short fic

[tesseract_5]

It's been a while since I've posted fic, I'm borrowing what I just wrote for orderofthequill. A few of you ahem, orlanstamos and grrliz looking for drug!fic, here's an offering.

challenge:
Word: Cigarette
Character: Sirius
title: When Music Makes Your Heart Sing
setting: shortly after graduation ~ 1979?
warnings: description of drug use, Remus/Sirius with kissing
Disclaimer:

Comments

[wildestranger]

Oh this is delightful. You create the mood so well, and there is drunken mismatched thoughts and R/S so sweet. Utterly lovely.

[tesseract_5]

thanks! You create the mood so well, er, probably through personal experience? *blush*

[tesseract_5]

C'est impératif que faire attention a les vendeurs des herbes en Ottawa,
errgh, forget my french, tooo rusty.

anyhoo, glad you liked it :) the campfire smoke smell was suppsosed to imply that this joint was mixed Euro style, with a little Drum tobacco. It also made sense for Remus to be the square, his bookish sense in OotP's pernsive scene, and as he'd had no spare money for frivilous drugs.

drive by comment

[jazzypom]

Good opening this - the thumping of the beat just being absorbed by ones spine, and the hodge podge of people just stumbling about and having a good time.

I thought that you could have pushed somemore with the scents and the crush of people though - you know how loud it is at music festivals, and the fact that there's the crush of people around you and the humidity of breath and sticky sweat... you were more than halfway there with this Like surfacing from being underwater a long time, the pure volume of music washed over him suddenly. Weak in the knees for a second, he leaned against Remus and licked his lips, tasting the sweetness of the herb and saliva but you didn't push it as far as you could do.

I mean, it was exciting when Sirius leaned over to breathe in Remus' mouth, but it could have been stronger with the giggle and the loopiness that seeps through debaunched things such as this.

But yeah, this is a tighter story than the last one I read.

Great improvement.

Rock on.

Re: drive by comment

[tesseract_5]

thanks! I may play with this idea some more since you all seemed to like it so much. It was just a ditty I wrote in 10 minutes yesterday. A favorite theme of mine though, the enforced intimacy with the crowd around one, and the liberty of all sorts of public display allowed in a large crowd in a dark club, under the veil of loud music. :)

giggle and the loopiness that seeps through debaunched things such as this. mmmhmmm!

Please do

[jazzypom]

I'd definately want to see this when it's done. I really love open air festivals in the UK, when the days are long, the rare balmy summer night, when the sun doesn't set until 9pm and the twilight seems to go on forever. All this is underscored by the smell of weed and the sharp sugary ferment of punch and gin and hops... okay, you need to stop me, OMG.

Hey, have you read the second part to topaz_eyes This is what we do?. I think it's called Moonspull and it gave her grief to finish, trust me. If you like it, leave word.

Oi! This real_review comm (real review) do you have to be a writer to join?

Re: Please do

[tesseract_5]

balmy summer night, when the sun doesn't set until 9pm and the twilight seems to go on forever. All this is underscored by the smell of weed and the sharp sugary ferment of punch and gin and hops.

hee! yeah, that was Coachella, whatever tent we wandered to, it was like, oooh! great band, and yep, there's that sagey smell off to the right again.

realreview would LOVE your comments. There's only a few, sometimes just one story posted each week, so it's not overwhelming to have on one's flist. You'll recognize some of the writers there, but definitely not all are writers. Some of the fic is surprisingly good, and there's lots that need a lot of help.

[orlanstamos]

tesseract_5! Drug!fic! I can't believe I let this fic wait along for as long as I did, it was sooooo good.

The description of the band and the music was great, especially at the beginning. It set a great mood to the piece, and that combined with some of the little details made this whole thing seem both very real and surreal.

I kind of want to quote the whole thing back at you and say 'I liked this part! And this one too! And this!' so I will restrain myself to only a few bits.

I really loved how you kept mentioning their mouths. From the detail about the glass hitting his teeth to Remus' comment about his lips feeling funny to the kiss, it was just this great detail that you kept coming back to.

Drug!fic. It was wonderful. And hot. The sharing smoke bit? Oh, yes. Oh, most definitly YES. And the descriptions of them smoking the joint were really neat.

Mmmmm...yes. :memories: The drug!fic list will be wonderfully exhaustive and comprehensive.

[tesseract_5]

gosh thanks! you're the first (besides jazzypom who's so kindly doing a beta for me) to read the edited longer version, the previous one was about 1/3-1/2 shorter and no kissing. real and surreal is what I was trying desperately to convey, so yay.