Bells (4/?)
Title: Bells
Character/Pairing: Wash/Taylor, Skye/Carter, Mira/Guzman
Word Count: ~2900 for this chapter
Genre: Romance, Humor, Friendship
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Alicia can’t help but wonder how she got herself into this situation, but in it she is, and she will execute her roles with military precision. Or at least with as much military precision as she can manage in a dress.
Author’s Note: Time for the shower - this one will be fun here and there, but it’s going to get serious about something too, something I just couldn’t ignore.
Note, this is set in the context of my other stories, but definitely not necessary to read those for this to make sense - just be aware that in my context now, Wash and Taylor are married and have a little girl named Gracie, and the Sixers have come back to Terra Nova.
Disclaimer is as usual - no profit, not mine (except Gracie, of course), just borrowing.
Part One
Part Two
Part Three
“There are as many nights as days, and the one is just as long as the other in the year's course. Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word 'happy' would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness.” - Carl Jung
Three Weeks to Wedding #1 - The Showers and the People Who Aren’t There
Alicia and Gracie are heading towards the plaza, Gracie’s hand held firmly in Alicia’s, going to the shower for Skye. In her other hand, she carries their shower gift. The week before, they attended Mira’s shower, a small affair thrown by Elisabeth and attended by Mira’s closest friends in the colony. Out of sheer curiosity, or maybe out of deference to Guz, there were many who probably would’ve attended if asked, but Mira hadn’t felt comfortable with that.
Alicia can’t blame her. Odd as it might sound, these days, she’s more grateful than most could imagine that her wedding to Nathaniel had been, by necessity, such a secret. Back then, prior to the eleventh pilgrimage and the subsequent Phoenix Group mess, they’d had Hope Plaza scrutinizing them.
They’d married to strengthen their position with Hope Plaza - their thinking had been that if their relationship came to light, they’d have a better argument if they were married. Of course, they’d likely also be able to point to the fact that they’d already been in an intimate relationship for seven years when they finally swapped vows and to the fact that their relationship had never influenced their leadership of the colony.
Ironically, the only time Nathaniel professionally made an emotional decision where she was concerned, leaving her behind at the colony for the eleventh pilgrimage, had ended in near disaster. As always, thinking about that time, of Nathaniel in particular believing her to be dead, and of her effort, with Mira’s and Carter’s help, to get home, makes her go tense.
“Mama, you hold my hand too tight!” Gracie’s protest brings Alicia back to the present. Alicia looks down to see Gracie trying to pull her hand away, her fluffy party dress swirling around her little legs.
She loosens her grip on Gracie’s hand and gives her a contrite look. “I’m sorry, Bug. I didn’t mean to.”
Gracie slips her hand out of Alicia’s, shaking it dramatically as if to return feeling to it. Alicia has to stifle a laugh; Gracie definitely inherited Nathaniel’s flair for the dramatic. The annoyed expression along with the shaking motion and the long, full-skirted pink dress with matching sash make for quite a picture, completed by bouncing black pigtails adorned with bright pink ribbons.
Alicia has to marvel for a moment at how downright girly Gracie is. It’s something entirely foreign to Alicia, and she has no idea why Gracie loves her dresses and ribbons so much. But even though it was never Alicia’s style, she secretly adores Gracie’s love of all things overly feminine - she particularly loves it when Gracie is decked out in an outfit like this and then tries to do something like climb a tree.
Gracie squeals when Alicia picks her up and plants her squarely on her hip. “Want a ride?” Alicia grins at her.
“OK, Mama. But don’t squeeze so tight this time.” Gracie gives Alicia her best attempt at a stern look.
Alicia stifles a laugh and nods. “Yes, ma’am.” As they resume their trip towards the plaza, Alicia notices colonists and vendors watching them pass through the market on the way, smiles on their faces. She’s amused by how fascinated people seem to be by the sight of the colony’s tough and edgy - they think - second in command dressed in something other than fatigues and a gun and carrying the little girl who seems to have most of the colony wrapped around her little finger.
Frowning a little, Alicia sighs. She does feel somewhat naked without her holster strapped to her thigh, lacking the usual comforting weight of her gun. Her own hair is down, flowing past her shoulders, and she’s wearing simple, soft black pants and a soft red sweater. Elisabeth helped her get some clothes in the market last week, insisting that Alicia could not wear her usual camo and weaponry to wedding showers.
Alicia had drawn a few lines, though. One was no dresses or skirts. The two she had to wear for the weddings themselves were enough, in her opinion. The other was no little pumps or sandals. Again, she’d wear her heels for her role in Carter’s wedding, and she’d wear the heeled sandals for her dress for Mira’s wedding, but that was enough. Instead, she’d found the heeled boots she now wears. The heels aren’t too high, only a few inches, but they’re soft black leather, and they go to her knees.
The night after she bought them, Nathaniel spotted them in the closet. It had been late, Gracie already long asleep in her room. After spying the boots in the closet, Nathaniel walked to their bedroom door to close it, and, with a gleam in his eye, asked her to try them on for him. She did, and not long after, the boots were the only thing either of them were wearing. She smirks at the memory.
“Mama, what’s funny?” Busted, Alicia blushes lightly and tries to think fast.
“Nothing, Bug. Mama was just remembering something that happened before you were born.” Alicia racks her brain for an appropriate story in case Gracie presses her further. She lands on one, and a moment later, she’s glad she did.
“Tell stowy, Mama?” Gracie’s eyes are wide with curiosity.
Alicia smiles. “Well, there was a little girl named Mandy, a little younger than you are right now, who wandered away from home and got lost here in the market.” She proceeds to tell Gracie how Mandy had attached herself to Alicia until Nathaniel showed up, and then, when Nathaniel laughed at her about the situation, Alicia convinced the child to attach herself to him instead. By the time they get to the plaza, Gracie is giggling at the thought of her daddy with a little girl attached to his leg.
At the plaza, a canopy tent is set up, and almost twenty women are already gathered. The hostesses are Deborah Tate and Tasha, and they’re already working the group, directing ladies to the table for the presents and then to the table with food and drinks. Alicia puts Gracie down and hands her Skye’s gift, pointing out the presents table to her.
Gracie takes it and toddles over, carefully putting the gift on the table, with an assist from Reilly, who lifts her up because the table is too tall for Gracie to reach. Alicia isn’t surprised when Reilly then shifts Gracie to her hip and takes her to talk to the other guests.
With her little social butterfly now in her element and in good hands, Alicia looks around for Elisabeth or Mira. She spots them sitting together at a small table, so she heads over to join them. They sit there chatting for a while, Mira earning an eye roll when she comments on Alicia’s lack of weaponry.
Reilly eventually brings an icing-smeared Gracie to Alicia, shooting her an apologetic look when she does. Alicia just laughs and says, “Bug, did you get any cake in you?” Reilly looks relieved by the lack of irritation from her commanding officer, and she slips away.
Gracie looks a little frustrated. “Yes. But not enough! Was messy.”
Alicia, Elisabeth and Mira all clearly do their best to swallow laughs at that, only because Gracie is so earnest with her complaint. Alicia nods gravely. “I know, Bug. Cake can be hard.”
Gracie appears to be somewhat mollified by the sympathy. “Uh huh. And Auntie Wor-ruh told me to ruh-member to say that she made me eat some fwuit and a sandwich first, before cake.”
Alicia laughs at that, both at the hit-or-miss Rs and Ls and at Reilly’s wanting to be sure that Alicia knows she made Gracie eat some real food before the cake. “I’m glad to hear it, Bug.”
Knowing that Gracie will likely be sleepy after the food, Alicia shifts back in her chair a bit, making it so that Gracie can curl into her shoulder. Under a minute later, Gracie does just that, falling asleep in Alicia’s lap. Alicia continues to talk quietly with Elisabeth and Mira until Tasha and Deborah announce that it’s time for gifts. Reilly then joins them, taking the open chair at the table after getting a slight nod of approval and a smile from Alicia.
Deborah fusses over Skye as Tasha brings her the gifts to open, and Alicia notices that Mira is being quiet. She can see that Mira is watching Deborah and Skye, and that she has something of a wistful expression on her face.
Skye opens gift after gift, including new towels from Alicia, Nathaniel and Gracie - as well as a picture frame that Gracie made for her. The picture frame, of course, elicits a chorus of “Aww” and “How cute!” The commotion wakes Gracie, who just snuggles closer to Alicia and favors the women with a small, confused smile.
A moment later, Skye opens a package from Deborah, a surprise for Skye. It’s Deborah’s veil from when Deborah married Skye’s father, something she’d brought with them from the future. The women go to awwing again, and Skye lets Deborah help her try it on as they both get a little teary. Alicia looks over at Mira again, and Alicia is surprised to see that Mira’s face has gone from wistful to undeniably sad.
Catching Alicia’s eye, Mira just shakes her head. Then, she says, “Excuse me,” and gets up and leaves the table, heading out of the canopied area.
Elisabeth and Reilly give Alicia concerned looks, probably copies of the look on her own face. She leans down to Gracie. “Bug, I need to go talk to Aunt Mira about something. Can you go to Aunt Elisabeth?”
Elisabeth nods and holds out her arms to Gracie, who sleepily says, “’K, Mama.” She curls against Elisabeth as she had against Alicia, and Alicia gets up to follow Mira.
Alicia finds her friend just a little ways away from the plaza, on a bench under a shade tree, still with a full view of the plaza and canopy. Mira once again shakes her head as Alicia approaches. “I’m fine, Wash. Go back to the party.”
“They can do without me for a bit.” She ignores Mira’s frown and drops down next to her on the bench. She looks at Mira. “And you’re not even close to fine. What’s going on?” Mira gives her a stubborn look, but Alicia just crosses her legs and leans against the back of the bench. “Elisabeth has Gracie. I can wait all day, Mira.”
“God, you really are a pain in the ass. Almost as much as your husband. More so than Carter, which I didn’t think was possible until I spent time with you and Taylor.” Mira huffs.
Alicia laughs. “I know that wasn’t intended as a compliment, but I’m going to take it that way anyway.” Alicia’s face turns serious. “Now tell me what’s wrong. Honestly, I’m only asking because I’m worried. You look so sad right now, and that’s not like you, at least not lately. I just want to help if I can.”
Mira remains silent for a little bit, and Alicia starts to think that she’s withdrawing further. Then, Mira sighs, her shoulders dropping, eyes directed down. In a quiet voice, she says, “That will never be Sienna and me. I won’t help her with her wedding, I won’t see her grow up, I’ll never even know what happened to her. I’ll never see my baby again.”
Alicia actually winces at the pain she hears in Mira’s voice, and she doesn’t know what to say. They sit there in silence for a while until Mira says, “I know. I should let it go, shouldn’t I? There’s nothing I can do, the portal is gone, so I should try to forget.” Her voice is barely a whisper now, and Alicia is only a little surprised to see tears on Mira’s face.
Alicia reaches out and takes Mira’s hand and grips it tight. “I would never say that, Mira. I’d never say to let it go, and I’d certainly never tell you to try to forget.” Mira stays quiet, but it’s telling that she doesn’t pull her hand free from Alicia’s. “I wish there was something I could say, some words that would help, but I know that there isn’t anything. If it was Gracie…” Alicia can’t even finish that thought.
Mira remains silent and doesn’t look up, but she tightens her hand in Alicia’s. “Mira, I know our beginning was rough. I mean, you’ve actually hit me in the face with the butt of a damned rifle.” That earns Alicia a light snort. “But I can listen if you need someone to, or, you know, we could just go to the gym and beat the crap out of each other for a bit. Or we could find Carter and hit him. That always improves my mood.”
At that, Mira’s snort is full out. “Let’s do that last thing. Carter’s getting slow and more than a little complacent. We need to keep him on his toes more.” Alicia laughs, and Mira finally looks back up at her. “Thank you, Alicia, for the offer of an ear and for being a good friend I never expected to have. Also, I don’t want you to think that I’m generally unhappy. I’m not. I love Isaac, and my life here is a good life. I just wish Sienna was here with us. Isaac would be such a great dad for her, like he has been for Tasha.”
“For what it’s worth, I’m so glad he has you. He was alone too long, Tasha notwithstanding. He’s so happy with you, Mira. And that makes me happy for both of you.” Alicia squeezes Mira’s hand again before pulling back. “And if it’s hard for you to be around Gracie, I can…”
“No, it’s not, Alicia. I promise. She’s wonderful and adorable. You and Taylor appear to have produced some sort of perfect, Stepford kid. But in a good way.” Mira smiles at her, a full, real smile.
Now, it’s Alicia’s turn to snort. “I should invite the colony to bedtime. She often doesn’t want to go. She melted down last night. Kid naps like a pro, but bedtime for the night? Hell no. She’s like devil child.”
“I find that a little hard to believe, Alicia.” Mira stands and Alicia follows her, both of them heading back to the party.
“OK, it’s not every night, but when it happens, it’s no fun to be around. She’s like Nathaniel - a complete force of nature.” Alicia smiles bemusedly.
“Alicia.” Mira stops her with a hand on her arm. Alicia shoots Mira a questioning look. “You do get that she’s as much you as she is him, and that you’re just as much of a force of nature, right? Just in a different way?”
Alicia scoffs at that, but Mira shakes her head. “Alicia, when we got here, there were colonists who were openly aggressive to us, not because of our betrayal of the colony or of Taylor - they were pissed because they blamed us for you nearly getting killed. People follow Taylor because he’s a natural born leader. You can’t help but follow him. Hell, even I’ve drunk that particular Kool-Aid. But you? People here are almost insanely loyal to you, and I believe it’s because they see that you’re insanely loyal to Taylor and to them.”
“Mira, you were the same way with your people. Insanely loyal to them. They’re just as protective of you as the colonists are of me, and by extension, of Gracie.” Alicia’s cheeks have gone red at Mira’s observations. She’s not comfortable with that kind of praise, even if, deep down, she knows how the colonists see her and her role here.
“Maybe so. Look at us: two badass, overly loyal women. I think we deserve cake.” Mira grins at her, clearly trying to lighten the mood.
“Definitely cake. And punch. We deserve punch, too.” Alicia nods.
When they get back to their table, Alicia, recruiting Reilly to assist, goes off in search of cake. Before they go, she sees Mira take the chair next to Elisabeth, holding her arms out to take Gracie. As Alicia turns to leave the table, she hears Mira say, “Bug, I like your dress. I had a little girl once, she still lives in the future, and she would have loved to have a dress like yours.”
Worried, Alicia frowns little as she hears Gracie ask about Mira’s daughter’s name and then ask for stories, well, “stowwies,” about her. But when she turns back to look at them, Mira gives her a small, reassuring nod and proceeds to tell Gracie a little about Sienna. When they get back, Mira looks sad, but she also has a smile on her face as Gracie listens at rapt attention to the stories from her Aunt Mira.
Character/Pairing: Wash/Taylor, Skye/Carter, Mira/Guzman
Word Count: ~2900 for this chapter
Genre: Romance, Humor, Friendship
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Alicia can’t help but wonder how she got herself into this situation, but in it she is, and she will execute her roles with military precision. Or at least with as much military precision as she can manage in a dress.
Author’s Note: Time for the shower - this one will be fun here and there, but it’s going to get serious about something too, something I just couldn’t ignore.
Note, this is set in the context of my other stories, but definitely not necessary to read those for this to make sense - just be aware that in my context now, Wash and Taylor are married and have a little girl named Gracie, and the Sixers have come back to Terra Nova.
Disclaimer is as usual - no profit, not mine (except Gracie, of course), just borrowing.
Part One
Part Two
Part Three
“There are as many nights as days, and the one is just as long as the other in the year's course. Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word 'happy' would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness.” - Carl Jung
Three Weeks to Wedding #1 - The Showers and the People Who Aren’t There
Alicia and Gracie are heading towards the plaza, Gracie’s hand held firmly in Alicia’s, going to the shower for Skye. In her other hand, she carries their shower gift. The week before, they attended Mira’s shower, a small affair thrown by Elisabeth and attended by Mira’s closest friends in the colony. Out of sheer curiosity, or maybe out of deference to Guz, there were many who probably would’ve attended if asked, but Mira hadn’t felt comfortable with that.
Alicia can’t blame her. Odd as it might sound, these days, she’s more grateful than most could imagine that her wedding to Nathaniel had been, by necessity, such a secret. Back then, prior to the eleventh pilgrimage and the subsequent Phoenix Group mess, they’d had Hope Plaza scrutinizing them.
They’d married to strengthen their position with Hope Plaza - their thinking had been that if their relationship came to light, they’d have a better argument if they were married. Of course, they’d likely also be able to point to the fact that they’d already been in an intimate relationship for seven years when they finally swapped vows and to the fact that their relationship had never influenced their leadership of the colony.
Ironically, the only time Nathaniel professionally made an emotional decision where she was concerned, leaving her behind at the colony for the eleventh pilgrimage, had ended in near disaster. As always, thinking about that time, of Nathaniel in particular believing her to be dead, and of her effort, with Mira’s and Carter’s help, to get home, makes her go tense.
“Mama, you hold my hand too tight!” Gracie’s protest brings Alicia back to the present. Alicia looks down to see Gracie trying to pull her hand away, her fluffy party dress swirling around her little legs.
She loosens her grip on Gracie’s hand and gives her a contrite look. “I’m sorry, Bug. I didn’t mean to.”
Gracie slips her hand out of Alicia’s, shaking it dramatically as if to return feeling to it. Alicia has to stifle a laugh; Gracie definitely inherited Nathaniel’s flair for the dramatic. The annoyed expression along with the shaking motion and the long, full-skirted pink dress with matching sash make for quite a picture, completed by bouncing black pigtails adorned with bright pink ribbons.
Alicia has to marvel for a moment at how downright girly Gracie is. It’s something entirely foreign to Alicia, and she has no idea why Gracie loves her dresses and ribbons so much. But even though it was never Alicia’s style, she secretly adores Gracie’s love of all things overly feminine - she particularly loves it when Gracie is decked out in an outfit like this and then tries to do something like climb a tree.
Gracie squeals when Alicia picks her up and plants her squarely on her hip. “Want a ride?” Alicia grins at her.
“OK, Mama. But don’t squeeze so tight this time.” Gracie gives Alicia her best attempt at a stern look.
Alicia stifles a laugh and nods. “Yes, ma’am.” As they resume their trip towards the plaza, Alicia notices colonists and vendors watching them pass through the market on the way, smiles on their faces. She’s amused by how fascinated people seem to be by the sight of the colony’s tough and edgy - they think - second in command dressed in something other than fatigues and a gun and carrying the little girl who seems to have most of the colony wrapped around her little finger.
Frowning a little, Alicia sighs. She does feel somewhat naked without her holster strapped to her thigh, lacking the usual comforting weight of her gun. Her own hair is down, flowing past her shoulders, and she’s wearing simple, soft black pants and a soft red sweater. Elisabeth helped her get some clothes in the market last week, insisting that Alicia could not wear her usual camo and weaponry to wedding showers.
Alicia had drawn a few lines, though. One was no dresses or skirts. The two she had to wear for the weddings themselves were enough, in her opinion. The other was no little pumps or sandals. Again, she’d wear her heels for her role in Carter’s wedding, and she’d wear the heeled sandals for her dress for Mira’s wedding, but that was enough. Instead, she’d found the heeled boots she now wears. The heels aren’t too high, only a few inches, but they’re soft black leather, and they go to her knees.
The night after she bought them, Nathaniel spotted them in the closet. It had been late, Gracie already long asleep in her room. After spying the boots in the closet, Nathaniel walked to their bedroom door to close it, and, with a gleam in his eye, asked her to try them on for him. She did, and not long after, the boots were the only thing either of them were wearing. She smirks at the memory.
“Mama, what’s funny?” Busted, Alicia blushes lightly and tries to think fast.
“Nothing, Bug. Mama was just remembering something that happened before you were born.” Alicia racks her brain for an appropriate story in case Gracie presses her further. She lands on one, and a moment later, she’s glad she did.
“Tell stowy, Mama?” Gracie’s eyes are wide with curiosity.
Alicia smiles. “Well, there was a little girl named Mandy, a little younger than you are right now, who wandered away from home and got lost here in the market.” She proceeds to tell Gracie how Mandy had attached herself to Alicia until Nathaniel showed up, and then, when Nathaniel laughed at her about the situation, Alicia convinced the child to attach herself to him instead. By the time they get to the plaza, Gracie is giggling at the thought of her daddy with a little girl attached to his leg.
At the plaza, a canopy tent is set up, and almost twenty women are already gathered. The hostesses are Deborah Tate and Tasha, and they’re already working the group, directing ladies to the table for the presents and then to the table with food and drinks. Alicia puts Gracie down and hands her Skye’s gift, pointing out the presents table to her.
Gracie takes it and toddles over, carefully putting the gift on the table, with an assist from Reilly, who lifts her up because the table is too tall for Gracie to reach. Alicia isn’t surprised when Reilly then shifts Gracie to her hip and takes her to talk to the other guests.
With her little social butterfly now in her element and in good hands, Alicia looks around for Elisabeth or Mira. She spots them sitting together at a small table, so she heads over to join them. They sit there chatting for a while, Mira earning an eye roll when she comments on Alicia’s lack of weaponry.
Reilly eventually brings an icing-smeared Gracie to Alicia, shooting her an apologetic look when she does. Alicia just laughs and says, “Bug, did you get any cake in you?” Reilly looks relieved by the lack of irritation from her commanding officer, and she slips away.
Gracie looks a little frustrated. “Yes. But not enough! Was messy.”
Alicia, Elisabeth and Mira all clearly do their best to swallow laughs at that, only because Gracie is so earnest with her complaint. Alicia nods gravely. “I know, Bug. Cake can be hard.”
Gracie appears to be somewhat mollified by the sympathy. “Uh huh. And Auntie Wor-ruh told me to ruh-member to say that she made me eat some fwuit and a sandwich first, before cake.”
Alicia laughs at that, both at the hit-or-miss Rs and Ls and at Reilly’s wanting to be sure that Alicia knows she made Gracie eat some real food before the cake. “I’m glad to hear it, Bug.”
Knowing that Gracie will likely be sleepy after the food, Alicia shifts back in her chair a bit, making it so that Gracie can curl into her shoulder. Under a minute later, Gracie does just that, falling asleep in Alicia’s lap. Alicia continues to talk quietly with Elisabeth and Mira until Tasha and Deborah announce that it’s time for gifts. Reilly then joins them, taking the open chair at the table after getting a slight nod of approval and a smile from Alicia.
Deborah fusses over Skye as Tasha brings her the gifts to open, and Alicia notices that Mira is being quiet. She can see that Mira is watching Deborah and Skye, and that she has something of a wistful expression on her face.
Skye opens gift after gift, including new towels from Alicia, Nathaniel and Gracie - as well as a picture frame that Gracie made for her. The picture frame, of course, elicits a chorus of “Aww” and “How cute!” The commotion wakes Gracie, who just snuggles closer to Alicia and favors the women with a small, confused smile.
A moment later, Skye opens a package from Deborah, a surprise for Skye. It’s Deborah’s veil from when Deborah married Skye’s father, something she’d brought with them from the future. The women go to awwing again, and Skye lets Deborah help her try it on as they both get a little teary. Alicia looks over at Mira again, and Alicia is surprised to see that Mira’s face has gone from wistful to undeniably sad.
Catching Alicia’s eye, Mira just shakes her head. Then, she says, “Excuse me,” and gets up and leaves the table, heading out of the canopied area.
Elisabeth and Reilly give Alicia concerned looks, probably copies of the look on her own face. She leans down to Gracie. “Bug, I need to go talk to Aunt Mira about something. Can you go to Aunt Elisabeth?”
Elisabeth nods and holds out her arms to Gracie, who sleepily says, “’K, Mama.” She curls against Elisabeth as she had against Alicia, and Alicia gets up to follow Mira.
Alicia finds her friend just a little ways away from the plaza, on a bench under a shade tree, still with a full view of the plaza and canopy. Mira once again shakes her head as Alicia approaches. “I’m fine, Wash. Go back to the party.”
“They can do without me for a bit.” She ignores Mira’s frown and drops down next to her on the bench. She looks at Mira. “And you’re not even close to fine. What’s going on?” Mira gives her a stubborn look, but Alicia just crosses her legs and leans against the back of the bench. “Elisabeth has Gracie. I can wait all day, Mira.”
“God, you really are a pain in the ass. Almost as much as your husband. More so than Carter, which I didn’t think was possible until I spent time with you and Taylor.” Mira huffs.
Alicia laughs. “I know that wasn’t intended as a compliment, but I’m going to take it that way anyway.” Alicia’s face turns serious. “Now tell me what’s wrong. Honestly, I’m only asking because I’m worried. You look so sad right now, and that’s not like you, at least not lately. I just want to help if I can.”
Mira remains silent for a little bit, and Alicia starts to think that she’s withdrawing further. Then, Mira sighs, her shoulders dropping, eyes directed down. In a quiet voice, she says, “That will never be Sienna and me. I won’t help her with her wedding, I won’t see her grow up, I’ll never even know what happened to her. I’ll never see my baby again.”
Alicia actually winces at the pain she hears in Mira’s voice, and she doesn’t know what to say. They sit there in silence for a while until Mira says, “I know. I should let it go, shouldn’t I? There’s nothing I can do, the portal is gone, so I should try to forget.” Her voice is barely a whisper now, and Alicia is only a little surprised to see tears on Mira’s face.
Alicia reaches out and takes Mira’s hand and grips it tight. “I would never say that, Mira. I’d never say to let it go, and I’d certainly never tell you to try to forget.” Mira stays quiet, but it’s telling that she doesn’t pull her hand free from Alicia’s. “I wish there was something I could say, some words that would help, but I know that there isn’t anything. If it was Gracie…” Alicia can’t even finish that thought.
Mira remains silent and doesn’t look up, but she tightens her hand in Alicia’s. “Mira, I know our beginning was rough. I mean, you’ve actually hit me in the face with the butt of a damned rifle.” That earns Alicia a light snort. “But I can listen if you need someone to, or, you know, we could just go to the gym and beat the crap out of each other for a bit. Or we could find Carter and hit him. That always improves my mood.”
At that, Mira’s snort is full out. “Let’s do that last thing. Carter’s getting slow and more than a little complacent. We need to keep him on his toes more.” Alicia laughs, and Mira finally looks back up at her. “Thank you, Alicia, for the offer of an ear and for being a good friend I never expected to have. Also, I don’t want you to think that I’m generally unhappy. I’m not. I love Isaac, and my life here is a good life. I just wish Sienna was here with us. Isaac would be such a great dad for her, like he has been for Tasha.”
“For what it’s worth, I’m so glad he has you. He was alone too long, Tasha notwithstanding. He’s so happy with you, Mira. And that makes me happy for both of you.” Alicia squeezes Mira’s hand again before pulling back. “And if it’s hard for you to be around Gracie, I can…”
“No, it’s not, Alicia. I promise. She’s wonderful and adorable. You and Taylor appear to have produced some sort of perfect, Stepford kid. But in a good way.” Mira smiles at her, a full, real smile.
Now, it’s Alicia’s turn to snort. “I should invite the colony to bedtime. She often doesn’t want to go. She melted down last night. Kid naps like a pro, but bedtime for the night? Hell no. She’s like devil child.”
“I find that a little hard to believe, Alicia.” Mira stands and Alicia follows her, both of them heading back to the party.
“OK, it’s not every night, but when it happens, it’s no fun to be around. She’s like Nathaniel - a complete force of nature.” Alicia smiles bemusedly.
“Alicia.” Mira stops her with a hand on her arm. Alicia shoots Mira a questioning look. “You do get that she’s as much you as she is him, and that you’re just as much of a force of nature, right? Just in a different way?”
Alicia scoffs at that, but Mira shakes her head. “Alicia, when we got here, there were colonists who were openly aggressive to us, not because of our betrayal of the colony or of Taylor - they were pissed because they blamed us for you nearly getting killed. People follow Taylor because he’s a natural born leader. You can’t help but follow him. Hell, even I’ve drunk that particular Kool-Aid. But you? People here are almost insanely loyal to you, and I believe it’s because they see that you’re insanely loyal to Taylor and to them.”
“Mira, you were the same way with your people. Insanely loyal to them. They’re just as protective of you as the colonists are of me, and by extension, of Gracie.” Alicia’s cheeks have gone red at Mira’s observations. She’s not comfortable with that kind of praise, even if, deep down, she knows how the colonists see her and her role here.
“Maybe so. Look at us: two badass, overly loyal women. I think we deserve cake.” Mira grins at her, clearly trying to lighten the mood.
“Definitely cake. And punch. We deserve punch, too.” Alicia nods.
When they get back to their table, Alicia, recruiting Reilly to assist, goes off in search of cake. Before they go, she sees Mira take the chair next to Elisabeth, holding her arms out to take Gracie. As Alicia turns to leave the table, she hears Mira say, “Bug, I like your dress. I had a little girl once, she still lives in the future, and she would have loved to have a dress like yours.”
Worried, Alicia frowns little as she hears Gracie ask about Mira’s daughter’s name and then ask for stories, well, “stowwies,” about her. But when she turns back to look at them, Mira gives her a small, reassuring nod and proceeds to tell Gracie a little about Sienna. When they get back, Mira looks sad, but she also has a smile on her face as Gracie listens at rapt attention to the stories from her Aunt Mira.