Yes, I know. It's Independence Day and I should be posting about freedom, liberty or at the very least, barbecues. But instead, I'm going to write about titles
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I think you and I have discussed this before. (I know I vividly remember the UPS story from the first time you shared it.) I have received many a card addressed to Mrs. MyLastName. And, yeah, I have a similar reaction. I'm not married to myself. I also occasionally get the random piece of mail with my name and my husband's name hypenated. Again, a bit odd, since I don't use my husband's name in any form with my name. But it usually from older people, so I give them a pass. It cracks me up, though, that all "official" mailings from our church come addressed to Husband Lastname and Mrs. Me Mylastname. It's like there has to be some proof that we're not "living in sin."
In my native Germany, all women who are no longer "little girls" are "Frau", whether married or unmarried. Makes things easier. It is also quite common for women to keep their name, or hyphenate their maiden and their husband's name. Nobody really cares. Nor do they have a problem with "Dr and Mr" on an envelope!
When I married my (American) husband and moved to the US, I hyphenated ... my husband's name is easier for English speakers to pronounce, and I liked the idea of "combining" my two families. However, I still gag everytime a letter arrives to "Mr and Mrs John Smith". My name is not John, I say, nor is it Smith. It is XXX-Smith. Imagine my surprise that "Mrs John Smith" is actually the correct form here??? According to Miss Manners, I am either a) Ms XXX-Smith or b) Mrs John Smith, but I think to call a woman by her husbands' FIRST name (never mind last name) is soooooo patriachal. Ick.
Good for you for fighting back. I'm too lazy, and that's probably not a good thing, because nothing will change.
Hello! You don't know me ( read from chiromamas friends list) but you have struck a cord and I have to jump in too. :) I HATE that in 2006 people seem dumb struck by the idea that I am in fact married AND I have a different name than my husband. It gets especially aggravating at my daughter's preschool. "And how are you related again?" just because my daughter and I do not have the same last name. ARGHHHHHHHHHHH! I am Italian and despite Italy's horrific track record for women's rights (the high court recently ruled that the punishment for rape is not as severe if the women was not a virgin), in southern Italy women keep their last name even when married. Their "Mrs." just indicates a married status and not a property status. But the damn Americans just can't seem to wrap their heads around it. Good for you for giving 'em hell!!! -Odessa
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But the adoption agency? That's just messed up.
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When I married my (American) husband and moved to the US, I hyphenated ... my husband's name is easier for English speakers to pronounce, and I liked the idea of "combining" my two families. However, I still gag everytime a letter arrives to "Mr and Mrs John Smith". My name is not John, I say, nor is it Smith. It is XXX-Smith. Imagine my surprise that "Mrs John Smith" is actually the correct form here??? According to Miss Manners, I am either a) Ms XXX-Smith or b) Mrs John Smith, but I think to call a woman by her husbands' FIRST name (never mind last name) is soooooo patriachal. Ick.
Good for you for fighting back. I'm too lazy, and that's probably not a good thing, because nothing will change.
Jessica
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You don't know me ( read from chiromamas friends list) but you have struck a cord and I have to jump in too. :)
I HATE that in 2006 people seem dumb struck by the idea that I am in fact married AND I have a different name than my husband. It gets especially aggravating at my daughter's preschool. "And how are you related again?" just because my daughter and I do not have the same last name. ARGHHHHHHHHHHH!
I am Italian and despite Italy's horrific track record for women's rights (the high court recently ruled that the punishment for rape is not as severe if the women was not a virgin), in southern Italy women keep their last name even when married. Their "Mrs." just indicates a married status and not a property status. But the damn Americans just can't seem to wrap their heads around it.
Good for you for giving 'em hell!!!
-Odessa
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