[Essay] T&T and their relationship + sex, or lack thereof
Just...getting my head around these two some more. This will be a little tricky, since this is dealing with both before they both reciprocate their love (via pda |D) and during/after.
Summary
- Their relationship is pseudo-incestual, and thus causes problems within Yuno (incest is illegal) and outside Yuno, in particular, Prontera (incest is also illegal there).
* This illegality also makes it hard for them to 1) come to terms with how they feel and 2) give actions to their feelings.
- They’re both passive and emotionally retarded and don’t like dealing with problems.
Their relationship, while not physically incestual, is emotionally incestual. This comes with a bundle of controversy, politically, socially and mentally.
The problems with having a pseudo-incestual relationship.
1) [Politically] They are both very, very high profile citizens of Yuno, where incest is illegal.
This means they are virtually celebrities and/or politicians(?), even if both of them don’t really bother with it. This means they kind of get this whole thing where someone somewhere is probably watching what they do, who they talk to, who they invite into their home, and subsequent gossip and public speculation of their activities. Because they appear to be closer than brothers, there is speculation that those two are actually lovers and having sex.
On Yuno’s side, there is the problem that incest is against the law. But these are two Transcendents, one of whom is a high wizard (and everyone knows from history books that high wizards are crazy as fuck and liable to destroy stuff), so there’s the question of whether the law should pry into this matter at all, or turn a blind eye to it. Yuno law enforcers might not be too keen on throwing people who could effortlessly overpower them in jail (if that’s what they even do to law breakers). Eventually the Council was finally pressured to look into matters in The Problem with Euphemisms by their people and other nations, but although it declared T&T’s relationship perfectly innocuous, it didn’t completely stop the rumours.
When T&T started to openly display affection that really can’t be written off as an extremely strong brotherly bond, Yuno was once again, put in a difficult position. This time they declared, T&T’s relationship was not incestual, as Tyler is adopted, and therefore were not breaking the law, and completely avoided having to deal with this annoyance of T&T’s relationship
However, in a more nationwide perspective (mainly Prontera, every other city aside from Morroc?), having people in power who are…doing illegal/sinful?(can’t think of the right word for it right now) stuff, even if it technically isn’t, gives them a bad impression of Yuno. However, despite the pressure they placed on the Yuno Council to do something about it, the fact remains that there was no concrete evidence T&T were having sex with each other, thus what they are doing is not illegal. Because Prontera’s kind of at loggerheads with Yuno, this just adds another reason for Prontera not to like Yuno, and Yuno to be wary.
When uh, T&T were openly making out, all those political negotiations were kind of shot to hell. So Yuno kindly reminded Prontera that although the two are rather strange Transcendents, they are Transcendents nevertheless, who each have the destructive capability of more than an army. At least, that’s what Yuno said, and reminded Prontera about Kathryn Keyron (despite the fact that Yuno was undiscovered and unaffected by Prontera at the time).
As can be seen from this, although T&T are pawns or tools for the Yuno Council to use as they see fit, T&T’s relationship with each other causes quite a lot of problems for the Council to deal with, and that’s not even counting the problems that arise from their personalities.
2) [Socially] People in high positions of power doing morally objectionable acts tends to attract scorn or disgust from others.
Unfortunately, the Yunoan citizens I have shown so far don’t seem to mind it at all. However, it still stands that neither of them get as much respect as they would have if they didn’t know each other at all. Before they got together, this was less of a problem since there really wasn’t any rock hard evidence of them having a romantic relationship. The whole sleeping in the same bed thing could be written off as an eccentricity (haha, we’re not elite enough to understand them), and there was the fact that Trian was uh, mentally insane for a period of time so.
But when T&T got together, well, there was a kind of underlying feeling of disgust for a chunk of the citizens of Yuno, as people in positions of power are supposed to set a good example for the younger, more impressionable generation. WHICH THOSE TWO WEREN’T REALLY DOING. And while some can respect those two for attaining Transcendent status, those who see their relationship as incestual probably can’t respect them as people. I suppose they’d be treated similar to high-profile gays in a nation where sodomy is considered a sin an illegal (which is not Yuno).
Either way, their relationship with each other only increases their isolation from the rest of the population. Already, people tend to have difficulty relating to T&T individually as people rather than celebrities or idols(?), because wow, Transcendents are really rare (although within their timeline, there were 6, including them orz). Even before, these two were relatively isolated from Yunoan society, living in one of the corners of Yuno, and there’s the fact their parents (or Trian’s at least) work for the Pronteran Church. Plus, individually, Trian isn’t respected because he is lazy, and Tyler isn’t because of him being blind and Yunoans being unable to relate to people with disabilities (generally Yunoans don’t treat the handicapped very well, and in Tyler’s case, was taken advantage of). Although after Transcending, Tyler isn’t looked down on so much anymore, there’s still a he’s blind so he can’t do these things kind of feeling, which hinders rapport.
3) [Mentally] Both are in love with the person they consciously view as their brother.
This is the biggest problem they had to overcome, because even after they got together, there was this nagging little voice at the back of their mind that told them that having a romantic relationship with your brother is wrong. If they were not brothers, it’s far more likely they would have gotten together sooner and done each other and readers and writer alike would be happy. Although, at the same time, if they were not brothers, the reasons for the attraction in the first place would not have happened /o\
For Tyler, this was quite bad, since he has the ‘better’ moral compass of the pair. Tyler had two choices presented to him, to love him or to love him, and although both paths were going to be wrought with hardship, Tyler chose the one that would, unfortunately, bring him more. However, Tyler doesn’t see the hardship is a bad thing, because he believes you need to experience hardship to understand what joy is. Tyler kind of accepted his feelings for Trian, because they were, for the most part, non-romantic and non-sexual. Uh, but he kind of consciously justified the romantic (although really, what does that mean?) and (few) sexual feelings by telling himself Trian isn’t his blood brother, which therefore doesn’t make it incest. But being able to know Trian physically, not just mentally or presence wise, makes Trian feel more real to Tyler as well.
For Trian, this was actually a lot worse, because of his pride (and subsequent denial) and tendency to stick to certain social and moral norms. He thinks he’s straight, he wants to believe he’s straight, and there the fact he spent quite a lot of time telling himself he wasn’t attracted to another man sort of made their relationship a bit awkward. Then there’s the fact he also spent a lot of time telling himself he wouldn’t indulge in ‘wrong’ doings.
The fact is, Trian’s not straight, gay, bi, or whatever else. He’s just Tyler-sexual.
I’d imagine the whole reason why they managed to even get this far in their relationship was because of that aphrodisiac incident (which I’ve now made canon, although it needs some reworking before I can properly consider it canon; there was some major OOC wtfness there), which gave them the push they needed to overcome their inertia.
The thing is, it’s not really attraction between those two that drew them together (after all, they were together from the start), and what they share doesn’t really seem to be love either. For them, it just something that happened, and they’re just two men who share something, part of which is deeply physical (in a not!sexing way).
Why they just would not be able to have sex.
Outside influences such as their reputation mostly hasn’t been included in this (although that is only really relevant for Trian), since it’s already long enough as it is. But aside from Trian and reputation, exogenous factors have little impact on how they conduct themselves, given aforementioned isolation.
1) They are too passive.
Consider this: Trian is well over one hundred and fifty before he fully realised he was in love with Tyler, while Tyler realised he was in love with Trian within a century (which is still a long, long time l-lol). There is a distinct lack of communication between these two, despite the fact they spend most of their time together, and talk a lot (albeit it's mostly one-sided). Trian doesn’t usually talk about feelings or emotions, and whenever Tyler brings up some philosophical/emotional topic, Trian tends to be evasive, or change the subject.
When Tyler realised he loved Trian, he essentially did nothing, waiting for Trian to realise it himself. Initially, Tyler believed that if he told Trian he was in love with him, Trian would either a) leave him in disgust or b) stay, but be so awkward around him that it becomes uncomfortable to be near each other. Also, point 3) factors a lot into this. Later, Tyler keeps his silence because he knows Trian is too self-absorbed/isn't ready. Although Trian still is self-absorbed even after they get together which makes this a bit of a moot point. He is perfectly willing and at home with waiting for Trian to make the first move, see point 2). Tyler seriously is the Master of Patience and all things Zen, but he is also too passive to openly push Trian in the right direction.
When Trian realised it, he initially closed himself off from Tyler because incest (even if Tyler's adopted) is supposed to be bad, y-you know? Although Trian tends to appear ‘active’, as he’s often the one seen making decisions and dragging Tyler around places and in general doing as he pleases, Trian is actually quite passive. As confident as he appears on the outside, he’s emotionally retarded, and because Tyler’s the one that evokes emotions (other than annoyance/anger/boredom) in him, Trian finds himself in unfamiliar territory, which makes him feel wimpy quail inside. This makes him doubt himself, and he kind of tried to avoid thinking about it (kind of hard when he sleeps with Tyler), which makes him unwilling to make the first move.
But, in the end, after prolly about a decade stewing on it, Trian, out of frustration, makes the first move (and subsequently knocked Tyler out l-lol). So like, wow guys, you took more than what would be two generations in a normal family (most non-mages/non-priests live to 60, later raised to 80) to get together. GOOD JOB GUYS.
2) They are comfortable where they are.
Because both of them are passive characters, they tend not to create change, rather, they adapt to change (although Trian will grumble about it). But if neither are active characters, this means no change will be imposed on their relationship unless it’s from an outside source, or one switches from passive to active.
This (being comfort in the way their relationship is) is the reason why Tyler is so willing to wait for Trian to slowly wrap his head around the idea of love. Tyler is comfortable where their relationship stands. Although he did and does want a little bit more, he doesn’t mind not getting it. He is happy and mostly pretty satisfied with what they share together. He is content with what they have, and has no real urge or incentive to push it further. Inertia, if you will.
For Trian, this is the main reason why he was unable to associate his feelings to love. He is a person who likes routine, even if the times he gets up tend to vary by a few hours. He is also a person who likes comfort, and doesn’t like change if he thinks it’s going to infringe on said comfort. He associates Tyler with comfort, but he doesn’t associate comfort with love, which he associates with ‘waste of time and effort’ and believes only fools dabble in love. So love = stupid, but he is in love with Tyler, who = comfort, which =/= stupid, rather comfort = good/love, which makes his head go around in circles. Plus love = change = bad? So Trian was shunning love living in denial for a while, because love was infringing on his comfort. But ignoring it didn’t really make it go away…He, too, is content with what they have, and out of a combination of laziness and inertia, doesn’t feel much need to push it further.
3) They are afraid that too much in their relationship will change, in a bad way.
This is strongly linked to point two, and is the BIGGEST reason why they do not, EVER, want to have sex. Consider this: When they finally moved from a close brother/friend relationship (which is what they regarded it as) to lovers that aren’t quite ready to get it on, it was a jarring experience for the both of them. When they make out, both of them move from passive to active, and both of them have something they want to prove to themself and each other. For Tyler, that something is his independence and that he may be disabled, but not an invalid, as well as his love for Trian. For Trian, that something is his masculinity (LOL?), his control, and love for Tyler.
In some ways, their step forward deeper into their relationship was a bit of a step backwards. Already, several perceived negative aspects of each other have risen from the depths of where they had hidden them.
For Tyler regarding Trian, these are Trian:
- being even more controlling, demanding and selfish
- trying to join himself to Tyler’s hip (i.e. not giving Tyler any space/room to be alone)
- ‘acting’ too much; Trian tries to act the same as he was prior (most of the time), but that in itself is a dead giveaway that he’s not being himself. At the same time, Trian is trying to prove he can top, which makes him forceful.
- being more stressed and on edge.
For Trian regarding Tyler, these are Tyler:
- being more distant and less submissive (more forward in saying no)
- topping him more than he’d like, Trian feels more like a ‘female’ D:a
Also, Trian subconsciously perceives that their moments ‘together’ together are less special, because they’re touching and hugging and kissing almost everyday now, whereas before the only times they tangled themselves together were the times they (read: he) really needed it. In a sense, he is more appreciative of those few moments than the many.
Although they haven’t verbally communicated on this, both of them agree they do not want to go any farther than they already are. To be honest, if they could turn things back to the way they were before, they would probably go for it (hindsight, I suppose, or looking through rose coloured glasses). But because they can’t, they plan on enjoying what they have now.
If one of them brings up the topic of sex and asks if the other wants to do it (not because they want to do it, but because they’re wondering if the other wants it since it’s kind of ‘logical’ to want to consummate a relationship with sex [marriage is out of the option in their opinion! Not that I actually know what Yuno’s marriages are like]. Also, the topic may come up because of someone else), though, the other would probably agree to it, after a moment of hesitation, even though they are well aware they really don’t want to do it. For Tyler, his lack of resistance comes from the part of him that does want their relationship to proceed. For Trian, it’s because it’s ‘expected’ for lovers to do so. But because of aforementioned fears, both are more likely to sort of skirt/avoid the topic, or change the subject because they don’t want to go down that path (b-but you know, give them a push and they go down rolling?). Despite their thoughts and fears, they know that if it comes up, they’re not going to be able to say ‘no’, hence the evasion since they want to avoid dealing with the consequences.
I should note that Tyler has consciously thought about all this, while Trian is doing it unconsciously.
So while the two of them are quite sure they don’t want to have sex, it still remains possible for it to happen in canon.
On that note, if someone ever asks Trian if he’s a virgin, they are probably most likely going to have sex that night, because Trian can’t stand the idea that he’s ‘innocent’ (haha what). But not without a certain amount of emo beforehand, since Trian’ll probably ask Tyler if he’s a virgin, to which the answer is ‘no’ and Trian will )8< face at him and draw away, because Tyler should belong to him only and Tyler’ll be like DON’T BE LIKE THAT, IT WAS RAPE OKAY D:
It’d be so stupid and retarded and quite possibly cliché BUT IT’D HAPPEN ANYWAY.
4) Trian is asexual has close to no libido, and Tyler is almost as bad.
I mean, come on, they spent how many years sleeping in the same bed with each other and hugging and touching and tangling legs together and kiss without meaning any of it in a sexual way? And it’s kind of obvious neither of them felt that what they were doing aroused them in any way either, or else the other would have commented on something hard poking them somewhere o__oa
Both of them have yet to find something that really turns them on down there. Although Tyler’s had sex before, he didn’t regard it as an especially pleasurable experience, more like, it was something that just happened (since at the time he didn’t know what happened to him actually was sex har har). In some ways, that has made him mentally distance himself from sex and regard it in a flat, ‘so what?’ manner. The fact that when people found out about his rapes(?), they pretty much went ‘you poor thing!’ (even though he didn’t understand at the time) has sort of made him a bit wary of/distanced from it.
Trian just…has no libido. He regards other people’s bodies as either aesthetically pleasing or not, but even pleasing ones still don’t make him feel hot inside. They’re just…nice to look at, like a good painting or sculpture. He knows about sex (Xil does a much better job at sex ed than Aleran and Rosa f-fail guys), but doesn’t see how it applies to him, since 1) he doesn’t want to spawn (kids = brats), 2) sounds like a lot of work to get pleasure out of it, and 3) he hasn’t found a woman that has interested him (he believes he is straight) in that way.
So if you have two people who really have no drive, it’s a bit hard to get them to bang each other.
5) Both of them would fail so bad in bed.