series except the original G1 so this is what I mostly use. Trying to understand the character's psyche is always difficult for any writer (or hack writer like me).

"My only criticism is that you seem to miss punctuation when someone is speaking. It makes the sentences kind of run together."

Thank you for the heads up on that.
Yes, that seems to be a recurring problem I keep failing to address.
Odd since I keep running every drabble through Word (Word has lied to me? Egads!). Checked it again but probably made a bigger mess of it.

Perhaps its time to find a beta!
Maybe an Alpha? Oh wait, wouldn't that be me?

primusatemyleg January 8 2010, 18:19:58 UTC

I like how their little relationship works, Starscream going at it for his own reasons and Optimus kind of pushing away but not entirely.

The characterisation of them seems fine to me. :>

v_for_vincent January 9 2010, 03:08:41 UTC

Thanks for reading!

Fortunately for Prime he managed to see just in time, Starscream is indeed dangerous and not to be underestimated.
Hmmm, I wonder how many have been dispatched due to his malice and Megatron's jealousy? Interesting...

Still, Prime being Prime, he seems to hold some hope for the Seeker.

"The characterisation of them seems fine to me."

Thank you.
I keep trying to keep the characters in character and hope to improve.