Not Him
Warning: Angsty SMUT, M rating
Prompted for reallygoodcuffs Doctor Who kinkmeme after the following Anonymous prompt:
(Ten II/Rose) Ten II fucks the doubt that he's the Doctor right out of her.
Author's Note: you bet he does
“But you’re not him!” Rose snapped back as she threw her keys across the room.
They skidded across the counter before falling to the floor, and for the first time in three months, the Doctor didn’t bother to pick them back up. Instead, he stood glaring angrily at Rose’s back. Her arms were crossed in front of her chest, while she deigned a three-quarter turn in his direction.
“And you never will be,” she added meanly.
He crossed the room in three steps and had her pushed against the kitchen island before she could say another hateful word. Her folded arms, that had recently served to protect her, were now pinned neatly beneath her. The Doctor’s hot breath came in short pants against her ear as the rest of his body pressed against her.
“Say it again,” he warned. “Say it one more time.”
Rose gritted her teeth as she felt a tear gather up in her eye.
“You’re. Not. Him!” she shouted defiantly as she tried to escape his grasp.
The Doctor held her easily, but increased the pressure around her wrists to prove a point.
“I am him,” he said slowly, darkly, more deadly than she’d ever known. “I remember everything he’s done. I've experience the same emotions, the same desires. I WANT the same things.”
One of his hands released her and traced its path down her arm, until it met the curve of her hip.
Rose made a noise of protest, but he hushed her with a soft moan as he pressed himself into her backside. She froze underneath him before pushing back against him tentatively.
“I think you want the same things too,” he said softly, not masking his frustration. “Why do you play at resisting?”
Rose took advantage of his dropped guard and turned around quickly, only to be pinned by the wrists once more.
“I can’t betray him,” she answered solemnly. The fixed jut of her chin told the rest of the story.
The Doctor arched his eyebrows in pure shock.
“You think it’s cheating?” he asked openly. “Rose, you can’t cheat on me with myself.”
“Timey wimey!” Rose countered. “I can too!”
“No, you can’t!” the Doctor shot back irritatedly. “And what part of the most sanctimonious blessing of all time by ‘gifting my clone’ did you not catch? Did you want a written note of permission as well?”
Rose gaped in outrage.
“But that’s what you are, isn’t it?” she cried defiantly. “A clone? A copy? A shallow imitation of the man that risked everything and gained nothing for his efforts! He’s got nothing now, and no one! You think this is fair to him?”
“I AM HIM!” the Doctor screamed back violently. “What’s not fair is that the woman I love pretends I’m not because she’s so scared of opening up again! You look me in the eyes right now and hear this. I don’t care who you think I am, all I care about is that you know how much I love you. Outside of that, you’re right. I’m nothing. I subsist on the days your smile fills that void inside me that grows every time you don’t. I exist for you, Rose Tyler. So maybe you’re right, maybe I’m not the Doctor anymore. I’m pure expectation! I’m a heart waiting to beat!”
Rose was choking on her own words and stuttering something forgotten before it was even formulated. The Doctor was pressed against her so tightly she was gasping for air. His eyes had become liquid fire, melting the cold blood that had pumped through her veins since that day at Bad Wolf Bay. And finally, so necessarily, she broke.
“Doctor,” Rose whispered fiercely.
His tongue interrupted the second syllable when it entered her mouth roughly and tangled with her own. His hands roamed over the expanse of her back, her shoulders and her breasts, anyplace and every place he could touch. His hunger was insatiable, and stoked hers, long forgotten over the bitter years of endlessly searching for him.
His erection pushed insistently against her thin jeans as she leaned backwards on the counter, trying to wrap one leg around his waist. He realized quickly what a hindrance they were, and unceremoniously tugged them down before picking her up and dropping her on the counter before him. Rose pushed at his coat jacket as he strained to continue kissing every inch of her neck at the same time.
She gasped when he hit the spot just behind her ear and pulled achingly hard at her long blonde hair so that her neck was completely exposed to him. As he trailed wet kisses down to her clavicle, she fumbled with the buttons on his oxford. The desire to feel his skin on hers was making her delirious.
“Off!” she commanded breathlessly. “Take it off!”
The Doctor pulled back for the first time and stared into her eyes as he flicked open each button on his shirt. His tongue darted out and licked his lips as the fabric peeled back and landed in a soft heap behind him. Rose stared ravenously at his exposed torso, naked and heaving with desire for her. In another quick movement, he unbuckled his belt and left it undone as he ducked down and kissed the delicate skin of her ankle, dangling in front of the high counter.
Rose raised her eyebrows as he alternately kissed and nibbled his way up her leg, kneading into her muscles as he went. By the time he made it to her upper thigh, she was practically mad with pleasure. She whined as he skipped over the most needful part and went to pull her shirt off instead.
She beat him to the punch and stripped out of her bra for good measure. She smiled wickedly at him when for the first time, he stared dumbfounded at her body. His hands had apparently forgotten what they were supposed to be doing, so she grabbed them and pulled them up over her torso as she laid down on the counter, bringing his hands with her over the curves of her breasts.
The sound he made in response was exquisite, halfway between a moan and a cry of disbelief.
“Doctor,” Rose begged as she directed his hands back down over her flat stomach, then over the pink lace of her knickers.
That was the incentive that shocked him back to life, apparently, as he shook free of her guidance and yanked the obstructive panties out of his way. Rose didn’t know what hit her when his clever tongue dipped to the core of her body and swirled a hard circle around her clit.
“Oh my GOD!” she cried out as arched her back in ecstasy.
She could feel the Doctor smiling as he added one finger to the onslaught, pumping it slowly and gently inside of her. His free hand roamed over the curve of her thigh, gripping it as pulled her right leg up and away from his target. When he’d perfected the angle, Rose was left with no other recourse than to drop uselessly, writhing on the table. Her hand dug into the mop of his brown hair as he continued to suckle at her g-spot, never relenting, but always quickening the tempo, his tongue beating out a samba.
Finally, he pulled away from her for just a second, blowing a hot breath against her wet entrance as a second finger joined the first in a furtive, thrusting motion.
Rose cried out as the Doctor groaned, quietly commanding her to come for him. She wanted nothing more than to obey, and did as the erratic spasms shot out in all directions through her body.
She was still reeling with the pulsating pleasure of her orgasm when the Doctor picked her up and held her to him, walking them across the room. She stared down at him in a daze, slowly realizing that he was taking her to his bedroom, the spare one she’d given him.
“No,” she protested weakly as she pointed to her own room. “Take me to our bedroom.”
The Doctor stared at her like a miracle, but obeyed her instruction dutifully. He brought her to the darkened room and laid her down on the thick red satin sheets.
“My love,” he whispered as he dragged his fingers through her hair.
He stared down at her face, lit by the shafts of moonlight that filtered through the sheer curtains. She pulled him down to her lips and kissed him soundly. He sighed appreciatively as he sank down beside her, but she surprised him by pushing him over onto his back. Draped beside him, she continued to trail kisses down his throat while her free hand worked at the zip of his trousers.
She could feel him straining beneath the fabric, and gently stroked him over the top of the material as he whimpered for more. She smiled as she imagined driving him mad like this forever. It felt so good to give him pleasure that she wanted to prolong it. She slowly dipped her fingers inside the opening of his pants, and felt his hot skin there, hard and ready under her touch.
“Please,” he begged her. “Oh, Rose, please!”
She sat up and helped him out of the rest of his clothes before straddling him at the waist, and he wasted no time as he tried to push up against her wet heat. She restrained his wrists, however, and only allowed him brief moments of contact with her as she danced over him.
The Doctor growled in frustration as she circled over him one last time, and just as she’d hoped, he twisted around quickly and pinned her under his hips. She licked the top row of her teeth as she spread herself to him and let him slide in finally, to his immense satisfaction.
“Oh fuck!” he cried out as he sheathed himself completely.
Rose let out a pinched cry as she felt him enter her, coupled with the turn-on of hearing him swear for the first time. But when he began to move, it was her that was doing all the cussing. He started slowly, and tentatively, but it didn’t take long for him to find a rhythm that was perfect for both of them. He alternately between long, powerful strokes and shorter, faster thrusts. Rose clung to him as he rested his forehead on hers, and whispered her name as she squeezed him inside of her. She closed her eyes as his hands flew over her body, swept away with the certainty that after this, nothing would ever feel so good again. She could never be with another man, even if she wanted to. And if she ever touched herself in the future, it would be while she was thinking of this exact moment.
The Doctor strained suddenly against her as she gripped his backside and shuddered under the onslaught of her second orgasm. Her reaction triggered his own overwhelming release, forcing him to brace against the wall behind Rose’s head as he spilled into her.
He collapsed in a heap beside her, barely able to get the air necessary to remain conscious.
“Oh God,” Rose mumbled happily as she draped one arm over his chest.
The Doctor finally caught his breath and glanced back over at her, a lazy smile illuminating his face.
Rose’s eyes became serious as she gazed at him, and a hopeful expression took its place as he looked back at her curiously.
“Your heart beatin’ again?” she asked quietly.
The Doctor found her hand in the darkness and squeezed it with his own.
“Rose Tyler,” he whispered lovingly, “I’ve never felt more completely alive.”
Read the Prequel
Prompted for reallygoodcuffs Doctor Who kinkmeme after the following Anonymous prompt:
(Ten II/Rose) Ten II fucks the doubt that he's the Doctor right out of her.
Author's Note: you bet he does
“But you’re not him!” Rose snapped back as she threw her keys across the room.
They skidded across the counter before falling to the floor, and for the first time in three months, the Doctor didn’t bother to pick them back up. Instead, he stood glaring angrily at Rose’s back. Her arms were crossed in front of her chest, while she deigned a three-quarter turn in his direction.
“And you never will be,” she added meanly.
He crossed the room in three steps and had her pushed against the kitchen island before she could say another hateful word. Her folded arms, that had recently served to protect her, were now pinned neatly beneath her. The Doctor’s hot breath came in short pants against her ear as the rest of his body pressed against her.
“Say it again,” he warned. “Say it one more time.”
Rose gritted her teeth as she felt a tear gather up in her eye.
“You’re. Not. Him!” she shouted defiantly as she tried to escape his grasp.
The Doctor held her easily, but increased the pressure around her wrists to prove a point.
“I am him,” he said slowly, darkly, more deadly than she’d ever known. “I remember everything he’s done. I've experience the same emotions, the same desires. I WANT the same things.”
One of his hands released her and traced its path down her arm, until it met the curve of her hip.
Rose made a noise of protest, but he hushed her with a soft moan as he pressed himself into her backside. She froze underneath him before pushing back against him tentatively.
“I think you want the same things too,” he said softly, not masking his frustration. “Why do you play at resisting?”
Rose took advantage of his dropped guard and turned around quickly, only to be pinned by the wrists once more.
“I can’t betray him,” she answered solemnly. The fixed jut of her chin told the rest of the story.
The Doctor arched his eyebrows in pure shock.
“You think it’s cheating?” he asked openly. “Rose, you can’t cheat on me with myself.”
“Timey wimey!” Rose countered. “I can too!”
“No, you can’t!” the Doctor shot back irritatedly. “And what part of the most sanctimonious blessing of all time by ‘gifting my clone’ did you not catch? Did you want a written note of permission as well?”
Rose gaped in outrage.
“But that’s what you are, isn’t it?” she cried defiantly. “A clone? A copy? A shallow imitation of the man that risked everything and gained nothing for his efforts! He’s got nothing now, and no one! You think this is fair to him?”
“I AM HIM!” the Doctor screamed back violently. “What’s not fair is that the woman I love pretends I’m not because she’s so scared of opening up again! You look me in the eyes right now and hear this. I don’t care who you think I am, all I care about is that you know how much I love you. Outside of that, you’re right. I’m nothing. I subsist on the days your smile fills that void inside me that grows every time you don’t. I exist for you, Rose Tyler. So maybe you’re right, maybe I’m not the Doctor anymore. I’m pure expectation! I’m a heart waiting to beat!”
Rose was choking on her own words and stuttering something forgotten before it was even formulated. The Doctor was pressed against her so tightly she was gasping for air. His eyes had become liquid fire, melting the cold blood that had pumped through her veins since that day at Bad Wolf Bay. And finally, so necessarily, she broke.
“Doctor,” Rose whispered fiercely.
His tongue interrupted the second syllable when it entered her mouth roughly and tangled with her own. His hands roamed over the expanse of her back, her shoulders and her breasts, anyplace and every place he could touch. His hunger was insatiable, and stoked hers, long forgotten over the bitter years of endlessly searching for him.
His erection pushed insistently against her thin jeans as she leaned backwards on the counter, trying to wrap one leg around his waist. He realized quickly what a hindrance they were, and unceremoniously tugged them down before picking her up and dropping her on the counter before him. Rose pushed at his coat jacket as he strained to continue kissing every inch of her neck at the same time.
She gasped when he hit the spot just behind her ear and pulled achingly hard at her long blonde hair so that her neck was completely exposed to him. As he trailed wet kisses down to her clavicle, she fumbled with the buttons on his oxford. The desire to feel his skin on hers was making her delirious.
“Off!” she commanded breathlessly. “Take it off!”
The Doctor pulled back for the first time and stared into her eyes as he flicked open each button on his shirt. His tongue darted out and licked his lips as the fabric peeled back and landed in a soft heap behind him. Rose stared ravenously at his exposed torso, naked and heaving with desire for her. In another quick movement, he unbuckled his belt and left it undone as he ducked down and kissed the delicate skin of her ankle, dangling in front of the high counter.
Rose raised her eyebrows as he alternately kissed and nibbled his way up her leg, kneading into her muscles as he went. By the time he made it to her upper thigh, she was practically mad with pleasure. She whined as he skipped over the most needful part and went to pull her shirt off instead.
She beat him to the punch and stripped out of her bra for good measure. She smiled wickedly at him when for the first time, he stared dumbfounded at her body. His hands had apparently forgotten what they were supposed to be doing, so she grabbed them and pulled them up over her torso as she laid down on the counter, bringing his hands with her over the curves of her breasts.
The sound he made in response was exquisite, halfway between a moan and a cry of disbelief.
“Doctor,” Rose begged as she directed his hands back down over her flat stomach, then over the pink lace of her knickers.
That was the incentive that shocked him back to life, apparently, as he shook free of her guidance and yanked the obstructive panties out of his way. Rose didn’t know what hit her when his clever tongue dipped to the core of her body and swirled a hard circle around her clit.
“Oh my GOD!” she cried out as arched her back in ecstasy.
She could feel the Doctor smiling as he added one finger to the onslaught, pumping it slowly and gently inside of her. His free hand roamed over the curve of her thigh, gripping it as pulled her right leg up and away from his target. When he’d perfected the angle, Rose was left with no other recourse than to drop uselessly, writhing on the table. Her hand dug into the mop of his brown hair as he continued to suckle at her g-spot, never relenting, but always quickening the tempo, his tongue beating out a samba.
Finally, he pulled away from her for just a second, blowing a hot breath against her wet entrance as a second finger joined the first in a furtive, thrusting motion.
Rose cried out as the Doctor groaned, quietly commanding her to come for him. She wanted nothing more than to obey, and did as the erratic spasms shot out in all directions through her body.
She was still reeling with the pulsating pleasure of her orgasm when the Doctor picked her up and held her to him, walking them across the room. She stared down at him in a daze, slowly realizing that he was taking her to his bedroom, the spare one she’d given him.
“No,” she protested weakly as she pointed to her own room. “Take me to our bedroom.”
The Doctor stared at her like a miracle, but obeyed her instruction dutifully. He brought her to the darkened room and laid her down on the thick red satin sheets.
“My love,” he whispered as he dragged his fingers through her hair.
He stared down at her face, lit by the shafts of moonlight that filtered through the sheer curtains. She pulled him down to her lips and kissed him soundly. He sighed appreciatively as he sank down beside her, but she surprised him by pushing him over onto his back. Draped beside him, she continued to trail kisses down his throat while her free hand worked at the zip of his trousers.
She could feel him straining beneath the fabric, and gently stroked him over the top of the material as he whimpered for more. She smiled as she imagined driving him mad like this forever. It felt so good to give him pleasure that she wanted to prolong it. She slowly dipped her fingers inside the opening of his pants, and felt his hot skin there, hard and ready under her touch.
“Please,” he begged her. “Oh, Rose, please!”
She sat up and helped him out of the rest of his clothes before straddling him at the waist, and he wasted no time as he tried to push up against her wet heat. She restrained his wrists, however, and only allowed him brief moments of contact with her as she danced over him.
The Doctor growled in frustration as she circled over him one last time, and just as she’d hoped, he twisted around quickly and pinned her under his hips. She licked the top row of her teeth as she spread herself to him and let him slide in finally, to his immense satisfaction.
“Oh fuck!” he cried out as he sheathed himself completely.
Rose let out a pinched cry as she felt him enter her, coupled with the turn-on of hearing him swear for the first time. But when he began to move, it was her that was doing all the cussing. He started slowly, and tentatively, but it didn’t take long for him to find a rhythm that was perfect for both of them. He alternately between long, powerful strokes and shorter, faster thrusts. Rose clung to him as he rested his forehead on hers, and whispered her name as she squeezed him inside of her. She closed her eyes as his hands flew over her body, swept away with the certainty that after this, nothing would ever feel so good again. She could never be with another man, even if she wanted to. And if she ever touched herself in the future, it would be while she was thinking of this exact moment.
The Doctor strained suddenly against her as she gripped his backside and shuddered under the onslaught of her second orgasm. Her reaction triggered his own overwhelming release, forcing him to brace against the wall behind Rose’s head as he spilled into her.
He collapsed in a heap beside her, barely able to get the air necessary to remain conscious.
“Oh God,” Rose mumbled happily as she draped one arm over his chest.
The Doctor finally caught his breath and glanced back over at her, a lazy smile illuminating his face.
Rose’s eyes became serious as she gazed at him, and a hopeful expression took its place as he looked back at her curiously.
“Your heart beatin’ again?” she asked quietly.
The Doctor found her hand in the darkness and squeezed it with his own.
“Rose Tyler,” he whispered lovingly, “I’ve never felt more completely alive.”
Read the Prequel