Hunter's Hunters, Part I

[terri_testing]

Summary: before Harry and Ron grew so hysterical over Ginny’s plight as to appeal to Lockhart, they had planned to tell the acting Headmistress their deductions about the Basilisk and let adults deal with the crisis.

*

“Bad Mouth,” from Snake Poems, by Margaret Atwood

Comments

[oryx_leucoryx]

Yes, that's how it should have happened! Why on earth did Harry and Ron go to Lockhart when they saw even the teachers didn't trust him, and when they saw the teachers were truly concerned for Ginny?

You do have the occasional slip of voice. Most notable of them, second year Harry would never say "what I was afraid of, was that I had slimy Slytherin tendencies".

[lynn_waterfall]

I'm afraid I have a language-based nitpick, too: the way Harry uses "with" at the end of the sentence is a regional thing, in the US pretty much confined to the upper Midwest. (Which is where you're from, as I recall.) It isn't a preposition-at-the-end-of-a-sentence thing; people in other parts of the country do use "with" at the end of sentences in some questions, as in "Who did you go with?" but not yes-no questions like "Do you want to come with?" or statements like the ones in Harry's dialogue. You might substitute "along" for "with."

I don't *know* that there aren't British dialects that use "with" like that, I admit.

[mary_j_59]

Actually, the "come with" is straight from the German, and I head it a lot in Wisconsin, as well as in Austria! The only other person I've ever heard say it was an Afrikaner boy - so it's Germanic dialect, I think.

Otherwise, I really love this rewrite. It's so much more sensible than the book!

[oryx_leucoryx]

What I like in particular about this version is that there isn't any obvious deus ex machina. All either canonical spells or spells similar enough to canonical spells. The most distant-from-canon are the magical goggles and the part that most requires fridge-logic is why Minerva might think a Pensieve would be useful. Unless she realized Severus wouldn't want to take Harry down and hoped his role could be played by a Pensieved memory.

[lynn_waterfall]

One thing that I enjoyed was the way that all of the faculty were collaborating to solve the problem. And not just by following orders, but by thinking and planning.

Of course, we did see a little of that working together in the book, when they came together to needle Lockhart.

I also enjoyed Severus', um, backseat driving. He deferred to Minerva's authority, but he still was the one to make the big decisions, mostly. Minerva agreed to all of his planning, and she didn't make many additional decisions of her own.

Not that I think she couldn't've fully taken charge, but her leadership skills are probably better suited to the more typical kinds of school administration things, rather than the dangerous situations that Severus would've dealt with as a DE. (Or the crisis management of dealing with children brewing potions.)

[shyfoxling]

“Just the man. The very man,” Severus breathed. Had that dulcet hatred been directed at him, Filius would have been grabbing his wand to craft an emergency Portkey.

lol. I've always loved this scene. Severus & co are bloody hilarious here.

“Sixty points! Each! I expect my students to exercise better judgment than Hagrid.”

Ha, no kidding. Even though they're all Gryffindors.

Severus lifted an eyebrow at Filius. “You may at least be assured, Filius, that neither boy was ever considered for your house. I’m sure that the reflection consoles you.”

*snerk*

Being proud of being a Gryffindor is one thing; I expect that of my house. Thinking it bad to be a Slytherin is quite another matter. Slytherins are your rivals, not your enemies, and not your inferiors. Ten more points from each of you for speaking so disrespectfully of another house. And you will both apologize to Professor Snape for casting such aspersions.”

Ah, if only such had been said...

Severus waited for the narrowing of Minerva’s eyes and spoke again. “While Silvanus

[madderbrad]

Oh, good stuff!!

Ron's reaction to Harry's revelation about his Sorting was exactly in character (although I dare say many Ron fans would not want to admit this). Even if one accepts that his heart is true the youngest Weasley lad was always a case of (selfish) personal reaction first, thinking later (if at all).

Did Harry ever tell anyone else about his being eligible for Slytherin in the canon? I don't think so?

I enjoyed the teachers' preparations for their sortie into the Chamber. Particularly (a) evacuating the school, which makes oh so much sense, and (b) utilising the ghosts as buffers of sorts. I also liked Snape's planning taking into account that there would be at least two adversaries - the beast and its controller - and thus asking for Flitwick to take on the latter. And you even had Filch be of use! It was good stuff.

Much more fun than an eleven year old dashing into danger hoping that his author would write him a few dei ex machinis to get him out of trouble.

Thanks

[terri_testing]

I tried.

I'm especially glad you find Ron in character.