Ficmix: i'd let you run away with all you borrowed
i'd let you run away with all you borrowed
Zac/Van/Ash - HSM RPF
PG | 660 words
In which three parts make a whole.
from Zac:
o1. razorblade - the strokes
he would never talk,
but he was not shy
she was a street-smart girl,
but she could not lie
they were perfect for each other
say it now
'cause in your heart it's loud
The thing about him and her is they're friends more than anything else. What they've got together is different from what either of them have with Van. It's easy the way it's simple. That sounds like the same thing, but it's not.
It used to be she was just Van's best friend. Then she was his best friend, too. That worked out. It was even, somehow; balanced. Then one day, without any of them noticing, something shifted. Some piece neither of them could see just slid into place with this click; this realization that this was how they all fit together.
He's quit trying to put a label on it.
o2. shiny bruise - the damnwells
is it too late to say i'm sorry?
so buried by, for the selfish child, who missed his chance for holy mercy.
buried alive by your own sorrow,
if this was me, i'd let you run away with all you borrowed.
Sometimes he feels a little bad about it all. Like, it's not fair the way she has to share. She says she wants them both, so she has them both.
She assures him, “This is what I need” and “I couldn't pick if I wanted to.”
It takes work, but he believes her. Still. He can't help that little part of him that thinks she'd be happier with just one of them, that it'd be easier on her. He doesn't talk about it, though. He tells himself it's because he trusts her to be honest with him.
Mostly, he's afraid of where he'd be if he asked her to choose.
from Van:
o3. if she wants me - belle and sebastian
if you think to yourself, “what should i do now?”
than take the baton, and girl, you better run with it.
'cause there is no point in standing in the past cause it’s over and done with.
She's kind of a mess, they way she's everywhere; wanting to feel everything at once. But she's quiet about it at the same time. The way she talks, like the people she cares about the most are the ones she wants to bother the least. Van aims to do something about that.
Van asks her, “Are you sure this is okay?”
Ash pins her with this look, like Really? We're going through this again? “Are you happy?”
Van grins so hard her face hurts. She braces her weight on her hands and leans over, “So happy.”
“Then it's okay.” Ash leans impossibly closer, with nothing but certainty in her eyes.
o4. daydreamer - adele
you can find him sittin' on your doorstep
waiting for the surprise
it will feel like he's been there for hours
and you can tell that he'll be there for life
When he hugs her, it's like he hasn't seen her for weeks. He picks her up off the ground and turns in circles. She pretends she hates it; she squeals protests and pounds lightly on his shoulders until he puts her down. Secretly, though, it makes her feel loved. Afterwards, she's always a little dizzy and it's never because of the spinning.
Sometimes, he'll just lean over and press a kiss to her cheek, just shy of her ear. He might whisper three little words. He'll linger, one hand on her knee, and smile.
She's tried to find them, but she doesn't have words for how that makes her feel.
from Ash:
o5. an honest mistake - the bravery
sometimes
i forget i'm still awake
i fuck up and say these things out loud
my old friend...
i swear i never meant for this
He's good about not being jealous. She's still working on it. It's hard some days, feeling like a third wheel. Or, it was at first. And she'd grin and bear it, being this extra piece that didn't quite fit.
Then suddenly it wasn't “extra,” it was “missing.” They were three parts of one whole. She wasn't on the edge anymore, she was touching the middle. That took some readjusting. Nobody likes a Yoko; she wasn't looking to break up the band. The last thing she wanted was to come between. She told him that once.
He'd said, “That's not it.”
He'd swore, “She needs you.”
He'd amended, “We need you.”
o6. close up - frou frou
ok..no more questions,
no worries
it's destination unknown
so dive in
the waters great
It bothers her that Van could ever think she doesn't want this. It's not easy for her to say how all of this makes her feel, because it's a little weird the way they all are. She knows that. But Van isn't the only one who needs this. There's no way that she'd let this slip away from her.
“Hey, come here,” she says.
Van turns around, arms already open, and flings herself into an embrace. Van's arms are tight around her neck and she's struggling a little to keep standing, but she holds on.
Van feels it, pulls back a little, “Too tight? Want me to let go?”
“No.”
Zac/Van/Ash - HSM RPF
PG | 660 words
In which three parts make a whole.
from Zac:
o1. razorblade - the strokes
he would never talk,
but he was not shy
she was a street-smart girl,
but she could not lie
they were perfect for each other
say it now
'cause in your heart it's loud
The thing about him and her is they're friends more than anything else. What they've got together is different from what either of them have with Van. It's easy the way it's simple. That sounds like the same thing, but it's not.
It used to be she was just Van's best friend. Then she was his best friend, too. That worked out. It was even, somehow; balanced. Then one day, without any of them noticing, something shifted. Some piece neither of them could see just slid into place with this click; this realization that this was how they all fit together.
He's quit trying to put a label on it.
o2. shiny bruise - the damnwells
is it too late to say i'm sorry?
so buried by, for the selfish child, who missed his chance for holy mercy.
buried alive by your own sorrow,
if this was me, i'd let you run away with all you borrowed.
Sometimes he feels a little bad about it all. Like, it's not fair the way she has to share. She says she wants them both, so she has them both.
She assures him, “This is what I need” and “I couldn't pick if I wanted to.”
It takes work, but he believes her. Still. He can't help that little part of him that thinks she'd be happier with just one of them, that it'd be easier on her. He doesn't talk about it, though. He tells himself it's because he trusts her to be honest with him.
Mostly, he's afraid of where he'd be if he asked her to choose.
from Van:
o3. if she wants me - belle and sebastian
if you think to yourself, “what should i do now?”
than take the baton, and girl, you better run with it.
'cause there is no point in standing in the past cause it’s over and done with.
She's kind of a mess, they way she's everywhere; wanting to feel everything at once. But she's quiet about it at the same time. The way she talks, like the people she cares about the most are the ones she wants to bother the least. Van aims to do something about that.
Van asks her, “Are you sure this is okay?”
Ash pins her with this look, like Really? We're going through this again? “Are you happy?”
Van grins so hard her face hurts. She braces her weight on her hands and leans over, “So happy.”
“Then it's okay.” Ash leans impossibly closer, with nothing but certainty in her eyes.
o4. daydreamer - adele
you can find him sittin' on your doorstep
waiting for the surprise
it will feel like he's been there for hours
and you can tell that he'll be there for life
When he hugs her, it's like he hasn't seen her for weeks. He picks her up off the ground and turns in circles. She pretends she hates it; she squeals protests and pounds lightly on his shoulders until he puts her down. Secretly, though, it makes her feel loved. Afterwards, she's always a little dizzy and it's never because of the spinning.
Sometimes, he'll just lean over and press a kiss to her cheek, just shy of her ear. He might whisper three little words. He'll linger, one hand on her knee, and smile.
She's tried to find them, but she doesn't have words for how that makes her feel.
from Ash:
o5. an honest mistake - the bravery
sometimes
i forget i'm still awake
i fuck up and say these things out loud
my old friend...
i swear i never meant for this
He's good about not being jealous. She's still working on it. It's hard some days, feeling like a third wheel. Or, it was at first. And she'd grin and bear it, being this extra piece that didn't quite fit.
Then suddenly it wasn't “extra,” it was “missing.” They were three parts of one whole. She wasn't on the edge anymore, she was touching the middle. That took some readjusting. Nobody likes a Yoko; she wasn't looking to break up the band. The last thing she wanted was to come between. She told him that once.
He'd said, “That's not it.”
He'd swore, “She needs you.”
He'd amended, “We need you.”
o6. close up - frou frou
ok..no more questions,
no worries
it's destination unknown
so dive in
the waters great
It bothers her that Van could ever think she doesn't want this. It's not easy for her to say how all of this makes her feel, because it's a little weird the way they all are. She knows that. But Van isn't the only one who needs this. There's no way that she'd let this slip away from her.
“Hey, come here,” she says.
Van turns around, arms already open, and flings herself into an embrace. Van's arms are tight around her neck and she's struggling a little to keep standing, but she holds on.
Van feels it, pulls back a little, “Too tight? Want me to let go?”
“No.”