The Same But Not Quite [Simon, Rose, Ten] PG
Title: The Same But Not Quite
Fandom: Doctor Who, Firefly
Characters: Simon, Ten, Rose, mentions of other Firefly characters, other Who characters
Pairings: Simon/Rose/Ten in a very friendshippy way and nothing more (though more Simon/Rose), implied Mal/Simon, implied Ten/Rose
Summary: Simon feels at home with The Doctor and Rose.
Timeline: Firefly - OiS is the last that happened, but this is long into the future, a couple of years, I’d say. Doctor Who - Assume that everything up to and including 2x09 has happened.
Word Count: 2728
Rating: PG
Notes: Thanks to naughtyelf for being my test audience on this. Also, I've got so many ideas in my head for this. It should be awesome.
Previous Parts
This Used To Be Home, Mal/Simon, others
Something Like Home, Simon, Rose, Ten
Simon never said goodbye to his parents. He didn’t really see the need, since they barely spoke anyway, and his father would only try to make him stay. Staying on Osiris was basically the last thing Simon wanted to do now that he had an opportunity to leave. He gathered up the small amount of things he could fit in two small carry bags and was back outside where The Doctor and Rose were waiting for him after not even five minutes.
He knew this was unlike him. He hadn’t even stopped to think about it. He just said yes. He was going off to who knows where with two complete strangers, on a ship he’d never even seen. It was insane. It was mad. It was exactly what Simon needed.
Simon made sure he had everything he wanted to take. A few changes of clothes, some personal objects that he couldn’t do without and a few captures Kaylee had taken in the days just before he left Serenity. She’d given them to him the night before he left, just after she and Inara had surprised him with a small going away party. It was her way of trying to make it less upsetting, and he appreciated it. Even Mal had been there. Briefly.
He hadn’t realized Rose was saying anything until she looked at him and spoke, with concern in her voice.
“Are you alright, Simon?”
He shook his head out of his thoughts. The last thing he needed to do was think about Mal, Kaylee and Serenity. He forced a smile.
“Just fine. Now, where’s this ship?”
-----
Simon couldn’t believe his eyes. On the outside, it was a small, blue box, like something out of Earth-That-Was. On the inside it was amazing. It was huge. It was beautiful. Rose had explained on the way there, or at least tried to. Simon was having a hard time believing that time travel was remotely possible. There had been people who tried, he heard about it on the cortex all the time. They never succeeded though, and it was thought of as just a myth. But this was real. This was amazing.
“So, then, Doctor Tam,” The Doctor grinned, “Where to?”
Simon thought of the possibilities. All the possibilities. The future. The past. Anywhere in the universe. Anywhere in time. They could go anywhere. He didn’t know where to begin.
“Surprise me,” Simon settled on that.
The Doctor grinned.
“He likes this part,” Rose whispered quietly with a smile.
The Doctor started playing with levers and buttons, muttering to himself the entire time. The TARDIS jerked.
“Might want to hold on to something,” Rose said, grabbing hold of a pole as the TARDIS lurched again.
Simon stumbled forward and fell to the ground. Rose laughed quietly and smiled, “I told you.”
Simon pushed himself up as the TARDIS came to a sudden stop.
“Yes, I suppose you did.”
Rose walked over and lent Simon a hand to help him up.
“Are you ready for this?”
Simon wasn’t sure he ever would be.
-----
The future. It wasn’t exactly was Simon thought it would be. He’d never really believed in the possibility that there could be other life forms. He’d traveled the entire universe with Serenity, and all they’d ever come into contact with were people. He’d seen thousands of studies and books and essays and sat through lectures that disproved the existence of alien life forms.
But he’d seen them with his own two eyes now. He knew they existed. He’s stood alongside Rose and The Doctor as they saved an alien life form, what had The Doctor called them again? Simon had already forgotten. In all fairness, though, he’d been so distracted by the blue being in front of him, he hadn’t really been listening.
They stepped back onto the TARDIS. He took it in again. Everything about it was completely alien. A space ship. Not a ship like Serenity or any of the others he’d seen or been on. A time traveling space ship. Bigger on the inside than on the outside. River would have loved it.
“Are you alright?”
Rose looked over at Simon with concern in her eyes. He liked Rose. She was sweet and kind, and she reminded him of a little bit of Kaylee. He smiled at her because it was hard not to.
“I am,” he paused, “I will be. It’s a lot to take in.”
Rose laughed quietly and then looked at The Doctor, “I’ll take him to his room.”
“You do that, Rose. I’ll set us up for the next destination,” The Doctor paused and took on an amused tone, “Hold on to something.”
-----
Over the following weeks Simon traveled through space and time with The Doctor and Rose. They’d developed a friendship, one like Simon didn’t think he would ever have again. Simon told them about River, about Serenity and about why he had to leave. He left out some of the details. It was painful enough for him just to relive the basic idea of it, and he didn’t have the energy to explain everything. Rose told him about Mickey and how he chose to stay behind in an alternate universe. It was nice to have that again, to have someone to just talk to, about nothing and everything. When he went back to Osiris, he was sure he’d left that behind.
Everything about Rose was warm and welcoming. He knew right away that she reminded him of Kaylee, but he had no idea just how much like his old friend Rose was. He missed Kaylee, and it wasn’t as if Rose was just a substitution, but it was nice to have someone to fill that void. The Doctor wasn’t exactly warm and welcoming, but he had his moments. Simon started to notice some startling similarities to Mal after spending more and more time with him. It was equal parts comforting and disconcerting.
“It’s mum’s birthday tomorrow.”
The three of them were sitting down, having a meal, when Rose looked up, completely alarmed.
“I’d forgotten completely. I should stop in to say something, don’t you think?”
“Do we really have to?” The Doctor said in a mock disappointed tone, “I’m not sure I’m in the mood for Jackie right now.”
“Yes,” she slapped him in the arm, “We do, and you’re going to be nice. Tell her happy birthday and everything. I haven’t dropped by in a while,” she paused, frowning, “She’s going to be expecting a gift.”
“Our presence isn’t enough?” The Doctor grinned, “I would think that should be enough.”
“Have you met my mum?”
The both laughed. Simon looked on. He always felt a bit left out when they shared jokes or memories he wasn’t in on. It wasn’t so bad though, and he imagined it was only natural. Rose mentioned she’d been traveling with The Doctor for quite a while, and he wasn’t completely unsure there wasn’t something more than friendship going on with them.
“Simon here hasn’t met Jackie. You think we should spare him that joy and let him stay on the TARDIS while we go?”
“No way,” Rose looked over at Simon, “You’ll love my mum,” she looked at The Doctor, “Besides that, he’s never seen Earth before.”
“Oh, that’s right. He’s not, has he? Well, then, it should be nice for him to get a nice big welcome from Jackie Tyler.”
Simon wasn’t sure, but he thought he detected sarcasm in The Doctor’s voice.
-----
Hours later, Simon was standing at the door of the TARDIS. He’d been so many places in the last few weeks, but this was probably the most exciting. Earth-That-Was. He didn’t know much about it, other than what he’d read in textbooks and what he’d heard in stories that had been passed down through generations.
The Doctor and Rose stepped out first. He took his time, taking it in. It was amazing. It was so much like the planet he himself had grown up wrong. There were no spaceships, and he could tell it was 500 years in the past, at least, but it was still so familiar. It was the past of the human race, right here in front of him.
Rose smiled over at him like she knew what he was thinking before looping her arm with his and taking The Doctor’s hand.
“Shall we, then?”
The didn’t have to walk far because Jackie Tyler had heard the TARDIS coming. She was rushing at them quickly and before any of them realized it, she was enveloping Rose in a large hug. Simon could see the family resemblance.
“Who’s this then?” she looked over at him, “He’s not bad.”
“Mum,” Rose gave her mom a warning looking.
“What?”
The Doctor looked like he was going laugh soon, but he held it in and instead answered her question.
“Jackie, this is Simon. He’s joined Rose and I for the time being.”
“Well, then, Simon,” Jackie fiddled a bit with her hair and smiled, “It’s nice to meet you. Perhaps you should all come back to mine for tea.”
The Doctor and Rose shared a look of amusement before Rose turned back to look at Jackie.
“Yes, we should. All of us,” she took Simon’s arm again and started walking ahead of The Doctor and her mum, “I’m sorry about her. I know she can be a bit…much, but she’s my mum, you know?”
“It’s really alright,” Simon laughed quietly, “So, she’s always like that?”
“Pretty much, yeah,” she laughed and looked back at The Doctor and her mum, “I’m going to get an earful from him later, leaving them alone like that.”
Simon looked back and couldn’t help but laugh. Jackie Tyler was going on about something, while The Doctor looked back at Rose. It was an amused look, but still slightly awkward.
“I imagine he probably will, yes.”
-----
Dinner with Jackie Tyler was almost exactly as Simon expected when it had first been suggested. He remembered Rose telling him what her mother felt about everything with The Doctor. She was okay with it now, of course, but it was obvious that she still worried, still missed Rose. She seemed to be okay with The Doctor, though, and she also seemed to like Simon. And he had to admit, she was almost as warm and welcoming as her daughter. Though, he probably could have done without the flirting.
The didn’t stay long, and Simon wished that he’d had more time to take in everything on Earth, but he imagined that they would be back. He hoped so anyway. He liked it there.
-----
He wasn’t wrong. Another three weeks down, and he’d gone back to Earth with The Doctor and Rose at least five more times. Sometimes past, sometimes future, always memorable. He never felt left out now. He always had some tidbit to throw in when The Doctor and Rose were talking, had some memory to add or some joke to put out there.
It felt like he was back on Serenity. It wasn’t just like having friends again anymore. It was like being part of something again, having a family. After River died, even with Mal and Kaylee and Inara, he hadn’t felt like this. Not remotely. He wondered if it was because he hadn’t let himself.
He wondered, if he had, would he have been able to be this happy there? He hated thinking about it. He hated thinking of what he might have had with Mal if he’d stayed, if he’d been able to let go of River just a little bit sooner.
When the three of them parted ways for bed at night, (At least, him and Rose went to bed. He was never really sure if The Doctor ever slept.) he had to fight not to wonder where his old family was now. He had to force himself not to wonder how Kaylee and Inara were doing, if they were still together, if Mal was alive, if Wash and Zoe were still married, if Jayne had tried to take over yet. It wasn’t easy, not at all.
Even with his life here, even with Rose and The Doctor feeling so much like family, he missed Serenity. Missed them.
He heard a soft knock on his door. It had to be Rose. There was no one else.
“Come in.”
She walked in and smiled softly, sitting on the edge of the bed.
“You went to bed fairly early tonight. Are you feeling alright?”
“I’m okay.”
“As long as you’re sure,” she paused.
He could tell she didn’t believe him. He also knew her well enough to know she was about to ask about it. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to talk to her about it. It was that he didn’t want to talk about it at all. With anyone. Ever. That part of his life was over now.
“You can tell me, you know. We’ve been in this together for more than a month now,” she hesitated, “Is it about your sister?”
He shifted up in the bed.
“No,” he paused, “Sort of,” now that she’d asked, he wasn’t sure he could stop himself, “I didn’t really tell you everything about all of that.”
“No, I didn’t figure you had,” she gave a quick smile, “You can now.”
“I know I can.”
She sighed and kept smiling.
“You and The Doctor,” she paused, “So much alike. I can’t get him to talk about his past either, you know. Not in a more than vague way. I wonder if it’s a man thing or a doctor thing,” she teased lightly.
Simon laughed very quietly.
“Maybe both,” he paused.
He knew there was something under the surface with The Doctor and Rose, something neither of them did anything or said anything about, but he wasn’t sure it was something he could bring up. It seemed relevant though, at that moment.
“Do you love him?”
Rose looked shocked. She hadn’t expected the question, not that he thought she was going to. It seemed to have come out of nowhere, though Simon really was planning to go somewhere with it. When she finally answered she was quiet.
“I suppose, yes. I don’t really,” she paused, “I’m not sure anything will, or can, come of it, but yeah, I do.”
“You should say something.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” she paused, “Anyway, what’s it got to do with anything? This is about you.”
“It’s relevant, I promise,” he paused, “You should say something. You don’t know what’s going to happen,” he paused again, “There was someone. I left that out before. It’s just that you don’t realize it, you know. When you’re there, in the moment. And then it’s over, and you’re gone, and you have wonder what could have been. You don’t want that to happen. Trust me.”
“Oh,” Rose said in sudden realization.
“I know it was my fault. When I was on Serenity, after River died, I chose to leave. I chose to ignore the fact that there were other people there I cared about, other people to miss, and now I have to constantly wonder if I should have tried harder to move on. If I should have stayed.”
Rose moved closer to Simon on the bed and smiled sadly. She knew he was holding back about everything that had happened before they met, but she never really thought he would come out with it.
“You don’t have to, you know. This is a time machine. We could find them.”
“No,” he paused, “It’s too late for that. I can’t imagine they ever want to see my face again, and even if they did, the universe is too big.”
“There’s no convincing you, is there?”
“Probably not.”
“Can’t say didn’t try though, can you?” She smiled at him.
“No,” he returned the smile, “Thank you.”
“I do what I can.”
Simon still wondered about Mal and Kaylee and the rest of the crew of Serenity. He still wondered what might have been. He still wished he could see them again, but right now he had The Doctor and Rose and that was enough. It wasn’t the same, but they were still friends, still family. And the TARDIS was more and more like home every day.
Fandom: Doctor Who, Firefly
Characters: Simon, Ten, Rose, mentions of other Firefly characters, other Who characters
Pairings: Simon/Rose/Ten in a very friendshippy way and nothing more (though more Simon/Rose), implied Mal/Simon, implied Ten/Rose
Summary: Simon feels at home with The Doctor and Rose.
Timeline: Firefly - OiS is the last that happened, but this is long into the future, a couple of years, I’d say. Doctor Who - Assume that everything up to and including 2x09 has happened.
Word Count: 2728
Rating: PG
Notes: Thanks to naughtyelf for being my test audience on this. Also, I've got so many ideas in my head for this. It should be awesome.
Previous Parts
This Used To Be Home, Mal/Simon, others
Something Like Home, Simon, Rose, Ten
Simon never said goodbye to his parents. He didn’t really see the need, since they barely spoke anyway, and his father would only try to make him stay. Staying on Osiris was basically the last thing Simon wanted to do now that he had an opportunity to leave. He gathered up the small amount of things he could fit in two small carry bags and was back outside where The Doctor and Rose were waiting for him after not even five minutes.
He knew this was unlike him. He hadn’t even stopped to think about it. He just said yes. He was going off to who knows where with two complete strangers, on a ship he’d never even seen. It was insane. It was mad. It was exactly what Simon needed.
Simon made sure he had everything he wanted to take. A few changes of clothes, some personal objects that he couldn’t do without and a few captures Kaylee had taken in the days just before he left Serenity. She’d given them to him the night before he left, just after she and Inara had surprised him with a small going away party. It was her way of trying to make it less upsetting, and he appreciated it. Even Mal had been there. Briefly.
He hadn’t realized Rose was saying anything until she looked at him and spoke, with concern in her voice.
“Are you alright, Simon?”
He shook his head out of his thoughts. The last thing he needed to do was think about Mal, Kaylee and Serenity. He forced a smile.
“Just fine. Now, where’s this ship?”
-----
Simon couldn’t believe his eyes. On the outside, it was a small, blue box, like something out of Earth-That-Was. On the inside it was amazing. It was huge. It was beautiful. Rose had explained on the way there, or at least tried to. Simon was having a hard time believing that time travel was remotely possible. There had been people who tried, he heard about it on the cortex all the time. They never succeeded though, and it was thought of as just a myth. But this was real. This was amazing.
“So, then, Doctor Tam,” The Doctor grinned, “Where to?”
Simon thought of the possibilities. All the possibilities. The future. The past. Anywhere in the universe. Anywhere in time. They could go anywhere. He didn’t know where to begin.
“Surprise me,” Simon settled on that.
The Doctor grinned.
“He likes this part,” Rose whispered quietly with a smile.
The Doctor started playing with levers and buttons, muttering to himself the entire time. The TARDIS jerked.
“Might want to hold on to something,” Rose said, grabbing hold of a pole as the TARDIS lurched again.
Simon stumbled forward and fell to the ground. Rose laughed quietly and smiled, “I told you.”
Simon pushed himself up as the TARDIS came to a sudden stop.
“Yes, I suppose you did.”
Rose walked over and lent Simon a hand to help him up.
“Are you ready for this?”
Simon wasn’t sure he ever would be.
-----
The future. It wasn’t exactly was Simon thought it would be. He’d never really believed in the possibility that there could be other life forms. He’d traveled the entire universe with Serenity, and all they’d ever come into contact with were people. He’d seen thousands of studies and books and essays and sat through lectures that disproved the existence of alien life forms.
But he’d seen them with his own two eyes now. He knew they existed. He’s stood alongside Rose and The Doctor as they saved an alien life form, what had The Doctor called them again? Simon had already forgotten. In all fairness, though, he’d been so distracted by the blue being in front of him, he hadn’t really been listening.
They stepped back onto the TARDIS. He took it in again. Everything about it was completely alien. A space ship. Not a ship like Serenity or any of the others he’d seen or been on. A time traveling space ship. Bigger on the inside than on the outside. River would have loved it.
“Are you alright?”
Rose looked over at Simon with concern in her eyes. He liked Rose. She was sweet and kind, and she reminded him of a little bit of Kaylee. He smiled at her because it was hard not to.
“I am,” he paused, “I will be. It’s a lot to take in.”
Rose laughed quietly and then looked at The Doctor, “I’ll take him to his room.”
“You do that, Rose. I’ll set us up for the next destination,” The Doctor paused and took on an amused tone, “Hold on to something.”
-----
Over the following weeks Simon traveled through space and time with The Doctor and Rose. They’d developed a friendship, one like Simon didn’t think he would ever have again. Simon told them about River, about Serenity and about why he had to leave. He left out some of the details. It was painful enough for him just to relive the basic idea of it, and he didn’t have the energy to explain everything. Rose told him about Mickey and how he chose to stay behind in an alternate universe. It was nice to have that again, to have someone to just talk to, about nothing and everything. When he went back to Osiris, he was sure he’d left that behind.
Everything about Rose was warm and welcoming. He knew right away that she reminded him of Kaylee, but he had no idea just how much like his old friend Rose was. He missed Kaylee, and it wasn’t as if Rose was just a substitution, but it was nice to have someone to fill that void. The Doctor wasn’t exactly warm and welcoming, but he had his moments. Simon started to notice some startling similarities to Mal after spending more and more time with him. It was equal parts comforting and disconcerting.
“It’s mum’s birthday tomorrow.”
The three of them were sitting down, having a meal, when Rose looked up, completely alarmed.
“I’d forgotten completely. I should stop in to say something, don’t you think?”
“Do we really have to?” The Doctor said in a mock disappointed tone, “I’m not sure I’m in the mood for Jackie right now.”
“Yes,” she slapped him in the arm, “We do, and you’re going to be nice. Tell her happy birthday and everything. I haven’t dropped by in a while,” she paused, frowning, “She’s going to be expecting a gift.”
“Our presence isn’t enough?” The Doctor grinned, “I would think that should be enough.”
“Have you met my mum?”
The both laughed. Simon looked on. He always felt a bit left out when they shared jokes or memories he wasn’t in on. It wasn’t so bad though, and he imagined it was only natural. Rose mentioned she’d been traveling with The Doctor for quite a while, and he wasn’t completely unsure there wasn’t something more than friendship going on with them.
“Simon here hasn’t met Jackie. You think we should spare him that joy and let him stay on the TARDIS while we go?”
“No way,” Rose looked over at Simon, “You’ll love my mum,” she looked at The Doctor, “Besides that, he’s never seen Earth before.”
“Oh, that’s right. He’s not, has he? Well, then, it should be nice for him to get a nice big welcome from Jackie Tyler.”
Simon wasn’t sure, but he thought he detected sarcasm in The Doctor’s voice.
-----
Hours later, Simon was standing at the door of the TARDIS. He’d been so many places in the last few weeks, but this was probably the most exciting. Earth-That-Was. He didn’t know much about it, other than what he’d read in textbooks and what he’d heard in stories that had been passed down through generations.
The Doctor and Rose stepped out first. He took his time, taking it in. It was amazing. It was so much like the planet he himself had grown up wrong. There were no spaceships, and he could tell it was 500 years in the past, at least, but it was still so familiar. It was the past of the human race, right here in front of him.
Rose smiled over at him like she knew what he was thinking before looping her arm with his and taking The Doctor’s hand.
“Shall we, then?”
The didn’t have to walk far because Jackie Tyler had heard the TARDIS coming. She was rushing at them quickly and before any of them realized it, she was enveloping Rose in a large hug. Simon could see the family resemblance.
“Who’s this then?” she looked over at him, “He’s not bad.”
“Mum,” Rose gave her mom a warning looking.
“What?”
The Doctor looked like he was going laugh soon, but he held it in and instead answered her question.
“Jackie, this is Simon. He’s joined Rose and I for the time being.”
“Well, then, Simon,” Jackie fiddled a bit with her hair and smiled, “It’s nice to meet you. Perhaps you should all come back to mine for tea.”
The Doctor and Rose shared a look of amusement before Rose turned back to look at Jackie.
“Yes, we should. All of us,” she took Simon’s arm again and started walking ahead of The Doctor and her mum, “I’m sorry about her. I know she can be a bit…much, but she’s my mum, you know?”
“It’s really alright,” Simon laughed quietly, “So, she’s always like that?”
“Pretty much, yeah,” she laughed and looked back at The Doctor and her mum, “I’m going to get an earful from him later, leaving them alone like that.”
Simon looked back and couldn’t help but laugh. Jackie Tyler was going on about something, while The Doctor looked back at Rose. It was an amused look, but still slightly awkward.
“I imagine he probably will, yes.”
-----
Dinner with Jackie Tyler was almost exactly as Simon expected when it had first been suggested. He remembered Rose telling him what her mother felt about everything with The Doctor. She was okay with it now, of course, but it was obvious that she still worried, still missed Rose. She seemed to be okay with The Doctor, though, and she also seemed to like Simon. And he had to admit, she was almost as warm and welcoming as her daughter. Though, he probably could have done without the flirting.
The didn’t stay long, and Simon wished that he’d had more time to take in everything on Earth, but he imagined that they would be back. He hoped so anyway. He liked it there.
-----
He wasn’t wrong. Another three weeks down, and he’d gone back to Earth with The Doctor and Rose at least five more times. Sometimes past, sometimes future, always memorable. He never felt left out now. He always had some tidbit to throw in when The Doctor and Rose were talking, had some memory to add or some joke to put out there.
It felt like he was back on Serenity. It wasn’t just like having friends again anymore. It was like being part of something again, having a family. After River died, even with Mal and Kaylee and Inara, he hadn’t felt like this. Not remotely. He wondered if it was because he hadn’t let himself.
He wondered, if he had, would he have been able to be this happy there? He hated thinking about it. He hated thinking of what he might have had with Mal if he’d stayed, if he’d been able to let go of River just a little bit sooner.
When the three of them parted ways for bed at night, (At least, him and Rose went to bed. He was never really sure if The Doctor ever slept.) he had to fight not to wonder where his old family was now. He had to force himself not to wonder how Kaylee and Inara were doing, if they were still together, if Mal was alive, if Wash and Zoe were still married, if Jayne had tried to take over yet. It wasn’t easy, not at all.
Even with his life here, even with Rose and The Doctor feeling so much like family, he missed Serenity. Missed them.
He heard a soft knock on his door. It had to be Rose. There was no one else.
“Come in.”
She walked in and smiled softly, sitting on the edge of the bed.
“You went to bed fairly early tonight. Are you feeling alright?”
“I’m okay.”
“As long as you’re sure,” she paused.
He could tell she didn’t believe him. He also knew her well enough to know she was about to ask about it. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to talk to her about it. It was that he didn’t want to talk about it at all. With anyone. Ever. That part of his life was over now.
“You can tell me, you know. We’ve been in this together for more than a month now,” she hesitated, “Is it about your sister?”
He shifted up in the bed.
“No,” he paused, “Sort of,” now that she’d asked, he wasn’t sure he could stop himself, “I didn’t really tell you everything about all of that.”
“No, I didn’t figure you had,” she gave a quick smile, “You can now.”
“I know I can.”
She sighed and kept smiling.
“You and The Doctor,” she paused, “So much alike. I can’t get him to talk about his past either, you know. Not in a more than vague way. I wonder if it’s a man thing or a doctor thing,” she teased lightly.
Simon laughed very quietly.
“Maybe both,” he paused.
He knew there was something under the surface with The Doctor and Rose, something neither of them did anything or said anything about, but he wasn’t sure it was something he could bring up. It seemed relevant though, at that moment.
“Do you love him?”
Rose looked shocked. She hadn’t expected the question, not that he thought she was going to. It seemed to have come out of nowhere, though Simon really was planning to go somewhere with it. When she finally answered she was quiet.
“I suppose, yes. I don’t really,” she paused, “I’m not sure anything will, or can, come of it, but yeah, I do.”
“You should say something.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” she paused, “Anyway, what’s it got to do with anything? This is about you.”
“It’s relevant, I promise,” he paused, “You should say something. You don’t know what’s going to happen,” he paused again, “There was someone. I left that out before. It’s just that you don’t realize it, you know. When you’re there, in the moment. And then it’s over, and you’re gone, and you have wonder what could have been. You don’t want that to happen. Trust me.”
“Oh,” Rose said in sudden realization.
“I know it was my fault. When I was on Serenity, after River died, I chose to leave. I chose to ignore the fact that there were other people there I cared about, other people to miss, and now I have to constantly wonder if I should have tried harder to move on. If I should have stayed.”
Rose moved closer to Simon on the bed and smiled sadly. She knew he was holding back about everything that had happened before they met, but she never really thought he would come out with it.
“You don’t have to, you know. This is a time machine. We could find them.”
“No,” he paused, “It’s too late for that. I can’t imagine they ever want to see my face again, and even if they did, the universe is too big.”
“There’s no convincing you, is there?”
“Probably not.”
“Can’t say didn’t try though, can you?” She smiled at him.
“No,” he returned the smile, “Thank you.”
“I do what I can.”
Simon still wondered about Mal and Kaylee and the rest of the crew of Serenity. He still wondered what might have been. He still wished he could see them again, but right now he had The Doctor and Rose and that was enough. It wasn’t the same, but they were still friends, still family. And the TARDIS was more and more like home every day.