Rising Star, Falling Star
Title: Rising Star, Falling Star
Fandom: Lost
Characters: Christian, Margo, Jack, Carole, Lindsey, Claire.
Pairings: References to Christian/Carole history.
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. They own me.
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: Up to and including Par Avion, plus slight reference to mobisode The Watch.
Summary: Written for lostfichallenge 80: light and dark. As the sun rises on Christian Shephard's American family, it sets on his Australian family. Set right after Carole and Lindsey told Christian to stay away, Christian and Carole reflect on what might have been.
A typical breakfast time in the Shephard household. Jack crams the last few bites of toast into his mouth, chattering about the pop quiz in chemistry that day and wondering if his best friend Marc Silverman will have forgotten about it as he usually does. Margo taps her fingernails against her coffee cup; Christian reads the sports pages (damn Sox lost again).
From outside comes the sound of a car horn; Marc has arrived to pick Jack up and give him a ride to school. Christian feels the familiar sense of dread as Jack slings his backpack over his shoulder and waves a cheery goodbye to his parents. Because Jack is gone, and Christian is now left alone with Margo.
Margo glances up from her morning cup of coffee and her magazine. "You're quiet this morning," she says, more out of making conversation than any real interest. "Is everything all right?"
Christian glances at his watch, curses under his breath as he realises it's still set to Australia time. It's night time over there, where his other child lives.
"Just jet lag," he lies.
Margo nods, uninterested, turns back to her magazine.For a brief moment, Christian wonders what she would have said if he had told her what was really on his mind.
He's still not sure it was the right decision to have walked away from Claire like that. But it hadn't been his decision, not really. Carole and Lindsey had been the ones who forced the issue, who'd said they weren't happy about the fact that Christian had another family. Really, the decision had been out of Christian's hands.
And he has to admit, sometimes he isn't sure why he does stay with Margo. His dad had always told him he'd made a bad choice, but Christian, determined to prove his father wrong, had married her anyway. It hadn't taken him long to realise his father had been right all along.
Christian wonders if one day he'll have the same arguments with Jack. Nothing like that's developed so far, but then the kid is only sixteen. There's still plenty of time for all that. If anything, Christian's sometimes wondered if Jack's trying too hard to please him.
He won't have the same arguments with Claire, not now. He won't know what Claire chooses to do with her life, won't get to walk her down the aisle, won't be part of any key moments as she grows up.
Oh, he knows that things could have been different had he taken the decision to end his marriage to Margo. But if he's honest with himself, he can't really imagine starting a future with Carole, either. Especially not with Lindsey around, that bitter and twisted woman who really should look at her own life before interfering in Carole's.
It had only ever been intended to be a fling, just something that had happened while Christian was away during a particularly bad patch with Margo. They'd had their fun, then Christian would have gone back to his family. Had Carole not called and told him she was pregnant, he doubted he'd ever have seen her again. They don't really have anything in common. Except Claire, that is. And now they don't even have her.
The decision's been made now, and Christian will have to live with it. But he's determined that Jack must never know the truth. He admits he's been hard on him over the years. But this - he just doesn't know how Jack would take it.
Claire's not here, Jack is. He'll concentrate on his relationship with Jack now.
But deep down, he wonders whether, if he'd played an active role in Claire's upbringing, he'd have treated her any differently.
Carole Littleton collapses into the easy chair with exhaustion. "She's finally asleep."
Lindsey yawns. "How many songs did you sing to her in the end?"
Carole shrugs. "I lost count." She doesn't tell Lindsey of the inexplicable resentment she felt when the only song that could get Claire off to sleep had been "Catch a Falling Star", the song HE used to sing to her.
Lindsey must have seen something in her face, for she says "It's for the best, Carole."
Carole fixes her with a stare. "Is it really, Linds?" She gestures towards Claire's crib. "Did I really do the right thing, choosing to deprive her of her father?"
"You chose to do no such thing," Lindsey snaps. "He's made his choice. He's not going to leave Margaret."
"Margo," Carole corrects, then feels annoyed with herself for having done so.
Lindsey waves this away with an impatient hand gesture. "Whatever. Look, it was the right thing to do. Would it really have been any better for Claire to have that man drifting in and out of her life when he feels like it, then going back to his perfect little family back home?"
Carole sighs. "Guess not."
The two women sit in silence for a while, watching Claire's slow, even breathing. She's sleeping peacefully now, for the first time in what feels like ages.
"Do you really think I can do it all on my own?" Carole asks at last.
"Course you can." Lindsey reassures her. "You'll be a great mother. And anyway, you won't be on your own. I'll always be around."
Carole reaches out and squeezes her older sister's hand gratefully. "Thanks, Linds."
"You don't need him in your life. You and Claire will be much better off without him."
Carole nods automatically. She's heard all this before from Lindsey. But she doesn't tell her sister that she sometimes still thinks about Christian, catches herself looking at her watch and wondering what time it is in America, wondering what he's doing now.
It must be first thing in the morning over there now, she thinks. Christian and his family are probably all rushing around getting ready for work and school. Or maybe Christian's even coming in from a night shift. You never could tell with doctors.
She looks down again at Claire sleeping peacefully in her crib. The sight clears her mind and strengthens her resolve. She mustn't think of Christian any more, or what might have been. It's time to look to the future. Tomorrow morning, the new dawn would be the first morning of the rest of Carole's life, of new hope for the future.
A future that doesn't include Christian.
Fandom: Lost
Characters: Christian, Margo, Jack, Carole, Lindsey, Claire.
Pairings: References to Christian/Carole history.
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. They own me.
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: Up to and including Par Avion, plus slight reference to mobisode The Watch.
Summary: Written for lostfichallenge 80: light and dark. As the sun rises on Christian Shephard's American family, it sets on his Australian family. Set right after Carole and Lindsey told Christian to stay away, Christian and Carole reflect on what might have been.
A typical breakfast time in the Shephard household. Jack crams the last few bites of toast into his mouth, chattering about the pop quiz in chemistry that day and wondering if his best friend Marc Silverman will have forgotten about it as he usually does. Margo taps her fingernails against her coffee cup; Christian reads the sports pages (damn Sox lost again).
From outside comes the sound of a car horn; Marc has arrived to pick Jack up and give him a ride to school. Christian feels the familiar sense of dread as Jack slings his backpack over his shoulder and waves a cheery goodbye to his parents. Because Jack is gone, and Christian is now left alone with Margo.
Margo glances up from her morning cup of coffee and her magazine. "You're quiet this morning," she says, more out of making conversation than any real interest. "Is everything all right?"
Christian glances at his watch, curses under his breath as he realises it's still set to Australia time. It's night time over there, where his other child lives.
"Just jet lag," he lies.
Margo nods, uninterested, turns back to her magazine.For a brief moment, Christian wonders what she would have said if he had told her what was really on his mind.
He's still not sure it was the right decision to have walked away from Claire like that. But it hadn't been his decision, not really. Carole and Lindsey had been the ones who forced the issue, who'd said they weren't happy about the fact that Christian had another family. Really, the decision had been out of Christian's hands.
And he has to admit, sometimes he isn't sure why he does stay with Margo. His dad had always told him he'd made a bad choice, but Christian, determined to prove his father wrong, had married her anyway. It hadn't taken him long to realise his father had been right all along.
Christian wonders if one day he'll have the same arguments with Jack. Nothing like that's developed so far, but then the kid is only sixteen. There's still plenty of time for all that. If anything, Christian's sometimes wondered if Jack's trying too hard to please him.
He won't have the same arguments with Claire, not now. He won't know what Claire chooses to do with her life, won't get to walk her down the aisle, won't be part of any key moments as she grows up.
Oh, he knows that things could have been different had he taken the decision to end his marriage to Margo. But if he's honest with himself, he can't really imagine starting a future with Carole, either. Especially not with Lindsey around, that bitter and twisted woman who really should look at her own life before interfering in Carole's.
It had only ever been intended to be a fling, just something that had happened while Christian was away during a particularly bad patch with Margo. They'd had their fun, then Christian would have gone back to his family. Had Carole not called and told him she was pregnant, he doubted he'd ever have seen her again. They don't really have anything in common. Except Claire, that is. And now they don't even have her.
The decision's been made now, and Christian will have to live with it. But he's determined that Jack must never know the truth. He admits he's been hard on him over the years. But this - he just doesn't know how Jack would take it.
Claire's not here, Jack is. He'll concentrate on his relationship with Jack now.
But deep down, he wonders whether, if he'd played an active role in Claire's upbringing, he'd have treated her any differently.
Carole Littleton collapses into the easy chair with exhaustion. "She's finally asleep."
Lindsey yawns. "How many songs did you sing to her in the end?"
Carole shrugs. "I lost count." She doesn't tell Lindsey of the inexplicable resentment she felt when the only song that could get Claire off to sleep had been "Catch a Falling Star", the song HE used to sing to her.
Lindsey must have seen something in her face, for she says "It's for the best, Carole."
Carole fixes her with a stare. "Is it really, Linds?" She gestures towards Claire's crib. "Did I really do the right thing, choosing to deprive her of her father?"
"You chose to do no such thing," Lindsey snaps. "He's made his choice. He's not going to leave Margaret."
"Margo," Carole corrects, then feels annoyed with herself for having done so.
Lindsey waves this away with an impatient hand gesture. "Whatever. Look, it was the right thing to do. Would it really have been any better for Claire to have that man drifting in and out of her life when he feels like it, then going back to his perfect little family back home?"
Carole sighs. "Guess not."
The two women sit in silence for a while, watching Claire's slow, even breathing. She's sleeping peacefully now, for the first time in what feels like ages.
"Do you really think I can do it all on my own?" Carole asks at last.
"Course you can." Lindsey reassures her. "You'll be a great mother. And anyway, you won't be on your own. I'll always be around."
Carole reaches out and squeezes her older sister's hand gratefully. "Thanks, Linds."
"You don't need him in your life. You and Claire will be much better off without him."
Carole nods automatically. She's heard all this before from Lindsey. But she doesn't tell her sister that she sometimes still thinks about Christian, catches herself looking at her watch and wondering what time it is in America, wondering what he's doing now.
It must be first thing in the morning over there now, she thinks. Christian and his family are probably all rushing around getting ready for work and school. Or maybe Christian's even coming in from a night shift. You never could tell with doctors.
She looks down again at Claire sleeping peacefully in her crib. The sight clears her mind and strengthens her resolve. She mustn't think of Christian any more, or what might have been. It's time to look to the future. Tomorrow morning, the new dawn would be the first morning of the rest of Carole's life, of new hope for the future.
A future that doesn't include Christian.