For Whom The Duck Quacks
A Team Adhesive Ducks Production*
How Can We Be Lovers If We Can't Be Friends: An Introspective on the Penny and Sheldon Friendship
How can we be lovers if we can't be friends
How can we start over when the fighting never ends
Baby, how can we make love if we can't make amends
Tell me how we can be lovers if we can't be,
can't be friends
Michael Bolton
The relationship between Sheldon and Penny, whether romantic or not, is a complicated weave of two clashing personalities thrown together due to circumstance. That being said, I would argue that after three seasons Penny and Sheldon’s relationship has developed into something epic. Could there be room for something more? Of course Sheldon and Penny could not get together right away; a romantic relationship like this would need a long, slow build up to get the both of them to a believable point, but much of the foundation has been laid, unwittingly or not, these past few seasons.
Their chemistry is the best of any two people on the show. Kaley Cuoco and Jim Parsons have firecracker moments in every scene they're in together. All in all they have a truly unique relationship. Regardless of whether it's romantic or platonic.
Let’s look at the evidence.
While Season One acts as the establishing point of Sheldon and Penny’s relationship, Season Two is where I believe we really see things kick off and consolidate into one of the strongest and fascinating relationships on the show. There are so many episodes that spring to mind, but an episode that stands out for me is "The Bath Item Gift Hypothesis." This is a favorite of mine because it shows that Sheldon is capable of emotional expression and growth. He hugs Penny, a scene that is so squee-worthy I almost broke my face from smiling so hard. "The Work Song Nanocluster" and "The Vegas Renormalization" are also great examples of how truly unique the Sheldon and Penny relationship really is. "The Work Song Nanocluster" demonstrates that Sheldon and Penny can indeed work together without heads rolling, and “The Vegas Renormalization" has Penny taking care of Sheldon and singing "Soft Kitty." All of these episodes are fantastic examples of how Sheldon and Penny have built a truly amazing relationship together. Not only does Penny convince Sheldon to do "drugs," but Sheldon sleeps over and soon has a much better understanding of the term "friends with benefits."
Season Three only proves to consolidate this unique relationship even more. This is the season where many argue that Penny and Sheldon even start becoming closer friends than Leonard and Sheldon. Take "The Electric Can Opener Fluctuation," for example. Penny actually cares that Sheldon is upset and tries to comfort him, whereas Leonard seems only to care about getting in Penny's pants. There are several episodes in Season Three that show the strengthening relationship between these two, and how Sheldon and Penny are willing to go the extra mile to help each other out. Not only that, but these episodes all have seriously cute moments that make your teeth rot but your heart smile. In particular, think back to Penny comparing Sheldon to WALL-E and singing “Soft Kitty” in a round, Sheldon hugging Penny again when she agrees to let him go see the Hadron Collider, and Sheldon and Penny sharing dinner together because he still wants them to be friends. All of these moments are filled with too much sweetness and chemistry to ignore. Season three makes it official, Sheldon and Penny = epic.
Will it ever turn into something more? That remains to be seen. As an Sheldon/Penny shipper, of course I would love to see it become canon, but considering this is Chuck Lorre and Bill Prady we’re talking about, they would probably butcher it.
My point is that not only do Parsons and Cuoco light up in their scenes together, but Sheldon and Penny as characters always challenge each other while simultaneously having the sweetest moments of the show. I think their fascination with each other, and what I think is an unspoken but clear affection for each other, transcend any differences they may have.
The Female of the Species: Sheldon and Sexuality
A thousand thundering thrills await me
Facing insurmountable odds gratefully
The female of the species is more deadly than the male
Shock shock horror horror
Shock shock horror
I'll shout myself hoarse for your supernatural force
The female of the species is more deadly than the male
Space
Since the first season, fans have been debating about whether or not Sheldon is asexual.
There's plenty of evidence to support that he is, indeed, asexual. Never on the show has Sheldon ever demonstrated any interest in pursuing a romantic interest with a woman or a man. In "The Cooper-Nowitski Theorem," Penny has the following conversation with Leonard and Howard about Sheldon's sexuality, or lack thereof.
Penny (in hallway): Okay, you guys, look, I know this is none of my business, but I just, I have to ask, what’s Sheldon’s deal?
Leonard: What do you mean “deal”?
Penny: You know, like what’s his deal? Is it girls? Guys? Sock puppets?
Leonard: Honestly, we’ve been operating under the assumption that he has no deal.
Penny: Come on, everybody has a deal.
Howard: Not Sheldon. Over the years, we’ve formulated many theories about how he might reproduce. I’m an advocate of mitosis.
A number of different people have expressed interest in Sheldon. In "The Grasshopper Experiment," Raj's date, Lalita, is captivated by Sheldon's quirky charm. Sheldon unwittingly picks up a man in "The Barbarian Sublimation." And then there's the case of Ramona Nowitski, who not only wants to become Sheldon's lackey and research partner, but to be his girlfriend.
In each of the situations described above, Sheldon seems completely oblivious that the other person is romantically/sexually interested in him. When he does discover it, he appears to be baffled and uninterested. Consider Sheldon's attitude about Lalita:
Leonard: Hold on. What happened with you and Lalita?
Sheldon: We ate. She lectured me on the link between gum disease and heart attacks, nothing I didn’t already know, and I came home.
Leonard: So you’re not going to see her again?
Sheldon: Why would I see her again? I already have a dentist.
It's interesting to note that Sheldon was portrayed quite differently in the aired pilot of The Big Bang Theory. He's shown to be a sexual person (at least in a solo sense) in the scene with Leonard, where they are considering donating to a sperm bank.
Sheldon: Leonard, I don’t think I can do this.
Leonard: What, are you kidding? You’re a semi-pro.
The pilot episode also portrays a rather flirty Sheldon in his first scene with Penny. He even describes Penny as "beautiful" at one point. However, we don't ever see this side of Sheldon again.
Interestingly, the unaired pilot for the show features a Sheldon who is even more sexual than the aired pilot, or any episode after. He mentions several times that he's an "ass man" and it's mentioned that he and Gilda had sex at a Star Trek convention. However, it's clear that the writers decided to completely overhaul his character before the pilot that actually made it to the airwaves.
So, what to make of Sheldon? Despite my Sheldon/Penny shipping tendencies, I believe that there's plenty of evidence to determine that Sheldon is indeed asexual. However, I also argue that instead of being asexual, Sheldon could simply be "delayed" in his sexuality.
Sheldon did not grow up like most other men. At age eleven, when other guys were playing baseball and maybe starting to sneak peeks at their fathers' copies of Playboy, Sheldon left grade school and started college. He never had a "normal" adolescence that included dating. His life was completely devoted to academic and intellectual pursuits.
Sheldon is also very rigid. He hates any change in his life and routine. It's entirely possible that Sheldon hasn't developed much of an interest in sex and romance because it would be too upsetting to the routine of his life and would be a distraction from his goal of winning a Nobel Prize in physics.
It's hard to determine just what Sheldon is, in terms of his sexuality. We can speculate all we want (and we certainly do) but this issue is definitely in the hands of the show's writers. It'll be interesting to see what happens in the next season with Sheldon and Amy, the young women he ends up on a date with in the season finale. While I think than an asexual Sheldon definitely makes sense, I also hold out hope that some sort of tentative, fumbling relationship develops between these two brilliant, socially stunted people.
What do you think? In your mind, is Sheldon asexual or sexual? Why do you feel that way?
Let Your Hair Down: Penny and Female Friendship
Girl, put your records on, tell me your favorite song
You go ahead, let your hair down
Sapphire and faded jeans, I hope you get your dreams,
Just go ahead, let your hair down.
You're gonna find yourself somewhere, somehow.
Corrine Bailey Rae
Most of the women I know will unabashedly state that they derive great strength and comfort from their female friendships, especially during times of struggle and hardship. I don't know what I'd do without my girlfriends. Over dinner, coffee, wine, we talk about our hopes, our fears, and our dreams. Sometimes we discuss our partners and spouses and sometimes we pass the Bechdel Test and don't mention them at all because we're too busy raging about politics and recommending new books we've read.
One thing about Penny that has always struck me on The Big Bang Theory, even more than the fact that she still doesn't have a last name, is how few female friends she seems to have. True, there are some women out there who prefer male friends to the exclusion of women friends, but Penny doesn't strike me as one of them. From time to time, she's been seen in the company of nameless friends, but they're always portrayed on the show by extras that we never see again. I suspect that the fleeting appearance of Penny's friends isn't because the writers consider them to be temporary relationships, but that the writers think of Penny's friendships as not being something that's worth focusing screen time on.
I was almost heartbroken for Penny during "The Barbarian Sublimation," when she was locked out of her apartment and crying in the hallway about the failure of her acting career and love life. She needed a best friend then more than anything, a girlfriend who could whisk Penny off to her place for tea and sympathy.
I was briefly delighted when it seemed as if Penny and Bernadette had struck up a friendship. Finally, a real friend for Penny! One who not only understood the geekiness of the guys but also could get into girlie stuff with Penny. I imagined hilariously drunken, margarita-fueled conversations about the pitfalls of dating nerds and obnoxious customers at the restaurant. Alas, that great friendship never came to pass once Howard and Bernadette broke up. It's likely we'll never see Bernadette onscreen again.
Because Penny doesn't have a good onscreen friend, we really only get to see her through the gaze of the male characters on the show. Leonard is in love with her. Howard wants to get into her pants. Sheldon is frequently annoyed by Penny (although he seems to increasingly value her friendship). Raj is physically unable to speak to her. We rarely, if ever, get to see Penny doing her own thing, outside of the orbit of the four male main characters.
The friendship between Penny and the four guys seems unbalanced. The boys rarely seem to acknowledge her intelligence because it's oriented so differently from their own. Her intellect is not easily quantified with intelligence testing and university degrees. Penny's intelligence is comprised of common sense and emotional maturity, stereotypically "female" intelligence versus the "male" intelligence of the guys. This group friendship is also almost entirely centered around the interests and passions of the guys. It's fun to see Penny embrace her inner geek, but when was the last time we saw the five of them doing something because it's one of Penny's interests?
My hopes for the fourth season of the show are quite modest. They rest very little on a Penny/Sheldon romance. I've set my sights a whole lot lower. I'd like for her to have a last name. Maybe a tiny bit of acting success. But more than anything else, I'd like to see her have a best friend. She deserves one.
Short People Have No Reason to Live: The Trials and Tribulations of Dr. Leonard Hofstadter
Well, I don't want no short people
Don't want no short people
Don't want no short people
`Round here
Short people got nobody
Short people got nobody
Short people got nobody
To love
Randy Newman
Leonard Hofstadter is one of the most hated characters in Big Bang Theory fandom. People seem to love to hate him, with this dislike for his character peaking in the third season, when he was involved in a relationship with Penny. Why? Why do people seem content to just look at this complex character at just a surface level? I believe that if one were to delve more deeply into Leonard's life, especially his childhood, the hatred wouldn't be so prevalent in the fandom.
Leonard, out of all the main characters, probably had the worst childhood. Not only was he constantly overshadowed by his two siblings, but he clearly states how deprived of affection he truly was growing up. He never had a birthday celebration, and worst of all, he was deprived of physical affection, as evidenced by the hugging machine he invented.
Just how much effect would this have on a child growing up in such an environment? The research of the psychologist Harry Harlow shows that this is detrimental to a child. Studying the effects of depriving baby monkeys of motherly affection, Harlow was able to demonstrate that lack of affection has severe effects on the young monkeys. He used two surrogate mothers, one made of wire (cold and unloving) and one made of terrycloth (warm and soft). He saw that the monkeys that were only had contact with the wire mother suffered more psychological stress than the monkeys that had the terry mothers. Harlow was able to show just how much a person's psyche depends on the nurturing and affection from one's mother during childhood.
If an affection-deprived childhood can have such a detrimental effect on a person, wouldn't it be safe to posit that most of Leonard's screwed-up behavior (especially around his romantic relationships) can be explained by his problematic childhood?
Take for example Leonard's failed relationship with Penny. It has been stated on the show many times that Leonard never really had a girlfriend before her. If you add his troubled childhood to this, it's unclear why anyone would think that Leonard would make a good boyfriend at this point. Some fans seemed to be upset over his willingness to change himself and do anything to get Penny. As a man chronically deprived of affection, he would be desperate to be accepted and loved. This doesn't show a weak-willed man, it shows one who simply doesn't have to tools to deal with human interaction. He doesn't know how to deal with someone liking Leonard for Leonard, because that very likely never happened to him before leaving home. He grew up in a family where the meager amount of approval he did receive was for high achievement, not for his intrinsically good qualities.
Perhaps Leonard's inability to give or accept affection properly will be explored more in the show, or perhaps the writers will simply hand-wave these elements of his personality as if they are nothing but throw-away jokes. I, for one, will always want to give him a real hug, which is much better than anything from a hug machine.
Is It In Your Jeans… I Don’t Know: A Character Study of Howard
Just tell me what you've got to say to me
I've been waiting for so long to hear the truth
White Town
Meet Howard Wolowitz - a stereotypical nerd with a “God’s Gift to Women” complex.
His philosophy on women and dating is simple and direct - ask enough women and one of them will eventually say yes.
Peel away those layers of loud t-shirts, dickies and tight jeans, and you’re left with a horny young man with a desire to get laid. But peel away a few more layers and you’ll discover another facet of his personality: his desire to be accepted by those around him; his insecurity with women; his dismissal from his friends because of his profession; and his complicated relationship with his mother.
For the purposes of this challenge, we’ll focus on Howard’s relationship with his mother. The only appearances of his mother in canon imply, although humorously, that he resents his mother. Scenes at Howard’s mother’s often involve yelling. In fact, Howard has yet to be shown getting along with his mother. However, Howard chooses to live with her. He’s nearing his thirties now and has been employed steadily at CalTech; therefore, he could afford to move out of his mother’s.
Why does Howard choose to live with his mother? Three possibilities come immediately to mind: perhaps his Jewish heritage fosters a sense of duty; perhaps his father’s abandonment makes him feel obligated to do what his father couldn’t; perhaps his mother’s health problems require him to look after her.
Women and mothers are valued in Judaism. Although Howard’s Jewish upbringing appears to be more family tradition than faith, it is entirely plausible that his responsibilities to his mother were imparted upon him early and often in his childhood.
Likewise, canon indicates that Howard’s father abandoned the family when Howard was quite young. It isn’t uncommon for boys in his situation to develop a belief that they must fill the role left by their fathers. If Howard felt that it was his responsibility to look after his mother, to provide for her and take care of her, he wouldn’t feel comfortable leaving her alone in the house. No matter how often he fights with her, she’s still his mother; perhap he doesn’t like the idea of her being alone.
In “The Bad Fish Paradigm”, it is mentioned that Howard’s mother takes Valium. This drug is prescribed to reduce anxiety, muscle spasms, and seizures. It’s possible that whatever she takes the prescription for leaves her unable live alone. If this is the case, then we must wonder why Howard chooses to live at home with her rather than finding in-home care for her. It’s possible then that Howard’s choice to continue living with his mother has multiple motives.
Whatever Howard’s reasons, it’s clear that he chooses to remain in her home. He has the ability to live elsewhere, but he chooses to stay with his mother. Rather than a sign of weakness, this might reveal a deeper, more genuine side of Howard. He might place great effort into attracting women, so much so that it comes across as the only aspect of his personality, but beneath the surface, Howard seems to care for his mother. Perhaps there is much more to Howard Wolowitz than what meets the eye.
Silence is Easy: Raj and Selective Mutism
Everybody says that I'm looking for a home now,
Looking for a boy or I'm looking for a girl now,
I can still let it go, I can still learn to grow,
Into a child again.
Silence is easy, it just becomes me,
You don't even know me, why lie about me.
Starsailor
Raj's social anxiety around women makes him mute around attractive females, but despite his pathology, Raj has often ended up in bed with women. Selective mutism aside, his strength at being a 'good listener' makes him more appealing towards women. He has a tendency to say what others won't. Alcohol makes him abrasive and egotistical. He has no qualms about telling people what he thinks of them when drunk. Raj primary role during the first two seasons, his relationships with others, is mostly as a silent observer. Especially when Penny starts becoming a permanent fixture in the group. It's only in later in the third season that we get more of an insight on Raj's background and personality as well as more development in his interactions as a whole.
Let's examine his behavior with the primary female character and the show, as well as with women in general.
Penny
Raj automatically averts his eyes when he first meets Penny in 1.01 "Pilot", as she enters the scene with a towel. He rarely can be seen looking her head-on. Those rare instances are when he is under the influence. Penny seems to get a kick out of talking to Raj while he looks terrified at trying to answer her questions and bewildered when she does. Due to his inability to speak in front of women, he seems to have an innate female radar and is the first to notice when Penny leaves or when she arrives. In 1.02 "The Big Bran Hypothesis", Raj can be seen as Penny's sounding board when she can't talk to Sheldon or Leonard. She effectively corners him and gets him to listen. Though, he takes full advantage of the physical contact she gives him. He finds her overly chatty and zones out when she talks to him. This could be part of his mutism in how he escapes inwards to not deal with the situation. Then again, he is a guy. Taking full advantage of Penny hugging him. Like the rest of the guys, he hasn't had that many interactions with the opposite sex. Despite being in his late twenties, he has as much control over his reactions as a teenager. I find it sad that Penny forgets that Raj is there. It's only in 1.08 "The Grasshopper Experiment" that he finally talks to Penny, which sheds light on his newly discovered alcohol fueled personality. In 2.04 "The Griffin Equivalency", interact further as she is his date to People's "30 to Watch Under 30". After being impossibly arrogant on their date, Raj attempts to apologize to Penny. So far, she is the only female outside his family that he overcame his selective mutism for.
Women at Large.
We're all aware of Raj's pathology--that he's physically unable to speak around women. However, of all the guys on The Big Bang Theory, Raj seems to have had the most one-night stands. In 1.06 "The Middle Earth Paradigm", Raj managed to hook up with a girl at Penny's Halloween party while both Howard and Leonard struck out. This is again seen in 1.16 "The Peanut Reaction" as he is seen as being the life of the party with a girl around his neck and 2.20 "The Hofstader Isotope"where Raj wakes up to yet another one night stand. Though it would seem that Raj hasn't had a lasting romantic relationship, in the past or presently on the show, it would be interesting to see an ex-girlfriend of his show up and be able to see their dynamic. In 1.08 "The Grasshopper Experiment", the one date we've ever seen Raj on was arranged by his parents. Under the influence of alcohol, he becomes possessive, egotistical and sexist. Alcohol makes Raj obnoxious. It's interesting that Raj seems to need to continuously drink to be able to talk to women at all. It would be interesting to see how Raj might behave if he were only slightly intoxicated around women, not falling-down drunk. He wasn't very obnoxious when he talked to Summer Glau on the train in 2.17 "The Terminator Decoupling". He wasn't drunk on that occasion, he only believed he was drunk. Out of the whole group of guys, it would seem that Raj might be the most able to succeed in a stable and healthy relationship. If he can overcome his mutism, that is. When Raj was taking an experimental drug to treat his anxiety disorder in 1.15 "The Pork Chop Indeterminacy", he was able to be rather flirty and smooth with women. It's a shame it wore off.
What does this personality trait tell us about Raj? What does his progress so far suggest for this story on the show in coming seasons?
A Walking Contradiction: Meet Barry Kripke
But I believe I'm a walking contradiction
And I ain't got no rights.
Green Day
The introduction of secondary characters in sitcoms like The Big Bang Theory is to provide the core characters additional people to interact with. They can be a parent, a love interest, or (in this instance) a rival. We are blessed in a program like The Big Bang Theory that these characters are more than just one-offs. We can see the core group interact with these characters in many different scenarios - and learn just as much about the core group as the secondary character.
Season Two marked the introduction of Barry Kripke to the program. Barry is a fellow scientist at Caltech and is presented as a foil for Sheldon. Over the course of the past two seasons, we see Barry and Sheldon create a beautiful rivalry - something that is in its own sick and twisted way a real relationship for the pair.
From Barry’s interactions with Sheldon and his friends we learn some important facts about him:
1) Barry speaks with an R/L to W speech impediment. (ie: railroad crossing would be pronounced wailwoad cwossing);
2) Barry has some interesting hobbies - rock climbing; kayaking; undisclosed water-based activities; robot building and fighting; practical jokes; ventriloquism; etc.;
3) Barry works in Caltech’s plasma physics department
And the most amazing thing about Barry - he is extremely confident in his abilities with women.
In short - Barry is a walking contraction.
We can clearly see this as we look at the overall presentation of Barry’s character.
He chooses to work in a field that is clearly off-putting to women (sciences), and yet thinks of himself as a ladies man.
Many women undoubtedly find his speech impediment to be unattractive, yet he thinks of himself as desirable to women (specifically Penny, where-in he blatantly hits on her but isn’t implicitly denied nor given approval either).
And finally, his interest in the outdoors would seem to give him “normal guy” persona, though he also enjoys ventriloquism and building robots. Barry clearly has one foot in normalcy and the other in the geeky.
So I ask you, dear reader, the following question - Who is Barry Kripke?
EXTENSION: This challenge will close now on Sunday at 3PM EST/ 2PM CST/ 12PM PST / 7 PM GMT!
*No ducks were harmed in the production of this meta.