And My Spirit Is Crying For Leaving
Title: And My Spirit Is Crying For Leaving
Fandom: It's A Sin
Characters: Roscoe, Jill, Ritchie, Ash, Colin, Eileen. Mentions of Gloria
Rating: PG-13
Warning: Spoilers for all series, character deaths.
Pairing: Ritchie/Ash
Summary: Three friends, three funerals: Gloria, Colin, Ritchie. Roscoe wonders who will be there for him.
None of them had made it to Gloria’s funeral; his family hadn’t even let them know he’d died until Jill had tried contacting them again, quite a while after he’d moved back to Scotland. Roscoe had become angry with Jill when he’d first found out that she’d known for ages that Gloria had the virus and hadn’t told any of them; he’d since acknowledged that the person he was really angry with was himself for his reaction at finding out Gloria was moving away, how he had been more upset about what he had perceived as his abandonment by Gloria than Gloria’s actual health (although Gloria had tried to hide it from them, Roscoe feels he should have known); how he hadn’t even wanted to sign the Christmas card that he now knows Gloria never even received, having passed away before it could have got to Glasgow. In the end they’d held their own celebration for Gloria, just their closest friends telling stories of their friendships with him.
Roscoe, Ritchie and Ash had been pallbearers at Colin’s; they, Jill and a few of their other friends from London having been the only ones to show up, while the majority of his friends and family in Wales had chosen to stay away. It had been a rushed affair, held right at the end of the day, the vicar acting like he couldn’t get them out of there fast enough, hustling them to the spot at the edge of the graveyard as Eileen had whispered to Jill that it wasn’t right, that Colin should be with his father and grandparents. As Eileen had read the eulogy, Roscoe had heard the stories she told of his childhood and realised that even though he’d spent the last three years sharing a room with Colin, there were so many things he had never known about him, and would never get to know. They’d never talked about what they wanted from their funerals (why would they? They were all in their twenties; at the time, it had felt far enough away for it not to be an issue, and by the time it was clear that it was an issue for Colin, he wasn’t in a place where he could have had any involvement in planning his.) but Roscoe knows one thing for sure, this isolation is all wrong for Colin, who’d been so proud of his keys, so happy to have been accepted as part of their group of friends, so enthusiastic about everything.
When the Tozers had sent an order of service from Ritchie’s funeral after it had already taken place, Roscoe had been the one to suggest to Jill and Ash that they plan their own service for him, a celebration of his life, with the people who Ritchie would have actually wanted there. He’d stepped back so that Ash, as Ritchie’s partner, could be the one to make the official arrangements; at least this way, Ash’s part in Ritchie’s life would be respected as it should be. If they’d all gone to Valerie Tozer’s service, Roscoe knows full well Ash wouldn’t even have been acknowledged and there would have been another scene like the one at Peter’s funeral when his family had refused to acknowledge Nicholas; he knows this because he would have been the one who caused it by calling the old bitch out. Ash had felt that they should invite Ritchie’s family to the service; after the way Valerie had treated Jill, Roscoe wasn’t sure that was a good idea, but he knew Ash should have the final say, so had kept quiet, then was relieved (for Jill’s sake; part of him was disappointed for Ash) when the Tozers never even responded to the invitation. When Eileen Morris-Jones made the effort to make the (longer) journey from Wales, saying Colin would have wanted to be there if he could so she was attending on his behalf, this changed to anger at Ritchie’s family. Jill had managed to contact Martin, Ritchie’s best friend from school, and he had attended; as Martin and Roscoe had swapped Ritchie stories, Roscoe thought again of Colin’s service which so many people had boycotted and wondered what stories Colin’s schoolfriends would have told about him.
Roscoe finds himself now wondering who would attend his funeral now; so many of his friends, Gloria, Colin, Ritchie, all gone before him. He and his family are talking now; while it’s still very early days and there’s a lot they have to work through, they’ve already come a long way from the day he walked out on his family and told them to direct his mail to 23 Piss Off Avenue. He’s hoping that as he rebuilds his relationship with his family, he can introduce them to his friends, bring the parts of his life together, avoid a repeat of the situation with the Tozers at the end. He’d thought, the day he walked away from his family, that there was no turning back, but he’s got this second chance, where so many others hadn’t, and he’s going to use it.
Fandom: It's A Sin
Characters: Roscoe, Jill, Ritchie, Ash, Colin, Eileen. Mentions of Gloria
Rating: PG-13
Warning: Spoilers for all series, character deaths.
Pairing: Ritchie/Ash
Summary: Three friends, three funerals: Gloria, Colin, Ritchie. Roscoe wonders who will be there for him.
None of them had made it to Gloria’s funeral; his family hadn’t even let them know he’d died until Jill had tried contacting them again, quite a while after he’d moved back to Scotland. Roscoe had become angry with Jill when he’d first found out that she’d known for ages that Gloria had the virus and hadn’t told any of them; he’d since acknowledged that the person he was really angry with was himself for his reaction at finding out Gloria was moving away, how he had been more upset about what he had perceived as his abandonment by Gloria than Gloria’s actual health (although Gloria had tried to hide it from them, Roscoe feels he should have known); how he hadn’t even wanted to sign the Christmas card that he now knows Gloria never even received, having passed away before it could have got to Glasgow. In the end they’d held their own celebration for Gloria, just their closest friends telling stories of their friendships with him.
Roscoe, Ritchie and Ash had been pallbearers at Colin’s; they, Jill and a few of their other friends from London having been the only ones to show up, while the majority of his friends and family in Wales had chosen to stay away. It had been a rushed affair, held right at the end of the day, the vicar acting like he couldn’t get them out of there fast enough, hustling them to the spot at the edge of the graveyard as Eileen had whispered to Jill that it wasn’t right, that Colin should be with his father and grandparents. As Eileen had read the eulogy, Roscoe had heard the stories she told of his childhood and realised that even though he’d spent the last three years sharing a room with Colin, there were so many things he had never known about him, and would never get to know. They’d never talked about what they wanted from their funerals (why would they? They were all in their twenties; at the time, it had felt far enough away for it not to be an issue, and by the time it was clear that it was an issue for Colin, he wasn’t in a place where he could have had any involvement in planning his.) but Roscoe knows one thing for sure, this isolation is all wrong for Colin, who’d been so proud of his keys, so happy to have been accepted as part of their group of friends, so enthusiastic about everything.
When the Tozers had sent an order of service from Ritchie’s funeral after it had already taken place, Roscoe had been the one to suggest to Jill and Ash that they plan their own service for him, a celebration of his life, with the people who Ritchie would have actually wanted there. He’d stepped back so that Ash, as Ritchie’s partner, could be the one to make the official arrangements; at least this way, Ash’s part in Ritchie’s life would be respected as it should be. If they’d all gone to Valerie Tozer’s service, Roscoe knows full well Ash wouldn’t even have been acknowledged and there would have been another scene like the one at Peter’s funeral when his family had refused to acknowledge Nicholas; he knows this because he would have been the one who caused it by calling the old bitch out. Ash had felt that they should invite Ritchie’s family to the service; after the way Valerie had treated Jill, Roscoe wasn’t sure that was a good idea, but he knew Ash should have the final say, so had kept quiet, then was relieved (for Jill’s sake; part of him was disappointed for Ash) when the Tozers never even responded to the invitation. When Eileen Morris-Jones made the effort to make the (longer) journey from Wales, saying Colin would have wanted to be there if he could so she was attending on his behalf, this changed to anger at Ritchie’s family. Jill had managed to contact Martin, Ritchie’s best friend from school, and he had attended; as Martin and Roscoe had swapped Ritchie stories, Roscoe thought again of Colin’s service which so many people had boycotted and wondered what stories Colin’s schoolfriends would have told about him.
Roscoe finds himself now wondering who would attend his funeral now; so many of his friends, Gloria, Colin, Ritchie, all gone before him. He and his family are talking now; while it’s still very early days and there’s a lot they have to work through, they’ve already come a long way from the day he walked out on his family and told them to direct his mail to 23 Piss Off Avenue. He’s hoping that as he rebuilds his relationship with his family, he can introduce them to his friends, bring the parts of his life together, avoid a repeat of the situation with the Tozers at the end. He’d thought, the day he walked away from his family, that there was no turning back, but he’s got this second chance, where so many others hadn’t, and he’s going to use it.