Title: Disarray
Pairing: Stefan/Elena
Summary: Stefan and Elena, set directly post 2x09 ‘Katerina’
Excerpt: She’s tired and her eyes sting and her lips are chapped, but all she can think about is that she missed him so much.
Spoilers: S2 through to 2x09
Rating: PG
A/N: Okay so this barely cracked 700 words but it is the most fic I have written in months so I consider it a small victory.
She rinsed the tears off her face while Stefan disappeared downstairs to bring her back a mug of tea. But “I’m thirsty” had turned into “hug me” in the time it took for him to go down to the kitchen and back.
Now the mug of tea sits cooling and untouched on her bedside table. She has her face pressed into the crook of his shoulder, nose nuzzling against his neck. He doesn’t say anything; instead he strokes her hair, chin resting tightly on the top of her head.
She’s tired and her eyes sting and her lips are chapped, but all she can think about is that she missed him so much. It had seemed like a worthy sacrifice at the time-breakup with Stefan and keep her family safe. But now she knows there’s nothing she can control, nothing she can do to keep them safe.
She shifts slightly, raising her head from Stefan’s shoulder. From downstairs, she can hear Jeremy helping Jenna unload the dishwasher, the clang of china muffling the whisper of their voices.
She feels a pang and when she speaks, she’s careful not to look Stefan in the eyes. “I think I understand Katherine now,” she says slowly. “I know why she only ever looks out for herself.” She pauses and there’s a crack in her voice when she says, “Because it hurts too much to care.”
For the longest time it had been a mystery to her. How could this woman-this person who looked exactly like her in every way-how could she be so different? But now she knew. Katherine's fate had been marked, just like hers. The doppelganger.
Stefan’s fingers still in her hair and she senses him tense before he says, “Elena-”
“I’m not saying that I...” she props herself up on her elbow, staring down at him. His face is pale and solemn, but his eyes are gentle and she takes a deep breath before continuing. “I’m not saying I want to be like her, but... I understand now, Stefan. She was the doppelganger-she couldn’t control what was happening to her or what Klaus wanted to do with her. So instead she turned to looking out for herself. The only thing she had left.”
Stefan watches her for a moment and then reaches out to stroke her face, fingers curving behind her ear, thumb stroking her cheek. “She didn’t have to make that choice.”
You don’t have to make that choice, he’s really saying, staring at her intently.
She looks away. “I keep wondering-what happens when we can’t fight back? What choices will I have left?” her voice drops. “But how could I ever stop caring, even for one second?”
“Elena-” he shifts to his knees, sounding a little bit desperate now, and frames her face with both hands. “Listen to me, what happened isn’t your fault. Klaus being after you isn’t your fault. And you could never be Katherine.”
Elena swallows hard and then finds herself nodding. “Then what do we do?”
“We...” he sighs deeply, and then, like he realizes the inadequacy of his words, he says, “we fight back.”
“No,” Elena says suddenly, “we have to do better than that. We have to kill him.” She sits up straighter, voice hardening. “That’s what we have to do, Stefan. We have to kill Klaus.”
Their eyes meet and then Stefan inclines his head in agreement. A second later and she’s in his arms again, face buried in his shoulder with his chin pressed tightly to the top of her head.
She thinks about the unasked question hanging between them-what if I asked you to turn me into a vampire? What if that’s the only solution we have left?
But she isn’t sure either of them are ready for his answer.
“Stay the night?” she says instead.
He presses his forehead to hers and nods before kissing her once, twice, before pulling back and hugging her again.
She grips him tightly and for the first time, she really sees what her life would have been without him. All this time, a small part of her had blamed him for bringing all this bad stuff into her life-but that wasn’t true, was it? The bad stuff had always been there. But Stefan helped remind her why she kept fighting. And she would do anything to protect him, just like he would do for her.
There’s only one thing left to say.
“I love you, Stefan,” she whispers in his ear.
“I love you too,” he whispers back, sounding both grateful and intensively relieved.
It makes her smile and she closes her eyes. She listens as Jeremy and Jenna climb the stairs, heading towards their bedrooms. She breathes in and tells herself that they’re safe-for now everyone she cares about is safe. And it will be her job to keep it that way.