The UHF Canon
Yesterday when talking about a sequel to The Dark Crystal, it became clear that among the folks beloved to me (aka my flist), there are some shocking, shocking holes in the UHF Canon. I refer to those movies (mostly sci-fi and fantasy) that were shown in the olden days on the marginal UHF stations, or would have been shown there if they hadn't morphed into marginal Fox and WB and UPN stations.
Not Star Wars. Not LotR. Not Aliens. Those other ones. I'm not necessarily talking good movies here, or popular movies. In fact in many cases I'm pretty definitely talking about bad, unpopular movies.
But...it's just that if you have missed them, then there is cultural vocabulary we don't share. Hopelessly geeky in-jokes you won't understand. I'm not trying to sound judgemental here, but if you're missed more than a few of these, you're going to hell. Straight to hell! And no one wants that. So see them. Netflix, TiVo, borrow them from me, something.
The following list is not at all comprehensive, people may feel free to object to some or suggest additions. They are also in no particular order, certainly not either quality or priority. So, in addition to The Dark Crystal itself:
1. Battle Beyond the Stars. Roger Corman rips of Star Wars, The Magnificent 7, and anything else he can get his hands on. Screenplay by John Sayles (!)
2. The Last Starfighter. Groundbreaking CGI for its time. One of the all time great geek power fantasy movies, answering the question "If you were very, very, very good at video games, could you save the universe for really real?"
3. The John Carpenter Triumverate: They Live, Big Trouble In Little China, and The Thing. John Carpenter has made a lot of good genre movies, but I feel these are his three best (yeah yeah, Escape from New York too, but I never liked it as much).
They Live is a funny, politically sharp sci-fi satire, managing to indict mindless 80's consumerism one moment, and treating us to possibly the longest, funniest, most pointless fight in the history of cinema. Sunglasses would not achieve such prominence in sci-fi film again until The Matrix rolled around.
Big Trouble in Little China was probably the first decent Western stab at a Hong Kong style action fantasy movie. Jack Burton is Kurt Russell's greatest role, to the extent that he sucessfully simultaniously channelled John Wayne and Daffy Duck.
The Thing is somewhat of a rarity on this list in that it's actually a conventionally good movie. Creepy body-snatching style paranoia, a top 5 "People trapped in a locked box with monsters" film.
4. Legend. Dewy young Tom Cruise, Pre-Scientology and nose job. Mia Sara in an outfit that probably had a major formative effect on me, in retrospect. Tim Curry as a lovesick...demon....satan...guy. Plus unicorns! Not horses with comically wobbly horns glued on! Magical!
5. Flash Gordon. Okay, look, this one is just not negotiable. Don't like horror? Fine, skip The Thing, it's okay. But the 1980 Dino Di Laurentis Flash Gordon? No. I own it on DVD, and if you haven't seen it we're getting together and we're seeing it. It's the shiniest, most awesomely goofy thing ever. Brian Blessed and his mouth are in it, yet he's possibly like, only the 3rd or 4th campiest, hammiest thing happening. That's how amazing this movie is.
Also:
ETA: eclecticavatar brings up Tron, which is definitely critical and should be included. head58, seconded by jeregenest brings up Time Bandits. Of course, much like John Carpenter, practically Terry Gilliam's entire filmmaking career counts. And unappropriate observes that if one is speaking of the "UHF canon", a little shoutout to the Not-Quite-Actually-UHF Canon-But-It-Stars-Weird-Al-Yankovich-And-That's-Worth-Something film UHF would be in order.
Plus various people nominated:
Labyrinth, Buckaroo Banzai, Excalibur, The Five Deadly Venoms, The Hidden, The Black Hole. Also also: Beastmaster, Red Sonja, Remo Williams, Krull, Dragonslayer, Ladyhawke, Clash of the Titans, Warlock, Superman 2 (on the strength of "Kneel before Zod" and the presence of Sarah Douglas), Conan and Conan the Destroyer (Wilt Chamberlain and Grace Jones in one movie?), and Mad Max (Still fairly obscure despite the more cartoonish movies that followed, and featuring the awesome Australian accent obliterating overdub), and The Last Dragon.
ETA 2: Good lord, who knew this of all things would garner so many responses. People really do understand how important it is to avoid hell.
Not Star Wars. Not LotR. Not Aliens. Those other ones. I'm not necessarily talking good movies here, or popular movies. In fact in many cases I'm pretty definitely talking about bad, unpopular movies.
But...it's just that if you have missed them, then there is cultural vocabulary we don't share. Hopelessly geeky in-jokes you won't understand. I'm not trying to sound judgemental here, but if you're missed more than a few of these, you're going to hell. Straight to hell! And no one wants that. So see them. Netflix, TiVo, borrow them from me, something.
The following list is not at all comprehensive, people may feel free to object to some or suggest additions. They are also in no particular order, certainly not either quality or priority. So, in addition to The Dark Crystal itself:
1. Battle Beyond the Stars. Roger Corman rips of Star Wars, The Magnificent 7, and anything else he can get his hands on. Screenplay by John Sayles (!)
2. The Last Starfighter. Groundbreaking CGI for its time. One of the all time great geek power fantasy movies, answering the question "If you were very, very, very good at video games, could you save the universe for really real?"
3. The John Carpenter Triumverate: They Live, Big Trouble In Little China, and The Thing. John Carpenter has made a lot of good genre movies, but I feel these are his three best (yeah yeah, Escape from New York too, but I never liked it as much).
They Live is a funny, politically sharp sci-fi satire, managing to indict mindless 80's consumerism one moment, and treating us to possibly the longest, funniest, most pointless fight in the history of cinema. Sunglasses would not achieve such prominence in sci-fi film again until The Matrix rolled around.
Big Trouble in Little China was probably the first decent Western stab at a Hong Kong style action fantasy movie. Jack Burton is Kurt Russell's greatest role, to the extent that he sucessfully simultaniously channelled John Wayne and Daffy Duck.
The Thing is somewhat of a rarity on this list in that it's actually a conventionally good movie. Creepy body-snatching style paranoia, a top 5 "People trapped in a locked box with monsters" film.
4. Legend. Dewy young Tom Cruise, Pre-Scientology and nose job. Mia Sara in an outfit that probably had a major formative effect on me, in retrospect. Tim Curry as a lovesick...demon....satan...guy. Plus unicorns! Not horses with comically wobbly horns glued on! Magical!
5. Flash Gordon. Okay, look, this one is just not negotiable. Don't like horror? Fine, skip The Thing, it's okay. But the 1980 Dino Di Laurentis Flash Gordon? No. I own it on DVD, and if you haven't seen it we're getting together and we're seeing it. It's the shiniest, most awesomely goofy thing ever. Brian Blessed and his mouth are in it, yet he's possibly like, only the 3rd or 4th campiest, hammiest thing happening. That's how amazing this movie is.
Also:
ETA: eclecticavatar brings up Tron, which is definitely critical and should be included. head58, seconded by jeregenest brings up Time Bandits. Of course, much like John Carpenter, practically Terry Gilliam's entire filmmaking career counts. And unappropriate observes that if one is speaking of the "UHF canon", a little shoutout to the Not-Quite-Actually-UHF Canon-But-It-Stars-Weird-Al-Yankovich-And-That's-Worth-Something film UHF would be in order.
Plus various people nominated:
Labyrinth, Buckaroo Banzai, Excalibur, The Five Deadly Venoms, The Hidden, The Black Hole. Also also: Beastmaster, Red Sonja, Remo Williams, Krull, Dragonslayer, Ladyhawke, Clash of the Titans, Warlock, Superman 2 (on the strength of "Kneel before Zod" and the presence of Sarah Douglas), Conan and Conan the Destroyer (Wilt Chamberlain and Grace Jones in one movie?), and Mad Max (Still fairly obscure despite the more cartoonish movies that followed, and featuring the awesome Australian accent obliterating overdub), and The Last Dragon.
ETA 2: Good lord, who knew this of all things would garner so many responses. People really do understand how important it is to avoid hell.