Special Porn Hell: Fair & Balanced!
[This is probably sappier than it has any right to be, but I can't help it, they actually do like each other. For reference: H&C's last show, Hannity's keychain (or so I imagine), the douchebaggiest of all SUVs (hybrid version .0000001% less so). And yes, Hannity did indeed used to be a bartender.]
A Boy and His Liberal
by
Dara Sue Vega
Disclaimer: The following is a work of fiction, intended as entertainment/satire only. Any real names or background details are used for verisimilitude only. This is in no way intended as a statement or implication of actual facts about any persons or institutions referenced herein.
***
It started, as so many questionable things do, with a kiss under the mistletoe. It wasn't even a real kiss, or at least, it wasn't supposed to be.
They were at the Fox News "Holiday Party." There was an open bar, but thanks to budget cuts, no bartender. Sean Hannity had just poured himself a rum and Coke and stepped out from behind the counter when he nearly ran into his soon-to-be-ex-partner.
"Hey, Alan."
"Hey, Sean."
"Great party, huh?"
Alan laughed, rolling his eyes. "Yeah. I can't wait to see who ends up wearing the lampshade this year."
"Kiss him already, Al!" yelled a voice from the crowd. It sounded suspiciously like Shepard Smith.
Sean must have looked confused, because Alan pointed above their heads at a sprig of mistletoe dangling from one of the ceiling lights. He grinned impishly. "So, are you secure enough in your masculinity to give your favorite liberal a little Christmas smooch?"
The drink in Sean's hand wasn't his first of the night. If it had been, he might not have done what he did next, which was set it down on the bar, grip Alan's face with both hands, and lay an exaggerated, lip-smacking kiss on the very surprised pundit.
The handful of people who'd been paying attention cheered. When Sean let go of him, Alan grabbed his hand and led him in an overly-dramatic stage bow. "Okay, show's over, folks," Alan grinned.
"This better not show up on YouTube," muttered Sean. He could feel a blush creeping over his face, and another kind of heat building a little lower down. He picked up his drink and stepped back behind the bar, hoping nobody else would see any significance in this action.
"I'm pretty sure the only person sober enough to think of it is Bill," said Alan, sitting down on a barstool, "and you know how he feels about new-fangled gizmos like camera phones. Hey, as long as you're back there, why don't you make me a frozen mudslide?"
Sean looked around, relieved at the distraction. "They didn't give us a blender."
"How about a Kahlua and cream?"
Sean opened the mini-fridge. "Kahlua and eggnog okay?"
"Sure. I'm in a festive holiday mood." Alan smiled.
"Obviously." Sean concentrated on mixing Alan's drink.
"Hey, you're lucky I didn't ask for a Screaming Orgasm."
Sean laughed, shaking his head as he set the glass down in front of his partner. "You're never going to let me forget this, are you?"
Alan grinned. "I promise not to mention it on the air." He took a sip of his drink.
"Sorry, there's no nutmeg, either." Sean went to work on his rum and Coke.
"I'll live." Alan licked his lips. "Not bad."
Sean nearly choked. "Please be talking about the drink," he managed between gasps.
Alan laughed, reaching over the bar to clap Sean on the back. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you nervous. Your heterosexuality is safe." He took another sip. "Actually, I'm really proud of you. When we first started, I think you would have punched me for even suggesting that."
"This is why I need to get rid of you. You're a bad influence."
"You'll miss me when I'm gone, admit it."
Sean's smile subsided into a more bittersweet twist at the corner of his mouth. "Yeah."
"Don't get sappy on me, Hannity. I won't be far away."
"It's not gonna be the same without you."
"Yeah, you probably won't get as much hate mail."
Sean smiled. "Did I tell you about this new segment we're doing? It's a voicemail thing where liberals can call in and insult me."
"The 'Hate Hannity Hotline'?"
Sean's eyes widened. "Hey, that's a really good title."
"I won't even charge you royalties."
"You're a good guy, Alan."
"I think that's the nicest thing you've ever said to me," Alan chuckled.
"No, I really mean it," Sean insisted, finishing his drink. "I don't know if I could have done this without you." He immediately poured himself another one.
"How many of those have you had? You're getting a little maudlin."
"Three... ish." Or was it four? The last one was starting to really kick in.
"Do you want to sit down? I think a table just freed up."
Sean looked over to see where Alan was pointing. Megyn Kelly was walking briskly away from a corner booth while an undaunted Bill O'Reilly chased after her. Sean rolled his eyes. "He's out of his league."
"I think he likes the abuse."
"Kind of like somebody else I know." Sean winked.
"Careful, I might think you're flirting with me."
Sean laughed. "You wish." He could feel his face reddening again and hoped Alan wouldn't read any more into it than the combination of amusement and alcohol.
"Hey, liberal, remember? I'm not threatened by alternative lifestyles."
"But you're my liberal."
"Not for much longer."
Sean sighed. "I guess we should make the most of it... wait, did that sound really gay?"
"That's it," said Alan, reaching over and gently removing Sean's drink from his hand. "I'm cutting you off."
"Hey, you can't do that, this is America!"
"Just think of me as the Nanny State in microcosm." He nodded his head toward the vacant booth. "Come on, let's sit down."
Sean decided to humor Alan, in the hopes that he'd get his drink back at some point. As he stepped out from behind the bar, he tripped over his own feet. Adding to the embarrassment factor, Alan caught him.
"Obviously cutting you off was the right call."
"Damn it, now people are really going to talk." Sean regained his footing as Alan steadied him with an arm around his waist.
"Too bad we're not closer to the dance floor."
"I'm not sober enough to lead right now."
"Who says you get to lead?"
"Come on, everybody knows I'm the man in this relationship."
"Aww, you conservatives are so cute when you're insecure."
"I'm perfectly secure, thank you very much." Sean felt the need to emphasize this, seeing as he was presently a good deal closer to another man than he usually preferred to be.
"So why are you blushing?"
"I am not!"
"Ah, denial, another hallmark of the right wing." Alan guided Sean into the seat, and scooted in next to him. "If you get arrested in an airport men's room, I'm not bailing you out, just so you know."
"Why do you liberals always think everybody's gay?"
"Because so many people are?"
"Hmmmph." Sean rested his head on his hand. "Either change the subject or give me back my drink."
"Okay," said Alan, finishing his eggnog. "How are you getting home?"
"Driving."
"The hell you are. Give me your keys."
"Okay, I've had just about enough of your Big Brother -"
"Your keys." Alan held his hand out sternly. "Don't make me go in your pocket and get them."
"I thought I told you to change the subject." Sean acquiesced and dug his keychain out of his jacket pocket, dropping it into Alan's palm.
Alan looked at the "I [heart] [the GOP]" fob and smiled. "You're still using the one I gave you last year."
"I'll treasure it forever, just like our friendship."
"Careful, I might have to kiss you again."
"Good God, man, this is a public place. Control your unnatural urges."
"You mean until we can get to someplace more private?"
Sean buried his face in his hands, partly because he was too busy shaking with laughter to formulate a retort, and partly so Alan wouldn't make fun of him for blushing again.
***
Forty minutes later, Sean was very earnestly explaining why Reagan was the greatest President ever.
"...and he personally defeated Communism! We'd all be speaking Russian if it weren't for him!"
Alan just shook his head, rolling his eyes. "I think it's past your bedtime. Say goodbye to Greta and let's get out of here."
"Are you going to give me my car keys back?"
"Nope. I'm going to drive you home."
"But how will you get home?"
"I'll just borrow your car and pick you up tomorrow."
"Oh, no. You are not parking my brand new Escalade out on the street in the city."
"Then I guess it's a good thing you have a comfy couch."
***
After several effusive goodbyes to colleagues and coworkers and one bathroom stop, they had finally made their way down to the garage and managed to locate Sean's much-touted hybrid Escalade.
"Just so you know, this car is a no-liberal zone normally," said Sean as Alan found the Unlock button on the alarm remote. "You should feel really special right now."
"Oh, believe me, I do."
"You're only allowed in it because you're my liberal."
"And because I'm the one with the keys." Alan made sure Sean got in the car, closed the door behind him, then went around to the other side and climbed into the driver's seat.
"And I don't want to hear any of your left-wing propaganda."
"Or what? You'll get out and walk?"
"Maybe." Sean was having some trouble with his seat belt.
"Here." Alan reached over and put his hand on Sean's, helping him guide the tab into the buckle.
"Finally got me right where you want me, huh?"
Alan laughed. "Remind me to have a little talk with you about the concept of 'projection' sometime." He let his hand linger on Sean's for a second longer than necessary.
Sean felt the heat creeping back over him, along with a stunning certainty that Alan had known exactly why Sean needed to hide behind the bar post-mistletoe. "I'm not projecting. I just know you liberals like having a captive audience. And freaky bondage scenes."
"Sean, if you want me to tie you up, all you have to do is ask."
"That's it, I'm walking." Sean unfastened his seat belt and reached for the door handle.
Alan locked the doors and grabbed Sean's arm. "Oh, no you don't. You're too drunk and too pretty to be walking the streets all alone."
Sean slouched back into his seat, laughing. "And you're going to be my knight in shining armor?"
Alan smiled, loosening his grip on Sean's arm and letting his hand slide down to hold Sean's hand. "Do you want me to be?"
"Oh, now who's projecting, Captain Psychology?"
"If we're both projecting, maybe we should just stop beating around the bush and do something about it."
Sean had a very definite feeling that he wasn't supposed to be holding hands with another man, and that their conversation was going someplace it shouldn't go in any version of reality that he understood, but he couldn't seem to make himself let go of Alan's hand.
"Sean," Alan said quietly, "I'm going to ask you a question, and if the answer is no, I'll never mention it again. If the answer is yes, I promise you that anything that happens afterward never leaves this car." Now there was only the faintest hint of a smile underneath his seriousness. "Do you want me to kiss you? For real this time?"
Sean felt a nervous shiver threatening to tear through him, the kind he hadn't felt since his first day on the air. "I can't... I'm straight... I'm a Republican..."
Now Alan was smiling again. "None of those words were 'yes' or 'no'." He didn't make a move, just stroked the back of Sean's hand with his thumb.
Sean swallowed hard, closed his eyes. "Yes," he whispered.
"Oh, Sean." Alan was tugging on his wrist now, pulling Sean toward him. "It's okay." He leaned over the center console to cup Sean's face with his other hand. When his lips met Sean's, it was gentle, not at all like Sean had always imagined being kissed by another man would be. Alan teased Sean's lower lip first, then his upper lip, and Sean moaned softly, parting his lips to welcome Alan's tongue. Alan's kiss grew deeper, more insistent, and Sean felt his own nervous excitement exploding into aching, fiery arousal. He buried his free hand in Alan's hair, a low growl of need rumbling in his throat.
When Alan finally pulled away, Sean was breathing hard, his eyes unfocused, his already form-fitting jeans agonizingly tight. He blinked and tried to catch his breath. "Oh God," he gasped as Alan kissed his jawline, nibbled at his earlobe. "Just like a liberal, leading upstanding -" he inwardly winced at the choice of words, given his present condition, "- conservatives down the path of corruption and moral turpitude..."
"Do you want me to stop?" There was a smile in Alan's voice as he whispered in Sean's ear.
"Oh no, don't you even think about cutting and running now, Colmes."
Alan chuckled softly and kissed Sean again as he climbed over the center console and straddled Sean's lap. "Typical conservative," he murmured in between nips on Sean's lower lip. "Under all the moralizing rhetoric there's a simmering cauldron of forbidden desires just waiting to boil over."
Sean was temporarily distracted from replying when Alan reached down and pulled the seat recline lever, putting him nearly flat on his back. "You don't think I would have thought of this on my own, do you?"
Alan smiled as he unbuckled Sean's belt and undid his fly. "As I recall, you were the one who kissed me first."
Sean lifted his hips, letting Alan slide his jeans and briefs down. "That was different, that was -" He forgot what he was going to say as Alan's fingers danced over his skin and teased his erection.
"You were saying?" Alan leaned down and nuzzled Sean's neck as his hand took a firmer grip on Sean's cock.
"Nnngh," Sean gasped. The ability to speak coherently had left him for the moment. He closed his eyes, clutching at the edge of the seat, biting his lip to keep from moaning out loud. It felt good, it felt so goddamn good, and somehow the feeling of being bare from waist to mid-thigh was exhilarating and exciting instead of cheap and tawdry, and on an almost-subconscious level, he knew that it was because it was Alan touching him, kind, thoughtful, gentle Alan, who would never betray him or judge him. His liberal.
"Alan." Sean finally managed to make his vocal cords work.
"Hmmm?" Alan kissed Sean's chin, the corner of his mouth. His hand was moving in firm, steady strokes.
"It's you. You're the only one... oh God..." Sean could feel the hot waves of energy building, radiating through him, concentrating where Alan caressed him. "I'd never do this with anybody else."
"You'd never have to," Alan whispered, pressing his lips to Sean's again.
Sean gave up all pretense of rationality and surrendered to Alan's kiss, his touch. He moaned low in his throat, moving his hips to meet Alan's strokes. His breathing quickened as Alan moved his hand faster, and then he was exploding in electric white heat, coming hard in Alan's grasp. Alan slowed his rhythm but didn't stop, wringing every last shudder of Sean's climax from him.
Alan shifted his position, fitting himself in between Sean's side and the door, and Sean could feel the other man's excitement against his hip, hot and hard underneath his trousers. Alan's mouth left his, tracing a line of kisses along his jaw to his ear. "Sean," he said, his voice rough with lust, "touch me."
Sean wouldn't have thought he had any arousal left, but he felt his heart racing again as he brought his hand to Alan's pants, running his fingers over the bulge. Alan helped him out by unbuttoning and unzipping his fly. Sean reached inside and felt sleek fabric over swollen flesh. He looked down and couldn't suppress a snicker. "Nice," he said, stroking Alan's erection through his bright red silk boxers.
"I told you I was in a holiday mood," Alan grinned.
"Shouldn't they have menorahs on them or something?"
"Maybe you can get me some next year."
"Count on it."
"Mmmm..." Alan kissed Sean again, folding his hand over Sean's, guiding his caresses. For the second time that night, the second time in twelve years, Sean was content to let his partner take control. He closed his eyes and savored the warmth of Alan's hand on his, Alan's mouth on his, Alan's cock under the thin silk. "Sean... Sean..." Alan murmured as he came.
Sean wrapped his arms around Alan, holding him close. "My liberal," he sighed. "Stay with me. Please."
"I was planning to, remember?"
"I mean the show. Don't leave." He opened his eyes, looking at Alan. "I need you." He swallowed. "This isn't the only thing I don't want to do with anybody else."
"Oh, Sean." Alan kissed his forehead. "I'll always be your friend. And your lover, if that's what you want. But you know I just can't do it anymore."
Sean closed his eyes again, nestling his head under Alan's chin. "Do you?"
"Do I what?"
"Love me?"
"Sean, after twelve years, you have to ask?"
***
Alan didn't sleep on the couch that night.
***
"Try it on," Sean said, after the cameras stopped rolling on their final show.
Alan smiled, slipping his own watch off and taking the Rolex out of its case. As he undid the clasp, he noticed the inscription on the back.
For my liberal.
Always, Sean.
"So," he said, fastening it around his wrist, "are you secure enough in your masculinity to let me hug you in front of the production staff?"
Sean's answer was to pull Alan into his arms. "Is this going to end the same way our last public display of affection did?" Sean whispered, too softly for any of the crew to hear.
"I hope so," Alan grinned. "But maybe we should use the back seat this time."
"If this keeps up, my car won't be a no-liberal zone anymore."
"Neither will its owner."
"Love you, Alan."
"Love you, Sean."
-end-
A Boy and His Liberal
by
Dara Sue Vega
Disclaimer: The following is a work of fiction, intended as entertainment/satire only. Any real names or background details are used for verisimilitude only. This is in no way intended as a statement or implication of actual facts about any persons or institutions referenced herein.
***
It started, as so many questionable things do, with a kiss under the mistletoe. It wasn't even a real kiss, or at least, it wasn't supposed to be.
They were at the Fox News "Holiday Party." There was an open bar, but thanks to budget cuts, no bartender. Sean Hannity had just poured himself a rum and Coke and stepped out from behind the counter when he nearly ran into his soon-to-be-ex-partner.
"Hey, Alan."
"Hey, Sean."
"Great party, huh?"
Alan laughed, rolling his eyes. "Yeah. I can't wait to see who ends up wearing the lampshade this year."
"Kiss him already, Al!" yelled a voice from the crowd. It sounded suspiciously like Shepard Smith.
Sean must have looked confused, because Alan pointed above their heads at a sprig of mistletoe dangling from one of the ceiling lights. He grinned impishly. "So, are you secure enough in your masculinity to give your favorite liberal a little Christmas smooch?"
The drink in Sean's hand wasn't his first of the night. If it had been, he might not have done what he did next, which was set it down on the bar, grip Alan's face with both hands, and lay an exaggerated, lip-smacking kiss on the very surprised pundit.
The handful of people who'd been paying attention cheered. When Sean let go of him, Alan grabbed his hand and led him in an overly-dramatic stage bow. "Okay, show's over, folks," Alan grinned.
"This better not show up on YouTube," muttered Sean. He could feel a blush creeping over his face, and another kind of heat building a little lower down. He picked up his drink and stepped back behind the bar, hoping nobody else would see any significance in this action.
"I'm pretty sure the only person sober enough to think of it is Bill," said Alan, sitting down on a barstool, "and you know how he feels about new-fangled gizmos like camera phones. Hey, as long as you're back there, why don't you make me a frozen mudslide?"
Sean looked around, relieved at the distraction. "They didn't give us a blender."
"How about a Kahlua and cream?"
Sean opened the mini-fridge. "Kahlua and eggnog okay?"
"Sure. I'm in a festive holiday mood." Alan smiled.
"Obviously." Sean concentrated on mixing Alan's drink.
"Hey, you're lucky I didn't ask for a Screaming Orgasm."
Sean laughed, shaking his head as he set the glass down in front of his partner. "You're never going to let me forget this, are you?"
Alan grinned. "I promise not to mention it on the air." He took a sip of his drink.
"Sorry, there's no nutmeg, either." Sean went to work on his rum and Coke.
"I'll live." Alan licked his lips. "Not bad."
Sean nearly choked. "Please be talking about the drink," he managed between gasps.
Alan laughed, reaching over the bar to clap Sean on the back. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you nervous. Your heterosexuality is safe." He took another sip. "Actually, I'm really proud of you. When we first started, I think you would have punched me for even suggesting that."
"This is why I need to get rid of you. You're a bad influence."
"You'll miss me when I'm gone, admit it."
Sean's smile subsided into a more bittersweet twist at the corner of his mouth. "Yeah."
"Don't get sappy on me, Hannity. I won't be far away."
"It's not gonna be the same without you."
"Yeah, you probably won't get as much hate mail."
Sean smiled. "Did I tell you about this new segment we're doing? It's a voicemail thing where liberals can call in and insult me."
"The 'Hate Hannity Hotline'?"
Sean's eyes widened. "Hey, that's a really good title."
"I won't even charge you royalties."
"You're a good guy, Alan."
"I think that's the nicest thing you've ever said to me," Alan chuckled.
"No, I really mean it," Sean insisted, finishing his drink. "I don't know if I could have done this without you." He immediately poured himself another one.
"How many of those have you had? You're getting a little maudlin."
"Three... ish." Or was it four? The last one was starting to really kick in.
"Do you want to sit down? I think a table just freed up."
Sean looked over to see where Alan was pointing. Megyn Kelly was walking briskly away from a corner booth while an undaunted Bill O'Reilly chased after her. Sean rolled his eyes. "He's out of his league."
"I think he likes the abuse."
"Kind of like somebody else I know." Sean winked.
"Careful, I might think you're flirting with me."
Sean laughed. "You wish." He could feel his face reddening again and hoped Alan wouldn't read any more into it than the combination of amusement and alcohol.
"Hey, liberal, remember? I'm not threatened by alternative lifestyles."
"But you're my liberal."
"Not for much longer."
Sean sighed. "I guess we should make the most of it... wait, did that sound really gay?"
"That's it," said Alan, reaching over and gently removing Sean's drink from his hand. "I'm cutting you off."
"Hey, you can't do that, this is America!"
"Just think of me as the Nanny State in microcosm." He nodded his head toward the vacant booth. "Come on, let's sit down."
Sean decided to humor Alan, in the hopes that he'd get his drink back at some point. As he stepped out from behind the bar, he tripped over his own feet. Adding to the embarrassment factor, Alan caught him.
"Obviously cutting you off was the right call."
"Damn it, now people are really going to talk." Sean regained his footing as Alan steadied him with an arm around his waist.
"Too bad we're not closer to the dance floor."
"I'm not sober enough to lead right now."
"Who says you get to lead?"
"Come on, everybody knows I'm the man in this relationship."
"Aww, you conservatives are so cute when you're insecure."
"I'm perfectly secure, thank you very much." Sean felt the need to emphasize this, seeing as he was presently a good deal closer to another man than he usually preferred to be.
"So why are you blushing?"
"I am not!"
"Ah, denial, another hallmark of the right wing." Alan guided Sean into the seat, and scooted in next to him. "If you get arrested in an airport men's room, I'm not bailing you out, just so you know."
"Why do you liberals always think everybody's gay?"
"Because so many people are?"
"Hmmmph." Sean rested his head on his hand. "Either change the subject or give me back my drink."
"Okay," said Alan, finishing his eggnog. "How are you getting home?"
"Driving."
"The hell you are. Give me your keys."
"Okay, I've had just about enough of your Big Brother -"
"Your keys." Alan held his hand out sternly. "Don't make me go in your pocket and get them."
"I thought I told you to change the subject." Sean acquiesced and dug his keychain out of his jacket pocket, dropping it into Alan's palm.
Alan looked at the "I [heart] [the GOP]" fob and smiled. "You're still using the one I gave you last year."
"I'll treasure it forever, just like our friendship."
"Careful, I might have to kiss you again."
"Good God, man, this is a public place. Control your unnatural urges."
"You mean until we can get to someplace more private?"
Sean buried his face in his hands, partly because he was too busy shaking with laughter to formulate a retort, and partly so Alan wouldn't make fun of him for blushing again.
***
Forty minutes later, Sean was very earnestly explaining why Reagan was the greatest President ever.
"...and he personally defeated Communism! We'd all be speaking Russian if it weren't for him!"
Alan just shook his head, rolling his eyes. "I think it's past your bedtime. Say goodbye to Greta and let's get out of here."
"Are you going to give me my car keys back?"
"Nope. I'm going to drive you home."
"But how will you get home?"
"I'll just borrow your car and pick you up tomorrow."
"Oh, no. You are not parking my brand new Escalade out on the street in the city."
"Then I guess it's a good thing you have a comfy couch."
***
After several effusive goodbyes to colleagues and coworkers and one bathroom stop, they had finally made their way down to the garage and managed to locate Sean's much-touted hybrid Escalade.
"Just so you know, this car is a no-liberal zone normally," said Sean as Alan found the Unlock button on the alarm remote. "You should feel really special right now."
"Oh, believe me, I do."
"You're only allowed in it because you're my liberal."
"And because I'm the one with the keys." Alan made sure Sean got in the car, closed the door behind him, then went around to the other side and climbed into the driver's seat.
"And I don't want to hear any of your left-wing propaganda."
"Or what? You'll get out and walk?"
"Maybe." Sean was having some trouble with his seat belt.
"Here." Alan reached over and put his hand on Sean's, helping him guide the tab into the buckle.
"Finally got me right where you want me, huh?"
Alan laughed. "Remind me to have a little talk with you about the concept of 'projection' sometime." He let his hand linger on Sean's for a second longer than necessary.
Sean felt the heat creeping back over him, along with a stunning certainty that Alan had known exactly why Sean needed to hide behind the bar post-mistletoe. "I'm not projecting. I just know you liberals like having a captive audience. And freaky bondage scenes."
"Sean, if you want me to tie you up, all you have to do is ask."
"That's it, I'm walking." Sean unfastened his seat belt and reached for the door handle.
Alan locked the doors and grabbed Sean's arm. "Oh, no you don't. You're too drunk and too pretty to be walking the streets all alone."
Sean slouched back into his seat, laughing. "And you're going to be my knight in shining armor?"
Alan smiled, loosening his grip on Sean's arm and letting his hand slide down to hold Sean's hand. "Do you want me to be?"
"Oh, now who's projecting, Captain Psychology?"
"If we're both projecting, maybe we should just stop beating around the bush and do something about it."
Sean had a very definite feeling that he wasn't supposed to be holding hands with another man, and that their conversation was going someplace it shouldn't go in any version of reality that he understood, but he couldn't seem to make himself let go of Alan's hand.
"Sean," Alan said quietly, "I'm going to ask you a question, and if the answer is no, I'll never mention it again. If the answer is yes, I promise you that anything that happens afterward never leaves this car." Now there was only the faintest hint of a smile underneath his seriousness. "Do you want me to kiss you? For real this time?"
Sean felt a nervous shiver threatening to tear through him, the kind he hadn't felt since his first day on the air. "I can't... I'm straight... I'm a Republican..."
Now Alan was smiling again. "None of those words were 'yes' or 'no'." He didn't make a move, just stroked the back of Sean's hand with his thumb.
Sean swallowed hard, closed his eyes. "Yes," he whispered.
"Oh, Sean." Alan was tugging on his wrist now, pulling Sean toward him. "It's okay." He leaned over the center console to cup Sean's face with his other hand. When his lips met Sean's, it was gentle, not at all like Sean had always imagined being kissed by another man would be. Alan teased Sean's lower lip first, then his upper lip, and Sean moaned softly, parting his lips to welcome Alan's tongue. Alan's kiss grew deeper, more insistent, and Sean felt his own nervous excitement exploding into aching, fiery arousal. He buried his free hand in Alan's hair, a low growl of need rumbling in his throat.
When Alan finally pulled away, Sean was breathing hard, his eyes unfocused, his already form-fitting jeans agonizingly tight. He blinked and tried to catch his breath. "Oh God," he gasped as Alan kissed his jawline, nibbled at his earlobe. "Just like a liberal, leading upstanding -" he inwardly winced at the choice of words, given his present condition, "- conservatives down the path of corruption and moral turpitude..."
"Do you want me to stop?" There was a smile in Alan's voice as he whispered in Sean's ear.
"Oh no, don't you even think about cutting and running now, Colmes."
Alan chuckled softly and kissed Sean again as he climbed over the center console and straddled Sean's lap. "Typical conservative," he murmured in between nips on Sean's lower lip. "Under all the moralizing rhetoric there's a simmering cauldron of forbidden desires just waiting to boil over."
Sean was temporarily distracted from replying when Alan reached down and pulled the seat recline lever, putting him nearly flat on his back. "You don't think I would have thought of this on my own, do you?"
Alan smiled as he unbuckled Sean's belt and undid his fly. "As I recall, you were the one who kissed me first."
Sean lifted his hips, letting Alan slide his jeans and briefs down. "That was different, that was -" He forgot what he was going to say as Alan's fingers danced over his skin and teased his erection.
"You were saying?" Alan leaned down and nuzzled Sean's neck as his hand took a firmer grip on Sean's cock.
"Nnngh," Sean gasped. The ability to speak coherently had left him for the moment. He closed his eyes, clutching at the edge of the seat, biting his lip to keep from moaning out loud. It felt good, it felt so goddamn good, and somehow the feeling of being bare from waist to mid-thigh was exhilarating and exciting instead of cheap and tawdry, and on an almost-subconscious level, he knew that it was because it was Alan touching him, kind, thoughtful, gentle Alan, who would never betray him or judge him. His liberal.
"Alan." Sean finally managed to make his vocal cords work.
"Hmmm?" Alan kissed Sean's chin, the corner of his mouth. His hand was moving in firm, steady strokes.
"It's you. You're the only one... oh God..." Sean could feel the hot waves of energy building, radiating through him, concentrating where Alan caressed him. "I'd never do this with anybody else."
"You'd never have to," Alan whispered, pressing his lips to Sean's again.
Sean gave up all pretense of rationality and surrendered to Alan's kiss, his touch. He moaned low in his throat, moving his hips to meet Alan's strokes. His breathing quickened as Alan moved his hand faster, and then he was exploding in electric white heat, coming hard in Alan's grasp. Alan slowed his rhythm but didn't stop, wringing every last shudder of Sean's climax from him.
Alan shifted his position, fitting himself in between Sean's side and the door, and Sean could feel the other man's excitement against his hip, hot and hard underneath his trousers. Alan's mouth left his, tracing a line of kisses along his jaw to his ear. "Sean," he said, his voice rough with lust, "touch me."
Sean wouldn't have thought he had any arousal left, but he felt his heart racing again as he brought his hand to Alan's pants, running his fingers over the bulge. Alan helped him out by unbuttoning and unzipping his fly. Sean reached inside and felt sleek fabric over swollen flesh. He looked down and couldn't suppress a snicker. "Nice," he said, stroking Alan's erection through his bright red silk boxers.
"I told you I was in a holiday mood," Alan grinned.
"Shouldn't they have menorahs on them or something?"
"Maybe you can get me some next year."
"Count on it."
"Mmmm..." Alan kissed Sean again, folding his hand over Sean's, guiding his caresses. For the second time that night, the second time in twelve years, Sean was content to let his partner take control. He closed his eyes and savored the warmth of Alan's hand on his, Alan's mouth on his, Alan's cock under the thin silk. "Sean... Sean..." Alan murmured as he came.
Sean wrapped his arms around Alan, holding him close. "My liberal," he sighed. "Stay with me. Please."
"I was planning to, remember?"
"I mean the show. Don't leave." He opened his eyes, looking at Alan. "I need you." He swallowed. "This isn't the only thing I don't want to do with anybody else."
"Oh, Sean." Alan kissed his forehead. "I'll always be your friend. And your lover, if that's what you want. But you know I just can't do it anymore."
Sean closed his eyes again, nestling his head under Alan's chin. "Do you?"
"Do I what?"
"Love me?"
"Sean, after twelve years, you have to ask?"
***
Alan didn't sleep on the couch that night.
***
"Try it on," Sean said, after the cameras stopped rolling on their final show.
Alan smiled, slipping his own watch off and taking the Rolex out of its case. As he undid the clasp, he noticed the inscription on the back.
For my liberal.
Always, Sean.
"So," he said, fastening it around his wrist, "are you secure enough in your masculinity to let me hug you in front of the production staff?"
Sean's answer was to pull Alan into his arms. "Is this going to end the same way our last public display of affection did?" Sean whispered, too softly for any of the crew to hear.
"I hope so," Alan grinned. "But maybe we should use the back seat this time."
"If this keeps up, my car won't be a no-liberal zone anymore."
"Neither will its owner."
"Love you, Alan."
"Love you, Sean."
-end-