[Holo] - The codes, they do nothing!

[who_never_would]

If anyone has any kind of mental link with the TARDIS' translation circuit and up at this hour, they'll notice something rather strange going on. It's pretty much unheard of him to swear in public, much less in the privacy of his own ship, but when the hologram pops online, he's ranting and raving in every single language he can put his

Comments

[voice]

[gating_across]

I don't think taking it out on the machine is going to help.

[who_never_would]

Yes, I realize that. Well. Sometimes beating things with a hammer works on the TARDIS, but as of lately I've sort of had nothing to do but fix the things that needed bashing with a hammer, so you see I'm dreadfully, dreadfully bored. So, you know, ah, well, I thought I'd just beat on the console for old time's sake, yeah?

[gating_across]

Oh, well then. Don't let me stop you from a familiar activity.

[who_never_would]

No, no, it's quite alright, really it is. She doesn't so much appreciate being beaten, and generally I try not to inflict too much ah, percussive maintenance as it were.

I'm the Doctor. You are?

[voice]

[erudite_watcher]

I'm the last person who would be able to manipulate the database, but if you do figure out how to get a decent cuppa out of the blast replicators I'll give you a million pounds for one. The last tea I had wasn't much better then dishwater, and the weak excuse for a scone isn't worth mentioning.

Re: [voice]

[who_never_would]

Not sure what you've been asking the machine for then. Then again, I've been specifying the exact chemical mixture for each individual item that I wanted, that seems to help. The more specific you are with the thing the better it responds and the more often you get exactly what you ask for. If you simply ask for, "a cup of tea and a scone", you'll get whatever the machine's code approximates as a cup of tea and a scone.

However... if you do... [there's a pause, and the Doctor begins tapping away on his tablet, sending whomever he's speaking with a long elaborate list of ingredients and their exact measurements in metric] this, you should be a little more satisfied with what comes out.

[voice]

[damnfinecoffee]

Well, I'm sure it'd give you a non-bloody earl grey with blueberry scones if you asked it nicely...

[voice]

[who_never_would]

Oh, hello, Ianto.

[voice]

[damnfinecoffee]

I suppose it's safe to assume you've not had much luck either?

[voice]

[who_never_would]

None at all, actually.

... Have you heard from River, recently?