Comments | teaberryblue: My Letter to Senator Grisanti

teaberryblue

My Letter to Senator Grisanti

Jun 16, 2011 14:42

For those of you who are unaware (perhaps you live in another state), the NYS Assembly passed a Marriage Equality bill for the FOURTH time. The Senate keeps voting it down. It's incredibly distressing and demoralizing. Anyway, this time, it looks like the vote will be very close, and potentially hinge on one Senator, Senator Mark Grisanti. Here ( Read more... )

politics, political activism, glbt, letters

Comments 12

trouserminnow June 16 2011, 18:56:18 UTC

i do not have the same experiences, but what you wrote is beautiful. i do have solidarity on the matter at hand because i'm not an idiot, for the record.

teaberryblue June 16 2011, 19:01:04 UTC

Wait, you're not? :-P

<3 thanks, it means a lot to me.

trouserminnow June 16 2011, 19:14:37 UTC

It's such an obvious thing to me, and except in the occasion that I desire companionship with someone, I couldn't care less who anyone pairs off with. I know I ended a sentence with a preposition.

I don't think people often get the joke I make when I say "it's the 90's right?" It's really all about this sentiment I have, that is, c'mon man, didn't we get over this horseshit a decade ago? Whether it's accepting credit cards or who gets married to whom, or not drinking terrible cocktails, I don't care. It's all something that we should only be seeing in the rearview mirror, if we deign to look at it at all.

I was just caught up dreaming further rants on these matters, but I think it healthier to go back to listening to this Jane's Addiction album. The real point here is that what you wrote was beautiful and touched me. Props.

teaberryblue June 16 2011, 19:26:36 UTC

Right, precisely, and if you're talking about a person who prefers the gender that you are not, it doesn't much matter HOW much you care about whom they pair off with, because they're not going to turn around and be interested in you anyway.

And yeah. I feel incredibly outraged that I live where I live when I live here and this is still an issue. I will also write to my senators about this drinking terrible cocktails bill.

Believe me, I have a lot more rants on the matter, too. But thank you once again. It was really, really hard to write (especially at work on my lunch hour, trying not to tear up), so it's a wonderful thing to hear.

thaliontholwen June 16 2011, 19:14:30 UTC

I hope you all in New York can get that bill passed. It gives those of us in other states with bans already on the books hope that we can get them overturned every time another state passes theirs.

teaberryblue June 16 2011, 19:27:41 UTC

It is a travesty that it is not passed here yet.

More importantly, we need to get rid of DOMA, so that states that practice marriage equality can allow their same-sex couples to actually BE equals. I found out recently that if a same-sex couple gets married in a state that permits same-sex marriages, and one of them is not a citizen, just the act of getting married could get their green card or visa revoked on account of DOMA. That one really pisses me off.

liret June 16 2011, 20:44:33 UTC

This is an excellent letter. <3

My new favorite NYS politician is Roy McDonald, the republican whose public statement after he supported the bill was "Fuck it, I don't care what you think. I'm trying to do the right thing."

teaberryblue June 16 2011, 20:53:41 UTC

I agree. He is awesome.

kalliona June 16 2011, 21:46:53 UTC

Thank you for sending this letter, and for sharing it. I think it is really powerful. You share what it was like to go through things most people experience, that most people can relate to, but with the feeling that what you were experiencing was somehow abnormal. A person who can imagine, even just a little, how awful that must be should understand how wrong and harmful it is to discriminate against people because of who they love.

teaberryblue June 16 2011, 22:16:59 UTC

I just remember being really scared that something was wrong with me. I knew one gay couple, and I didn't actually know any gay women who were out. I knew what lesbians were, but they were something you saw on TV, and something people made jokes about, not something ordinary people were supposed to be.

I just think that anyone with children who would vote against same-sex marriage is practicing very little foresight, or thinks the way I did when I was a kid-- that being gay is something for other people. That no one you really know is gay, that your loved ones can't possibly be gay. That you couldn't possibly be preventing your own child from celebrating their wedding someday.

kalliona June 17 2011, 12:36:59 UTC

Your point about people with children is excellent. I think "Don't you want to go to your son or daughter's wedding?" is a good argument because it appeals to people who care about family and tradition and might worry that if their child were gay, they would be excluded from this. And of course the answer is, no, not if we give everyone equal rights to marry and have a family if they choose.

I definitely thought being gay was for other people as a kid. I thought I didn't know any gay people. This was not the case, and I have no idea why my mother didn't explain to me that "Aunt Joan and her roommate Ann" were really a couple until I was a teenager; we visited them pretty frequently and it would have helped a lot in countering the influence of my friends who had learned to be homophobic from their parents.

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teaberryblue June 17 2011, 02:38:15 UTC

Thanks. I just...it's New York. I like to think that New York can do this, because, well, I'm a New Yorker and we're arrogant like this. I suppose I can get married in CT if it comes to that. I am feeling like even if I end up with a guy, I will only get married in a state that allows same-sex marriage. Because that is a little way to show my support.

I have a cousin who got away with murder because of the denial. Or, you know, by murder, I mean she got to make out with her girlfriend all. the. time.