Chapter Three: What We Pretend to Be
Title: L'esprit de l'escalier
Note: The rest of the series can be found here.
Author: taro_twist (aka Tairona)
Timeline/Fandom: post-Superman Returns
Pairing: Lois/Clark
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: DC and the WB own everything! I'm just temporarily messing with their creations ...
Spoilers: Superman Returns, Superman II, and I guess Superman: The Movie, to be on the safe side
Word Count: 2,802
Chapter Three: What We Pretend to Be
As Clark pulled his glasses off for the second time that day, he found himself wishing that he could trade his heat vision, or X-ray vision, or his spleen-or maybe all three-for the power of Super Decision Making.
Of course, as Superman, he made split-second choices all the time. Divert the lava floe away from the Indonesian village, or rescue the girl who’s about to get her throat slashed in a back alley of Buenos Aires? Save your next door neighbor’s chinchilla from falling out of the window, or stop the Wojtowicz kid from doing an olley into old, osteoporotic Mrs. Matteini (again) and breaking her shin (again)? Etc., etc. They were hard choices, but he never hesitated. Because in the superhero business, hesitation meant losing everything.
But for some reason, when it came to telling Lois Lane the truth about his identity, Clark didn’t just hesitate-he became absolutely paralyzed. How many times had he tried to tell Lois about his double life since their talk (their falling out) the other night? Nine times-this attempt would make it ten. And how many times had he tried to tell her before The Other Night? If it hadn’t been for his eidetic memory, he would have certainly lost track by now.
Of course, the situation wasn’t life or death-but quite frankly, if it had been, it would have been much easier to deal with. As it was, it was one of the hardest decisions that Clark had ever faced.
Over the years, he’d had so many reasons for telling Lois who he was, and just as many reasons for keeping that information from her. In the beginning, it had been a simple matter of protecting her; her connection to him through the Superman articles that she wrote for the Planet had put her in enough danger as it was, without her knowing about his dual identity, too. But after she had discovered the truth about him, and he had subsequently erased it from her memory-well, to say that that had been a mistake would be the understatement of the century.
That had been an act of protection, too. He had only wanted to protect Lois from the pain their relationship had caused her; but as the saying goes, the road to hell is paved with good intentions, and his good intentions could not make up for the fact that he had abused his powers, and yes, interfered with Lois’s life without her consent. Since his return from Krypton, not a day went by when he didn’t wonder what might have been if only he had had enough faith that, one day, he and Lois could have learned to be together-that he could still serve humanity, even though one human stood above all others in his heart.
If only he hadn’t taken the easy way out.
And now? Now it was clear that he had to tell Lois the truth about who he was. Keeping secrets from her and trying to distance himself from her would not protect her any longer, especially now that they shared a son-a son whom Lex Luthor knew about (as Lois had informed him some weeks ago). And even if he could have protected her with lies, he finally knew better than to try. She was the woman he loved, the mother of his child-if nothing else, she deserved to know the entire man whom she had created a life with, and not just fractions of him.
And yet, he still hesitated, and for completely less than noble reasons, too. Kurt Vonnegut once wrote, “We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be”-a sentiment that Clark agreed with more and more with each passing day. After all these years of hiding behind a weak and cowardly façade, Clark could only conclude that he was starting to become his façade. For how else could he explain how scared he felt whenever he tried to reveal himself to Lois?
Glasses dangling from the tips of his fingers, Clark watched Lois now. After her unexpected confession that Jason wasn’t Richard’s son, she had dropped her soda, allowing it to clatter to the floor, and had buried her face in her hands with a mumbled, “I can’t believe I just said that.” He couldn’t believe that she had said that, either, and could only imagine what must be happening inside of the indomitable Lois Lane to cause her to melt down like this. He knew that this sudden show of vulnerability couldn’t be because of The Other Night, or at least not completely; yesterday, she had seemed perfectly happy, if not happier than anyone had seen her in weeks.
From the way she and Richard had been acting today, though, Clark certainly had some strong suspicions about what might have gone wrong. But in the end, it was only speculation. Even though he always kept an ear open in case Lois or Jason (or even Richard) got into trouble, he never eavesdropped on their day to day lives if he could help it. Even when they were all in the office together, he now made a concerted effort to block them out.
And so while Lois gathered herself back together as best she could, Clark twirled his glasses around by one of their side pieces, wondering about what had hurt her, and waiting for her to look up. He thought about getting her attention by speaking up, but every time he opened his mouth to say something, he heard her words in his head, heard her telling him, Clark, you’ve always been a good friend. And those words were enough to stop his voice in his throat.
Clark flipped his glasses over in his hands while Lois rubbed at her eyes, and he wondered what he would be to her once she opened those eyes and found out how good old Clark Kent had been deceiving her all this time. He wasn’t her lover anymore-hadn’t been for more than five years-and soon, he wouldn’t even be a good friend, either. He would be nothing more than so much excess baggage-someone whom she would tolerate, for Jason’s sake, and Jason’s sake alone.
Clark flipped his glasses over again, fighting the urge to put them back on. Richard would have to be told, too, of course. How am I even going to come in to the office anymore? Clark asked himself. It was one thing to work alongside Lois and Richard when they just thought of him as a harmless co-worker. But once all of the cards were finally laid on the table, Clark felt that it would be preferable to try living on New Krypton than to keep up his act in front of their knowing eyes. Maybe I could transfer to the Metropolis Times, Clark thought. Perry would probably kill me-no, scratch that, he would kill me, but-
At that moment, he heard several sets of footsteps leave the stream of traffic that was flowing up and down the stairs. They were walking across the sixth floor landing. He shoved his glasses back on just as the door from the stairwell opened and a group of office workers filed through, heading for the architecture firm at the end of the hallway. Lois lifted her head and put on a tight smile, while Clark greeted the strangers with a little too much enthusiasm.
“Well,” Lois laughed nervously once they were alone again. “Now that we’ve gotten that little … fun fact out in the open, I might as well cough up the whole story.”
“Lois, I-“ Clark lifted his hand, going for his glasses again. It wasn’t the best time for this, it wasn’t the best place, but if he didn’t do it now, he suddenly felt that he never would.
“Yes, Clark?” Lois tilted her head, waiting for him to say more.
He let his hand drop. We are what we pretend to be, indeed, he thought. He couldn’t do it. Not yet anyway. Because to tell her the truth would be to lose her forever. That was why he was so afraid. He had already lost her as Superman, and to lose her as Clark Kent, too-he knew that it was inevitable, but he just wasn’t ready for it yet. Like a patient who has been diagnosed with terminal cancer, he needed time to come to terms with the reality of it. He needed a few more days to be in denial-to live in a fantasy world-to pretend that he wasn’t going to have to face a life without her.
“I, uh … is-is Jason … is he your son?” Clark found himself asking, for lack of anything better to say.
As it turned out, it seemed to have been the right thing to say, because Lois began slipping back into her usual mode of behavior, rolling her eyes at him as if it was the stupidest thing he could have asked-and, in all fairness, it was the stupidest thing he could have asked.
“With all the trouble he gets himself into, the answer to that should be obvious,” Lois remarked. “But in case it isn’t-yes, Jason is my son. What did you think, Clark-that Richard and I found him in the middle of a field somewhere?”
“Stranger things have certainly happened,” Clark said, suppressing a laugh.
“Sorry, Clark. I’m sure you don’t know what to think anymore,” Lois smiled at him, running a hand through her loose curls-such a simple gesture, and yet his breath caught in his throat at the sight of it.
“Um, well … I-I don’t …” Clark dropped his gaze while he searched for some kind of response.
“I’ll take that to mean ‘yes,’” Lois said before he could come up with anything. “Look, why don’t I just tell you everything from beginning to end, and then you can let me know what you think, okay?”
“Wh-what I … what I th-think?” Clark stammered. Most of the time, the stuttering was part of the act-he had to focus to make sure that he tripped over every other word. Not this time, though.
“Yeah,” Lois shrugged. “Give me some of your supposedly terrible advice.”
“If-if you say so, Lois,” Clark consented.
“Right … now then … where to start this sordid tale …” Lois trailed off and began nibbling on her thumb nail, a nervous habit that she seemed to have acquired during his absence (one of the smaller reminders of all the time they had lost). A crease deepened between her eyebrows as she frowned, and another silence fell between the two reporters.
Clark buttoned and unbuttoned the cuffs of his jacket, waiting for Lois to continue, and trying not to worry over what she was about to tell him. Even with the emotional stress she seemed to be under, he still couldn’t believe that she was about to confess to him that, yes, the rumors were true-she had been Superman’s girlfriend, and Jason was their son. If Lois Lane would divulge a secret like that-even if it was to the innocuous Clark Kent-then he didn’t know her half as well as he thought he did. But if she wasn’t going to talk to him about that, then what else-?
“Okay, sorry about that, I got a little … lost in thought,” Lois finally said. “Right. So anyway, before I met Richard, I was seeing another man-obviously. His name was-is-um … Charlie … Bird …“
In spite of himself, Clark began laughing. Even worse, he tried to hold it in, so that it came out as a snort. Well, at least he had been right about Lois-she wouldn’t have revealed the true nature of Jason’s origins had someone pulled out all of her fingernails with pliers (not that he would ever let that happen, of course).
“What?” Lois was giving him an exasperated look, although he could tell she was biting her lip to keep from smiling.
“I-I’m sorry, Lois, but that … that name just makes me think of a Charlie horse,” Clark told her, still chuckling, although he wasn’t really poking fun at her, but at himself. See what an absurd mess your lies have created, Kent? he was telling himself.
“Oh, shut up, Smallville,” Lois grumbled. “I can’t help it if the guy has a stupid name-I didn’t give it to him.”
“Sure, Lois. I’m-I’m backing off,” Clark raised his hands in a gesture of surrender.
“All right, where was I?” Lois asked, glaring at him. “Okay, so I was seeing Charlie for a while, and I … we were … I really … um …” Lois drifted off for a moment, pressing her lips together. “I was so in love with him-“
Clark had to grit his teeth to keep from reacting to those words.
“-but then he just left, without letting me know where he was going or even telling me that he was leaving-“
“Oh, so this is-this is that guy?” Clark interjected. “The one who didn’t say good-bye?”
“Yes! Exactly! This is him,” Lois said. “ See, Kent, you are a good listener. I’d almost forgotten that I’d told you about that.”
Clark tried not to feel too pleased by Lois’s compliment.
“So yeah, he-Charlie-just completely disappeared without saying good-bye,” Lois continued-snapped, really. “And I met Richard shortly afterwards and … oh, god, now you must be thinking that Richard was just some rebound, replacement boyfriend, and to tell you the truth-and this is going to sound terrible, but-he was at first. But then I found out that I was pregnant and-now this might sound strange, but I swear I had very good reasons to think this-I was convinced that the baby was Richard’s. And so I decided that I was going to make things work with him, for our child’s sake. And then, I woke up one day and … I realized that, while I wasn't looking, I had fallen in love with him.”
Clark couldn’t help but flinch at that. Well, this is what you get for having a conversation that you shouldn’t even be a part of, he reminded himself.
“He was just … he's been there for me when no one else has,” Lois went on. “And as I’m sure you know, he’s a great guy. A terrific father to Jason. I couldn’t have asked for more. But …”
“But?” Clark prompted when Lois fell silent.
“But then Su … um … Charlie … he came back,” Lois stated.
“Did he, um … where did … did you find out where he'd gone?” Clark inquired, trying to think of things that a newcomer to the situation would ask.
“I did,” Lois answered quicker than he had expected-apparently she had also become more comfortable with her role in this bizarre play. “He, um … well, you see, he’s in the CIA, and it turned out he was given a deep cover assignment in China-“
Clark covered his mouth to hide a smile, and resisted the urge to ask Lois to explain how she had persuaded a CIA operative to reveal something as classified as the details of a deep cover assignment.
“-and you were right,” she continued, her voice dropping so that it was nearly a whisper. “He didn’t say good-bye because … because it was too hard. He told me … he told me that if he had said good-bye, he never would have been able to leave.”
“So, uh, is … J-jason is …” Clark forced himself to speak, to detach, to stay in the mindset of the ignorant outsider.
“Yes, Jason is his,” Lois nodded. “I just found out.”
Clark shoved his hands into his pockets, and began nudging a dried piece of chewing gum on the floor with his foot. A thought had suddenly struck him. It had never occurred to him before, and he couldn’t say why it had come to him now; perhaps it was because, for the first time, he was looking at his relationship with Lois as if it had happened, not to him, but to someone else entirely. Whatever reason he had for thinking it, though, he knew that he had no right to voice the question that had formed itself in his mind. But since he had already crossed the line … Let’s go all the way and trample it, he decided.
“Lois?” he looked up and met her hazel eyes.
“Hmm?”
“Lois, why didn’t you wait?”
Note: The rest of the series can be found here.
Author: taro_twist (aka Tairona)
Timeline/Fandom: post-Superman Returns
Pairing: Lois/Clark
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: DC and the WB own everything! I'm just temporarily messing with their creations ...
Spoilers: Superman Returns, Superman II, and I guess Superman: The Movie, to be on the safe side
Word Count: 2,802
Chapter Three: What We Pretend to Be
As Clark pulled his glasses off for the second time that day, he found himself wishing that he could trade his heat vision, or X-ray vision, or his spleen-or maybe all three-for the power of Super Decision Making.
Of course, as Superman, he made split-second choices all the time. Divert the lava floe away from the Indonesian village, or rescue the girl who’s about to get her throat slashed in a back alley of Buenos Aires? Save your next door neighbor’s chinchilla from falling out of the window, or stop the Wojtowicz kid from doing an olley into old, osteoporotic Mrs. Matteini (again) and breaking her shin (again)? Etc., etc. They were hard choices, but he never hesitated. Because in the superhero business, hesitation meant losing everything.
But for some reason, when it came to telling Lois Lane the truth about his identity, Clark didn’t just hesitate-he became absolutely paralyzed. How many times had he tried to tell Lois about his double life since their talk (their falling out) the other night? Nine times-this attempt would make it ten. And how many times had he tried to tell her before The Other Night? If it hadn’t been for his eidetic memory, he would have certainly lost track by now.
Of course, the situation wasn’t life or death-but quite frankly, if it had been, it would have been much easier to deal with. As it was, it was one of the hardest decisions that Clark had ever faced.
Over the years, he’d had so many reasons for telling Lois who he was, and just as many reasons for keeping that information from her. In the beginning, it had been a simple matter of protecting her; her connection to him through the Superman articles that she wrote for the Planet had put her in enough danger as it was, without her knowing about his dual identity, too. But after she had discovered the truth about him, and he had subsequently erased it from her memory-well, to say that that had been a mistake would be the understatement of the century.
That had been an act of protection, too. He had only wanted to protect Lois from the pain their relationship had caused her; but as the saying goes, the road to hell is paved with good intentions, and his good intentions could not make up for the fact that he had abused his powers, and yes, interfered with Lois’s life without her consent. Since his return from Krypton, not a day went by when he didn’t wonder what might have been if only he had had enough faith that, one day, he and Lois could have learned to be together-that he could still serve humanity, even though one human stood above all others in his heart.
If only he hadn’t taken the easy way out.
And now? Now it was clear that he had to tell Lois the truth about who he was. Keeping secrets from her and trying to distance himself from her would not protect her any longer, especially now that they shared a son-a son whom Lex Luthor knew about (as Lois had informed him some weeks ago). And even if he could have protected her with lies, he finally knew better than to try. She was the woman he loved, the mother of his child-if nothing else, she deserved to know the entire man whom she had created a life with, and not just fractions of him.
And yet, he still hesitated, and for completely less than noble reasons, too. Kurt Vonnegut once wrote, “We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be”-a sentiment that Clark agreed with more and more with each passing day. After all these years of hiding behind a weak and cowardly façade, Clark could only conclude that he was starting to become his façade. For how else could he explain how scared he felt whenever he tried to reveal himself to Lois?
Glasses dangling from the tips of his fingers, Clark watched Lois now. After her unexpected confession that Jason wasn’t Richard’s son, she had dropped her soda, allowing it to clatter to the floor, and had buried her face in her hands with a mumbled, “I can’t believe I just said that.” He couldn’t believe that she had said that, either, and could only imagine what must be happening inside of the indomitable Lois Lane to cause her to melt down like this. He knew that this sudden show of vulnerability couldn’t be because of The Other Night, or at least not completely; yesterday, she had seemed perfectly happy, if not happier than anyone had seen her in weeks.
From the way she and Richard had been acting today, though, Clark certainly had some strong suspicions about what might have gone wrong. But in the end, it was only speculation. Even though he always kept an ear open in case Lois or Jason (or even Richard) got into trouble, he never eavesdropped on their day to day lives if he could help it. Even when they were all in the office together, he now made a concerted effort to block them out.
And so while Lois gathered herself back together as best she could, Clark twirled his glasses around by one of their side pieces, wondering about what had hurt her, and waiting for her to look up. He thought about getting her attention by speaking up, but every time he opened his mouth to say something, he heard her words in his head, heard her telling him, Clark, you’ve always been a good friend. And those words were enough to stop his voice in his throat.
Clark flipped his glasses over in his hands while Lois rubbed at her eyes, and he wondered what he would be to her once she opened those eyes and found out how good old Clark Kent had been deceiving her all this time. He wasn’t her lover anymore-hadn’t been for more than five years-and soon, he wouldn’t even be a good friend, either. He would be nothing more than so much excess baggage-someone whom she would tolerate, for Jason’s sake, and Jason’s sake alone.
Clark flipped his glasses over again, fighting the urge to put them back on. Richard would have to be told, too, of course. How am I even going to come in to the office anymore? Clark asked himself. It was one thing to work alongside Lois and Richard when they just thought of him as a harmless co-worker. But once all of the cards were finally laid on the table, Clark felt that it would be preferable to try living on New Krypton than to keep up his act in front of their knowing eyes. Maybe I could transfer to the Metropolis Times, Clark thought. Perry would probably kill me-no, scratch that, he would kill me, but-
At that moment, he heard several sets of footsteps leave the stream of traffic that was flowing up and down the stairs. They were walking across the sixth floor landing. He shoved his glasses back on just as the door from the stairwell opened and a group of office workers filed through, heading for the architecture firm at the end of the hallway. Lois lifted her head and put on a tight smile, while Clark greeted the strangers with a little too much enthusiasm.
“Well,” Lois laughed nervously once they were alone again. “Now that we’ve gotten that little … fun fact out in the open, I might as well cough up the whole story.”
“Lois, I-“ Clark lifted his hand, going for his glasses again. It wasn’t the best time for this, it wasn’t the best place, but if he didn’t do it now, he suddenly felt that he never would.
“Yes, Clark?” Lois tilted her head, waiting for him to say more.
He let his hand drop. We are what we pretend to be, indeed, he thought. He couldn’t do it. Not yet anyway. Because to tell her the truth would be to lose her forever. That was why he was so afraid. He had already lost her as Superman, and to lose her as Clark Kent, too-he knew that it was inevitable, but he just wasn’t ready for it yet. Like a patient who has been diagnosed with terminal cancer, he needed time to come to terms with the reality of it. He needed a few more days to be in denial-to live in a fantasy world-to pretend that he wasn’t going to have to face a life without her.
“I, uh … is-is Jason … is he your son?” Clark found himself asking, for lack of anything better to say.
As it turned out, it seemed to have been the right thing to say, because Lois began slipping back into her usual mode of behavior, rolling her eyes at him as if it was the stupidest thing he could have asked-and, in all fairness, it was the stupidest thing he could have asked.
“With all the trouble he gets himself into, the answer to that should be obvious,” Lois remarked. “But in case it isn’t-yes, Jason is my son. What did you think, Clark-that Richard and I found him in the middle of a field somewhere?”
“Stranger things have certainly happened,” Clark said, suppressing a laugh.
“Sorry, Clark. I’m sure you don’t know what to think anymore,” Lois smiled at him, running a hand through her loose curls-such a simple gesture, and yet his breath caught in his throat at the sight of it.
“Um, well … I-I don’t …” Clark dropped his gaze while he searched for some kind of response.
“I’ll take that to mean ‘yes,’” Lois said before he could come up with anything. “Look, why don’t I just tell you everything from beginning to end, and then you can let me know what you think, okay?”
“Wh-what I … what I th-think?” Clark stammered. Most of the time, the stuttering was part of the act-he had to focus to make sure that he tripped over every other word. Not this time, though.
“Yeah,” Lois shrugged. “Give me some of your supposedly terrible advice.”
“If-if you say so, Lois,” Clark consented.
“Right … now then … where to start this sordid tale …” Lois trailed off and began nibbling on her thumb nail, a nervous habit that she seemed to have acquired during his absence (one of the smaller reminders of all the time they had lost). A crease deepened between her eyebrows as she frowned, and another silence fell between the two reporters.
Clark buttoned and unbuttoned the cuffs of his jacket, waiting for Lois to continue, and trying not to worry over what she was about to tell him. Even with the emotional stress she seemed to be under, he still couldn’t believe that she was about to confess to him that, yes, the rumors were true-she had been Superman’s girlfriend, and Jason was their son. If Lois Lane would divulge a secret like that-even if it was to the innocuous Clark Kent-then he didn’t know her half as well as he thought he did. But if she wasn’t going to talk to him about that, then what else-?
“Okay, sorry about that, I got a little … lost in thought,” Lois finally said. “Right. So anyway, before I met Richard, I was seeing another man-obviously. His name was-is-um … Charlie … Bird …“
In spite of himself, Clark began laughing. Even worse, he tried to hold it in, so that it came out as a snort. Well, at least he had been right about Lois-she wouldn’t have revealed the true nature of Jason’s origins had someone pulled out all of her fingernails with pliers (not that he would ever let that happen, of course).
“What?” Lois was giving him an exasperated look, although he could tell she was biting her lip to keep from smiling.
“I-I’m sorry, Lois, but that … that name just makes me think of a Charlie horse,” Clark told her, still chuckling, although he wasn’t really poking fun at her, but at himself. See what an absurd mess your lies have created, Kent? he was telling himself.
“Oh, shut up, Smallville,” Lois grumbled. “I can’t help it if the guy has a stupid name-I didn’t give it to him.”
“Sure, Lois. I’m-I’m backing off,” Clark raised his hands in a gesture of surrender.
“All right, where was I?” Lois asked, glaring at him. “Okay, so I was seeing Charlie for a while, and I … we were … I really … um …” Lois drifted off for a moment, pressing her lips together. “I was so in love with him-“
Clark had to grit his teeth to keep from reacting to those words.
“-but then he just left, without letting me know where he was going or even telling me that he was leaving-“
“Oh, so this is-this is that guy?” Clark interjected. “The one who didn’t say good-bye?”
“Yes! Exactly! This is him,” Lois said. “ See, Kent, you are a good listener. I’d almost forgotten that I’d told you about that.”
Clark tried not to feel too pleased by Lois’s compliment.
“So yeah, he-Charlie-just completely disappeared without saying good-bye,” Lois continued-snapped, really. “And I met Richard shortly afterwards and … oh, god, now you must be thinking that Richard was just some rebound, replacement boyfriend, and to tell you the truth-and this is going to sound terrible, but-he was at first. But then I found out that I was pregnant and-now this might sound strange, but I swear I had very good reasons to think this-I was convinced that the baby was Richard’s. And so I decided that I was going to make things work with him, for our child’s sake. And then, I woke up one day and … I realized that, while I wasn't looking, I had fallen in love with him.”
Clark couldn’t help but flinch at that. Well, this is what you get for having a conversation that you shouldn’t even be a part of, he reminded himself.
“He was just … he's been there for me when no one else has,” Lois went on. “And as I’m sure you know, he’s a great guy. A terrific father to Jason. I couldn’t have asked for more. But …”
“But?” Clark prompted when Lois fell silent.
“But then Su … um … Charlie … he came back,” Lois stated.
“Did he, um … where did … did you find out where he'd gone?” Clark inquired, trying to think of things that a newcomer to the situation would ask.
“I did,” Lois answered quicker than he had expected-apparently she had also become more comfortable with her role in this bizarre play. “He, um … well, you see, he’s in the CIA, and it turned out he was given a deep cover assignment in China-“
Clark covered his mouth to hide a smile, and resisted the urge to ask Lois to explain how she had persuaded a CIA operative to reveal something as classified as the details of a deep cover assignment.
“-and you were right,” she continued, her voice dropping so that it was nearly a whisper. “He didn’t say good-bye because … because it was too hard. He told me … he told me that if he had said good-bye, he never would have been able to leave.”
“So, uh, is … J-jason is …” Clark forced himself to speak, to detach, to stay in the mindset of the ignorant outsider.
“Yes, Jason is his,” Lois nodded. “I just found out.”
Clark shoved his hands into his pockets, and began nudging a dried piece of chewing gum on the floor with his foot. A thought had suddenly struck him. It had never occurred to him before, and he couldn’t say why it had come to him now; perhaps it was because, for the first time, he was looking at his relationship with Lois as if it had happened, not to him, but to someone else entirely. Whatever reason he had for thinking it, though, he knew that he had no right to voice the question that had formed itself in his mind. But since he had already crossed the line … Let’s go all the way and trample it, he decided.
“Lois?” he looked up and met her hazel eyes.
“Hmm?”
“Lois, why didn’t you wait?”