I've known since I worked on Kain's car crash story that he was the first to fall in both lifetimes. It was Beryl's perfect solution: put all her resources into controlling the strongest one, and the rest would follow.
I'm hoping to do a follow-up story answering those very questions soon. :]
Must rush but Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!!! You know what struck me most?. The spiders comment. That was so very Neil. You pulled this off perfectly, how they are so completely the same as before and the only way we know they're under Beryl's control is by the fact that Endymion feels it. The differences are so subtle, like Jadeite hitting him, Kunzite hitting Jadeite... Butt fluff, I really have to go, I wish I could say more about this. When I pictured the betrayal of the Shittenou it was something like this, except you've made it 10 times more awesomer. And for obvious reasons I am going to go to where I now have to be and I will be sobbing.
And that end, it was soooo effective, you could totally understand how he felt. And THANK YOU for someone daring to have Mamoru being uncomfortable with the betrayal, even if he has already forgiven them.
Shite! So late! Damn you woman and your brilliance!
Oh Charlie, I hope I haven't made you late! Thanks for commenting despite the rush!
You know what struck me most?. The spiders comment. That was so very Neil.
Yeah, I found that scene so hard to write, because it felt right to have Nephrite act like Nephrite, but he's not really Nephrite anymore and it's all wrong and horrible. It's like he's just a shadow of Nephrite, carrying on all the same mannerisms and ways of speech that he remembers himself using before he was changed.
You pulled this off perfectly, how they are so completely the same as before and the only way we know they're under Beryl's control is by the fact that Endymion feels it.
I'm so glad you thought so! I really wanted to convey the idea that they really truly believe they were doing something right, and didn't think they were being controlled at all. And I mean, for someone like Endymion to not realize they were betraying him, it had to have been hidden extremely well.
And THANK YOU for someone daring to have Mamoru being uncomfortable with the betrayal
( ... )
The first story I read from the Monstersocks universe, glad I finally make a start. Love the first and the last part. The first because the description of nausea and irritation and suspicion are so well done, and I loved the suspense and how creepy the small changes in their personalities are. Loved the last part because those texts! Argh, poor Mamoru! ;D But the middle part, hm, I didn't really need to have all the mystery revealed, and I still don't really get how it worked. I can believe that it worked, but the "everyone thinks everyone else is under a spell thing" doesn't do it for me, I'm automatically searching for the underlying story and don't find it - but I guess it'll all make sense when I read the other Monsterverse stories.
Wow, really? Yay, new reader!! I... totally wouldn't have chosen this one as a first. XD It's not really like most Monstersocks stories... at all. I barely ever go into the past life stuff. And it's usually not so angsty. Usually. XD
I didn't really need to have all the mystery revealed, and I still don't really get how it worked. Hm, I guess this is the problem with me having an idea that I've been wanting to find a way to tell for so long that the moment the opportunity arose, I stuck it in there just because I could. It's hard to know what's just enough background info to not interfere with the story. I didn't really want to lay out Beryl's entire scheme from beginning to end because nobody really needs to know that, but I wanted to include enough that a few important details are revealed
( ... )
No, no, you explain it very well. But the moment these things are bluntly spoken out, they sound odd. "You are controlled by a witch" - "No, you are controlled by a witch". Maybe I have this feeling of missing pieces because I don't know what Endymion has done to not only look suspicious but undermine all trust the Shitennou ever had in him, Beryl or no. I find it really hard to take sides in this conflict. I like the idea that mutual paranoia is their downfall, and I like the idea that Endymion might be just as delusional as his guardians. In that case, Beryl really wouldn't have to do much except wait until they were at each other's throats and then take over the Kingdom.
Love this. It's great to see Mamoru remembering stuff (and bad stuff at that!)... wonder how difficult it'd be for him when he does next see them (and hate to think how awful the Shitennou'd feel if they realised what he's remembered). Oh, I should say: Hi, monstersocks is great (thank you for writing- makes me walk around grinning like an idiot all day when there's a new one) and love the angst in this one. ~new*star*himeko/no-one whatsoever (disappears back into lurker mode)
(I knew it was Kunzite, no one else could masterfully plan it like this!)
OH MY GOD POOR ENDYMION BEING ALL SAD AND LOCKED AWAY! (How awesome is it that he talks to Nephrite just long enough to collect enough power to BLOW IT ALL APART)
“I can see the places in your heart where she has tainted you. Small places, important places. Deeply embedded beneath your every thought and action. And all of it pointing to your loyalty to me. I always thought that for a sorceress like that to control a person, they would have to change everything they are, but now I see that all she must do is know your deepest weakness. And I’m sorry, Nephrite, I really am. I’m sorry I did not see what she did to you sooner. I’m sorry that your weakness was me. And I’m sorry for what I must do.”HOLY MOLY, Spirit, what a speech! You should write speeches for a living. DAMN IT, this is gloriously brilliant! I am so in awe
( ... )
LYTTON!! Are you back or are you just briefly emerging from the pile of stuff you have to do? Either way, YAY LYTTON!
(How awesome is it that he talks to Nephrite just long enough to collect enough power to BLOW IT ALL APART)
He's sneaky like that. Nephrite really should have seen it coming, but I think he was thoroughly convinced that he and Endy were on the same side, pesky brainwashing notwithstanding, and he'd never do anything like blow up his cell with Nephrite in it, not even after they imprisoned him in the first place. Because Nephrite doesn't see what they did as a betrayal at all and it's all just confusing and messy.
HOLY MOLY, Spirit, what a speech! You should write speeches for a living. DAMN IT, this is gloriously brilliant! I am so in awe!
Aw, thanks!
He can't even hang with them now because he is all sad and guilt-ridden. Because it's not so much the being betrayed part, it's the not saving them part that rankles him, right?Yes. Well, all of it. I think the fact that he feels responsible is the biggest part
( ... )
I was certain that if anything could lure you out, it would be something like this! Consider me properly lured. But missy, beware, Angsty April is soon upon us and your fic has inspired me GREATLY. Once I've finished the sixth chapter of On Razor's Edge and the second of my long-ignored Housewives fic, I will begin planning this year's sob fest.
Comments 23
(The comment has been removed)
I've known since I worked on Kain's car crash story that he was the first to fall in both lifetimes. It was Beryl's perfect solution: put all her resources into controlling the strongest one, and the rest would follow.
I'm hoping to do a follow-up story answering those very questions soon. :]
Reply
And that end, it was soooo effective, you could totally understand how he felt. And THANK YOU for someone daring to have Mamoru being uncomfortable with the betrayal, even if he has already forgiven them.
Shite! So late! Damn you woman and your brilliance!
Reply
You know what struck me most?. The spiders comment. That was so very Neil.
Yeah, I found that scene so hard to write, because it felt right to have Nephrite act like Nephrite, but he's not really Nephrite anymore and it's all wrong and horrible. It's like he's just a shadow of Nephrite, carrying on all the same mannerisms and ways of speech that he remembers himself using before he was changed.
You pulled this off perfectly, how they are so completely the same as before and the only way we know they're under Beryl's control is by the fact that Endymion feels it.
I'm so glad you thought so! I really wanted to convey the idea that they really truly believe they were doing something right, and didn't think they were being controlled at all. And I mean, for someone like Endymion to not realize they were betraying him, it had to have been hidden extremely well.
And THANK YOU for someone daring to have Mamoru being uncomfortable with the betrayal ( ... )
Reply
Love the first and the last part. The first because the description of nausea and irritation and suspicion are so well done, and I loved the suspense and how creepy the small changes in their personalities are.
Loved the last part because those texts! Argh, poor Mamoru! ;D
But the middle part, hm, I didn't really need to have all the mystery revealed, and I still don't really get how it worked. I can believe that it worked, but the "everyone thinks everyone else is under a spell thing" doesn't do it for me, I'm automatically searching for the underlying story and don't find it - but I guess it'll all make sense when I read the other Monsterverse stories.
Reply
I didn't really need to have all the mystery revealed, and I still don't really get how it worked. Hm, I guess this is the problem with me having an idea that I've been wanting to find a way to tell for so long that the moment the opportunity arose, I stuck it in there just because I could. It's hard to know what's just enough background info to not interfere with the story. I didn't really want to lay out Beryl's entire scheme from beginning to end because nobody really needs to know that, but I wanted to include enough that a few important details are revealed ( ... )
Reply
Maybe I have this feeling of missing pieces because I don't know what Endymion has done to not only look suspicious but undermine all trust the Shitennou ever had in him, Beryl or no.
I find it really hard to take sides in this conflict. I like the idea that mutual paranoia is their downfall, and I like the idea that Endymion might be just as delusional as his guardians. In that case, Beryl really wouldn't have to do much except wait until they were at each other's throats and then take over the Kingdom.
Reply
Oh, I should say: Hi, monstersocks is great (thank you for writing- makes me walk around grinning like an idiot all day when there's a new one) and love the angst in this one.
~new*star*himeko/no-one whatsoever (disappears back into lurker mode)
Reply
I'm so happy you like Monstersocks and that you enjoyed this. I'm really flattered that it has that affect on you!
Reply
(I knew it was Kunzite, no one else could masterfully plan it like this!)
OH MY GOD POOR ENDYMION BEING ALL SAD AND LOCKED AWAY!
(How awesome is it that he talks to Nephrite just long enough to collect enough power to BLOW IT ALL APART)
“I can see the places in your heart where she has tainted you. Small places, important places. Deeply embedded beneath your every thought and action. And all of it pointing to your loyalty to me. I always thought that for a sorceress like that to control a person, they would have to change everything they are, but now I see that all she must do is know your deepest weakness. And I’m sorry, Nephrite, I really am. I’m sorry I did not see what she did to you sooner. I’m sorry that your weakness was me. And I’m sorry for what I must do.”HOLY MOLY, Spirit, what a speech! You should write speeches for a living. DAMN IT, this is gloriously brilliant! I am so in awe ( ... )
Reply
(How awesome is it that he talks to Nephrite just long enough to collect enough power to BLOW IT ALL APART)
He's sneaky like that. Nephrite really should have seen it coming, but I think he was thoroughly convinced that he and Endy were on the same side, pesky brainwashing notwithstanding, and he'd never do anything like blow up his cell with Nephrite in it, not even after they imprisoned him in the first place. Because Nephrite doesn't see what they did as a betrayal at all and it's all just confusing and messy.
HOLY MOLY, Spirit, what a speech! You should write speeches for a living. DAMN IT, this is gloriously brilliant! I am so in awe!
Aw, thanks!
He can't even hang with them now because he is all sad and guilt-ridden. Because it's not so much the being betrayed part, it's the not saving them part that rankles him, right?Yes. Well, all of it. I think the fact that he feels responsible is the biggest part ( ... )
Reply
Consider me properly lured. But missy, beware, Angsty April is soon upon us and your fic has inspired me GREATLY. Once I've finished the sixth chapter of On Razor's Edge and the second of my long-ignored Housewives fic, I will begin planning this year's sob fest.
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