On My Mind (Fic for doc-suresh)
OOC: Pre-verse timeframe. Matt dealing with his issues.
A murmured phrase of soft Hindu brushed his mind, making him shiver. It was getting increasingly difficult for him to keep Mohinder out of his head. Maybe because he just couldn’t stop thinking about him. Matt scowled. This was getting impossible. Mohinder was his friend, yeah, and his roommate. He damn well didn’t have a right to invade his every thought like this. He pushed back the nagging little voice that was telling him that Mohinder wasn’t actually doing anything. It sure as hell wasn’t him.
Shit, he was even having dreams about the man. Dreams that made him really, really uncomfortable, even though he only had hazy memories of them when he woke up. Just… that mesmerizing smile, and soft hands sliding down his chest… Matt shuddered, mentally shoving that back where it belonged, in a dark, locked, and reinforced part of his brain. The whole thing was just wrong. He wasn’t gay. He liked women. Why was Mohinder doing this to him? How?
And why did he just want to feel those hands on him for real? To just say ‘to hell with it’ and give in to these insane urges?
“Matthew? Are you all right?”
He looked up into Mohinder’s eyes, his breath catching in his throat. The man was… beautiful. In a way that men definitely shouldn’t be. It took him a long moment to make his voice work. “Fine. I’m fine.”
“You don’t look it.” And then Mohinder’s hand was on his face, gently cupping his cheek, forcing him to meet his eyes once more.
Matt whimpered before he could stop himself, wrenching away from that so soft touch. He couldn’t. He just couldn’t. He stood abruptly and rushed from the room, heading… anywhere but there. The door of the apartment slammed shut behind him, leaving Mohinder staring in hurt confusion.
A murmured phrase of soft Hindu brushed his mind, making him shiver. It was getting increasingly difficult for him to keep Mohinder out of his head. Maybe because he just couldn’t stop thinking about him. Matt scowled. This was getting impossible. Mohinder was his friend, yeah, and his roommate. He damn well didn’t have a right to invade his every thought like this. He pushed back the nagging little voice that was telling him that Mohinder wasn’t actually doing anything. It sure as hell wasn’t him.
Shit, he was even having dreams about the man. Dreams that made him really, really uncomfortable, even though he only had hazy memories of them when he woke up. Just… that mesmerizing smile, and soft hands sliding down his chest… Matt shuddered, mentally shoving that back where it belonged, in a dark, locked, and reinforced part of his brain. The whole thing was just wrong. He wasn’t gay. He liked women. Why was Mohinder doing this to him? How?
And why did he just want to feel those hands on him for real? To just say ‘to hell with it’ and give in to these insane urges?
“Matthew? Are you all right?”
He looked up into Mohinder’s eyes, his breath catching in his throat. The man was… beautiful. In a way that men definitely shouldn’t be. It took him a long moment to make his voice work. “Fine. I’m fine.”
“You don’t look it.” And then Mohinder’s hand was on his face, gently cupping his cheek, forcing him to meet his eyes once more.
Matt whimpered before he could stop himself, wrenching away from that so soft touch. He couldn’t. He just couldn’t. He stood abruptly and rushed from the room, heading… anywhere but there. The door of the apartment slammed shut behind him, leaving Mohinder staring in hurt confusion.