Dangerous Obsessions
Title: Dangerous Obsessions
Character: Kuchiki Rukia
Pairing: Kuchiki Rukia x Grimmjow Jaggerjeaques
Author: tasogaretaichou
Rating: PG-13, possibly R
Prompt: Paranoia
Warnings: Spoilers for the arrancar arc
Summary: A brush with death brings paranoia. But sometimes that isn't all it brings.
An obsession was a darkly dangerous thing. Everyone knew that, and she was certainly no different from everyone else in that respect. She knew well the sultry tangles with which an obsession could ensnare your mind and heart, drawing you deep into it's coils until you could no longer see the way out. That was why she pushed her own fixations back. Out of the way, deep into the depths of her mind where she kept all of those other sinful, dark thoughts that should never see the light of day.
It was difficult, though, to fight the subtle swell of feeling and emotion, the replay of events that filtered through her mind over and over again in an unending loop that brought her -- she was relatively sure -- closer and closer to madness with each passing day. Difficult to distract herself from the scent, the touch... the feel of the espada's fingers clenched around her head, her eye covered with his palm as she felt, sensed the tingling of the reiatsu building in his hand, the cero forming in front of her as she clenched her eye shut as if somehow that minutely thin slip of skin would protect her from the deadly force building.
She could feel that hand, feel it's tightening force around her skull, feel it even in her sleep when dreams would normally chase away all such things. Just as she could smell him still, smell that spiced scent mixed of sweat and something else, something deeper that stirred things within her she knew shouldn't be stirred. It was the same with his voice, with that mocking and arrogant tone that danced through her dreams in a kaleidoscope of sound and fury. Refusing to leave her alone, captivating her even against her own will as she argued with it, tried to deny the one thing that she couldn't lie about. Even to herself.
He fascinated her.
And it wasn't even him that drew her so much, that tugged her in and sent her spiraling down that path she knew she shouldn't tread. It was... something else.
Despite all the long years of her life that she could recall, there was one constant which had remained with Kuchiki Rukia through all of those years. She had been protected. Been guarded and watched, whether by her adoptive brother, by the man she called best friend... even by the boy who she -- against her will, again -- couldn't deny that she had fallen for. And in that protecting, regardless of where it came from, was security. The security of knowing that her safety was kept, that her person was walled away from those things that could threaten it.
The sexta espada... threatened that. He had pushed past those walls, broken through those defenses frantically erected about her by those who loved her, and he had brought the taste and scent of death with him into her world, threatened her in a deeper way than even those who would have brought about her execution could have. Because he had also thrown away the control, all with a hand through her chest and a palm against her face.
It had been the sudden and heavy realization of the closeness of death he had brought that initially triggered it. The rush, the heightened sense of adrenaline, the awareness that came from that same thing coursing through her veins as she came to the nauseating conclusion that struggling was futile, that any and all attempts at escape were worthless. Sending all of her nerves into a heightened state remniscent of a post-orgasmic bliss, sensations drifting down nerve endings at dizzying speeds as her entire consciousness itself expanded into an explosion of colour and sound.
And in that moment, she couldn't deny that she had never felt more alive.
Which therein lay the problem. That feeling was a refreshing blast through the monotony that much of her life had become, like a cold shockwave rushing through her psyche, rocking everything she had grounded herself in. Because regardless of what she told herself, it was a feeling she couldn't shake. She wanted it, wanted more of it. And in that same vein... wanted him.
It sickened her, turned her stomach to feel so drawn to an enemy, an espada who would simply destroy her, wipe her off of the face of the map. But at the same time... she couldn't deny it, couldn't ignore it and make it go away. Because that feeling... it wasn't just a feeling. It was a need, a craving. An obsession, like a drug in her system that only tightened it's claws around her mind the longer she went without it.
She was broken out of her reverie by the beeping of her phone, followed by Ichigo's barging into the room in his usual loud manner. Scowling to herself, Rukia tucked the phone back into her pocket as she pulled out her ginkongan. It was wrong, and she would die before admitting it, but... perhaps he'd be there again. And there'd be another chance to feel that same thing again.
Character: Kuchiki Rukia
Pairing: Kuchiki Rukia x Grimmjow Jaggerjeaques
Author: tasogaretaichou
Rating: PG-13, possibly R
Prompt: Paranoia
Warnings: Spoilers for the arrancar arc
Summary: A brush with death brings paranoia. But sometimes that isn't all it brings.
An obsession was a darkly dangerous thing. Everyone knew that, and she was certainly no different from everyone else in that respect. She knew well the sultry tangles with which an obsession could ensnare your mind and heart, drawing you deep into it's coils until you could no longer see the way out. That was why she pushed her own fixations back. Out of the way, deep into the depths of her mind where she kept all of those other sinful, dark thoughts that should never see the light of day.
It was difficult, though, to fight the subtle swell of feeling and emotion, the replay of events that filtered through her mind over and over again in an unending loop that brought her -- she was relatively sure -- closer and closer to madness with each passing day. Difficult to distract herself from the scent, the touch... the feel of the espada's fingers clenched around her head, her eye covered with his palm as she felt, sensed the tingling of the reiatsu building in his hand, the cero forming in front of her as she clenched her eye shut as if somehow that minutely thin slip of skin would protect her from the deadly force building.
She could feel that hand, feel it's tightening force around her skull, feel it even in her sleep when dreams would normally chase away all such things. Just as she could smell him still, smell that spiced scent mixed of sweat and something else, something deeper that stirred things within her she knew shouldn't be stirred. It was the same with his voice, with that mocking and arrogant tone that danced through her dreams in a kaleidoscope of sound and fury. Refusing to leave her alone, captivating her even against her own will as she argued with it, tried to deny the one thing that she couldn't lie about. Even to herself.
He fascinated her.
And it wasn't even him that drew her so much, that tugged her in and sent her spiraling down that path she knew she shouldn't tread. It was... something else.
Despite all the long years of her life that she could recall, there was one constant which had remained with Kuchiki Rukia through all of those years. She had been protected. Been guarded and watched, whether by her adoptive brother, by the man she called best friend... even by the boy who she -- against her will, again -- couldn't deny that she had fallen for. And in that protecting, regardless of where it came from, was security. The security of knowing that her safety was kept, that her person was walled away from those things that could threaten it.
The sexta espada... threatened that. He had pushed past those walls, broken through those defenses frantically erected about her by those who loved her, and he had brought the taste and scent of death with him into her world, threatened her in a deeper way than even those who would have brought about her execution could have. Because he had also thrown away the control, all with a hand through her chest and a palm against her face.
It had been the sudden and heavy realization of the closeness of death he had brought that initially triggered it. The rush, the heightened sense of adrenaline, the awareness that came from that same thing coursing through her veins as she came to the nauseating conclusion that struggling was futile, that any and all attempts at escape were worthless. Sending all of her nerves into a heightened state remniscent of a post-orgasmic bliss, sensations drifting down nerve endings at dizzying speeds as her entire consciousness itself expanded into an explosion of colour and sound.
And in that moment, she couldn't deny that she had never felt more alive.
Which therein lay the problem. That feeling was a refreshing blast through the monotony that much of her life had become, like a cold shockwave rushing through her psyche, rocking everything she had grounded herself in. Because regardless of what she told herself, it was a feeling she couldn't shake. She wanted it, wanted more of it. And in that same vein... wanted him.
It sickened her, turned her stomach to feel so drawn to an enemy, an espada who would simply destroy her, wipe her off of the face of the map. But at the same time... she couldn't deny it, couldn't ignore it and make it go away. Because that feeling... it wasn't just a feeling. It was a need, a craving. An obsession, like a drug in her system that only tightened it's claws around her mind the longer she went without it.
She was broken out of her reverie by the beeping of her phone, followed by Ichigo's barging into the room in his usual loud manner. Scowling to herself, Rukia tucked the phone back into her pocket as she pulled out her ginkongan. It was wrong, and she would die before admitting it, but... perhaps he'd be there again. And there'd be another chance to feel that same thing again.