Comments | tealsilver: the one night stand that won't leave.

tealsilver

the one night stand that won't leave.

Mar 08, 2009 13:56

Wrote this in a creative impulse. Took me about ten minutes, give or take the moments where I stopped and paused to figure out where the hell I was going with this.

Enjoy~ (LJ cut just hates me right now, it just won't work. HELP?)

I love you.

don't bother flying without those wings;
dear, you'll break a lot more
than my heart.

you'd fall and crash,
( Read more... )

write, fiction, poetry

Comments 3

shinelikethesky March 8 2009, 06:02:50 UTC

dawn breaks and you fly.

my heart's still with you,
tucked in your back pocket;
like an after thought.

I like this part. :) I imagined a heart tucked into a back pocket, fluttering dangerously in the wind, like it could go any second...

elliebear128 March 24 2009, 05:14:15 UTC

That took you ten minutes? Wow. I really, really loved it. The imagery through the purposefully chosen words say just enough but isn't once too much or overbearing. Love the details you chose to add in, especially the cigarette ashes, is unexpected because it's not something that's typically pretty yet you were able to make it sound beautiful because it feels so personal. The ending, I love you too. lies. is perfect. absolutely perfect, especially the special attention to the font size to really adds to the effect. I am memming this.

tealsilver March 24 2009, 10:25:12 UTC

That's so sweet, THANK YOU!

Linh, I believe we are going to have a beautiful friendship (it's nice, having friends both on and off the net :D) BLOHYUK BROUGHT US TOGETHER, plus the fact that you are an AMAZING writer. :D

Ten minutes, haha. Things like these just strike out of nowhere. I mean, I was just listening to some songs and then suddenly I just got the urge to write this, all about unrequited love and the results of loving too much.

Really, thanks for reading, it's much appreciated new friend! By the way, name's Dana. :D