Because i am here
Title: Because i am here
Author: livesmiling / textparade
Summary: Too many things are transient, so who's left to keep them together?
Pairings: Changmin/Yunho OT5
Notes: 500+ word fic for Mai's (hoyah) CD giveaway competition over here (: word count is way past 500 tho lol.
This is for my people's who just lost somebody
Your best friend, your baby, your man or your ladyPut your hand way up high, we will never say bye
Mamas, daddies, sisters, brothers, friends and cousinsThis is for my people's who lost their grandmothers
Lift your head to the sky 'cause we will never say bye, bye
It is some years past now and the days are no longer hectic and loud. They no longer smell of liquid foundations or scratchy costume fabric, fresh out of the dry-cleaner's. There are no saesaengs sitting outside their houses; no random fangirls coming up to them in the middle of nowhere, asking for an autograph. There is nothing now that they have to do, only things that they want to do. They are still Dong Bang Shin Ki when they appear for events together, but mostly, they are just Jung Yunho and Shim Changmin.
Specifically, it is the year 2014, and in more ways than one, things have changed. But the contrary is also true, that the more things change, the more they stay the same.
***
"Changmin-ah", she pokes him in the side, mumbling in her sleep against his chest. "Changmin-ah, pick up the damn phone. It’s been ringing non-stop."
“Owww.” Changmin opens one eye to see a frowning Reiko and stretches over her to reach for the phone. Who the fuck would call at 5am in the morning, Changmin was pretty sure he was clear of schedules today.
“Moshi mosh-?” Since meeting Reiko one year back, Changmin has for most part, moved to Tokyo and expanded on his movie acting activities in Japan.
“Don’t moshi-mosh me, Changmin-ah.” It is a familiar, familiar voice.
“Oh my god, hyung.” Changmin smiles and sits up, he looks at Reiko beside him, still sleeping with a slight frown and kisses her forehead.
“Changmin-ah.” Yunho says quietly and Changmin stills. He looks at the clock. 5.05 am. He should probably have guessed that Yunho calling at such an hour would indicate that something bad has occurred.
“Jae has gotten into an accident." Changmin can hear Yunho trying not to waver. "Operating r-room, n-now.”
“Where?” Changmin whispers, climbing out of bed and grabbing a change of clothes.
“Seoul National Hospital, Changmin-ah.” Yunho's voice is twice as nasal, “A&E”.
There are a bazillion questions but none are asked. 5.06 am and Changmin is out of the penthouse, on his way back to Seoul. Home.
***
By the time Changmin reaches, it’s obvious. The smell of death lingers in the air.
Everyone who ought to be there is there, and everyone is quiet. Yunho is nowhere to be found at present. Yoochun is slumped on the floor at the corner, biting his knuckles, tears streaming down his face. Junsu is sitting at the edge of the bed, behind one of Jaejoong’s sisters, holding his hand. The said sister sits up and makes way for Changmin, but Changmin stands there, unable to move.
“Changmin,” Junsu beckons.
Changmin shakes his head, eyes watering. It’s been so damn long, how the fuck is it still so painful? I can’t, I can’t.
“Changmin-ah,” Junsu croaks, voice hoarser than usual, unfamiliar. “Jaejoong was waiting for y-you, he was in such p-pain. But Yunho told him to g-go. So.”
Please. Junsu doesn't say.
Changmin finally walks towards Jaejoong and grabs a fistful of his blanket. Hot tears are now streaming uncontrollably down his cheeks.
“Get the fuck up." Changmin mutters. "Get up now, what the fuck do you think you are doing, lying down there, yah Kim Jaejoong!” Changmin was now grabbing both of Jaejoong’s shoulders violently; head slumped against his chest, “Get the fuck up now, get the fuck up now, get up now.”
Junsu pulls him back slightly, “Changmin-ah,”
“H-how dare y-you go, how dare you, how dare y-you g---“ Changmin’s sobs slowly becoming muffled as someone pulls him into a bone-crushing hug. “He says sorry, Changmin-ah, he says s-sorry."
"He was waiting for you to come so that he could say sorry to you too but he s-seemed s-so t-tired Changmin-ah. I told him to go f-first.” Yunho sobs into Changmin’s hair.
“I told him,” Yunho speaks louder now, “that it’s okay.” Changmin shakes his head harder, “NO, IT’S N-NOT”, he howls into Yunho’s chest. “IT WASN’T! I-IT’S N-NOT OKA-“
“I-IT IS, CHANGMIN-AH, H-HE’S GONE NOW.” Yunho howls, “He's gone, he's gone now okay?!”
Yunho looks over to Yoochun and Junsu, tears still blurring his vision slightly but he sees Yoochun slumped beside Hyunjoong, shaking quietly; he sees Junsu beside him, still holding on to Jaejoong’s hand tightly and Changmin - Changmin still in his arms, shaking uncontrollably. And it was as if all the fights, all the tough times, everything, everything, everything seemed so irrelevant. How in the world did they end up this way? He looks at Yoochun and he looks at Junsu, and up until this moment, he never really understood them.
Up until now.
He holds Changmin tighter against his chest, “We will be okay,” and he looks at both Yoochun and Junsu in the eye, “I’m here.” He is Jung Yunho, and he has to be strong enough for five.
***
They hold a last concert - Our Hero. It is a not a world tour but it's the largest ever. They hold consecutive concerts in Seoul and Tokyo. They have the most extensive laser show and the most ridiculous pyrotechnics, moving stages and the largest troop of dancers any SM group can ever dream of having. The concert is nothing like ever before, every single detail is revised, every song, every dance is perfection and nothing more. The news is splashed across the papers in every part of the world; headlines are twisted and painful - 'DBSK reunites, but only as four', 'DBSK - The Last of', 'Inappropriate concert after a member's death'. Cassiopeia all over the world fly in and every concert is a sellout within minutes.
Management tries to change the concert's direction to some sort of lament to the past but Yunho puts his foot down on that. That's not what this is about at all. They practise day and night, everyone taking a portion of the lead singer's parts in the songs. There are small fights sometimes, everyone tense and stressed, it's been years apart afterall. Yoochun cries re-learning the steps of Mirotic. It takes a while to get back on the same page but awkwardness and anger, even when combined, pales in the face of grief and death.
They open the show descending from the top like gods they are with Hey! Don't Bring me Down and a full orchestra and pyrotechnics shooting up the stage all the way to the ceiling like stars. The audience is a blinding sea of red and the four of them gather in the middle of the stage. Yunho runs down the aisle and yells, "He's here today, so scream now so that he can hear you!" Cassiopeia replies with a deafening roar and with his three bandmates on his right, in the exact same order - Changmin, Yoochun, Junsu, Yunho screams, "Jaejoong-ah, do you see this?"
Click to viewnotes xxx might continue parts of this verse when i have the time, good god, i haven't written in too long.