fanfic: Convergence
Title: Convergence
Rated: PG-13
About: Connor, Abby and the Cretaceous - what could possibly happen?
Part: Complete
Characters/Pairing: Connor/Abby
Disclaimer: Primeval and its characters belong to Impossible Pictures. No copyright infringement is intended.
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Connor Temple loved Abigail Maitland. There was no doubt about that. From those first moments of jaw dropping enchantment in the Forest of Dean, his feelings had grown from attraction to infatuation to love. When he blackmailed his way into her flat, it was with the self-confidence of the eternal optimist. He knew he didn't stand a chance, but to be near her was good enough.
He knew in his heart that she would never be his, could never return his feelings, could never fancy a pal. He would be her best friend and if that was all he could ever be, that was fine with him. He loved to watch her moods, her behaviours, the deep passion and love she reserved for her pets, her protectiveness of the creatures that came through the anomalies. He sometimes dreamt of being a snake just so she would lavish some attention on him and rub up and down his scales - nothing Freudian about that! That he took a little longer in the shower after those dreams didn't seem to be noticed.
When Caroline picked him up in the movie shop he leapt at the opportunity offered. She had flattered his ego and he enjoyed it - Abby never flattered him. Caroline was settling for second best, he knew that. But he also knew he would never get more than friendly hugs and the occasional peck on the cheek from Abby. If Caroline could give him affection, kisses and maybe even sex he would take what was offered - he had his needs too. She could never supplant his devotion to Abby, but she shared his passion for sci-fi and horror movies so at least they had things in common. And she was hot and obviously into him.
When he lost Abby his world fell apart. Caroline was forgotten as all he thought about was the beautiful blonde who had been snatched from his life. Everything he did from the second she disappeared off the boat was out of love for her. He'd argued with her and he hadn't protected her, but he loved her. He wouldn't give up searching and begged the others to not give up because he loved her. He sat in the flat that exuded her presence and wept because he loved her. He went to help Cutter because he loved her. He wanted to stop it happening to anyone else because he loved her. He dashed off into the unknown and leapt through an anomaly infested with huge, fanged Mer-creatures not knowing if he would make it back because he loved her. As she dangled from the cliff he knew that, if she died he would die too because he loved her.
He knew that she'd only begged him to let her go because she knew she was going to die and didn't want to be responsible for him too. He knew that she clung to him from the moment he pulled her to safety until they passed back through the anomaly because she was in shock. She didn't want him and told the kid, Lucien, so when he called him her boyfriend. So when she asked him to repeat what he had said to her on the cliff, he knew she didn't really want him to say "I love you" so he blustered and pretended he couldn't remember to spare her feelings. He made a hasty escape with Caroline because sitting in a darkened theatre would hide his sorrow and the tears that stained his cheeks.
After Stephen and then Cutter died, they clung to each other more, but always in a platonic way because that was easier to handle. Connor had lost what faith he had in his abilities with women after Caroline's betrayal. He kept emotional distance between them - no more flirting because she'd made it clear that was unwelcome. They'd snuggle up on the sofa for pizza and movie night, and she'd hug him and peck him on the cheek, but never anything more. It was no surprise when a strange bloke showed up wet and naked in her flat. It tore his heart out and churned his stomach, but it wasn't unexpected. Nor was being asked to move out while her baby brother stayed. He always gave her everything he could so of course she assumed that he would just pack up and go. Why she assumed he had a mate to stay with when he spent all his time with her was beyond him, but then Abby never really thought about what Connor needed. It obviously wasn't important to her.
Being stuck in the Cretaceous changed everything. The constant unending vigilance and terror. It was impossible to be alone because it was just too dangerous. Even collecting water was a two man job. There was no privacy, not even when performing the most basic functions.
After a couple of months they were beginning to settle into their new life. They had managed to construct a shelter in the middle of a bramble thicket. The combination of the thickly twisted and barbed stems with the smoke from the constant fire that burned in the centre kept predators at a distance. It was one place where they could drop their vigilance, but never fully relax. They could still not afford privacy, even here, and the need for survival, to keep warm, meant they had to stay close. The terror was ever-present.
Tempers were beginning to wear thin and patience was in short supply. It wasn't just the constant struggle for survival, but also the fear of the unknown - the unanswered questions. Had Danny managed to stop Helen and save humanity, had he survived and if so, where (and when) was he, were people looking for them, would they get back to their own time, did they even exist and have a home to go to or had they changed something? It all added to the strain. That and the unrelenting boredom.
The tasks for day to day survival demanded constant vigilance, but were tedious in the extreme. To go from a modern world full of constant distractions to pure nature was a culture shock. To relieve some of the tedium, Abby had started studying the flora and fauna, making notes and diagrams in a notebook she had found in one of the rucksacks. At night she had started teaching herself crafts - repairing their clothes, preserving food, carving utensils out of dinosaur bone, making baskets and patching their shelter using leaves and vines. Connor was, as always, building gadgets. He had built an anomaly detector out of bits of metal from the rucksacks - cans, house keys and a fork. He created rudimentary weapons for hunting, using the fire to temper and harden points for added effectiveness. As flint was unavailable, he used bone and tried to find alternative forms of rock for napping into scrappers, arrow heads and blades. He collected pebbles for a sling shot, and was experimenting with anything he could find to try to create a rudimentary power source in the hope of recharging the anomaly device.
One evening they were sat by the fire. Connor was working on a spear. Abby was weaving a basket. Both were trying to ignore the screams of creatures being hunted, torn apart and devoured outside their walls. Trying to blank out the constant cries and wails that filled the air in a terrifying cacophony.
"Abs, do you think it might be possible for me to have some alone time tomorrow?" Connor didn't look up but remained resolutely focussed on his work.
"What do you mean 'alone time'? What do you need it for?" Abby snapped, setting her basket work aside as she looked at him, puzzled by his request.
"Oh, I just, well ya'know, we've been here for seventy-one days and we've been with each other twenty-four seven and I just thought that you must be getting bored with me ugly mug by now. I just thought you might appreciate some alone time. Ya'know, just fifteen minutes or so to maybe ... relieve the tension." He continued to focus on his spear.
"What tension?" She had to admit the idea of having at least a few minutes alone was appealing. There were some things she wanted to do and it had been a while and … oh … 'alone time'. Well she had to admit it had been a while and her sexual frustration was becoming somewhat difficult to contain. Not to mention her desire to jump into Connor's arms every time one of those piercing screams came particularly close to their camp. The adorable idiot. This could be fun and might help offer her some relief without her having to show weakness.
Trying really hard to avoid smirking Abby picked up her basket work and began weaving again before she replied "I don't think being alone is a good idea given the circumstances. But Connor, if you need a wank just go ahead. Don't mind me. It's not like I haven't heard you before."
Connor nearly died. His face went crimson, he spluttered and his hands clenched and unclenched. "You've heard me? When?"
"In the shower. Those really long showers you used to have after those dreams of yours."
Connor really didn't know where to put himself. He hadn't realised that she'd understand what he was asking for quite so quickly, and he certainly didn't expect her to suggest he just do it right in front of her. Let alone that she'd heard him ... before!
"Forget it. I wasn't asking for that reason, but never mind. It's not important."
They went back to working on their respective projects. Abby smirked, Connor cast furtive glances in her direction, but neither looked at each other.
Connor knew that he wasn't Abby's type. That she would never have feelings for him the way he still felt about her. He was Xander to her Buffy, Jockster to her Xena, R2D2 to her Leia (no, don't think about Leia!). At least she'd said he could move back into the flat when they got home … IF.
She had fancied Stephen, and now Becker or even Danny were so much more in her league. She seemed to like big, strong, brooding action men. She probably regretted that it was him and not Danny that she was stuck with. These dark thoughts enveloped his mind while he kept working.
Some time later, Connor finished the spear. He looked at Abby, bit his lip and then steeled himself. It was now or never. He could die tomorrow and he had to know. "Abby, what do you think of me?"
"What do you mean, what do I think of you? You're my best friend, what else do you want me to think?"
"I mean as a man, what do you think? I mean as the last, well first man on Earth. Do you even think of me as a man at all?"
"What kind of question is that? Of course I do? Why wouldn't I think you're a man?"
"It's just, you know how I feel about you … how I've always felt about you, and even now you keep me at a distance. I'm terrified all the time and I know you are too and to be honest all I want is some human affection. I know I'm not attractive to you and I never will be. I know you'd much rather have been stuck here with Becker, or Danny, or just about anyone other than me." His shoulders were slumped in resignation. "Look, we don't know how long we're gonna be stuck here. I just thought that you might appreciate ... well, let's just say that what happens in the Cretaceous can stay in the Cretaceous." He looked at her with a combination of hope and embarrassment.
This time she couldn't contain her grin. "Connor Temple are you offering to be my sex slave?" This was priceless and to be honest, was exactly what she wanted. A way of finally acting on her feelings for him without having to let him know.
Connor's jaw tightened and a look of panic spread across his face. This was not quite what he meant, but what the hell he could work with it. With what bravado he could muster he gave a jerky nod and said "Yeah, why not."
"Oh, this is going to be wonderful." She licked her lips, pondering the proposal before her. "So, obviously, we can't actually have full intercourse except for a few days each month." She was now on all fours, crawling across the shelter towards him, slowly, like a cat stalking prey. "But there's lots of other ways you can pleasure me. Do you think you're man enough for that?" Her tone was sultry and very slightly mocking.
Connor rose to the challenge "I know I am, the question is, do you?"
"There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that you are more than man enough for this challenge!" she purred.
She wasn't the only one purring. Connor couldn't believe what he had just heard. She had just complemented him. More to point the she'd just complemented him on his sexual prowess. Bloody hell, he must be dreaming!
By now she had crawled over to him and was almost sitting in his lap, when she suddenly sat back on her heels and put her hands on her thighs, a look of confusion on her face.
"What do you mean you're not attractive? And I'd rather be stuck here with Becker or Danny? Why do you think I wouldn't want to be with you?"
"Because you don't want me. You never have." Connor's matter-of-fact tone shocked her.
"Even after I told you how I felt about you, you still didn't want me. I figured it would be best for my sanity to just stay your friend and stop flirting with you. That kiss, after we rescued Jack, was the best moment of my life. I really hoped you'd changed your mind 'bout us, but then you came to Lester's flat and I realised you were happy I was out of your hair. If we hadn't have got stuck here I'd be looking for my own place right now - can't stay with Lester much longer." Connor was no longer looking at her. His eyes had dropped and he was fiddling with the remains of one of his gloves, a sad half smile on his lips.
"You're beautiful, smart, passionate and wonderful, and I will always love you. But to you I'm just your ... your sidekick." The pain in his voice sent a stab of sorrow to her heart.
"You threw me out without even checking about me concussion or whether I actually had somewhere to go. Hell you didn't even offer me a lift! Just as well really or you'd have realised I was crashing at the ARC. So yeah, I'll be your sex slave while we're here 'cos it'll give both of us something we want, and WHEN we get home I'll at least have some fond memories of my time with Abigail Maitland." He finished his speech with his head held high, looking her in the eye, his chin stuck out angry and defiant.
Abby had sat through this onslaught, physically unmoving, but emotionally flinching.
Realisation hit her like a sledgehammer. She had been a 100% cast iron BITCH!
She claimed Connor as her best friend and yet she hadn't spared a thought for him. She knew she had issues with men, and she knew that Connor had managed to circumvent all of them. He so wasn't her normal type, but her normal type were pretty, self-absorbed bastards who used her, spared no thought for her needs, treated her badly and dumped her without a backwards glance. And she'd done exactly the same thing to Connor.
And yet he'd stayed, and kept coming back for more. He never had a bad word for her, and what she wanted was always his first thought. He put up with her moods and just went with it when she vented her anger and frustrations on him. He had put himself between her and danger more times than she could count and would gladly sacrifice himself if it kept her safe. He'd even helped her selfish arse of a brother to recover Rex and kept it quiet to spare her feelings. And still she kept pushing him away.
Now he was offering himself to her in the most intimate way, believing that she had no feelings for him, but doing it anyway so that she would feel better. Yep, she had been a 100% cast iron bitch and that so wasn't who she really was. How the hell was she going to put this right?
"Connor, I'm so sorry. I can't use you like that." Connor's face fell. He was crushed. His one and only chance to make love to Abby Maitland had gone. She must really despise him to turn down the offer of no-strings-attached sex with the only man in existence - who may ever exist. He turned away in abject misery and bit back the sob that threatened to burst from his throat.
Abby reached forward, caught Connor's cheeks in her hands and gently turned his face to her. He was looking down, unable to meet her eye. Dejection was written large across his face.
"Connor Temple, you are the most wonderful, kind, adorable man I know. There is not a bad or selfish bone in your body. I know that you would do anything for me and I've used that to my advantage to keep you away to protect myself. That was so unfair of me."
Connor's eyes flicked up and stared into hers. Hope began to burn in his heart.
"I have a lot of issues with men and one day, I may pluck up the courage to tell you about them. And you're right, you are so not my usual type. They were all pretty, selfish bastards. You are my beautiful guardian angel. You've cherished and protected me since we first met and I can never thank you enough for that. I've treated you so badly and I've let my own fears rule our relationship. I've wasted so much time with you and hurt you so often when I should've been holding you and making you feel loved. Because I do love you Connor Temple. I realise I've been wrong all these years - beautiful angel is so my type."
Connor's expression had changed from disbelief to surprise to happiness to joy. Now he was beaming. He wanted to grab her and hold her tight and never let her go, but was afraid to try.
"Connor you may be the last man on Earth but this is not why I am saying this. I don't want you as my sex slave, but if you want a love partner then I'm your girl. What do you think?"
Connor could barely control his joy. If jumping around like a mad loon and screaming "woohoo" at the top of his voice hadn't been extremely likely to get him eaten he'd have been doing that right now.
Instead he settled for taking Abby's hands in his own and asking "Are you sure? You're not just saying that?"
She could understand his uncertainty after the way she'd behaved. She didn't blame him. It did seem rather an abrupt change of heart, but she knew it wasn't sudden at all. If she hadn't been such a coward she would've never denied him to Lucien and she would have pressed him to repeat his words from the cliff face before planting hot kisses all over him. She would never have thrown him out without a second thought to avoid embarrassing questions from Jack. Hell, if she hadn't been such a coward she'd have taken him into her bed there and then and left Jack to fend for himself.
She'd loved Connor Temple for the longest time but she'd just been too frightened to show him in anything other than little ways. Love had crept up on her slowly, but he had become the glow that warmed her frigid heart and made her feel things she'd never allowed herself to feel before. It was only because of the continuous terror they now lived in that her carefully constructed emotional walls had finally come tumbling down letting him in. The fear of being loved by and loving Connor was nothing to the terror of losing him or the constant terror of the world they now inhabited.
Abby flinched and stared with wild eyes as the pitiful screams of another creature being torn apart suddenly rang through their shelter. Instinctively Connor wrapped her in his arms, holding her tight and kissing her hair. "Quiet, I've got you. We're safe." he whispered.
Abby snuggled closer to him, grateful for the comfort so freely offered.
"Connor, do you trust me enough to give us a chance?"
"Of course I trust you Abby, with my life."
"But do you trust me with your heart?"
"Do you trust me?"
"Yes completely. I know that you would never deliberately hurt me. So answer my question. Do you trust me with your heart? I wouldn't blame you if you didn't the way I've treated you."
"Abigail Sarah Maitland, I can truthfully say that there is no-one else in this world I would trust my heart to."
"That's not saying much as we're the only two people here" she pouted.
Connor hugged her close and gently stroked her back as a smile played on his lips.
"Abby, you're the only woman for me, ever. Get used to it."
THE END …. well not quite
"Connor, this whole 'alone time' thing. Can I watch you first or do you want to watch me?"
Connor moaned.
THE END