brb ~ crying my eyes out [OTA]

[mad_asahatter]

It hadn't taken very long for Ophelia to hear the news. And as much as her little damaged mind could process it, she wasn't all that happy. But she hadn't rightly been aware of how she should feel. Death wasn't as sad as people thought, because it was the end of so much, and the beginning of something new. At least that was how Ophelia felt

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[silverhypnosis]

*El had been heading up to the bathroom for a shower when she heard the sobbing. She knew something had occurred but she wasn't sure what exactly it was, but had been to worried of making things worse by questioning someone. The last thing she wanted was to walk up to one of the people crying and asking what was wrong when she didn't know them.
She knocked quietly on the door, hoping she wasn't being a nuisance.*

[mad_asahatter]

The door opened slightly when she knocked, and Ophelia looked up, eyes rimmed with smudged liner and face streaked. She wiped her hand across her cheek and sniffed back her tears. "Greetings a-and sal-salutations." Her words hiccuped slightly, her lip trembling while she tried to pull back the grief.

"Your face is new, not one she's seen. Come in, come in, how've you been?" She looked oddly pitiful, tear streaked and red eyed. But curiosity leaked through.

[silverhypnosis]

*A little startled, but not put off, by the rhymes, El entered the room, concerned by the tear stains on the woman's face. It was now certain that whatever had everyone so down was something very bad.*

I'm a little confused actually. I'd ask if you were okay, but its obvious your not. Is there anything I can get you?

[mad_asahatter]

Ophelia shook her head, a tight smile on her face as another little sob burst out. "Not needed, not needed. Just an experiment to see. What's been ended has ended. Trying to keep it from getting free."

Pulling back the coiled and magnified grief was a little difficult, and she didn't want any of it to seep out towards anyone, but keeping it all locked inside was a touch difficult.

[movetheearth]

With Martini off in his own little world and his catch up with Emma over and done with, Ric was still at an odd end. He didn't want to go wandering around the camp because everyone seemed so on edge after the death of Evan so instead he went in search of his "Princess" Ophelia.

Wandering into the girls dorm, he didn't care if he got reprimanded for being there, Ric paused at the sound of sniffling, crying and hiccups. It sounded remarkably like someone was upset which being a typical guy meant Ric felt a little uneasy. Dealing with a crying Emma was one thing because she was able to calm her own emotions but anyone else...
Heading towards the noise Ric poised outside Ophelia and Edie's room, lightly knocking his knuckles against the wooden door. It was open a fraction but he didn't want to barge in.

"Ophelia?"

[mad_asahatter]

She was curled under the covers, shivering and sniffling and sobbing. She didn't realise just how much of Emma and Esme's grief she'd taken, and she hadn't anywhere to send it, so things just looped around in her mind. Making her so much worse.

"Yes?" Her ruffled redhead pulled up from under the covers, peering at the door. For a moment she thought it was El coming back. But the empathic signature was so different. "It's open, it's open."

[movetheearth]

Pushing the door wide open Ric stuck his head in and immediately saw the ruffled red hair and cheeks streaked with makeup. Shutting the door quickly behind him with a loud click, Ric was sat on the edge of the bed within moments, hands tugging at the covers needing to see that she was alright.

"Pea! What's the matter? Who made you cry?" It was a nickname he'd not used since college, the sight of her so heart broken and upset bringing the memories of them back, from all that time ago. She used to retreat beneath her bedding even back then when she was upset.

[mad_asahatter]

She tugged back on the covers, because she was still upset, and she needed to be underneath. In her little cocoon and away from everything else. He made her a fort once, to hide inside when she got upset. She missed her fort.

"Trying to grieve, but don't know if it's right. Crying and sobbing, she's and awful sight. Hurts in her chest and burns her head. Should just make others better instead."

But she'd wanted to share in it, rather than take it from them. Because she'd been told, people needed to feel what they felt, regardless of how horrible it was.

[wolfsbane_rahne]

Rahne had been passing by when the noises she heard stopped her in her tracks. The wolf passed the information along as it being a potential pack member in pain. The wolf didn't like to see people in pain unless they deserved it, and Rahne's feelings coincided to the same. The door was ajar to the room she'd heard it coming from, scents of those she'd yet to meet wafting to her but Ophelia's scent was dominant along with the scent of salty tears.

Peering inside, the door opened a bit wider with a slight 'creak' and Rahne saw Ophelia there, wracked with grief and pain. It was like looking at herself in a strange way for a moment before she snapped back and Rahne found herself taking a seat on the bed next to Ophelia, a hand resting on her shoulder as she asked, "Ophelia, what happened?"

[mad_asahatter]

Ophelia pulled herself up out of the covers, sitting with them draped over her and looking at Rahne. "She took too much and it can't get out. It's making her sad and has to pout." The tears were streaked down her face, eyes red and puffy and her lips the same.

It felt to her that she'd been crying for hours. The way it all just spiralled around inside her like it was never ending. "She wants to stop, she's scared she'll pop. But nothing happens, it only just dampens."

Maybe she should've been more careful, but she hadn't really had any experiments in grief before. This time didn't seem too successful.

[wolfsbane_rahne]

Rahne seemed to understand, but still felt bad for poor Ophelia. "Who's grief? What happened?"
She still hadn't heard the news of the death on the team and had to wonder how the poor woman could have been plunged into something so deep so fast.

[mad_asahatter]

She sniffled and wiped her eyes, pulling her sheets around her tighter. "Horror got shot, an unlucky plot. Demon cried hard, Frosty got mad. It's all out of control. It's inside on a roll." Her words lacked her melodic rhymes of usual. Stilted and unsure, as if she was putting effort into them, making them sound forced.

She fought back a few more sniffles, but turned to Rahne with a tear streaked face. "She's losing what she had, it's like being mad."

[createdevidence]

It was the smell of tears that caught Nicky's attention. He knew what it was like to cry alone and no matter who it was the boy wanted to make it better for someone else. He knocked on the door softly but still loud enough to be heard waiting to see if anyone would answer. Normally his nose would have sniffed out who it was but the smell of the tears filled his senses.

[mad_asahatter]

Ophelia was a lump under the covers, her head sticking out the other end while she sobbed and stared at the wall. Her body was starting to ache from the crying, her head sore from it all. She just didn't know how to stop it.

[createdevidence]

He knew it was a little risky but Nicky poked his head in anyway. He saw Ophelia there sobbing and he wasn't sure what to do. Nicky made his way over to her sitting gently on the edge of the bed his hand going toward her back to try and comfort her.

[mad_asahatter]

She smiled slightly as Nicky's concern touched her mind, wrapping around the grief slightly. She edged around to face him, but not stopping the hand from reaching out. "She's okay, little cub, it's all right. Didn't mean to give you a nasty fright."

[empathetic_ass]

It was like a punch in the gut. Any empath could sense that kind of emotion and Manuel was reeling with it. He could feel the loss keenly in the compound. Something had clearly happened, even if he didn't know what, but the agony that spiraled within this one single being was crushing.

He followed the feelings to the girl's dorms and as he walked he tried to tamp it down, control it. It was certainly a test of his control and he stared at the door in half-concern, half-irritation.

"What's the matter, chica?" he rasped, knocking on the door slightly.

[mad_asahatter]

It almost stopped swirling, a mix of curiosity and concern seeping in. Ophelia turned her head towards her visitor and watched him. Something was different. Something was changing.

"It all inside, and she can't let go. What to do, she just doesn't know. Can't hurt others, that's not nice. But she thinks her mind will end up like ice." She rubbed her temples, just as another sob broke out and Ophelia almost descended into hysterics again.

She hadn't thought it out, she'd just wanted to see what the grief was like, she'd never touched it like this before. Never really experienced it like this. She just didn't know how to let go.

[empathetic_ass]

Manuel reached out to the door and placed his hand on it, feeling the hysterics as they descended upon her again. With a soft growl, he worked on tamping that down, taming it. He softened the edges as much as he could, trying to wear it down to a manageable type of grief.

One that she could still feel, but that wouldn't disturb him. That's all he was terribly concerned about.

[mad_asahatter]

"Don't change it, don't stop it! She needs it to feel. Spiral and spiral, it needs to stay real." Ophelia didn't like tame. Tame felt wrong and repressed. Chaotic and flowing, that's what she wanted, strong and intense and constantly shifting.

She didn't like the organised things of a compartmentalised mind, too many walls and rules and control; it wasn't natural, it wasn't real. And Ophelia craved real. "Don't tamper, don't tame. Leave it be, keep it the same. It hurts and burns, but still there is seems. Alive and still real, that's all it means."