Who Fic: Still Time (2/2)
These two make me so sad. I'll probably still need Doomsday related therapy two years from now. *wibbly sigh*
Title: Still Time (2/2)
Disclaimer: Doctor Who belongs to the BBC and Co. As in, not me.
Keywords: Rose, Ten, Rose/Ten
Summary: Time for some thrilling heroics.
Spoilers: Through Doomsday
Word Count: 4, 019
A/N: Hugest thanks to dominique012 for the fast and amazing beta job, and for assuring me that my plot held together. *big hugs*
Chapter One
She was awoken by a familiar sound, the sound of buzzing-like a beehive in summer. It was an eerily familiar noise.
Rose wrenched her eyes open, and then gasped.
She was back on the alien ship, in the hospital room. And it was the Doctor. He was using the sonic screwdriver to undo her bonds.
She was dreaming again.
Her head thunked back and she stared at the ceiling. How much more could she take? Using people who looked like those she loved, who sounded like them… it was horrible.
“What are you doing?”
Her scratchy voice took her by surprise, and the Doctor didn’t look up.
“Freeing you,” he said simply.
Rose bit her lip, and swallowed past the dryness in her throat. “I know you’re not him.”
Her last bond snapped open, but she didn’t move. If she just kept her eyes shut. She could ignore him. Eventually the Robuhanderclan would have to give up on her.
“Rose.”
His voice was gentle, but Rose folded her arms across her chest, a vain attempt to cover herself up.
“Honestly, Rose, it’s-” He paused, and she heard a rustling noise. A moment later, she felt the warm material of his overcoat settling across her body. “There. Should do in the meantime. Clothes have got to be about here someplace-ah, there they are.”
“No, wait-” Rose said, opening her eyes and pushing herself up on her forearms.
The Doctor froze, but then broke into a relieved smile when he caught her eyes. She felt something tingle in her belly.
“There you are,” he whispered, swallowing heavily. “Almost afraid I got here too late. But you fought on, didn’t you? Of course you did.”
There was something… just something about him. But he couldn’t be real, could he? That was impossible. They were separated by alternate worlds.
As she finished the thought, she heard the faint rumble of an explosion in the distance.
The Doctor sighed and scratched his chin. “Well,” he said thoughtfully. “There goes the element of surprise.”
Rose blinked at him, hugging his jacket close to her chest as she sat up. There was a terrible soreness in her wrists and ankles where she’d been bound to the table.
“Torchwood,” he explained. “The Robuhanderclan’s really done a number on your earth.” The Doctor sighed. “My people… we banished them years ago. If I’d known they’d been sent here… well, it doesn’t matter now. Easy enough for the TARDIS to follow them through the rift.”
“You mean…” Rose trailed off, feeling a burning in her eyes. “And I’m not saying I believe it’s you, but if you are really here, and you did really come through… you’re saying that all this time, you could’ve crossed over to my world? That whole thing… us being separated like that, it didn’t have to happen?”
He hesitated long enough for Rose to know she was right.
“This really is a nightmare,” she said. “To think you could’ve just followed them through-all that time, Doctor!”
The Doctor scuffled his feet and shoved his hands in his pockets, looking like a guilty schoolboy. “I didn’t know, Rose.”
Rose accepted that. She had no other choice.
“I honestly didn’t know,” the Doctor continued. “Not until… not until that dream.”
“Dream?” Rose said. “What dream?”
“Bit foggy on the details,” the Doctor said. “Felt a bit uncomfortably like scenes from A Christmas Carol, what with the past and less handsome versions of myself showing up.”
“You were there?” Rose whispered. “But you… the things you said… it couldn’t have been.”
His eyes softened. “No,” he said. “Not me. Bits of me. Enough for the Robuhanderclan to get what they needed.”
Rose blinked, not certain she understood, but the Doctor’s look hardened.
“My god,” he said, examining her. “What have they done to you?”
He moved to her side, and Rose flinched away, halting him. Slowly he drew his hands back, one arm coming up to scratch the back of his neck. “You arms,” he said.
She followed his gaze, and found her arms covered in small bruises and lacerations. Her face burned, and she couldn’t look at him. A hundred times, no, a thousand, she’d imagined their reunion. And none of them had been like this. If this really was the Doctor, it would drive him mad, seeing her like this, and not being able to touch her, to comfort her.
She pulled her bottom lip between her teeth and dared to look at him again. He looked at her steadily, the concern evident in his face, but he kept his hands in his pockets.
“Why?” she said. “Why… why did they do this to me?”
There was another bang from somewhere on the Robuhanderclan’s ship, and Rose felt the floor vibrate.
The Doctor paced, speaking anxiously. “That’s what the Robuhanderclan do. They control a person’s sleep, their brainwaves; they plant suggestions, even dreams. All done with a single purpose in mind. To prey on a person’s worst fears, their nightmares. It’s… the worst sort of violation a person can endure. Eventually, it drives them mad. And when that happens, the Robuhanderclan kill them.”
Rose pressed a hand to her mouth. “Why would anything do that?” she said.
The Doctor stopped, sensitive to her distress. He opened his mouth soundlessly, and then closed it again, watching her. “Because they feed off it,” he finally said. “It’s how they live.”
“But… that’s terrible,” Rose said. “To… to do that to people-”
The first tears splashed over her cheeks, and she pulled the jacket closer to her neck and buried her face in her hands.
The Doctor was by her side in an instant. “The Robuhanderclan are only one sect in the hander family. Most are a peaceful lot, who live off rats or other lesser animals. They say the hander who fed off the flesh of humans were forever changed by it, and they became something new, something evil. But you, Rose Tyler, you beat them, you were too strong for them.”
He settled one hand down on her shoulder, and when she didn’t pull away, he sat down on the exam table next to her.
Rose slowly raised her head, wiping away the last of her tears. “Doctor?”
He gave an imperceptible nod. She launched herself forward, and he gathered her into a desperate hug, burying his nose in her hair.
“Oh, god, it’s really you,” she said. “I thought I was dreaming again.”
“Nah,” the Doctor said. “Said I’d come for you, didn’t I?”
“Said a lot of things,” Rose whispered against his shoulder. To show him she didn’t mean it, she squeezed him tighter. She wasn’t ever going to let go.
“Come on,” the Doctor said, loosening his grip. “Time to go. Get dressed.”
She gave an inelegant snort that could have passed for a laugh. “Of all the times I thought about you saying that to me-”
“Rose,” he took her face with both hands and pressed his thumb to her lip to shush her. “I mean it, we’ve got to get out of here. Once the Robuhanderclan realize they’ve been infiltrated, things will turn ugly.”
“But what about you?” Rose said. “Your job to stop it, yeah?”
Instead of answering, he leaned forward and pressed a gentle kiss to her lips, thumb smoothing under her cheek and dipping under her chin.
He pulled away and held her eyes for another second. “Come on.”
***
It felt like he might rip her arm right out of the socket.
God, it was just so him.
Rose couldn’t help but grin, scared and disoriented as she was. They crept down the hallway of the Robuhanderclan ship, the Doctor going first, the sonic screwdriver held out in front of him with his free hand.
“Oh, not good,” he muttered, stopping suddenly, and pushing her against the wall.
They waited, breathless. Rose tried not to squirm. It was just the Doctor. Just the Doctor she hadn’t seen for a fair number of years, who was currently pressing up against her in ways that were very distracting. They were running for their lives, for pity’s sake! And more than that, she’d just been tortured, brain tortured, in which the Doctor played several cameos.
She was supposed to need time to get over all of that. Not just… rush back into his arms like some sort of overeager tramp.
He looked down as if just noticing their positions. “Oh, hello.”
“Doctor,” she said, doing her best not to melt. “You could move now.”
“Hmm?” he said. “Coast might not be clear yet.”
“I think it’s clear,” Rose managed, swallowing hard.
He surveyed her for a moment, and then raised one eyebrow. “Seeing anyone?”
Blimey, that was casual, Rose thought.
“No,” Rose admitted. Seeing the triumph in his eyes, she backpedaled. “But I did! See… people. I wasn’t just waiting around for you or nothing.”
It seemed very important he should know that.
“Never imagined you would,” the Doctor said, grabbing her hand and yanking her forward again.
They ran.
***
Something inside her chest was going to swallow her whole and kill her. She stumbled, letting go of the Doctor’s hand and bending at the knees.
“I can’t…” she panted. “It hurts.”
They’d reached the Robuhanderclan control room. There was a large circular console in the middle, decorated with hundreds of tiny blinking lights. A little like a Christmas tree.
“The heart of the Robuhanderclan ship,” the Doctor murmured, stopping. He turned his attention to her, frowning when he noticed her distress. “What’s wrong?”
“I’ll be okay,” she said. “Just… bit winded, is all.”
The Doctor put one hand on her neck, just below her ear. “You’re burning up.”
“Wouldn’t think I’d be so exhausted,” Rose said. “Haven’t done anything but sleep the last few days, yeah? But I suppose my body’s still trying to recover… Doctor?”
He was looking at a point over her head. Very quietly, he said, “Rose, get behind me.”
“Wha-?” Rose said, but the Doctor took her by the shoulders and steered her behind him.
It was the Robuhanderclan. There were three of them, their mouths twisted up and convulsing silently and their wide, glassy eyes blinking at the Doctor and Rose. Their antennae began to shake, and then a horrible wailing noise emanated from their mouths.
“Cover your ears!” the Doctor hollered. “Don’t listen to them!”
Rose followed his instructions, clamping her hands to her ears and bending at the knees. She remembered now. Her team thought they had them beat, but then they started the wailing. Within seconds, Torchwood’s best had been reduced to unconscious lumps.
She glanced up at the Doctor worriedly, planning on warning him, but he seemed unaffected by the alien’s wailing. He shoved his hands in his pockets, and stood back, waiting.
The Robuhanderclan seemed taken aback. Their wailing dulled and then trailed off. They moved their mouths, and Rose expected to hear the strange clicking noise from earlier, but this time they spoke in English.
“You are not human.”
“No,” said the Doctor. “Time Lord. And that… makes this your unlucky day.”
“Time Lord,” they spat. “Your kind did this to us. Made us come here.”
No, not English, Rose realized. It was the TARDIS. The TARDIS was translating their language for her. She’d almost forgotten.
“And they were wrong to do so,” the Doctor said. “They should have killed you.”
There was a high pitch of screaming from all three Robuhanderclan, and Rose clamped her hands to her ears again, slumping heavily against the wall.
“You didn’t deserve another chance,” the Doctor said. He took the sonic screwdriver and aimed it at the ship’s heart. “See you in hell.”
After that, everything happened fast. The console shattered with a loud bang of light and sound, and the Robuhanderclan began wailing again-a different sort of wail this time, a wail of despair.
The Doctor grabbed Rose around the waist and urged her onwards. “What about Torchwood?” she yelled.
“They have their own way out, trust me,” he said. “Now, come on!”
She tried not to think. Just move. Just hold onto his hand and move.
This time she would make it.
***
The TARDIS was airy, bright, and smelled like home. There was still that odd step missing on her way up the stairs, and the slight dent in the wall just outside her room.
And staring into the mirror overhanging her old loo, Rose could almost believe she was still a girl that belonged here.
But there was something almost… ancient about her eyes. Mickey once told her, back when she was still traveling with the Doctor, that her eyes sparkled. Said she’d never looked more beautiful than when she was laughing at something the Doctor said.
Mickey.
Rose felt a rush of adoration for her friend, and she turned away from the mirror, resting her forearms on the sink and breathing heavily. It was hard to remember. All those things had been a dream. Her mum and dad were still alive-and she would do anything to keep it that way.
“You’ll need time, of course,” the Doctor said, nearly as soon as he’d declared she’d have no lasting injuries. “Need to rest… re-calibrate, I should say. You’ve been through quite the ordeal, Rose Tyler. I wouldn’t expect you to…” he trailed off. “Your room’s still here. Just up those stairs and to the left.”
“Same place,” Rose said. “Didn’t you… I mean, you must have had… others?”
The Doctor didn’t respond to that. Just stepped back from her with great effort. “Take all the time you need to recover. We won’t go anywhere. The TARDIS always needs some time in the vortex to recover after a big outing.”
He stroked one hand along the console, in the exact way Rose remembered him always doing.
She had to bite her lip to fight a giggle.
The Doctor looked up at her giggle, buoyed. “It’s good to have you back,” he said.
The words were so simple, it startled her. She nodded automatically, and backed away when he reached for her.
His hand hovered in mid-air, and then dropped to his side. He cleared his throat, joy slipping from his voice. “Go, rest,” he said, finally. “Take…”
“All the time I need,” Rose finished. “Doctor, this isn’t… the things they made me see, it’s not just something that I can take a band-aid to, yeah?”
“I’m sorry,” the Doctor said. “For whatever I might have said… done-”
“Wasn’t you,” Rose said, smiling reassuringly to show that she knew it. “And I knew that, Doctor, I knew. It’s just…”
She bowed her head, arms coming up to press against her ears. Her voice was barely intelligible. “It felt so real.”
She felt his hand on her shoulder, pulling her towards him, but she backed away, and stumbled back a few steps. “I’m just gonna go… rest up. I’ll see you later.”
Time. Such a strange concept, that. How much time did it take to recover from mental torture? From having the Doctor reject her, to watching her mum and dad die?
She figured she could spend a hundred-a thousand-years traveling around in a time machine and never find an answer to that.
She took a deep breath and splashed cold water on her face. Blinking back the water, she realized she knew one thing for sure.
She had the Doctor now-her real Doctor-and there was nothing that could make her happier than that.
It would be foolish to waste it on old fears and invisible wounds.
***
She found the Doctor in the console room, elbows propped up on the control panel, face staring speculatively at the TARDIS’s engine.
She didn’t think she’d ever seen him so still.
She cleared her throat, and he turned around to look at her. She watched the emotions play across his face-hope, joy at seeing her again, trepidation at not knowing what to say.
“Hi,” she whispered, feeling like her greeting was horribly inept. He looked so sad as he gazed at her, like he’d failed her in some way.
She swallowed and approached him. Quite suddenly, she had a memory of dancing across the console room floor, the Doctor dipping her low enough until her hair touched the floor.
“Guess I’m not dreaming, then,” Rose said. She shrugged one shoulder at his stare. “Only the real you could look at me like that.”
The Doctor dropped his gaze, giving a hint of a smile. “How are you feeling?”
“Fine,” Rose said automatically. And then she shook herself. “No, better than fine. Miles better than.”
“That’s… good,” the Doctor said, sounding like it was anything but. Mumbling to himself, he said, “She’s gone into shock. Blimey, never seen Rose go into-‘”
“Doctor,” she interrupted loudly. “Will you dance with me?”
He blinked a few times, obviously thrown by her abrupt change of subject. And then he pushed himself off the consol. “Think you can keep up?”
“Reckon I can hold my own,” Rose said, accepting his outstretched hands.
He pulled her in for a quick swing, and she laughed, meeting his eyes. “Not bad for an old chap, hmm?”
“Oh, please,” Rose said. “You’ve got the energy levels of a five-year-old.”
The Doctor pulled her in close suddenly, and she shrieked. “Thought you said you could keep up.”
“This before or after you get a cup of coffee?”
He spun her under one arm and then caught her again. “Oh, honestly. That was only that one time.”
”I had nightmares for weeks,” Rose said. She narrowed her eyes at the look on his face. “I did!”
He laughed, warm hands traveling down her back and unexpectedly pulling her closer. “Rose Tyler, I’d almost say you hadn’t changed at all.”
Rose decided to let that go.
“You did,” she said. “Changed your suit. It’s blue.”
His voice quieted. “You don’t like it?”
“Never said that,” Rose said. “Just… different, is all.”
“Well, I’ve still got the other one,” he said. “Could go put that on, if you’d prefer.”
“No,” Rose said quickly. “No, I don’t mind. Take you any way I can get you.”
They slowed to a sway, barely moving at all. But the TARDIS was firm under Rose’s feet. Steady.
She pushed her forehead to his and breathed in. “Why blue?”
“Oh, I don’t know,” he said, after a moment. “Seemed like the time to make a change.”
“How big a change?” Rose whispered.
The Doctor took a breath with great difficulty, and then he met her eyes. She knew he couldn’t put it into words. He’d always been rubbish when it came to telling her how he felt.
She wanted to tell him it was all right-she knew, but he cradled her closer and kissed her.
***
Rose had never felt so warm. She curled into impossibly soft sheets, one of the Doctor’s arms wrapped around her waist, his breath hot in her ear.
She closed her eyes, and let the moment stretch on. His chest against her back, warm palm against her stomach, soft butterfly kisses against her neck.
This-she thought-this was what it meant to be happy.
She turned around so she could kiss him again, a long kiss that turned into more of a sloppy face-sucking snog. She felt sixteen and stupid and giddy.
And then his arm moved from her waist to her hip, tracing the path of her side with his fingertips.
She shivered and buried deeper into the pillows.
He chuckled quietly, and then propped his head up on his arm behind her. When he finally spoke, his voice was deep.
“You’re not staying with me, are you?”
Rose didn’t turn around. She bunched the corner of the pillow up with one hand and clenched it in her fingers.
“Rose?” he prompted. He slid his arm around her waist again and nudged her to turn around and look at her.
She did, reluctantly. Staring into his eyes, she wanted so badly to change her mind. Her tongue flicked out to wet her lips. “I wish I could.”
Dismay clouded his eyes, and he pulled his hand back. “I see.”
“Doctor-”
“So that was-what?” the Doctor said, nodding down at her. “Out of pity?”
“What?” Rose said, blinking. She sat up, pulling the sheet up with her. “Of course not, you git! That’s what you do when the man you love pops in to save your life!”
The l-word seemed to get through to him, and he looked away. “I’m sorry.”
”No,” Rose said. “I should have told you earlier. First thing. I just… I wanted…”
“I know,” the Doctor said. “Me, too.”
They both smiled hesitantly, and then looked down at the sheet. Rose played with her fingers, and took a deep breath.
“How can I, Doctor?” she said. “How can I leave them again? They need me on this earth. They don’t have anyone. Today it was the Robuhanderclan. Tomorrow it could be worse. And they won’t have anyone to protect them.”
He touched her chin, and she bit her lip at the look of pride on his face. “I suppose… there’s not much I can say to that, is there?”
“You could stay here,” Rose said. “There’s demons in this universe too, Doctor. And I don’t know, maybe one day-maybe one day after I’m gone, you could… you could go back.”
He leaned forward and pressed a feather-light kiss to her forehead. “You know I can’t.”
Rose blinked back tears. “Why not?”
“It’s not right,” the Doctor said. “For a Time Lord to muck about in… there could be consequences.”
“It’s never simple, is it?” Rose said. She reached for his shoulders, arms linking behind his neck. “Think I’m getting it now, Doctor. There was never gonna be a happy ending for us.”
He opened his arms and pulled her into a tight hug, pressing his chin down on her head. Rose muffled a sniff against his neck.
“And you must have someone waiting for you, back there,” Rose whispered. “Someone who goes with that blue suit of yours.”
The Doctor didn’t answer and Rose knew she was right.
“You will go back for her, Doctor, won’t you?” Rose said. “Wherever you left her?”
The Doctor waited a moment before answering. “How do you know it’s a her?”
“‘Cause I know you,” Rose said.
He chuckled against her hair and it made her entire body vibrate. “Makes me sound a bit pervy, really.”
“Just a bit,” Rose agreed, smiling against his shoulder.
They traipsed into silence after that, and then the Doctor said, “Saying good-bye to you on that beach in Norway-not getting to tell you I loved you-it was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. Never really stopped regretting it.”
He pressed his nose to her hair, squeezing her tightly, and Rose drew in a shaky breath. “Doctor? I’m so glad you came to rescue me.”
She felt him smile. “Me, too.”
He pulled back and took her face between both hands, kissing her long and deep.
"How long have you got?" Rose whispered after he pulled away. "Before you've got to go back?"
She suspected the answer was somewhere in the realm of 'two days ago,' but the Doctor only said, "A few more hours shouldn't cause any sort of horrific disaster."
"A few hours," Rose said. "Well, I suppose that's better than two minutes."
The Doctor forced a chuckle, and mumbled something about wanting to make sure she didn't suffer any sort of long-term physical effects.
But there didn’t seem to be anything else left to say.
He hugged her tighter and they fell back on the bed, still entwined in each other’s arms. This, she knew, spending her last moments with the Doctor, this was the sort of dream she wished she could stay in forever.
Title: Still Time (2/2)
Disclaimer: Doctor Who belongs to the BBC and Co. As in, not me.
Keywords: Rose, Ten, Rose/Ten
Summary: Time for some thrilling heroics.
Spoilers: Through Doomsday
Word Count: 4, 019
A/N: Hugest thanks to dominique012 for the fast and amazing beta job, and for assuring me that my plot held together. *big hugs*
Chapter One
She was awoken by a familiar sound, the sound of buzzing-like a beehive in summer. It was an eerily familiar noise.
Rose wrenched her eyes open, and then gasped.
She was back on the alien ship, in the hospital room. And it was the Doctor. He was using the sonic screwdriver to undo her bonds.
She was dreaming again.
Her head thunked back and she stared at the ceiling. How much more could she take? Using people who looked like those she loved, who sounded like them… it was horrible.
“What are you doing?”
Her scratchy voice took her by surprise, and the Doctor didn’t look up.
“Freeing you,” he said simply.
Rose bit her lip, and swallowed past the dryness in her throat. “I know you’re not him.”
Her last bond snapped open, but she didn’t move. If she just kept her eyes shut. She could ignore him. Eventually the Robuhanderclan would have to give up on her.
“Rose.”
His voice was gentle, but Rose folded her arms across her chest, a vain attempt to cover herself up.
“Honestly, Rose, it’s-” He paused, and she heard a rustling noise. A moment later, she felt the warm material of his overcoat settling across her body. “There. Should do in the meantime. Clothes have got to be about here someplace-ah, there they are.”
“No, wait-” Rose said, opening her eyes and pushing herself up on her forearms.
The Doctor froze, but then broke into a relieved smile when he caught her eyes. She felt something tingle in her belly.
“There you are,” he whispered, swallowing heavily. “Almost afraid I got here too late. But you fought on, didn’t you? Of course you did.”
There was something… just something about him. But he couldn’t be real, could he? That was impossible. They were separated by alternate worlds.
As she finished the thought, she heard the faint rumble of an explosion in the distance.
The Doctor sighed and scratched his chin. “Well,” he said thoughtfully. “There goes the element of surprise.”
Rose blinked at him, hugging his jacket close to her chest as she sat up. There was a terrible soreness in her wrists and ankles where she’d been bound to the table.
“Torchwood,” he explained. “The Robuhanderclan’s really done a number on your earth.” The Doctor sighed. “My people… we banished them years ago. If I’d known they’d been sent here… well, it doesn’t matter now. Easy enough for the TARDIS to follow them through the rift.”
“You mean…” Rose trailed off, feeling a burning in her eyes. “And I’m not saying I believe it’s you, but if you are really here, and you did really come through… you’re saying that all this time, you could’ve crossed over to my world? That whole thing… us being separated like that, it didn’t have to happen?”
He hesitated long enough for Rose to know she was right.
“This really is a nightmare,” she said. “To think you could’ve just followed them through-all that time, Doctor!”
The Doctor scuffled his feet and shoved his hands in his pockets, looking like a guilty schoolboy. “I didn’t know, Rose.”
Rose accepted that. She had no other choice.
“I honestly didn’t know,” the Doctor continued. “Not until… not until that dream.”
“Dream?” Rose said. “What dream?”
“Bit foggy on the details,” the Doctor said. “Felt a bit uncomfortably like scenes from A Christmas Carol, what with the past and less handsome versions of myself showing up.”
“You were there?” Rose whispered. “But you… the things you said… it couldn’t have been.”
His eyes softened. “No,” he said. “Not me. Bits of me. Enough for the Robuhanderclan to get what they needed.”
Rose blinked, not certain she understood, but the Doctor’s look hardened.
“My god,” he said, examining her. “What have they done to you?”
He moved to her side, and Rose flinched away, halting him. Slowly he drew his hands back, one arm coming up to scratch the back of his neck. “You arms,” he said.
She followed his gaze, and found her arms covered in small bruises and lacerations. Her face burned, and she couldn’t look at him. A hundred times, no, a thousand, she’d imagined their reunion. And none of them had been like this. If this really was the Doctor, it would drive him mad, seeing her like this, and not being able to touch her, to comfort her.
She pulled her bottom lip between her teeth and dared to look at him again. He looked at her steadily, the concern evident in his face, but he kept his hands in his pockets.
“Why?” she said. “Why… why did they do this to me?”
There was another bang from somewhere on the Robuhanderclan’s ship, and Rose felt the floor vibrate.
The Doctor paced, speaking anxiously. “That’s what the Robuhanderclan do. They control a person’s sleep, their brainwaves; they plant suggestions, even dreams. All done with a single purpose in mind. To prey on a person’s worst fears, their nightmares. It’s… the worst sort of violation a person can endure. Eventually, it drives them mad. And when that happens, the Robuhanderclan kill them.”
Rose pressed a hand to her mouth. “Why would anything do that?” she said.
The Doctor stopped, sensitive to her distress. He opened his mouth soundlessly, and then closed it again, watching her. “Because they feed off it,” he finally said. “It’s how they live.”
“But… that’s terrible,” Rose said. “To… to do that to people-”
The first tears splashed over her cheeks, and she pulled the jacket closer to her neck and buried her face in her hands.
The Doctor was by her side in an instant. “The Robuhanderclan are only one sect in the hander family. Most are a peaceful lot, who live off rats or other lesser animals. They say the hander who fed off the flesh of humans were forever changed by it, and they became something new, something evil. But you, Rose Tyler, you beat them, you were too strong for them.”
He settled one hand down on her shoulder, and when she didn’t pull away, he sat down on the exam table next to her.
Rose slowly raised her head, wiping away the last of her tears. “Doctor?”
He gave an imperceptible nod. She launched herself forward, and he gathered her into a desperate hug, burying his nose in her hair.
“Oh, god, it’s really you,” she said. “I thought I was dreaming again.”
“Nah,” the Doctor said. “Said I’d come for you, didn’t I?”
“Said a lot of things,” Rose whispered against his shoulder. To show him she didn’t mean it, she squeezed him tighter. She wasn’t ever going to let go.
“Come on,” the Doctor said, loosening his grip. “Time to go. Get dressed.”
She gave an inelegant snort that could have passed for a laugh. “Of all the times I thought about you saying that to me-”
“Rose,” he took her face with both hands and pressed his thumb to her lip to shush her. “I mean it, we’ve got to get out of here. Once the Robuhanderclan realize they’ve been infiltrated, things will turn ugly.”
“But what about you?” Rose said. “Your job to stop it, yeah?”
Instead of answering, he leaned forward and pressed a gentle kiss to her lips, thumb smoothing under her cheek and dipping under her chin.
He pulled away and held her eyes for another second. “Come on.”
***
It felt like he might rip her arm right out of the socket.
God, it was just so him.
Rose couldn’t help but grin, scared and disoriented as she was. They crept down the hallway of the Robuhanderclan ship, the Doctor going first, the sonic screwdriver held out in front of him with his free hand.
“Oh, not good,” he muttered, stopping suddenly, and pushing her against the wall.
They waited, breathless. Rose tried not to squirm. It was just the Doctor. Just the Doctor she hadn’t seen for a fair number of years, who was currently pressing up against her in ways that were very distracting. They were running for their lives, for pity’s sake! And more than that, she’d just been tortured, brain tortured, in which the Doctor played several cameos.
She was supposed to need time to get over all of that. Not just… rush back into his arms like some sort of overeager tramp.
He looked down as if just noticing their positions. “Oh, hello.”
“Doctor,” she said, doing her best not to melt. “You could move now.”
“Hmm?” he said. “Coast might not be clear yet.”
“I think it’s clear,” Rose managed, swallowing hard.
He surveyed her for a moment, and then raised one eyebrow. “Seeing anyone?”
Blimey, that was casual, Rose thought.
“No,” Rose admitted. Seeing the triumph in his eyes, she backpedaled. “But I did! See… people. I wasn’t just waiting around for you or nothing.”
It seemed very important he should know that.
“Never imagined you would,” the Doctor said, grabbing her hand and yanking her forward again.
They ran.
***
Something inside her chest was going to swallow her whole and kill her. She stumbled, letting go of the Doctor’s hand and bending at the knees.
“I can’t…” she panted. “It hurts.”
They’d reached the Robuhanderclan control room. There was a large circular console in the middle, decorated with hundreds of tiny blinking lights. A little like a Christmas tree.
“The heart of the Robuhanderclan ship,” the Doctor murmured, stopping. He turned his attention to her, frowning when he noticed her distress. “What’s wrong?”
“I’ll be okay,” she said. “Just… bit winded, is all.”
The Doctor put one hand on her neck, just below her ear. “You’re burning up.”
“Wouldn’t think I’d be so exhausted,” Rose said. “Haven’t done anything but sleep the last few days, yeah? But I suppose my body’s still trying to recover… Doctor?”
He was looking at a point over her head. Very quietly, he said, “Rose, get behind me.”
“Wha-?” Rose said, but the Doctor took her by the shoulders and steered her behind him.
It was the Robuhanderclan. There were three of them, their mouths twisted up and convulsing silently and their wide, glassy eyes blinking at the Doctor and Rose. Their antennae began to shake, and then a horrible wailing noise emanated from their mouths.
“Cover your ears!” the Doctor hollered. “Don’t listen to them!”
Rose followed his instructions, clamping her hands to her ears and bending at the knees. She remembered now. Her team thought they had them beat, but then they started the wailing. Within seconds, Torchwood’s best had been reduced to unconscious lumps.
She glanced up at the Doctor worriedly, planning on warning him, but he seemed unaffected by the alien’s wailing. He shoved his hands in his pockets, and stood back, waiting.
The Robuhanderclan seemed taken aback. Their wailing dulled and then trailed off. They moved their mouths, and Rose expected to hear the strange clicking noise from earlier, but this time they spoke in English.
“You are not human.”
“No,” said the Doctor. “Time Lord. And that… makes this your unlucky day.”
“Time Lord,” they spat. “Your kind did this to us. Made us come here.”
No, not English, Rose realized. It was the TARDIS. The TARDIS was translating their language for her. She’d almost forgotten.
“And they were wrong to do so,” the Doctor said. “They should have killed you.”
There was a high pitch of screaming from all three Robuhanderclan, and Rose clamped her hands to her ears again, slumping heavily against the wall.
“You didn’t deserve another chance,” the Doctor said. He took the sonic screwdriver and aimed it at the ship’s heart. “See you in hell.”
After that, everything happened fast. The console shattered with a loud bang of light and sound, and the Robuhanderclan began wailing again-a different sort of wail this time, a wail of despair.
The Doctor grabbed Rose around the waist and urged her onwards. “What about Torchwood?” she yelled.
“They have their own way out, trust me,” he said. “Now, come on!”
She tried not to think. Just move. Just hold onto his hand and move.
This time she would make it.
***
The TARDIS was airy, bright, and smelled like home. There was still that odd step missing on her way up the stairs, and the slight dent in the wall just outside her room.
And staring into the mirror overhanging her old loo, Rose could almost believe she was still a girl that belonged here.
But there was something almost… ancient about her eyes. Mickey once told her, back when she was still traveling with the Doctor, that her eyes sparkled. Said she’d never looked more beautiful than when she was laughing at something the Doctor said.
Mickey.
Rose felt a rush of adoration for her friend, and she turned away from the mirror, resting her forearms on the sink and breathing heavily. It was hard to remember. All those things had been a dream. Her mum and dad were still alive-and she would do anything to keep it that way.
“You’ll need time, of course,” the Doctor said, nearly as soon as he’d declared she’d have no lasting injuries. “Need to rest… re-calibrate, I should say. You’ve been through quite the ordeal, Rose Tyler. I wouldn’t expect you to…” he trailed off. “Your room’s still here. Just up those stairs and to the left.”
“Same place,” Rose said. “Didn’t you… I mean, you must have had… others?”
The Doctor didn’t respond to that. Just stepped back from her with great effort. “Take all the time you need to recover. We won’t go anywhere. The TARDIS always needs some time in the vortex to recover after a big outing.”
He stroked one hand along the console, in the exact way Rose remembered him always doing.
She had to bite her lip to fight a giggle.
The Doctor looked up at her giggle, buoyed. “It’s good to have you back,” he said.
The words were so simple, it startled her. She nodded automatically, and backed away when he reached for her.
His hand hovered in mid-air, and then dropped to his side. He cleared his throat, joy slipping from his voice. “Go, rest,” he said, finally. “Take…”
“All the time I need,” Rose finished. “Doctor, this isn’t… the things they made me see, it’s not just something that I can take a band-aid to, yeah?”
“I’m sorry,” the Doctor said. “For whatever I might have said… done-”
“Wasn’t you,” Rose said, smiling reassuringly to show that she knew it. “And I knew that, Doctor, I knew. It’s just…”
She bowed her head, arms coming up to press against her ears. Her voice was barely intelligible. “It felt so real.”
She felt his hand on her shoulder, pulling her towards him, but she backed away, and stumbled back a few steps. “I’m just gonna go… rest up. I’ll see you later.”
Time. Such a strange concept, that. How much time did it take to recover from mental torture? From having the Doctor reject her, to watching her mum and dad die?
She figured she could spend a hundred-a thousand-years traveling around in a time machine and never find an answer to that.
She took a deep breath and splashed cold water on her face. Blinking back the water, she realized she knew one thing for sure.
She had the Doctor now-her real Doctor-and there was nothing that could make her happier than that.
It would be foolish to waste it on old fears and invisible wounds.
***
She found the Doctor in the console room, elbows propped up on the control panel, face staring speculatively at the TARDIS’s engine.
She didn’t think she’d ever seen him so still.
She cleared her throat, and he turned around to look at her. She watched the emotions play across his face-hope, joy at seeing her again, trepidation at not knowing what to say.
“Hi,” she whispered, feeling like her greeting was horribly inept. He looked so sad as he gazed at her, like he’d failed her in some way.
She swallowed and approached him. Quite suddenly, she had a memory of dancing across the console room floor, the Doctor dipping her low enough until her hair touched the floor.
“Guess I’m not dreaming, then,” Rose said. She shrugged one shoulder at his stare. “Only the real you could look at me like that.”
The Doctor dropped his gaze, giving a hint of a smile. “How are you feeling?”
“Fine,” Rose said automatically. And then she shook herself. “No, better than fine. Miles better than.”
“That’s… good,” the Doctor said, sounding like it was anything but. Mumbling to himself, he said, “She’s gone into shock. Blimey, never seen Rose go into-‘”
“Doctor,” she interrupted loudly. “Will you dance with me?”
He blinked a few times, obviously thrown by her abrupt change of subject. And then he pushed himself off the consol. “Think you can keep up?”
“Reckon I can hold my own,” Rose said, accepting his outstretched hands.
He pulled her in for a quick swing, and she laughed, meeting his eyes. “Not bad for an old chap, hmm?”
“Oh, please,” Rose said. “You’ve got the energy levels of a five-year-old.”
The Doctor pulled her in close suddenly, and she shrieked. “Thought you said you could keep up.”
“This before or after you get a cup of coffee?”
He spun her under one arm and then caught her again. “Oh, honestly. That was only that one time.”
”I had nightmares for weeks,” Rose said. She narrowed her eyes at the look on his face. “I did!”
He laughed, warm hands traveling down her back and unexpectedly pulling her closer. “Rose Tyler, I’d almost say you hadn’t changed at all.”
Rose decided to let that go.
“You did,” she said. “Changed your suit. It’s blue.”
His voice quieted. “You don’t like it?”
“Never said that,” Rose said. “Just… different, is all.”
“Well, I’ve still got the other one,” he said. “Could go put that on, if you’d prefer.”
“No,” Rose said quickly. “No, I don’t mind. Take you any way I can get you.”
They slowed to a sway, barely moving at all. But the TARDIS was firm under Rose’s feet. Steady.
She pushed her forehead to his and breathed in. “Why blue?”
“Oh, I don’t know,” he said, after a moment. “Seemed like the time to make a change.”
“How big a change?” Rose whispered.
The Doctor took a breath with great difficulty, and then he met her eyes. She knew he couldn’t put it into words. He’d always been rubbish when it came to telling her how he felt.
She wanted to tell him it was all right-she knew, but he cradled her closer and kissed her.
***
Rose had never felt so warm. She curled into impossibly soft sheets, one of the Doctor’s arms wrapped around her waist, his breath hot in her ear.
She closed her eyes, and let the moment stretch on. His chest against her back, warm palm against her stomach, soft butterfly kisses against her neck.
This-she thought-this was what it meant to be happy.
She turned around so she could kiss him again, a long kiss that turned into more of a sloppy face-sucking snog. She felt sixteen and stupid and giddy.
And then his arm moved from her waist to her hip, tracing the path of her side with his fingertips.
She shivered and buried deeper into the pillows.
He chuckled quietly, and then propped his head up on his arm behind her. When he finally spoke, his voice was deep.
“You’re not staying with me, are you?”
Rose didn’t turn around. She bunched the corner of the pillow up with one hand and clenched it in her fingers.
“Rose?” he prompted. He slid his arm around her waist again and nudged her to turn around and look at her.
She did, reluctantly. Staring into his eyes, she wanted so badly to change her mind. Her tongue flicked out to wet her lips. “I wish I could.”
Dismay clouded his eyes, and he pulled his hand back. “I see.”
“Doctor-”
“So that was-what?” the Doctor said, nodding down at her. “Out of pity?”
“What?” Rose said, blinking. She sat up, pulling the sheet up with her. “Of course not, you git! That’s what you do when the man you love pops in to save your life!”
The l-word seemed to get through to him, and he looked away. “I’m sorry.”
”No,” Rose said. “I should have told you earlier. First thing. I just… I wanted…”
“I know,” the Doctor said. “Me, too.”
They both smiled hesitantly, and then looked down at the sheet. Rose played with her fingers, and took a deep breath.
“How can I, Doctor?” she said. “How can I leave them again? They need me on this earth. They don’t have anyone. Today it was the Robuhanderclan. Tomorrow it could be worse. And they won’t have anyone to protect them.”
He touched her chin, and she bit her lip at the look of pride on his face. “I suppose… there’s not much I can say to that, is there?”
“You could stay here,” Rose said. “There’s demons in this universe too, Doctor. And I don’t know, maybe one day-maybe one day after I’m gone, you could… you could go back.”
He leaned forward and pressed a feather-light kiss to her forehead. “You know I can’t.”
Rose blinked back tears. “Why not?”
“It’s not right,” the Doctor said. “For a Time Lord to muck about in… there could be consequences.”
“It’s never simple, is it?” Rose said. She reached for his shoulders, arms linking behind his neck. “Think I’m getting it now, Doctor. There was never gonna be a happy ending for us.”
He opened his arms and pulled her into a tight hug, pressing his chin down on her head. Rose muffled a sniff against his neck.
“And you must have someone waiting for you, back there,” Rose whispered. “Someone who goes with that blue suit of yours.”
The Doctor didn’t answer and Rose knew she was right.
“You will go back for her, Doctor, won’t you?” Rose said. “Wherever you left her?”
The Doctor waited a moment before answering. “How do you know it’s a her?”
“‘Cause I know you,” Rose said.
He chuckled against her hair and it made her entire body vibrate. “Makes me sound a bit pervy, really.”
“Just a bit,” Rose agreed, smiling against his shoulder.
They traipsed into silence after that, and then the Doctor said, “Saying good-bye to you on that beach in Norway-not getting to tell you I loved you-it was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. Never really stopped regretting it.”
He pressed his nose to her hair, squeezing her tightly, and Rose drew in a shaky breath. “Doctor? I’m so glad you came to rescue me.”
She felt him smile. “Me, too.”
He pulled back and took her face between both hands, kissing her long and deep.
"How long have you got?" Rose whispered after he pulled away. "Before you've got to go back?"
She suspected the answer was somewhere in the realm of 'two days ago,' but the Doctor only said, "A few more hours shouldn't cause any sort of horrific disaster."
"A few hours," Rose said. "Well, I suppose that's better than two minutes."
The Doctor forced a chuckle, and mumbled something about wanting to make sure she didn't suffer any sort of long-term physical effects.
But there didn’t seem to be anything else left to say.
He hugged her tighter and they fell back on the bed, still entwined in each other’s arms. This, she knew, spending her last moments with the Doctor, this was the sort of dream she wished she could stay in forever.