Can't Be Real - A season 9 Spuffy baby fic
Ratings: T for cussing
Pairing: Spike/Buffy
Setting: Really late season 9
WARNING: This might be triggery for some as I deal with the scenario of Spike being the father of Buffy's baby. This does deal with the night in question and how Spike could be the father. It's more light hearted than most fics that deal with this that are out now. I hope I set this up realistically and I hope this doesn't offend too many people. Read at your own risk.
Also, not beta'd
__________
“I wanna know. I want to find the guy who knocked me up.”
That was why they were here, in this corner of the world where it smelled of rotting meat, trash, and sweat. Spike hadn’t argued with Buffy. It wasn’t that he wasn’t thrilled with the idea of trying to find the wanker that gotten her pregnant and left her to stew, it was the fact he didn’t know what he felt.
Glancing over at Buffy, as they made their way down the discrepant demon alley, he tried to understand what his undead heart was telling him. She was close by his side and wearing a stupid cloak to hide her identity. Normally her closeness should have made him feel content, now it was only forcing his eyes down at her stomach. She was close to him not because she was scared for herself and felt like Spike could protect her, but because she was doing everything she could to protect the little one inside.
Shouldn’t he feel attachment to the little baby brewing in Buffy? It was a part of Buffy, Buffy’s new mini me. Maybe that was his problem. Maybe he did feel too attached to the damn thing to want to know who the father is. But wasn’t he trying to move on? Wasn’t it suppose to be over? Buffy needed normal, the kid needed normal. It didn’t need him.
Once they found the father he’d make sure the wanker paid enough child support to care for Buffy and her baby that Spike could leave them to make their own family. Buffy could then find herself a nice, normal, boring guy to be the right kind of father to the kid. It’s not like Spike wanted to be bogged down by a baby. No matter how cute, little, and adorable they are. No matter if the baby was half part Buffy. No, he hated kids anyway.
“I swear Spike, this better pan out. There is no way I want to come back here on another wild goose chase of yours.”
“It’s not a bloody goose chase alright? I got solid info on this demon. She can read genetic make up, or some such rubbish, just by touch. She’ll whip up the face and the name of our mystery man.”
“She has to touch me?” Buffy scrunched up her face in disgust.
“Yeah, just a bit.” When Buffy didn’t react he rolled his eyes. “Look, she’s harmless. She’s like Clem yeah?”
Buffy relaxed her face and just puckered her lips slightly. Spike had to look away, least his undead heart betray him again. Instead he looked straight ahead and saw that they were close to their destination. It was a small tent composed of rotting canvas and rusted metal just a few feet away.
“If this demon, whatever, thing, does anymore than touch me she won’t be touching anything else.”
“If she tries anything love, she’ll be losing more than just a few limbs.”
Out of the corner of his eye Spike saw Buffy wince and he kicked himself. He’d sometimes forget that Buffy had lost her arm earlier and that her right arm was a fake, mechanical attachment. He had to stop himself from gritting his teeth. Those memories were something he’d rather forget.
“Are we almost there?” Buffy’s rousing impatience didn’t annoy him. It only reminded him to stay focused on the task. It was something that he had to constantly remind himself, just to stay on the task, one bloody day at a time.
“Oh, right. We’re here.” Spike placed his hand gently on her back, only hovering enough to guide Buffy into the tent. He pushed back the flaps of the make shift door and entered.
******
Buffy wasn’t sure what she was expecting. She trusted Spike, more than she ever thought possible. He was family. When he’d become that she had no clue, but she knew that she needed him as much as she needed Willow, Dawn, or Xander. So she followed him to this place that looked like a scene from one of those bad apocalyptic movies starring Mel Gibson.
She tried to keep her cool and her face impassive, but the inside of the tent was horrid. There was fresh animal skin hanging from the walls, buckets filled with guts, and a pile in the corner that looked like dead skin from a large snake creature. Spike had taken her here, her heavily pregnant self, to this place? She wanted to smack him, but she had to keep up appearances. And besides, she was using most of her strength to keep down the bile that had stirred when she entered.
“Anyone home?” Spike called with a slightly cheery voice, but Buffy knew better. He was acting. Something had been bothering him for a long time and Buffy couldn’t place it. It confused her because weren’t things going so well for them? They were closer than they ever were, minus the romance equation...which was OK with her, she had a baby to deal with. She couldn’t deal with relationships right now, or love, or rejection. Or any of those things.
Right now, she was going to find the father of her child and find out what happened that night. It’s been months and she could deal. She had to, for her baby and for her sanity.
“Yesss, I’mss heress.” The new voice crept into the room and Buffy had to stop herself from jumping. She fixated on the origin of the wispy voice.
A dark green hand with only three very bent fingers delicately grabbed the flaps of the tent’s back entrance. Once the the canvas was pushed back a demon emerged that was more snake than anything else. It slid into the room with a torso of kangaroo and head of a human. Buffy couldn’t help but stare, this wasn’t a typical demon.
“We heard you had some mojo that could be useful to us. Think you could help us out?”
The creature began to move forward and this time Buffy did jump. “OK close enough! Just answer the question, kapeesh?”
The snake-y...girl (wasn’t this creature female?) narrowed her eyes. “Whass duss youss wanss?”
Buffy put her hand protectively on her stomach. It was an unconscious move that she had noticed she did often. She glanced down once and then back to the demon. “I want to know who the father of my child is.”
She felt Spike move closer, but he didn’t touch her. He was placing himself in a position to best protect her if things went wrong. Why did he bring her here again? Oh...yeah....because she had insisted.
“I canss helpsss, paymenss musss be madess.”
Spike’s voice rumbled in the tent. “What kind of payment?”
The demon seemed to ponder the question then turned slightly to Spike. “I wansss yourss belss.”
“My what?” Spike tilted his head forward and sounded utterly confused. Buffy was too.
“What’s a ‘belss’?”
A bent finger pointed to Spike’s belt.
Spike just shrugged once he understood. “My belt? Sure, you can have the bleedin’ thing. Don’t understand--”
Buffy glared at him quickly, trying to mentally slap him, and he immediately stopped talking. If the girl demon only wanted his belt for payment it was cheap and harmless enough not to cause problems. Plus it was fast and convenient so they could get out of here quickly.
Spike removed his belt and Buffy noticed he was trying to behave, but she could see his disbelief and annoyance. She tried not to smile and glanced back at the female demon, who had somehow slid right up to Buffy.
“Whoa, don’t do that, making with the creepy movement. Just tell me what I want to know.”
The crooked hand of the demon slowly inched forward towards Buffy’s swelled stomach. Buffy tensed in anticipation of an attack, even though there shouldn’t be one. She squeezed her fists tightly to keep herself from lunging at the snake girl.
As if Buffy’s stomach burned her the demon girl retracted her hand quickly and hissed. “Yousss aress Buffyss Summerssss! Youss ssrapppsss messs heres.”
“I’ll permanently trap you if you don’t get this over with.” Buffy felt her heart hammering against her rib cage and she could feel Spike’s eyes burning a hole in the back of her skull. He was uneasy with the demon’s reaction.
Oddly enough the creature calmed down and shook her human head. “I shoulds havess assss forss moresss.” Again she slowly extended her disfigured hand and placed it gingerly on Buffy’s growing stomach.
The demon in front of her furrowed her brows in concentration and Buffy knew this would work. Soon she would know the name and the face of the person she slept with that night, the man who was the father of her child.
Buffy’s heart didn’t slow. The months of wondering would come to an end. Everything had been terrifying from the first moment she had found that she had been pregnant. Fear and uncertainty had wrapped around her like a second skin. For so long she didn’t want to think about it, she didn’t even want to acknowledge it. But now, after the months of contemplating and coming to terms with it, Buffy absolutely wanted to know. She would move mountains and worlds for her child, so this should be no different. And she had Spike by her side, no matter who the father turned out to be, it wouldn’t matter. She had Spike and Spike would have her, and they could be a family...maybe, hopefully. She hadn’t actually told Spike these things...but those were her hopes.
Whatever happened that night, she was ready to find out, she was ready to face another nightmare. No more fears and questions. Buffy would beat this like she beat everything else.
“I ssssseeee himmmssss. Hess strongsss, busss weakss. Lackingss tosss diseasesss.”
“You can see even that?” Buffy was momentarily amazed at the snake girls abilities. “And what do you mean ‘lackingss tosss diseasesss’?”
“Ssseeee everyssingsss. Lackkss resisancess tosss siccnesss.”
“Last time I checked my baby was one hundred percent healthy and normal, so you might be missing the mark on that one.” Buffy scrunched up her nose, “How do you even get the name from the gene, molecule, thingys?”
“Namess aress partss off youss, fromss momentss offf birshss. Anddsss no missingss marksss, isss hiddenss.”
“I think I understood that. I’ll just get another check up soon.”
The demon began to concentrate again and Buffy felt a slight vibration run through her. Her hair on her skin was beginning to stand on end, whatever the demon was seeing Buffy felt a sudden and powerful trepidation that this information could change her world.
“Blueess eyess, weakss eyes. Hairss of darkss sandss.”
“Weak eyes? You mean like he wears glasses? My god, did I sleep with a complete dork?”
The demon ignored Buffy and continued to read whatever she was reading. Buffy didn’t even want to try to guess. “Nameess...Williamsss...”
“So the last name of Williams?” The demon’s tongue was making it hard for Buffy to understand half of what she was saying.
Removing her weathered hand from Buffy, the demon turned away to grab what looked to be paper and a strange twisted writing utensil from the floor. She quickly etched a name and gave the slip of paper to Buffy.
“William...Pratt? What kind of last name is Pratt? It almost sounds like a stupid Brit...” Buffy quickly froze as she felt the room go cold. She slowly turned to look at Spike, who had been frighteningly still and quiet throughout the whole exchange.
Instead of catching Spike stone still she saw him charge at the snake demon in a fury of blurred movements, pinning the girl to the ground with his elbow pressing into its neck.
“Where did you hear that bloody name?”
A bony crooked finger pointed at Buffy. “Chiillldssssssss.”
“No, can’t be. I’m a vampire. Bloody well can’t have brats, not in my nature. So try again, where did you hear that soddin’ name!?”
“Noss vampiress. Humanss child.”
“Not possible. A vampire and human can’t just whip up a another human, not without magic. No magic, no instant made baby. Since no one should know that name, it’s bit obvious now that you been giving us the run around to meddle with our heads the moment we arrived, haven’t you? Get it right or--”
Buffy couldn’t stand the anger and fear that had saturated the room the moment she read the name from the paper. She placed a soft hand on Spike’s shoulder and he stopped mid threat. She felt the muscles under him were tense, so tense that he was shaking. The realization of how the news must have rattled him to the point of utter disbelief almost brought tears to her eyes.
Shouldn’t this be happy news? When she realized that William Pratt was Spike a sudden and intense relief washed over her. Everything felt right. She wasn’t worried any more about that night or worried about how the father could have been an asshat. So why wasn’t Spike happy?
“Spike...”
To her surprise he shrugged her hand off his shoulder and stormed from the tent. She should be mad that he would do such a thing, to leave her pregnant and by herself in a place like this. Instead she was worried...and intensely furious at his pigheaded stupidity.
Without looking back at the snake demon on the floor Buffy rushed after Spike’s fading footsteps. He hadn’t gone far and he was easy to spot with his ridiculous hair color. Buffy pushed aside a few demons, letting her hood fall, not caring that demons might recognize her. She caught up to Spike, grabbed his elbow and harshly spun him around.
“What was that?”
“I’m not the bloody father. I can’t be. Vampires can’t have kids. Well, minus Angel, but he’s just a special poofy snowflake. I don’t fancy sitting around listening to lies. Gets us no where.”
Buffy ignored the Angel comment, she wasn’t going to think about that. Instead she just focused on saying anything to calm him down and convince him that it was truth. How it was the truth, Buffy didn’t know herself. “That night--”
As if stung, Spike cut her off. “We kissed alright! That’s all I bloody remember. Don’t remember half the night either.”
“We kissed? And you didn’t tell me?”
“Hey, look, knew it was a mistake, we were both bladdered from the drinks. Knew you didn’t want to talk about it. Didn’t want to bring it up. Can’t remember anything after that.”
“So we could have done more?”
“Does it matter? I shoot blanks, can’t get you up the duff. Vampire!” He raised his eyebrows at her as if she didn’t understand or remember that he wasn’t human. Again, she felt like she wanted to slap him. Buffy huffed and moved closer to him, trying hard not to yell.
“And where were we when we kissed and who kissed who? Do you remember that at least?”
Spike raised his eyes to the sky and Buffy watched as his jaw shook. “Your bedroom I think. I was trying to get you to drink water. You said something, don’t remember what, and you kissed me...and...bloody hell.” He quickly looked down at his shoes as if they were the most interesting shoes in the world.
Buffy furrowed her brows. “What? What? You remember something else?”
“Yeah, vaguely.”
He didn’t say anything else. Instead he closed his eyes. Buffy tried to move closer but he backed away. She was quickly losing patience. “Well Spike? Sometime this century.”
He sighed and looked at her. When she meet his eyes her impatience melted away. He looked so hurt, so lost, so utterly defeated. “Yeah I think there was more.”
“More as in more, more?”
“Buffy...even if...how could I...?”
Buffy didn’t know what to say. Was he lost because he didn’t want to be a father, did he want to run away because he wasn’t ready for the responsibility? Because of her? Or was it because of that night? Was he scared of what he did or she might have done? They had both drunk enough to get an entire frat house wasted, whatever happened was neither of their faults.
That didn’t answer the question on how. How could Spike be the father? There was no...magic. It came to her in a flash of understanding and intuition. It was almost too obvious...almost too...as if this was what the universe, this universe, decided to give her for saving it. Spike had been human recently...just for a few moments. When Severin had been draining them she had seen it. Spike had turned human just before he was suppose to die, just before Robert had shot the gun that saved them both. What if everything of him had turned human, even the parts that had still been in her? In that moment, what if it was enough time to give her life, to change from one thing to another?
This was how it had happened, it was real. It had to be. It was through the absence of magic, through her decision to destroy the seed, that new life would grow in her. It all came back around to that event. It had been a curse, something she did had been so awful, hurt so many and now she had something good to come out of it...her...no...their child.
“Spike...when Severin...when he sucked your demon magic, mojo stuff out of you...do you think he...” Buffy let her question hang.
Spike’s face turned from utter defeat to complete horror and realization. “No, I can’t be the father. I...”
“Why not? Why can’t you be the father? What’s wrong with that? Are you so scared of having a family that you’re going to deny the obvious!? You’re being a coward Spike!”
Anger was exactly what Buffy wanted and Spike's voice rose above the demon crowd that was still buzzing around them. Neither had noticed the few demons that had stopped to watch them.
“Because it’s suppose to be over! You don’t love me, you don’t need me, not really. You deserve normal, happiness! I can’t give you that. I’m suppose to move on, for you...and...your kid. What the bloody hell do I have to offer you and the bitty baby!?”
Staring at him was the only thing Buffy could do for the longest time. This was the first time he mentioned anything about his feelings for her. She had thought it was over between them too, that her feelings were now one sided. Of course she had hoped, deep within, that they could start something again in the future. He has been there for her ever since she first mentioned her pregnancy and she couldn’t even imagine how things would have been like without him. He couldn’t let his own thick headed ideas come between them now.
Without realizing it, tears had begun to stream down her face. “Everything.”
Spike’s expression changed the moment the word dropped from her mouth. His eyes widened, his eyebrows relaxed and his lips parted slightly. He looked completely shocked, as if that was the last answer he thought she would give.
“Slayer!!!” A rough and raspy yell rented the air.
Buffy glanced around trying to find the source of the voice, but all she saw were demons. They were surrounded by a group that looked ready to rip them apart eagerly. Buffy’s feet were already sore and tired, she had no idea how fast she could run and she was in no condition to fight.
So of course Spike scooped her up and ran off with her in his arms like he was some sort of dashing prince. She was not a damsel in distress though. She could have totally creamed those demon asses...no problem. Instead of letting herself admit that Spike was right to rescue her, she remained silent and tried really hard not to roll her eyes at the image of a dashing Prince Spike.
The ship wasn’t far off. They made it within a few moments of hurried movements. Buffy didn’t want to think about the horde of demons that had been at their heels. Instead when Spike closed the hatch, fell to the floor with her, and ordered the Bugs to lift off fast she relaxed and told herself to forget about the demon mess.
They remained on the floor near the hatch and an awkward silence passed between them. Buffy knew Spike had no idea what to say. Maybe he was too scared to say them? In all their time together, Buffy was finally beginning to understand him. Maybe she should risk it? Maybe now was the time to finally say it once more.
“I love you Spike.”
His shocked expression morphed into that of awe and disbelief. He stared at her with such intensity that she could almost hear his thoughts. She had stunned him to silence again and she was oddly quite proud of herself. He started to smile suddenly, giving her half a laugh as he looked at the grated floor below them.
“Buffy...I...”
He didn’t finish. Instead, for the first time, he reached out to touch her big, fat, baby filled stomach. His hand was shaking but oh so delicate. His thumb began to slowly caress her, as if what was under his hand was the most precious thing in the world. And it was. She placed her hand over his and he looked at her once more. He was crying too, even though he was smiling...a smile that she wanted to remember for the rest of their lives.
“Glasses huh? So just how big of a geek were you when you were human? And Pratt? You are never living that one down.”
__________
The End (This is a one shot.)
Pairing: Spike/Buffy
Setting: Really late season 9
WARNING: This might be triggery for some as I deal with the scenario of Spike being the father of Buffy's baby. This does deal with the night in question and how Spike could be the father. It's more light hearted than most fics that deal with this that are out now. I hope I set this up realistically and I hope this doesn't offend too many people. Read at your own risk.
Also, not beta'd
__________
“I wanna know. I want to find the guy who knocked me up.”
That was why they were here, in this corner of the world where it smelled of rotting meat, trash, and sweat. Spike hadn’t argued with Buffy. It wasn’t that he wasn’t thrilled with the idea of trying to find the wanker that gotten her pregnant and left her to stew, it was the fact he didn’t know what he felt.
Glancing over at Buffy, as they made their way down the discrepant demon alley, he tried to understand what his undead heart was telling him. She was close by his side and wearing a stupid cloak to hide her identity. Normally her closeness should have made him feel content, now it was only forcing his eyes down at her stomach. She was close to him not because she was scared for herself and felt like Spike could protect her, but because she was doing everything she could to protect the little one inside.
Shouldn’t he feel attachment to the little baby brewing in Buffy? It was a part of Buffy, Buffy’s new mini me. Maybe that was his problem. Maybe he did feel too attached to the damn thing to want to know who the father is. But wasn’t he trying to move on? Wasn’t it suppose to be over? Buffy needed normal, the kid needed normal. It didn’t need him.
Once they found the father he’d make sure the wanker paid enough child support to care for Buffy and her baby that Spike could leave them to make their own family. Buffy could then find herself a nice, normal, boring guy to be the right kind of father to the kid. It’s not like Spike wanted to be bogged down by a baby. No matter how cute, little, and adorable they are. No matter if the baby was half part Buffy. No, he hated kids anyway.
“I swear Spike, this better pan out. There is no way I want to come back here on another wild goose chase of yours.”
“It’s not a bloody goose chase alright? I got solid info on this demon. She can read genetic make up, or some such rubbish, just by touch. She’ll whip up the face and the name of our mystery man.”
“She has to touch me?” Buffy scrunched up her face in disgust.
“Yeah, just a bit.” When Buffy didn’t react he rolled his eyes. “Look, she’s harmless. She’s like Clem yeah?”
Buffy relaxed her face and just puckered her lips slightly. Spike had to look away, least his undead heart betray him again. Instead he looked straight ahead and saw that they were close to their destination. It was a small tent composed of rotting canvas and rusted metal just a few feet away.
“If this demon, whatever, thing, does anymore than touch me she won’t be touching anything else.”
“If she tries anything love, she’ll be losing more than just a few limbs.”
Out of the corner of his eye Spike saw Buffy wince and he kicked himself. He’d sometimes forget that Buffy had lost her arm earlier and that her right arm was a fake, mechanical attachment. He had to stop himself from gritting his teeth. Those memories were something he’d rather forget.
“Are we almost there?” Buffy’s rousing impatience didn’t annoy him. It only reminded him to stay focused on the task. It was something that he had to constantly remind himself, just to stay on the task, one bloody day at a time.
“Oh, right. We’re here.” Spike placed his hand gently on her back, only hovering enough to guide Buffy into the tent. He pushed back the flaps of the make shift door and entered.
******
Buffy wasn’t sure what she was expecting. She trusted Spike, more than she ever thought possible. He was family. When he’d become that she had no clue, but she knew that she needed him as much as she needed Willow, Dawn, or Xander. So she followed him to this place that looked like a scene from one of those bad apocalyptic movies starring Mel Gibson.
She tried to keep her cool and her face impassive, but the inside of the tent was horrid. There was fresh animal skin hanging from the walls, buckets filled with guts, and a pile in the corner that looked like dead skin from a large snake creature. Spike had taken her here, her heavily pregnant self, to this place? She wanted to smack him, but she had to keep up appearances. And besides, she was using most of her strength to keep down the bile that had stirred when she entered.
“Anyone home?” Spike called with a slightly cheery voice, but Buffy knew better. He was acting. Something had been bothering him for a long time and Buffy couldn’t place it. It confused her because weren’t things going so well for them? They were closer than they ever were, minus the romance equation...which was OK with her, she had a baby to deal with. She couldn’t deal with relationships right now, or love, or rejection. Or any of those things.
Right now, she was going to find the father of her child and find out what happened that night. It’s been months and she could deal. She had to, for her baby and for her sanity.
“Yesss, I’mss heress.” The new voice crept into the room and Buffy had to stop herself from jumping. She fixated on the origin of the wispy voice.
A dark green hand with only three very bent fingers delicately grabbed the flaps of the tent’s back entrance. Once the the canvas was pushed back a demon emerged that was more snake than anything else. It slid into the room with a torso of kangaroo and head of a human. Buffy couldn’t help but stare, this wasn’t a typical demon.
“We heard you had some mojo that could be useful to us. Think you could help us out?”
The creature began to move forward and this time Buffy did jump. “OK close enough! Just answer the question, kapeesh?”
The snake-y...girl (wasn’t this creature female?) narrowed her eyes. “Whass duss youss wanss?”
Buffy put her hand protectively on her stomach. It was an unconscious move that she had noticed she did often. She glanced down once and then back to the demon. “I want to know who the father of my child is.”
She felt Spike move closer, but he didn’t touch her. He was placing himself in a position to best protect her if things went wrong. Why did he bring her here again? Oh...yeah....because she had insisted.
“I canss helpsss, paymenss musss be madess.”
Spike’s voice rumbled in the tent. “What kind of payment?”
The demon seemed to ponder the question then turned slightly to Spike. “I wansss yourss belss.”
“My what?” Spike tilted his head forward and sounded utterly confused. Buffy was too.
“What’s a ‘belss’?”
A bent finger pointed to Spike’s belt.
Spike just shrugged once he understood. “My belt? Sure, you can have the bleedin’ thing. Don’t understand--”
Buffy glared at him quickly, trying to mentally slap him, and he immediately stopped talking. If the girl demon only wanted his belt for payment it was cheap and harmless enough not to cause problems. Plus it was fast and convenient so they could get out of here quickly.
Spike removed his belt and Buffy noticed he was trying to behave, but she could see his disbelief and annoyance. She tried not to smile and glanced back at the female demon, who had somehow slid right up to Buffy.
“Whoa, don’t do that, making with the creepy movement. Just tell me what I want to know.”
The crooked hand of the demon slowly inched forward towards Buffy’s swelled stomach. Buffy tensed in anticipation of an attack, even though there shouldn’t be one. She squeezed her fists tightly to keep herself from lunging at the snake girl.
As if Buffy’s stomach burned her the demon girl retracted her hand quickly and hissed. “Yousss aress Buffyss Summerssss! Youss ssrapppsss messs heres.”
“I’ll permanently trap you if you don’t get this over with.” Buffy felt her heart hammering against her rib cage and she could feel Spike’s eyes burning a hole in the back of her skull. He was uneasy with the demon’s reaction.
Oddly enough the creature calmed down and shook her human head. “I shoulds havess assss forss moresss.” Again she slowly extended her disfigured hand and placed it gingerly on Buffy’s growing stomach.
The demon in front of her furrowed her brows in concentration and Buffy knew this would work. Soon she would know the name and the face of the person she slept with that night, the man who was the father of her child.
Buffy’s heart didn’t slow. The months of wondering would come to an end. Everything had been terrifying from the first moment she had found that she had been pregnant. Fear and uncertainty had wrapped around her like a second skin. For so long she didn’t want to think about it, she didn’t even want to acknowledge it. But now, after the months of contemplating and coming to terms with it, Buffy absolutely wanted to know. She would move mountains and worlds for her child, so this should be no different. And she had Spike by her side, no matter who the father turned out to be, it wouldn’t matter. She had Spike and Spike would have her, and they could be a family...maybe, hopefully. She hadn’t actually told Spike these things...but those were her hopes.
Whatever happened that night, she was ready to find out, she was ready to face another nightmare. No more fears and questions. Buffy would beat this like she beat everything else.
“I ssssseeee himmmssss. Hess strongsss, busss weakss. Lackingss tosss diseasesss.”
“You can see even that?” Buffy was momentarily amazed at the snake girls abilities. “And what do you mean ‘lackingss tosss diseasesss’?”
“Ssseeee everyssingsss. Lackkss resisancess tosss siccnesss.”
“Last time I checked my baby was one hundred percent healthy and normal, so you might be missing the mark on that one.” Buffy scrunched up her nose, “How do you even get the name from the gene, molecule, thingys?”
“Namess aress partss off youss, fromss momentss offf birshss. Anddsss no missingss marksss, isss hiddenss.”
“I think I understood that. I’ll just get another check up soon.”
The demon began to concentrate again and Buffy felt a slight vibration run through her. Her hair on her skin was beginning to stand on end, whatever the demon was seeing Buffy felt a sudden and powerful trepidation that this information could change her world.
“Blueess eyess, weakss eyes. Hairss of darkss sandss.”
“Weak eyes? You mean like he wears glasses? My god, did I sleep with a complete dork?”
The demon ignored Buffy and continued to read whatever she was reading. Buffy didn’t even want to try to guess. “Nameess...Williamsss...”
“So the last name of Williams?” The demon’s tongue was making it hard for Buffy to understand half of what she was saying.
Removing her weathered hand from Buffy, the demon turned away to grab what looked to be paper and a strange twisted writing utensil from the floor. She quickly etched a name and gave the slip of paper to Buffy.
“William...Pratt? What kind of last name is Pratt? It almost sounds like a stupid Brit...” Buffy quickly froze as she felt the room go cold. She slowly turned to look at Spike, who had been frighteningly still and quiet throughout the whole exchange.
Instead of catching Spike stone still she saw him charge at the snake demon in a fury of blurred movements, pinning the girl to the ground with his elbow pressing into its neck.
“Where did you hear that bloody name?”
A bony crooked finger pointed at Buffy. “Chiillldssssssss.”
“No, can’t be. I’m a vampire. Bloody well can’t have brats, not in my nature. So try again, where did you hear that soddin’ name!?”
“Noss vampiress. Humanss child.”
“Not possible. A vampire and human can’t just whip up a another human, not without magic. No magic, no instant made baby. Since no one should know that name, it’s bit obvious now that you been giving us the run around to meddle with our heads the moment we arrived, haven’t you? Get it right or--”
Buffy couldn’t stand the anger and fear that had saturated the room the moment she read the name from the paper. She placed a soft hand on Spike’s shoulder and he stopped mid threat. She felt the muscles under him were tense, so tense that he was shaking. The realization of how the news must have rattled him to the point of utter disbelief almost brought tears to her eyes.
Shouldn’t this be happy news? When she realized that William Pratt was Spike a sudden and intense relief washed over her. Everything felt right. She wasn’t worried any more about that night or worried about how the father could have been an asshat. So why wasn’t Spike happy?
“Spike...”
To her surprise he shrugged her hand off his shoulder and stormed from the tent. She should be mad that he would do such a thing, to leave her pregnant and by herself in a place like this. Instead she was worried...and intensely furious at his pigheaded stupidity.
Without looking back at the snake demon on the floor Buffy rushed after Spike’s fading footsteps. He hadn’t gone far and he was easy to spot with his ridiculous hair color. Buffy pushed aside a few demons, letting her hood fall, not caring that demons might recognize her. She caught up to Spike, grabbed his elbow and harshly spun him around.
“What was that?”
“I’m not the bloody father. I can’t be. Vampires can’t have kids. Well, minus Angel, but he’s just a special poofy snowflake. I don’t fancy sitting around listening to lies. Gets us no where.”
Buffy ignored the Angel comment, she wasn’t going to think about that. Instead she just focused on saying anything to calm him down and convince him that it was truth. How it was the truth, Buffy didn’t know herself. “That night--”
As if stung, Spike cut her off. “We kissed alright! That’s all I bloody remember. Don’t remember half the night either.”
“We kissed? And you didn’t tell me?”
“Hey, look, knew it was a mistake, we were both bladdered from the drinks. Knew you didn’t want to talk about it. Didn’t want to bring it up. Can’t remember anything after that.”
“So we could have done more?”
“Does it matter? I shoot blanks, can’t get you up the duff. Vampire!” He raised his eyebrows at her as if she didn’t understand or remember that he wasn’t human. Again, she felt like she wanted to slap him. Buffy huffed and moved closer to him, trying hard not to yell.
“And where were we when we kissed and who kissed who? Do you remember that at least?”
Spike raised his eyes to the sky and Buffy watched as his jaw shook. “Your bedroom I think. I was trying to get you to drink water. You said something, don’t remember what, and you kissed me...and...bloody hell.” He quickly looked down at his shoes as if they were the most interesting shoes in the world.
Buffy furrowed her brows. “What? What? You remember something else?”
“Yeah, vaguely.”
He didn’t say anything else. Instead he closed his eyes. Buffy tried to move closer but he backed away. She was quickly losing patience. “Well Spike? Sometime this century.”
He sighed and looked at her. When she meet his eyes her impatience melted away. He looked so hurt, so lost, so utterly defeated. “Yeah I think there was more.”
“More as in more, more?”
“Buffy...even if...how could I...?”
Buffy didn’t know what to say. Was he lost because he didn’t want to be a father, did he want to run away because he wasn’t ready for the responsibility? Because of her? Or was it because of that night? Was he scared of what he did or she might have done? They had both drunk enough to get an entire frat house wasted, whatever happened was neither of their faults.
That didn’t answer the question on how. How could Spike be the father? There was no...magic. It came to her in a flash of understanding and intuition. It was almost too obvious...almost too...as if this was what the universe, this universe, decided to give her for saving it. Spike had been human recently...just for a few moments. When Severin had been draining them she had seen it. Spike had turned human just before he was suppose to die, just before Robert had shot the gun that saved them both. What if everything of him had turned human, even the parts that had still been in her? In that moment, what if it was enough time to give her life, to change from one thing to another?
This was how it had happened, it was real. It had to be. It was through the absence of magic, through her decision to destroy the seed, that new life would grow in her. It all came back around to that event. It had been a curse, something she did had been so awful, hurt so many and now she had something good to come out of it...her...no...their child.
“Spike...when Severin...when he sucked your demon magic, mojo stuff out of you...do you think he...” Buffy let her question hang.
Spike’s face turned from utter defeat to complete horror and realization. “No, I can’t be the father. I...”
“Why not? Why can’t you be the father? What’s wrong with that? Are you so scared of having a family that you’re going to deny the obvious!? You’re being a coward Spike!”
Anger was exactly what Buffy wanted and Spike's voice rose above the demon crowd that was still buzzing around them. Neither had noticed the few demons that had stopped to watch them.
“Because it’s suppose to be over! You don’t love me, you don’t need me, not really. You deserve normal, happiness! I can’t give you that. I’m suppose to move on, for you...and...your kid. What the bloody hell do I have to offer you and the bitty baby!?”
Staring at him was the only thing Buffy could do for the longest time. This was the first time he mentioned anything about his feelings for her. She had thought it was over between them too, that her feelings were now one sided. Of course she had hoped, deep within, that they could start something again in the future. He has been there for her ever since she first mentioned her pregnancy and she couldn’t even imagine how things would have been like without him. He couldn’t let his own thick headed ideas come between them now.
Without realizing it, tears had begun to stream down her face. “Everything.”
Spike’s expression changed the moment the word dropped from her mouth. His eyes widened, his eyebrows relaxed and his lips parted slightly. He looked completely shocked, as if that was the last answer he thought she would give.
“Slayer!!!” A rough and raspy yell rented the air.
Buffy glanced around trying to find the source of the voice, but all she saw were demons. They were surrounded by a group that looked ready to rip them apart eagerly. Buffy’s feet were already sore and tired, she had no idea how fast she could run and she was in no condition to fight.
So of course Spike scooped her up and ran off with her in his arms like he was some sort of dashing prince. She was not a damsel in distress though. She could have totally creamed those demon asses...no problem. Instead of letting herself admit that Spike was right to rescue her, she remained silent and tried really hard not to roll her eyes at the image of a dashing Prince Spike.
The ship wasn’t far off. They made it within a few moments of hurried movements. Buffy didn’t want to think about the horde of demons that had been at their heels. Instead when Spike closed the hatch, fell to the floor with her, and ordered the Bugs to lift off fast she relaxed and told herself to forget about the demon mess.
They remained on the floor near the hatch and an awkward silence passed between them. Buffy knew Spike had no idea what to say. Maybe he was too scared to say them? In all their time together, Buffy was finally beginning to understand him. Maybe she should risk it? Maybe now was the time to finally say it once more.
“I love you Spike.”
His shocked expression morphed into that of awe and disbelief. He stared at her with such intensity that she could almost hear his thoughts. She had stunned him to silence again and she was oddly quite proud of herself. He started to smile suddenly, giving her half a laugh as he looked at the grated floor below them.
“Buffy...I...”
He didn’t finish. Instead, for the first time, he reached out to touch her big, fat, baby filled stomach. His hand was shaking but oh so delicate. His thumb began to slowly caress her, as if what was under his hand was the most precious thing in the world. And it was. She placed her hand over his and he looked at her once more. He was crying too, even though he was smiling...a smile that she wanted to remember for the rest of their lives.
“Glasses huh? So just how big of a geek were you when you were human? And Pratt? You are never living that one down.”
__________
The End (This is a one shot.)