Boys vs Girls

[teribeth]

I posted this as a comment and I'm reposting it here to see the response I get. Oh, and also cause I'm bored. (*The genders portrayed here are exagerated for the sake of example. Any resemblence to persons living or dead is completely coincidental and stuff. **Oh, also these are 'default' modes, if you will. I am not the girl in the example, but I

Comments

[obandirk]

I think the best response to that is my friend Lee's quote.

"girls are crazy and boys are stupid"

She is a trip and I think she got it right most of the time :)

[teribeth]

Her comment is much more of a nutshell than mine. I have half of it on a t-shirt: "Boys are stupid. Throw rocks at them." I got the shirt specifically at a time in my life when it seemed like every guy was being completely random and frustrating. I then found out that a shirt insulting boys is the best way to have them start a conversation with you, especially if they're cute. Whoda thunk?

[nysnowbrd]

send it to me??? :D

[chron_job]

I hear that quote a lot. It pisses me off a little.

While many might make internal correlations between complexity and intelligence, being straightforward does not mean being stupid, and being convoluted does not inherently mean being non-stupid.

As illustration, the Mouse trap in the old, Ideal booard game of the same name, was not a "Smart" trap.

[kenshusei]

A few years ago, Monica and I agreed to stop mind-reading.

For instance, if she says "I don't care where we eat" but she really does, it isn't my job to perceive that and then intuitively pick the restaurant she wants. Or, more plainly, I won't let myself be accountable for not picking that restaurant. She could have prevented the result by saying what was on her mind.

Likewise, if I say that something isn't bothering me, but it really is, she is welcome to take my claim at face value. Clearly, knowing me as well as she does, she could probably intuit otherwise, but I certainly don't have any justified expectation of her doing so, nor do I have much ground to stand on if I get very snappish about it later on. If I don't say it, I don't consider her obligated to perceive it or act accordingly.

The whole goal is just to get better at speaking our minds. It's tougher than it sounds, but it really has simplified things a great deal.

[teribeth]

As a kid I'd hear those "Communication is important to a relationship" comments and say "Well, yeah!" but these days it acts as more of a reminder about what I've thought but not verbalized that I ought to verbalize.

On the flip side, there are some things that don't need to be said. For example, if I say I don't care about where we eat dinner, he still shouldn't suggest a place that serves only spicy food because I will only say no. If he says he doesn't care about what movie we go see, I shouldn't pick Happy Feet (even though there are dancing penguins in it! Who can't love dancing penguins?)