What Medical School Doesn't Train You For
Title: What Medical School Doesn't Train You For (2/4)
Author: xoxo_nat_xx
Pairing: Eunhyuk/Donghae (and several other ninja pairings)
Ratings: PG
Genre: Romance, Fluff, Angst (in the future)
Summary: Donghae's the new intern at this prestigious hospital, and he's one of the best medical students produced from his school. He thinks he is prepared for whatever that comes his way, anything, from that emergency surgical procedure to dealing with the aftermath of accidents, he has everything sailing smoothly. But Eunhyuk comes in and sticks out like a sore thumb, and disrupts Donghae's schedule, who soon falls into pieces. Does medical school really train you for everything, or is the real experience out there, after all?
It turns out that Donghae is stuck with Bed 12 after all; Siwon is swamped with administrative work that Yesung immediately disseminated the workload as such. And Heechul refuses to tell him what illness Eunhyuk the patient lying on Bed 13 is suffering from, because of confidentiality reasons, Heechul claims. Eeteuk just smiles at Donghae as he hears Donghae’s request, and walk away silently a second later.
Donghae’s left bewildered at Eeteuk’s response, and finds himself rolling his eyes behind Heechul’s back when Heechul pushes the medicine trolley away.
He can’t bear to bring himself to ask Eunhyuk face-to-face; doing that will be equivalent to surrendering, and it will mean that Eunhyuk has won this emotional battle of wits between them. Donghae has never been one to throw in the tower, and he doesn’t plan to start being one soon.
Damn, Donghae curses silently in his head as he walks into the ward again, and he already feels one pair of eyes staring intently at his movements. Donghae pretends not to notice that intense gaze that is peeking out from underneath the blanket, focusing on the prosthetic legs and the physiotherapist behind him instead.
Donghae sets the prosthetics leg down, right at the side of Bed 12. He hesitates a moment before straightening up, jabbing his palms deep into the pockets in front of his coat. The patient stares at him blankly, before transferring his gaze to the physiotherapist, already ready to begin with a gentle smile gracing her features. Donghae exhales, and he motions for the other to begin with the exercises. She nods, and she takes Donghae’s place beside the patient’s bedside.
His job here is done, Donghae surmises, he shouldn’t be standing around here anymore and wallowing around, he can spend his time on much more purposeful stuff in the hospital, definitely. He sighs imperceptibly and ignores the set of eyes still trained on him, turning towards the door.
“Not going to stay?” The question comes out as a whisper, but Donghae’s sharp ears catch it immediately. Surprisingly, it’s not from the patient from Bed 12, but the one beside, Eunhy- bed 13. Staring up at the ceiling in a helpless gesture, he lowers his eyes and turns back to face Eunhyuk.
“Not rea-“ Donghae stops midway, once he notices how Eunhyuk is looking at him. That curious gaze, as if he really wants to discover who Donghae really is underneath his mask, mixed with a tinge of sympathy, and Donghae senses a twinge of disparaging intent behind that gaze as well.
“Never felt the need to want someone to stay beside you before? Especially when you needed it the most?” Eunhyuk questions softly, and Donghae notices the room has fallen silent; both the physiotherapist and the patient lying in Bed 12 are staring at them, and listening to their conversation. They have abandoned any trace of exercises they were completing just fine previously, and all of a sudden Donghae feels pressurized to give a politically-correct answer and end this once and for all. Eunhyuk’s always popping out at random times, catching him totally off-guard and throwing him questions that make him go to depths he has never gone before to search for the answer.
Yet some part of him wants to present a cocky-yet-confident answer to Eunhyuk, so that it’s time it is Eunhyuk who is taken aback, and not Donghae. Donghae just stands still, gazing back strongly, and Eunhyuk’s not backing down either. It’s like a staring match as they exchange arguments and defend their stands silently, all in the battle of the mind.
They only break apart when Kibum extends his head into the ward, in search of Donghae. Kibum quickly announces that it’s code blue, and they are needed immediately at the A&E wards to prepare for casualties. Donghae nods professionally at Kibum and turns to walk out of the ward. He can still feel Eunhyuk’s gaze on him, as if silently challenging him that it is all not over yet. Donghae knows Eunhyuk’s staring at him, yet he can’t help but feel like there are two daggers stabbing into his back every step he takes.
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Death by massive blood loss. Exsanguinations.
Donghae carefully writes it down on a note to pass on to a nurse, so that she can list this down and catalog it in the hospital records later on. Ironically the actual victim of the robbing incident isn’t the one who is lying stone still on the morgue table, but his wife instead, Donghae thinks to himself. The guy was stabbed in a non-fatal spot by the robber, but his wife was brushed aside carelessly as the robber made his escape.
The wife was pregnant.
Siwon is holding on the baby they had managed to deliver through the caesarean operation earlier on, making slight cooing noises at the sleeping child. Kibum’s just leaning against one of the counter tops, looking at Siwon, and continues to be silent. They did manage to save the baby after all, all thanks to Yesung’s quick and prompt recognition and decision to make the father choose one; it’s impossible to have both alive, in the end. It’s difficult, Donghae acknowledges, but he can get used to this, he tells himself.
Someone presses a cup of coffee into his hands, and Donghae looks up, alarmed. He sees Yesung, having already given Kibum his own cup of coffee, and Donghae nods back stiffly at the head of department. He feels Yesung scrutinizing his face as he carefully takes a sip of the hot coffee, smoke still wafting up from the surface, and it feels good to feel it press up against his face.
“The first death is never easy.” Yesung states matter-of-factly, seemingly addressing no one in particular. He is staring at his own shoes, but Donghae understands; Yesung doesn’t want to single any of them out, not that they are weak, but human emotions are just like that. Kibum remains deathly silent, while Siwon manages a rigid nod, to which Yesung just responds with a tender smile. Donghae doesn’t know what he is supposed to say, or do though, and he ends up staring at Yesung directly in the eye.
Yesung just stares back, his expression soft. Donghae feels Yesung patting him on his shoulder, and he finds himself with an additional 30 minute break Yesung has just given him.
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Donghae finds himself in the pantry, leaning against the smooth granite table top, and some part of his brain recognizes that the cleaner must have cleaned it very hard, for the top is literally shining. He holds a brand new cup of coffee in his hands, and Kibum’s musing over another cup of coffee too, right beside him. Donghae can feel the occasional glances thrown in his way from his fellow intern, but he doggedly ignores them, staring straight ahead instead.
Kibum sighs, and Donghae freezes. He can almost hear what Kibum is going to say next, and he is already expecting that question to come, when he sees Kibum step into the pantry with him earlier on. To his surprise, Kibum just closes his mouth after the short sign, and carries on to swirl the cup of coffee in his hands.
The A&E department must be the most exciting, and fast-paced department in the entire hospital. Every single patient that comes into the hospital must go through the A&E department first, unless one already has a prior appointment somewhere else in the hospital. This is part of the reason why Donghae chose to work here, he wants to meet a lot of people, and knowing that he has seen that patient somewhere before, or knowing that this particular patient has been treated by him before just gives him a satisfied and content feeling deep down.
“I’m fine.” Donghae grinds out, and Kibum just looks at him. Donghae knows Kibum hasn’t said anything, but he just wishes to pre-empt him before something happens. Kibum shrugs matter-of-factly, and he gently sets the cup down on the table top, before taking his leave.
Donghae feels a pang of loss as he watches Kibum leave. He didn’t exactly mean to sound anti-social and get Kibum to depart from the pantry. Kibum’s already quiet enough; he will do fine to just stand there and do nothing, Donghae doesn’t mind. It feels like something has shifted in his world and he doesn’t know what it is.
“Doctors are allowed to cry, you know.” Someone speaks out suddenly in the middle of all this silence and Donghae jumps, the coffee in his cup rocking against the sides heavily. He lifts his head so he can discover who the other is, and somehow he is not stunned to see Eunhyuk sitting in a wheelchair, staring at him from the doorway.
Donghae surveys his surroundings with an air of blankness, before settling his gaze on Eunhyuk again.
“Why are you here?” Donghae asks, lifting his shoulders at the same time. He doesn’t know if he is expecting a reply from Eunhyuk, though.
Eunhyuk visibly sighs, and he leans back against the back of the wheelchair for support.
“My bed is on this floor. I’m taking a walk around the floor. Or rather, taking a seated walk around. Why do you act like we are enemies?”
It’s an innocent question, Donghae admits, but he immediately feels that his guard is up, and the walls around his heart go up just this slightly, as he tenses and grips on harder to his cup of coffee. He wants to shout at Eunhyuk, telling the latter how much his questions discomfit him at times, making him feel wrong-footed and everything, and he is not the doctor, Donghae is, but Donghae feels like he is unable to provide any correct answer to the question Eunhyuk asks. It’s a weird feeling, like everything has changed, and Donghae is the patient, and Eunhyuk’s the doctor instead. It’s frighteningly funny how things can change in a snap of fingers, Donghae thinks, and his world is now spinning in the opposite direction on its axis.
Donghae gives a shrug instead, and he drops his gaze to the floor, remaining silent. He can still feel Eunhyuk’s gaze on him, but somehow it doesn’t seem to matter much to him anymore, now.
Eunhyuk must have sensed the reluctance in Donghae to approach the topic, for he keeps quiet for a little while, and Donghae appreciates the silence hanging between them. It’s comfortable, for once, and Donghae doesn’t feel like there is a need to retaliate and draw back immediately, in fear of getting hurt.
“Doctors are human, too.” Donghae hears Eunhyuk say, and he raises his eyes from the ground to fix them onto Eunhyuk. Eunhyuk is playing with his fingers, rigidly avoiding his gaze, Donghae thinks, and this is the first time ever Eunhyuk avoids his gaze. It was always the other way round, and Donghae feels a calming sense, although he doesn’t know why.
“I’ve seen Yesung cry before.” Eunhyuk attempts, and Donghae breaks out into a reluctant smile.
“No one’s perfect, Donghae, no one.” Eunhyuk completes, and he wheels himself out of Donghae’s sight. Donghae just stares at the empty spot Eunhyuk’s left behind, and this feels different from Kibum. When Kibum left, it felt like someone was deserting him; but when Eunhyuk left, it felt like he was giving Donghae space and time to mull it over. Donghae smiles quietly in the pantry, as he rolls the mouthful of coffee and swirls it with his tongue, as he acknowledges that he is getting over the most difficult first-death.
It only registers in Donghae’s mind a little later, that Eunhyuk has been staying at the hospital for quite some time, if he has seen Yesung cry before. Donghae’s betting that Yesung cried because of Ryeowook, and that’s a year ago. Donghae concludes that Eunhyuk is suffering from an illness that makes the hospital his home for the past one year, and his heart aches a little, silently. Donghae blames it on the first-death.
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Ring ring ring
And it repeats. Donghae fumbles with his phone slightly as he pulls his clothes on, having just finished his shower in the hospital. He hasn’t been able to return home, and his family in Mokpo, somewhere that is absurdly far from Seoul, and Donghae wonders why it is still considered a part of Korea.
“Hello?” Finally, Donghae thinks, as his mouth pull upwards into a smile.
“Mum. Donghae here.”
“Ahh Donghae!” Donghae hears his mum exclaim, and the phone go fuzzy for the next few seconds as he hears his mum relaying the news to anyone who is present beside her. He’s glad that at least his mum is still the same, and it makes him feel better, as if something hasn’t really changed in this world.
“Henry’s fine by the way. He’s still practicing his violin, and he misses you from time to time, although he doesn’t really vocally express it. So, how’s Seoul?”
“Fine, mum. Work has been keeping me pretty busy, but I am managing it fine. Perhaps one day I will be able to get some days off and go back to Mokpo to visit you all.” Donghae states, and he hears his mother chuckle at the other end.
“Don’t delude yourself, son. Your work is keeping you busy; we will go over to see you one day. Henry and I, both of us will pack our bags and run all the way over to Seoul.” Donghae laughs quietly, and he can almost feel his mother’s smile at the other end. The conversation falls into silence, and Donghae hurriedly puts on his shoes, before making his way out of the locker room to proceed down the hallway.
“So Donghae…are you…fine…being a doctor?” His mum asks tentatively, and Donghae wonders what she really means.
“I mean, you are always so emotionless and everything, I wasn’t even sure you are my son!” She laughs, and Donghae smiles wider. “You know, doctors can express themselves at times too.” She finishes, and Donghae hears her inhale softly. Donghae stops in his footsteps and looks to his right, carefully observing a ward through the glass window. He wonders how he stumbled through this afternoon.
“Yeah mum, I know. Look, mum, I have to go off now. I will see you real soon, alright?” Donghae rushes out, and he quickly shuts his phone as soon as he hears the promises his mum makes and the goodbye she breaths out. He turns fully so he is now facing the ward, the glass window directly in front of him. His posture relaxes somewhat, and he place his hands on the still, gazing at a particular person in the ward.
Eunhyuk’s looking out of the window, and Donghae’s sure that he is looking at the full moon hanging on the night skies tonight. There are no clouds obstructing the clear view today, Donghae noted previously, when he was gobbling down his dinner like there was no tomorrow in a matter of seconds. It’s a good sight to enjoy tonight, Donghae thinks to himself. His mouth twitches slightly as he remembers how Eunhyuk tried to cheer him up this afternoon, and perhaps, Eunhyuk deserves some credit, after all. At this moment, Donghae isn’t bothered about Eunhyuk being the doctor; he doesn’t mind being the patient, for once.
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“So. Enjoying the view?”
Eunhyuk whirls around in his bed, and he spots Donghae making his way over to him. Eunhyuk quickly pulls up the blanket that was pooled around his legs a second ago, for reasons he himself, isn’t sure why. The patient in Bed 12 mumbles something in his sleep, before executing a turn towards the other direction, and letting out a soft snore.
“Yeah,” Eunhyuk shrugs. “It’s beautiful. I guess the full moon is just another one of the happenings in my life as a patient on Bed 13. Everything loses its beauty once you experience it for many times.” Eunhyuk stares at Donghae as he makes the simple statement, putting a slight emphasis on the last few words. He sees Donghae still at the words, and is that a blush creeping up Donghae’s face?
“Like love.” Donghae ventures, trying to divert the attention away from his cheeks. How did Eunhyuk know that he always referred to him as the obnoxious patient on Bed 13?
“Yes, like love.” Eunhyuk settles more comfortably on the bed, and he scrutinizes Donghae’s face in the process.
“You are not the first doctor to get irritated by me, according to Heechul.” Eunhyuk states simply, and Donghae immediately knows where Eunhyuk has been getting all his information from. He opens his mouth to offer an apology, or something to diffuse the tension, but Eunhyuk cuts him to it by raising a finger first.
“I know my questions unsettle you. But I’m still seeking answers for them.”
Donghae closes his mouth, and he feels it curve into a grin.
“I’m not here to put you down, nor to snatch your position of authority from you. I’m just curious, and I want to understand. And by the way my main reason here is to recover.” Eunhyuk states, deadpanned.
Donghae feels a chuckle coming through, but he quickly gets rid of it by giving a few silent coughs that rack through his whole body, so he doesn’t wake the patient lying beside Eunhyuk. He lowers his hand from his mouth once he is finished, and he sees Eunhyuk staring at him again. Eunhyuk breaks contact after a while, and he lies back onto the bed, kicking his blanket so it settles peacefully over him. He motions to Donghae, and Donghae stands at the side, confused.
“Tuck the edges of the blanket in?” Eunhyuk questions, and he wiggles some more in his position to get comfortable. Donghae obliges, although there is no ‘please’ in Eunhyuk’s plead, but Donghae hears it anyway, and he thinks he owes Eunhyuk one, after this afternoon.
“Donghae, it’s alright to get attached to patients, at times. It’s okay to learn and call them by their names. Good night.” Eunhyuk says quietly, and he turns over so he is facing the wall with the window, and Donghae cannot catch Eunhyuk’s expression. Donghae straightens up and tilts his head at the sleeping figure on the bed, it seems like Eunhyuk has a lot to teach these days. Donghae realizes that Eunhyuk has never addressed him as “Lee-shii” before, and has never really treated him like someone with authority.
He realizes he still doesn’t know what illness Eunhyuk’s suffering from, though.
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A/N: I've extended the fic. D: for me. :D for you. Hahaha. Thank you for all the comments for the last post! Thank you so, so much! :D
Author: xoxo_nat_xx
Pairing: Eunhyuk/Donghae (and several other ninja pairings)
Ratings: PG
Genre: Romance, Fluff, Angst (in the future)
Summary: Donghae's the new intern at this prestigious hospital, and he's one of the best medical students produced from his school. He thinks he is prepared for whatever that comes his way, anything, from that emergency surgical procedure to dealing with the aftermath of accidents, he has everything sailing smoothly. But Eunhyuk comes in and sticks out like a sore thumb, and disrupts Donghae's schedule, who soon falls into pieces. Does medical school really train you for everything, or is the real experience out there, after all?
It turns out that Donghae is stuck with Bed 12 after all; Siwon is swamped with administrative work that Yesung immediately disseminated the workload as such. And Heechul refuses to tell him what illness Eunhyuk the patient lying on Bed 13 is suffering from, because of confidentiality reasons, Heechul claims. Eeteuk just smiles at Donghae as he hears Donghae’s request, and walk away silently a second later.
Donghae’s left bewildered at Eeteuk’s response, and finds himself rolling his eyes behind Heechul’s back when Heechul pushes the medicine trolley away.
He can’t bear to bring himself to ask Eunhyuk face-to-face; doing that will be equivalent to surrendering, and it will mean that Eunhyuk has won this emotional battle of wits between them. Donghae has never been one to throw in the tower, and he doesn’t plan to start being one soon.
Damn, Donghae curses silently in his head as he walks into the ward again, and he already feels one pair of eyes staring intently at his movements. Donghae pretends not to notice that intense gaze that is peeking out from underneath the blanket, focusing on the prosthetic legs and the physiotherapist behind him instead.
Donghae sets the prosthetics leg down, right at the side of Bed 12. He hesitates a moment before straightening up, jabbing his palms deep into the pockets in front of his coat. The patient stares at him blankly, before transferring his gaze to the physiotherapist, already ready to begin with a gentle smile gracing her features. Donghae exhales, and he motions for the other to begin with the exercises. She nods, and she takes Donghae’s place beside the patient’s bedside.
His job here is done, Donghae surmises, he shouldn’t be standing around here anymore and wallowing around, he can spend his time on much more purposeful stuff in the hospital, definitely. He sighs imperceptibly and ignores the set of eyes still trained on him, turning towards the door.
“Not going to stay?” The question comes out as a whisper, but Donghae’s sharp ears catch it immediately. Surprisingly, it’s not from the patient from Bed 12, but the one beside, Eunhy- bed 13. Staring up at the ceiling in a helpless gesture, he lowers his eyes and turns back to face Eunhyuk.
“Not rea-“ Donghae stops midway, once he notices how Eunhyuk is looking at him. That curious gaze, as if he really wants to discover who Donghae really is underneath his mask, mixed with a tinge of sympathy, and Donghae senses a twinge of disparaging intent behind that gaze as well.
“Never felt the need to want someone to stay beside you before? Especially when you needed it the most?” Eunhyuk questions softly, and Donghae notices the room has fallen silent; both the physiotherapist and the patient lying in Bed 12 are staring at them, and listening to their conversation. They have abandoned any trace of exercises they were completing just fine previously, and all of a sudden Donghae feels pressurized to give a politically-correct answer and end this once and for all. Eunhyuk’s always popping out at random times, catching him totally off-guard and throwing him questions that make him go to depths he has never gone before to search for the answer.
Yet some part of him wants to present a cocky-yet-confident answer to Eunhyuk, so that it’s time it is Eunhyuk who is taken aback, and not Donghae. Donghae just stands still, gazing back strongly, and Eunhyuk’s not backing down either. It’s like a staring match as they exchange arguments and defend their stands silently, all in the battle of the mind.
They only break apart when Kibum extends his head into the ward, in search of Donghae. Kibum quickly announces that it’s code blue, and they are needed immediately at the A&E wards to prepare for casualties. Donghae nods professionally at Kibum and turns to walk out of the ward. He can still feel Eunhyuk’s gaze on him, as if silently challenging him that it is all not over yet. Donghae knows Eunhyuk’s staring at him, yet he can’t help but feel like there are two daggers stabbing into his back every step he takes.
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Death by massive blood loss. Exsanguinations.
Donghae carefully writes it down on a note to pass on to a nurse, so that she can list this down and catalog it in the hospital records later on. Ironically the actual victim of the robbing incident isn’t the one who is lying stone still on the morgue table, but his wife instead, Donghae thinks to himself. The guy was stabbed in a non-fatal spot by the robber, but his wife was brushed aside carelessly as the robber made his escape.
The wife was pregnant.
Siwon is holding on the baby they had managed to deliver through the caesarean operation earlier on, making slight cooing noises at the sleeping child. Kibum’s just leaning against one of the counter tops, looking at Siwon, and continues to be silent. They did manage to save the baby after all, all thanks to Yesung’s quick and prompt recognition and decision to make the father choose one; it’s impossible to have both alive, in the end. It’s difficult, Donghae acknowledges, but he can get used to this, he tells himself.
Someone presses a cup of coffee into his hands, and Donghae looks up, alarmed. He sees Yesung, having already given Kibum his own cup of coffee, and Donghae nods back stiffly at the head of department. He feels Yesung scrutinizing his face as he carefully takes a sip of the hot coffee, smoke still wafting up from the surface, and it feels good to feel it press up against his face.
“The first death is never easy.” Yesung states matter-of-factly, seemingly addressing no one in particular. He is staring at his own shoes, but Donghae understands; Yesung doesn’t want to single any of them out, not that they are weak, but human emotions are just like that. Kibum remains deathly silent, while Siwon manages a rigid nod, to which Yesung just responds with a tender smile. Donghae doesn’t know what he is supposed to say, or do though, and he ends up staring at Yesung directly in the eye.
Yesung just stares back, his expression soft. Donghae feels Yesung patting him on his shoulder, and he finds himself with an additional 30 minute break Yesung has just given him.
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Donghae finds himself in the pantry, leaning against the smooth granite table top, and some part of his brain recognizes that the cleaner must have cleaned it very hard, for the top is literally shining. He holds a brand new cup of coffee in his hands, and Kibum’s musing over another cup of coffee too, right beside him. Donghae can feel the occasional glances thrown in his way from his fellow intern, but he doggedly ignores them, staring straight ahead instead.
Kibum sighs, and Donghae freezes. He can almost hear what Kibum is going to say next, and he is already expecting that question to come, when he sees Kibum step into the pantry with him earlier on. To his surprise, Kibum just closes his mouth after the short sign, and carries on to swirl the cup of coffee in his hands.
The A&E department must be the most exciting, and fast-paced department in the entire hospital. Every single patient that comes into the hospital must go through the A&E department first, unless one already has a prior appointment somewhere else in the hospital. This is part of the reason why Donghae chose to work here, he wants to meet a lot of people, and knowing that he has seen that patient somewhere before, or knowing that this particular patient has been treated by him before just gives him a satisfied and content feeling deep down.
“I’m fine.” Donghae grinds out, and Kibum just looks at him. Donghae knows Kibum hasn’t said anything, but he just wishes to pre-empt him before something happens. Kibum shrugs matter-of-factly, and he gently sets the cup down on the table top, before taking his leave.
Donghae feels a pang of loss as he watches Kibum leave. He didn’t exactly mean to sound anti-social and get Kibum to depart from the pantry. Kibum’s already quiet enough; he will do fine to just stand there and do nothing, Donghae doesn’t mind. It feels like something has shifted in his world and he doesn’t know what it is.
“Doctors are allowed to cry, you know.” Someone speaks out suddenly in the middle of all this silence and Donghae jumps, the coffee in his cup rocking against the sides heavily. He lifts his head so he can discover who the other is, and somehow he is not stunned to see Eunhyuk sitting in a wheelchair, staring at him from the doorway.
Donghae surveys his surroundings with an air of blankness, before settling his gaze on Eunhyuk again.
“Why are you here?” Donghae asks, lifting his shoulders at the same time. He doesn’t know if he is expecting a reply from Eunhyuk, though.
Eunhyuk visibly sighs, and he leans back against the back of the wheelchair for support.
“My bed is on this floor. I’m taking a walk around the floor. Or rather, taking a seated walk around. Why do you act like we are enemies?”
It’s an innocent question, Donghae admits, but he immediately feels that his guard is up, and the walls around his heart go up just this slightly, as he tenses and grips on harder to his cup of coffee. He wants to shout at Eunhyuk, telling the latter how much his questions discomfit him at times, making him feel wrong-footed and everything, and he is not the doctor, Donghae is, but Donghae feels like he is unable to provide any correct answer to the question Eunhyuk asks. It’s a weird feeling, like everything has changed, and Donghae is the patient, and Eunhyuk’s the doctor instead. It’s frighteningly funny how things can change in a snap of fingers, Donghae thinks, and his world is now spinning in the opposite direction on its axis.
Donghae gives a shrug instead, and he drops his gaze to the floor, remaining silent. He can still feel Eunhyuk’s gaze on him, but somehow it doesn’t seem to matter much to him anymore, now.
Eunhyuk must have sensed the reluctance in Donghae to approach the topic, for he keeps quiet for a little while, and Donghae appreciates the silence hanging between them. It’s comfortable, for once, and Donghae doesn’t feel like there is a need to retaliate and draw back immediately, in fear of getting hurt.
“Doctors are human, too.” Donghae hears Eunhyuk say, and he raises his eyes from the ground to fix them onto Eunhyuk. Eunhyuk is playing with his fingers, rigidly avoiding his gaze, Donghae thinks, and this is the first time ever Eunhyuk avoids his gaze. It was always the other way round, and Donghae feels a calming sense, although he doesn’t know why.
“I’ve seen Yesung cry before.” Eunhyuk attempts, and Donghae breaks out into a reluctant smile.
“No one’s perfect, Donghae, no one.” Eunhyuk completes, and he wheels himself out of Donghae’s sight. Donghae just stares at the empty spot Eunhyuk’s left behind, and this feels different from Kibum. When Kibum left, it felt like someone was deserting him; but when Eunhyuk left, it felt like he was giving Donghae space and time to mull it over. Donghae smiles quietly in the pantry, as he rolls the mouthful of coffee and swirls it with his tongue, as he acknowledges that he is getting over the most difficult first-death.
It only registers in Donghae’s mind a little later, that Eunhyuk has been staying at the hospital for quite some time, if he has seen Yesung cry before. Donghae’s betting that Yesung cried because of Ryeowook, and that’s a year ago. Donghae concludes that Eunhyuk is suffering from an illness that makes the hospital his home for the past one year, and his heart aches a little, silently. Donghae blames it on the first-death.
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Ring ring ring
And it repeats. Donghae fumbles with his phone slightly as he pulls his clothes on, having just finished his shower in the hospital. He hasn’t been able to return home, and his family in Mokpo, somewhere that is absurdly far from Seoul, and Donghae wonders why it is still considered a part of Korea.
“Hello?” Finally, Donghae thinks, as his mouth pull upwards into a smile.
“Mum. Donghae here.”
“Ahh Donghae!” Donghae hears his mum exclaim, and the phone go fuzzy for the next few seconds as he hears his mum relaying the news to anyone who is present beside her. He’s glad that at least his mum is still the same, and it makes him feel better, as if something hasn’t really changed in this world.
“Henry’s fine by the way. He’s still practicing his violin, and he misses you from time to time, although he doesn’t really vocally express it. So, how’s Seoul?”
“Fine, mum. Work has been keeping me pretty busy, but I am managing it fine. Perhaps one day I will be able to get some days off and go back to Mokpo to visit you all.” Donghae states, and he hears his mother chuckle at the other end.
“Don’t delude yourself, son. Your work is keeping you busy; we will go over to see you one day. Henry and I, both of us will pack our bags and run all the way over to Seoul.” Donghae laughs quietly, and he can almost feel his mother’s smile at the other end. The conversation falls into silence, and Donghae hurriedly puts on his shoes, before making his way out of the locker room to proceed down the hallway.
“So Donghae…are you…fine…being a doctor?” His mum asks tentatively, and Donghae wonders what she really means.
“I mean, you are always so emotionless and everything, I wasn’t even sure you are my son!” She laughs, and Donghae smiles wider. “You know, doctors can express themselves at times too.” She finishes, and Donghae hears her inhale softly. Donghae stops in his footsteps and looks to his right, carefully observing a ward through the glass window. He wonders how he stumbled through this afternoon.
“Yeah mum, I know. Look, mum, I have to go off now. I will see you real soon, alright?” Donghae rushes out, and he quickly shuts his phone as soon as he hears the promises his mum makes and the goodbye she breaths out. He turns fully so he is now facing the ward, the glass window directly in front of him. His posture relaxes somewhat, and he place his hands on the still, gazing at a particular person in the ward.
Eunhyuk’s looking out of the window, and Donghae’s sure that he is looking at the full moon hanging on the night skies tonight. There are no clouds obstructing the clear view today, Donghae noted previously, when he was gobbling down his dinner like there was no tomorrow in a matter of seconds. It’s a good sight to enjoy tonight, Donghae thinks to himself. His mouth twitches slightly as he remembers how Eunhyuk tried to cheer him up this afternoon, and perhaps, Eunhyuk deserves some credit, after all. At this moment, Donghae isn’t bothered about Eunhyuk being the doctor; he doesn’t mind being the patient, for once.
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“So. Enjoying the view?”
Eunhyuk whirls around in his bed, and he spots Donghae making his way over to him. Eunhyuk quickly pulls up the blanket that was pooled around his legs a second ago, for reasons he himself, isn’t sure why. The patient in Bed 12 mumbles something in his sleep, before executing a turn towards the other direction, and letting out a soft snore.
“Yeah,” Eunhyuk shrugs. “It’s beautiful. I guess the full moon is just another one of the happenings in my life as a patient on Bed 13. Everything loses its beauty once you experience it for many times.” Eunhyuk stares at Donghae as he makes the simple statement, putting a slight emphasis on the last few words. He sees Donghae still at the words, and is that a blush creeping up Donghae’s face?
“Like love.” Donghae ventures, trying to divert the attention away from his cheeks. How did Eunhyuk know that he always referred to him as the obnoxious patient on Bed 13?
“Yes, like love.” Eunhyuk settles more comfortably on the bed, and he scrutinizes Donghae’s face in the process.
“You are not the first doctor to get irritated by me, according to Heechul.” Eunhyuk states simply, and Donghae immediately knows where Eunhyuk has been getting all his information from. He opens his mouth to offer an apology, or something to diffuse the tension, but Eunhyuk cuts him to it by raising a finger first.
“I know my questions unsettle you. But I’m still seeking answers for them.”
Donghae closes his mouth, and he feels it curve into a grin.
“I’m not here to put you down, nor to snatch your position of authority from you. I’m just curious, and I want to understand. And by the way my main reason here is to recover.” Eunhyuk states, deadpanned.
Donghae feels a chuckle coming through, but he quickly gets rid of it by giving a few silent coughs that rack through his whole body, so he doesn’t wake the patient lying beside Eunhyuk. He lowers his hand from his mouth once he is finished, and he sees Eunhyuk staring at him again. Eunhyuk breaks contact after a while, and he lies back onto the bed, kicking his blanket so it settles peacefully over him. He motions to Donghae, and Donghae stands at the side, confused.
“Tuck the edges of the blanket in?” Eunhyuk questions, and he wiggles some more in his position to get comfortable. Donghae obliges, although there is no ‘please’ in Eunhyuk’s plead, but Donghae hears it anyway, and he thinks he owes Eunhyuk one, after this afternoon.
“Donghae, it’s alright to get attached to patients, at times. It’s okay to learn and call them by their names. Good night.” Eunhyuk says quietly, and he turns over so he is facing the wall with the window, and Donghae cannot catch Eunhyuk’s expression. Donghae straightens up and tilts his head at the sleeping figure on the bed, it seems like Eunhyuk has a lot to teach these days. Donghae realizes that Eunhyuk has never addressed him as “Lee-shii” before, and has never really treated him like someone with authority.
He realizes he still doesn’t know what illness Eunhyuk’s suffering from, though.
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A/N: I've extended the fic. D: for me. :D for you. Hahaha. Thank you for all the comments for the last post! Thank you so, so much! :D