Day 24 - Love Isn't Love (Until it's Given Away) - P/E/N - R
Title: Love Isn't Love (until it's given away)
Author:
turtlebaby_02
Fandom: White Collar
Written For:
mmom 2014
Characters (Pairings): P/E/N
Rating: R
Word Count: 1975
Warnings: Unbeta'd
Disclaimer: Nope, not mine. I'm just playing.
Summary: When a strange new loveborne illness strikes, Peter and El do their best to remind Neal of something.Author's Notes: This was my original day 13 that I shelved because it got too long. I reigned it in a little (this had potential to explode into something else entirely, wut.) And kept it below 2000 words. When I started I was aiming for crack (and hey, it still is - mostly) but then it got away from me and I wound up with cracky angst? How does that keep happening to me? ...
Elizabeth caught it from a little old man, a client who'd pecked her on the cheek in thanks for her work at his granddaughters birthday party. Elizabeth passed it to Peter the next morning over scrambled eggs and turkey bacon.
Nobody knows where Neal picked it up.
The problem with this disorder (the CDC was refusing to call it a disease. Or admit to the epidemic sweeping it's way through the new city of love) was that it spread painfully easy and was only contagious before your own symptoms appeared. The news was calling it "Cupid's Arrow", coined by a young blushing reporter who'd spent his 48 hours in the arms of his mother's best friend.
It caused the sufferers to fall madly, temporarily, in love (everyone afflicted refused to call it lust.) with the nearest person upon onset. This led to mass confusion and many broken hearts. Within 24 hours of exposure, each and every person became a slave to the desire of their heart.
It was understandably terrible.
So when Elizabeth finally dragged herself out from under Peter long enough to remember the third party that normally shared their bed, she was understandably worried. "Peter. Peter, where's Neal?"
"I love it when you're worried." Peter smoothed at the lines on her forehead. "Your eyes get so blue." He was grinning at her a dopey look on his face. "Dark like the deepest ocean." He sighed.
She fell for it and they sank back into the sea of blankets together.
The next time she resurfaced she managed to ignore the demands of her heart even with her pulse beating Peter's name in her ears. "We need to go find Neal." She stood on shaky legs and pulled her husband up behind her.
Peter hummed a little as she helped him dress, her fingers lingering over bare skin a little too long.
They look a cab to his loft, settled close in the back whispering sweet nothings to each other under the watchful eye of their cabbie. When he pulled up outside the mansion it took all of her concentration to remember why they were there. They were let in by a housekeeper and they made their way up the stairs; a tight fit side by side.
She raised her hand to knock, hoping Neal was alone, as Peter nuzzled into the side of her neck. "Neal?"
"It's open." His voice floated back. "Come in."
Neal was nowhere to be seen as they pushed in the door. "Where are you?" Peter was damn distracting with his lips on her earlobe and his fingers on her hips. She gave him a gentle nudge away.
"Back here."
She followed the voice and found him standing in front of his closet mirror. "Neal?"
"Elizabeth! Hi!" He twirled around and hugged her with enthusiasm. "What're you doing here?"
She shook her head lightly, this whole day felt like she was waking from a dream that didn't want to release her from it's clutches. "Something was missing this morning. Turns out, it was you. Where've you been?"
"Oh, you know." Neal brought a hand up and brushed the back of his knuckles across his cheek, eyes fluttering closed. "Just spending some time with myself."
Peter chose that moment to come ambling in after Elizabeth. "Hey! My two favorite people." He reached for Neal even as his nose found it's way back into Elizabeth's neck.
Neal's face darkened and he wrapped his arms around his middle protectively. "I don't think I want you here." He growled low; possessively.
"What?" Elizabeth was damned confused. And her husband's constant ministrations against her skin were not helping.
"You never tell Me that you think I'm pretty." He brought one hand up and traced a thumb over his cheekbone. "You just want Me for sex."
The bluntness of his statement left El reeling. "Are you joking?"
"And that's better with Myself anyway." He slid a hand down his neck and palmed his chest. "Trust me, I would know."
"Oh." She blinked at him. "Oh, I see what's going on." She sighed and stepped away from Peter, who was doing his best to climb her like a tree. "We've been infected. All of us."
Peter, looking lost without El to hang on to, frowned. "I don't feel sick."
"Well, you explain to me why we haven't left the house in two days and our boyfriend suddenly prefers his own hand to ours?" She glared at Neal. "It's going to be awhile before I forgive you for that."
"You can't love Me the way I can!" Neal snapped and crumpled to the floor, shushing himself quietly as he rocked.
Peter's brain finally got with the program. "He's..." He gaped at Neal for a moment before turning back to El. "Can you even fall in love with yourself?"
"Apparently." She pointed to the floor where Neal was stroking a hand through his hair, eyes closed, and silent words falling from his lips.
"Narcissism much?" Peter laughed. "Leave it to the sexiest guy in New York to fall in love with himself."
"You think I'm sexy?" Neal's voice was surprisingly hopeful, suddenly focused on Perer.
"Neal, I think you're gorgeous." Peter dropped down to a squat in front of him. "But that's never been why I love you." He stood, turned to Elizabeth, and rushed to her side; guilt written all over his face. "But I love you too!" He shook his head. "This is all very confusing."
"It's the bug." She pulled him close. "It doesn't usually feel like this. Like I have a demanding loyalty to you. But Neal..." She rolled her eyes at the one sided conversation he was having with himself.
It took another minute of Peter snuggling in so close she was afraid of fusing together before she remembered the man by their feet. "Peter.” She shoved at him. “Fix him.”
Neal was, for lack of a better word, nuzzling himself; he’d fallen to his side and was smoothing the hair over his ear again and again. There was a lot of self touching going on - though absolutely none of it was sexual in nature. He actually looked like he was… comforting himself. As if Himself was a whole other person. She raised her eyebrows at Peter. “I think seeing us together is only making him worse. Seriously, fix him.”
So Peter dropped to the floor and scooted up close behind Neal, replacing his hand with his own and tracing it through the hair above his ear. “I’m sorry, baby.”
Neal froze and slid away. "No."
Peter scootched a little closer. "Neal."
But Neal was already clambering to his feet, a scowl on his face. "You don't get to just waltz in here and take Me away!" He was angry; clutching at his own arm like he was trying stop himself from escaping. "I love Me!"
Peter rolled his eyes as he pulled himself back to his feet. He fought the urge to return to Elizabeth, more torn than he'd ever felt in his life. "But I love you too."
"Too bad." Neal whirled away. "I'm mine now."
"You're going to feel exceptionally silly tomorrow." Elizabeth piped up, “I feel a little silly and I was with my husband."
"Maybe we should just leave him, El." Peter was by her side almost as soon as she'd started talking, drawn to her like a moth to a flame. "He's clearly not a danger to himself."
"I don't like that he thinks we don't love him." She, again, put distance between her and her unusually clingy husband. "I'd like to be here when he remembers that we do."
Neal was chattering away to himself in the mirror, full watt con smile in place and all of the overtly flirtatious gestures, that he'd never had to use with them, on display.
"Is it a little sad that he has to put the moves on himself?" Peter took a step toward him. "I mean, shouldn't he just - love himself already?"
"I don't know, hon." She caught his arm before he could get any closer. "But yeah, I think so. C'mon." She pulled him from the room and they snuggled into the couch to wait it out.
Neal's laughter rang out spontaneously throughout the next couple hours and the low timbre of his voice was their constant companion as he carried on a conversation they couldn't quite make out through the wall. It was like they didn't even exist.
But still, they waited. It was all they could do; eventually he'd come around and while neither of them spoke the fear out loud, they both worried how he'd feel when he realized the one he loved was himself and he was alone.
Night had fallen before he appeared again and he tensed as he saw them. "You're still here?" He was glaring at Peter.
Peter turned to his wife. "What did I do, exactly? He doesn't seem to mind you." He turned back to Neal with eyebrows raised.
"I’d take it as a compliment." El patted his leg. "He finds you threatening to His love."
Peter pinked a little and cleared his throat. "Oh."
"I was just taking Myself to bed." Neal was still glaring. "If you could go now, I'd like to be alone with Myself."
"No can do, buddy." Peter shrugged. "Sorry."
Neal scowled. "Seriously, why are you here?"
"Because," Elizabeth blinked at him. "We love you most." She nudged Peter.
"Yeah, yeah, we do." He got to his feet at walked over to Neal. "Because we love everything about you."
Neal's face softened just a little and Peter took that as his cue to move into his space. He put a hand on each shoulder and looked him square in the eyes. "Even all those parts you you try to pretend don't exist."
When Neal didn't make any movement to try and get away, Peter pulled him in and wrapped his arms around him. "All those parts of you that you're trying to win over in there, with your fake smiles? We already love them." He stepped back and held him far enough away to look into his eyes again. "Do you know that. Neal? Do you understand how much we love you? All of you?"
Neal pulled away and blinked quickly against the burn of tears. He nodded and turned toward Elizabeth with a question on his face.
"Yes, baby." She answered before he could speak. "Me too." She was to them before she finished talking and reeled Neal into a hug. "Are you feeling better now?"
Neal shook himself and she let him go. "Think so." He ran a hand down his face. "I'm sorry."
"Don't be." Peter smiled. "It's not your fault. Besides, if it wasn't for the fact that you hated me, it was kind of cute."
Neal groaned. "You're never going to let me live this down, are you?" He was still unconsciously stroking a comforting hand down his arm. He followed Peter's smirk and stopped himself.
"Not a chance." Peter took him by the arm and led them all to the bed. "It's late."
Neal yawned and nodded. Clothes were dropped without care and they all climbed in, sandwiching Neal between them and even the parts of him that were aching for solitude knew this was so much better than being alone.
Loving himself was important, but it was the darkest parts of himself; exposed and cherished and returned to him better, that showed him what true love was. It was their ability to love the parts of him that he didn't yet know how to, that healed them.
Cocooned by this something precious, he slept.
Thank you!