Journals.
July 14, 1919
Journée de la Bastille. We are leaving for America in two days. I had originally planned for us to be in Paris for the celebrations, but have decided against it. I -- I have learned how to appreciate my own selfishness, of our time together. I have also been giving some thought to the Nightside. Would we have approached each other if it hadn't been for that first separation? I know myself well enough to think that I would be still hiding myself from him. Perhaps Edward wouldn't have allowed it to continue. I am happy I did not have to wait so long to find out.
I still haven't bought Edward a piano, but every public one we pass I think about him playing. He indulges me when we have time.
I can't stop thinking he is my reward. That doesn't encompass a tenth of what it should.
C. C.
July 19, 1919
It has been damnably sunny; I haven't seen the deck since we left port. This is not overly traumatizing by any means. Edward and I have found alternate means of distraction in the meantime. ---
Your distraction is tired of this distracting him.
If you'll excuse me.
C. C.
July 20, 1919
Finally decent weather to venture out in the daytime. Even Edward had been getting a little restless.
I know these entries have been short lately. I have no explanation beyond...my life can no longer be entirely encompassed on paper. It's no longer theoretical.
I'm going for a walk.
C. C.