Thicker Than Blood - Chapter 2
Five Years Later…
Cloud Strife threw himself back as a sharp beak stabbed at his side. The Epiolnis hissed as its attack met only air and Cloud answered with the thunder of his machinegun.
Quickly it drew away, bringing up one large wing-like claw up to guard its head. The fiery crest crowning its brow rose upward, quivering with anger, but ( Read more... )
Cloud Strife threw himself back as a sharp beak stabbed at his side. The Epiolnis hissed as its attack met only air and Cloud answered with the thunder of his machinegun.
Quickly it drew away, bringing up one large wing-like claw up to guard its head. The fiery crest crowning its brow rose upward, quivering with anger, but ( Read more... )
Comments 12
Nice chapter, BTW. Got to see Rufus and Cloud and Luxiere be all buddy-buddy, and the reference to Tseng's lack of piloting skills made me LOL. Hope we're going to see more characters step onto the stage soon. w00t!
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Tseng's piloting skills are actually inspired by Crisis Core. They never did give us a explanation as to why he crashed his helicopter. Yes, Reno did it in ACC but that was under combat flying conditions.
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I was thinking that Tifa was the only survivor of Sephiroth's rampage in Nibelheim in the original game, in the "up-close-and-personal" sense. Even Zangan hadn't had to face off directly against the General in his crazed state, and Johnny was already in Midgar when Nibelheim went up in flames. It's sad if even she didn't make it this time around. (I don't see Zack and Cloud as survivors of the Nibelheim incident, considering Hojo got to vivisect them for the next 4 years.)
And I remember Tseng crashing during the trip to Modeoheim. Great way for Zack and Cloud to meet = black mark on Tseng's piloting track record. I couldn't figure out what exactly made him crash land during that mission either.
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I never really thought about it that way. That being said she was scarred in her own way. I don't really think terrorist behaviour is a healthy way of coping.
I have to admit Tseng gets portrayed as super!Turk in fic, so I like showing that as cool as he is, he's not without flaws.
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Between the tightness of the space and the stranger’s skill and, it was over soon enough.
This sentence is awkward. Get rid of the second 'and'?
He’d heard of Epiolni being vicious though that was due to mako leaching into their drinking water.
Change to 'vicious, though'.
It was quite tempting notion, and he was quite reluctant to let it go.
'quite a tempting' or 'quite the temping'
Maybe 'and one he was'?
Rufus retorted to the Tur
Text cut off?
OK, enough correcting shit. I can't wait for the next part :D <3
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In my defence, I'm currently trying to find a new place, help my parents move and find another job. That being said I always find it difficult to proofread my own work.
Thanks for the awesome feedback.
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Fight scenes were great. Interesting choice of monster. Cloud coming across a face long dead was gut-wrenching. Even if disbelief and denial is his natural reaction, that memory will surely come back to haunt him later.
"Honestly Tseng, he is perfectly capable. He does not, for example, crash his helicopter during ideal flying conditions like some people I might name.” I laughed. Helicopter flying is Tseng's one weakness! We must use this against him endlessly to great comedic effect ( ... )
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Kunsel was cast Luxiere's role but I found myself incapable of separating him from your version and my fic with him, so Luxiere was cast.
I've always wondered why Zack and Cloud didn't become standard Seph!clones. So I ended up deciding that they kept each other sane and if things had gone otherwise... well, I think the conclusion is obviously not a good one.
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