Surface Tension by templemarker [X-Men First Class, Charles/Erik, R]

[templemarker]

Surface Tension
by templemarker

Notes: This story is a continuation of amazingly_me's wonderful response to this prompt on one of the XMFC kink memes: So Charles still gets shot and is crying in Erik's arms- but instead of leaving, Erik realizes that being vengeful will only ever hurt the man he loves. So he stays with Charles and confesses his ~feelings~ and

Comments

[itsthewa]

This was utterly lovely. There was so much wonderful writing and excellent characterization,but this in particular stunned me:

Charles lets out a harsh breath, closer to a sob, and says, "I don't know how many more times I can wake up and remember, as if in dreams I had forgotten all the--everything."

"Every day," Erik answers, a beat too quickly. "You will do it every day, the moment you wake, until it is a hard, fast thing in your chest. You'll learn to breathe around it, keep it tucked beneath your lungs, until the weight of it is so familiar you do not know how to live without the knowledge coming again, as you wake."

"I don't want that," Charles says wretchedly.

"I know," Erik says, because there is no other answer.

This is a perfect expression of what grief is, how it feels, whether the grief of someone you love having died, or being told you can never have children, or losing your ability to walk, etc. It's deep and cutting and always with you, and it's not that the pain gets better, it's that you become accustomed to

[templemarker]

Thank you so much for the wonderful feedback. I'm so pleased you liked it and that the part you quoted worked for you; I was really hoping it would be effective, and it's gratifying to know that it is.

Thank you.

[templemarker]

Thank you! I really appreciate hearing that. <3

[ebonlock]

God that was lovely....and heartbreaking too. How much would I love to pretend that your story was the way the movie really turned out. I'm planning to go see the movie again on Monday and I think afterward I'm going to come back and read this again and just pretend a little bit more :)

[templemarker]

Thank you so much! I'm so glad it worked for you.

[echo_fangirl]

*wibbles, then snuggles, then is happy*
Really lovely!

[templemarker]

Thank you!@

[lilacsigil]

I liked that Charles didn't have to be either totally fine or despairing; and Erik's cold comfort (which really is, in a bleak way, comforting). Watching them try to fit into each other's roles was heart-breaking but also hopeful. And yes, they can have something new. Lovely writing.

[templemarker]

Thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed it.