Same Man
(This was written from the prompt by naty_seixas for the Doctor/Rose Summer Fixathon.)
Rory and the Doctor were trapped in the bottom of a Holgathian water pit when the storm broke over their heads.
“I thought you said this was the dry season!” Rory complained as he marked the Doctor’s confounded expression.
“I did say that,” the Doctor replied. A few drops of ran splattered on his nose. “Might be off a few days. Holgathians keep a forty-five month calendar you know.”
“This is just great!” Rory exclaimed angrily, scratching at the inlaid brick walls that would soon become their tomb. The water was already beginning to pool around their ankles. “I’m supposed to be celebrating my five year tonight, with the woman I pledged my whole life to, by the way. I do take thee Amy…for the next three months, more like it!”
Rory continued to grouse as the Doctor struggled to find a solution. He waved the sonic over a loose brick and loosened the mortar with some effort.
“It could be worse,” the Doctor countered with a grimace. “You’re extraordinarily lucky to have spent the time you’ve had with Amy thus far. Not everyone is so fortunate. Sometimes you only have a few days, minutes even. At least you’ve told her you love her. You’ve said what needed saying.”
The Doctor sagged for a moment and leaned his forehead against the cool stone wall. Rory had the presence of mind to let it be…for at least thirty seconds.
“You’ve lost somebody,” Rory intoned sympathetically.
The Doctor groaned against the wall and pushed back, renewing his efforts to pull out the brick. The water was now up to their calves with no sign of abating.
“It wasn’t just anybody,” Rory continued. “Did you spend your life with her?”
The Doctor turned to face his friend as the brick relented and fell with a splash into the rising water.
“Would that I could have,” he said morosely, his voice guttural. “I loved her enough for three lifetimes, but couldn’t give her one of my own, not really. I left her with someone who could, but not a day goes by that I don’t wonder…”
“What?” Rory prompted, lost in the story and forgetting about the immanent danger of their situation.
The Doctor let his head fall back and closed his eyes, forgetting the icy rain on his face and the frigid water that was numbing his legs down to his toes. For just one moment, he could transport himself there on the beach where so many choices were made. Were they the right ones? And for who? He could still remember the look of mingled hope and desperation on her face as she asked him to complete a simple sentence. Not a difficult task.
“I love you Rose,” he said in this version occupied by his nostalgic imagination. He let his palm smack into the other Doctor’s face as he leaned in to claim his kiss from the woman who had jumped dimensions for him, and that he had burned up a sun for. It was his kiss to have and no one else’s.
But none of that happened, and the chilled feeling returned. Rose’s face dissipated.
“Sorry,” the Doctor mumbled in a choked voice. He lifted his sonic a bit higher to work on another brick as Rory looked on.
“What do you wonder?” Rory pushed on, knowing better but giving in to his baser curiosity.
The Doctor sighed heavily and resigned. “I wonder if she’s the same woman that I left behind…because I’m sure as hell the same man. I’ll always wonder if she knows that. Even if I change every atom of my being, even if I die and am regenerated as I do from time to time. That’s the constant with me. I’m the same man, that loves her, always.”
Now it was Rory’s turn to sigh. “I really don’t want to die,” he admitted. “I want to see Amy again!”
Rory looked like he was about to cry, moved nearly to tears by the Doctor’s words and perhaps just a bit, by the fact that the water was now at the level of their thighs.
The Doctor had just finally loosened the second brick when he turned back to Rory confidently.
“That is not going to happen!” he emphasized. “The dying bit, I mean.”
“Course it’s not!” Amy’s voice called down the abandoned well. “Have a line!”
A coil of rope dropped down to the men who were eyeing one another with gratitude and amusement.
“Don’t tell her I..” the Doctor began.
“If you don’t about my…” Rory interrupted.
They eyed one another significantly before ascending the rope.