OMG! A fic written in second person O_O There must be a blue moon in the sky! I'm thrilled to see that they do exist. Very challenging style to write in, I've tried it twice myself. You really nailed it...capturing Elena's voice beautifully and her emotions ring so strongly to the audience.
There's some really killer lines in here, especially the beginning: You love the way it tingles on your tongue and the way it soothes your throat when you swallow, you love the sweetness it carries. You don’t anymore.
You look him in the eye and you lie. He looks at you with trust and you smile back and break it.
The liquid hits your taste buds and it’s bitter. It tingles on your tongue and you find it revolting. You swallow a sip and it catches in your throat. - Ouch, there goes my heart ;_;
I know in my heart that he wouldn't just let her walk away. He'll find her, he always finds her♥
I love long reviews too! Can't quite describe the look of joy that hits your face when you open up your fic and see one waiting for you :P
BTW, I adored your fic so much, I incorporated a comment about the flavor of the champagne and memory of it into my fic :D So THANK YOU for the inspiration!
Oh wow, 2nd person? Pretty much never see those anymore...and it just works that way. I love this insight into what she could have been thinking about, and especially after, walking out of the room and sitting outside trying not to scream... I love "your blood is poison"
And yeah I know second person isn't the most popular, but I wanted to see what I could do with it and I know that when done right it packs an extra punch that the first and third person can't quite manage. I don' know just how good I made it, but I think I'm satisfied with the result either way.
And after all the drama that surrounds her blood I think 'poison' is kinda appropriate ;)
Comments 6
Thanks so much for this!
Spikey
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There's some really killer lines in here, especially the beginning:
You love the way it tingles on your tongue and the way it soothes your throat when you swallow, you love the sweetness it carries. You don’t anymore.
You look him in the eye and you lie. He looks at you with trust and you smile back and break it.
The liquid hits your taste buds and it’s bitter. It tingles on your tongue and you find it revolting. You swallow a sip and it catches in your throat.
- Ouch, there goes my heart ;_;
I know in my heart that he wouldn't just let her walk away. He'll find her, he always finds her♥
-memes- Beautifully done!
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I LOVE long reviews, so this one makes me especially happy :D
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I love long reviews too! Can't quite describe the look of joy that hits your face when you open up your fic and see one waiting for you :P
BTW, I adored your fic so much, I incorporated a comment about the flavor of the champagne and memory of it into my fic :D So THANK YOU for the inspiration!
Reply
Reply
And yeah I know second person isn't the most popular, but I wanted to see what I could do with it and I know that when done right it packs an extra punch that the first and third person can't quite manage. I don' know just how good I made it, but I think I'm satisfied with the result either way.
And after all the drama that surrounds her blood I think 'poison' is kinda appropriate ;)
Reply
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